“I want this, Blaine, really,” Kurt said, looking up at Blaine through his eyelashes, a trick that he had perfected despite his extra inches on Blaine. The picture he created was so honest that Blaine should have seen something wrong right away. Kurt had perfected his mask a long time ago, one so similar to Blaine’s own that it was sometimes unnerving for him, like stepping back in time and seeing who he was before Kurt had stopped him on the staircase and changed his life. Nowadays Blaine’s larger than life smile and exultant puppy persona were more of his reality, not just a façade to hide the scars.

Blaine should have noticed that Kurt’s smile seemed a little too familiar.

“I want you.” Then soft lips were being pressed to his, and Blaine felt the unease melt away, along with any capability to think. It was like this every time his lips met Kurt’s; from that kiss, the first kiss where his blood had turned electric in his veins, and he had known that nothing he had just declared to Kurt was an overestimation of any kind; to small, almost absent minded kisses that Kurt placed on his lips before leaving him for any space of time- a trip to the kitchen for a glass of water.

This kiss was progressing quickly though, and suddenly Blaine felt out of his element for what he assumed wouldn’t be the first time that night. Blaine being the more tactile of the two was always the one controlling physical acts, with Kurt always attempting to get Blaine to open up and let go of his mask. It was the pattern that their relationship had fallen into, but Kurt would always allow Blaine his silence when topics turned too intense, and Blaine would never push Kurt further than where he was comfortable. Or, he hadn’t thought he would. But Kurt was controlling this kiss, and with a fervor Blaine didn’t recognize.

Blaine hadn’t thought that he would ever pressure Kurt; this was a prerequisite to entering the relationship in the first place, spoken into the darkness along with other unheard promises with the notes of ‘Blackbird’ replaying in his head. It was only then that he began thinking of what he would even say to Kurt about his feelings; I’ve been looking for you forever. But now, he knew that with all his good intentions and starry-eyed antics, he was still going to screw up.

He couldn’t do that again. Not now.

He pulled back from Kurt, and attempted to clear his brain, a difficult feat when Kurt made a whining sound from deep in his chest, and attempted to pull him back in. Blaine’s restraint almost faltered. Almost.

“You know I love you, right?” Blaine said looking straight into Kurt’s eyes as he waited for the familiar flash that told him more than any three words could. In the darkness of his blackened porch Blaine attributed the lack of reply as enthusiasm when Kurt reattached his mouth to Blaine’s, and whispered his reply, “I know, and I love you, too. That’s why I know I can do this with you.”

The breathy tone that Kurt used did nothing to help clear Blaine’s head, but he had to get it out. Kurt let out an indignant sound as Blaine started talking- in what he was pleased to hear was only a slightly dazed voice- and moved his attention to Blaine’s neck.

“But I don’t want this to be a reaction, Kurt, like some kind of proof that you do want me, or another competition between you and Sebastian, because you know that I only want you, it’s always been you- oh-,” Blaine’s rant was cut off as Kurt reached the collar of his shirt and started pulling it aside, making a pleased sound that he had managed to shut his boyfriend up.

Just as Blaine was going to give up on talking altogether, for the rest of his life if need be, Kurt straightened up to his full height and Blaine felt himself being pushed up against his front door. Blaine didn’t think he’d ever been quite this happy to be home. Instead of continuing his path along Blaine’s neck, however, Kurt looked at Blaine, his eyes almost pleading, contrasting entirely with his completely dominant position, pushed up into Blaine’s body.

“Please, Blaine, don’t keep trying to talk us out of this. Yes, in the past I might have been a little touchy about the whole sex subject, but we’re in love, and this is what people in love do. I want this for us.” Kurt’s fingertips began a slow trail down Blaine’s shoulders as he spoke, running over the smooth material of his shirt, past the crease of his elbow before grabbing his hands. Blaine knew that while his was kissing Kurt, holding Blaine’s hands was the thing that Kurt loved most. Blaine was inclined to think of the ‘touch of a fingertip’ line, but he knew that it was more than that. After years of people being afraid to touch him, Blaine taking his hand that day on the stairs had meant more to him than Blaine thought he’d ever understand.

Then Kurt was kissing him again, and when Blaine decided not to answer in favor of making a small moan, Kurt smiled against his lips.

Blaine reached behind his back for the door handle, and opened it, letting out a startled cry as Kurt’s lips disconnected from his as they fell through the doorway.

“Wow, I didn’t think that through,” Blaine said, as he pulled Kurt more steadily against himself, while flicking on the light switch at the same time. Both boys winced after the prolonged darkness of their make out session, and then they were laughing, and the tension that had been mounting ever since they had left the auditorium disappeared completely.

“I’m taking your lack of brain power right now as a compliment,” Kurt said with a smile, reaching up to fix his perfectly styled hair, which Blaine had yet to have the chance to run his fingers through. He would have to correct that.

“Why don’t you put a movie in, and we can watch something for a while,” Blaine said, releasing Kurt in favor of taking his hand, and leading him to the living room. “I’ll get us something to drink. There’s no rush tonight, you know.”

Kurt’s smiled at him, before turning to look at the selection of movies next to the television, and Blaine made his escape to the kitchen. He needed to collect his thoughts without the distraction of Kurt’s lips, and arms, and fingers.

Blaine knew that Kurt was very successful at hiding his emotions, but it seemed like this was something that he wanted. Before the whole Scandals fiasco, Kurt had been the one broaching the sex subject. It seemed like this was on his mind long before Blaine had his drunken outburst. This, clearly, was Blaine’s problem. He had done the exact same thing before he and Kurt had started dating; he convinced himself that Kurt didn’t need a boyfriend, and even after his shameless flirting during Teenage Dream, when he discovered how fragile Kurt was, he backed off in favor of the mentor role. Kurt had told Blaine that he was okay, and if Blaine had of listened, maybe they would have started dating much earlier. But Blaine was always anticipating someone’s actions, never listening to them. Those years in public school had taught him that.

Now, though, Blaine had to listen to Kurt. His boyfriend had told him explicitly that he was ready, and here he was, sitting in his kitchen, looking for ways to talk himself out of this.

There was no getting around it; Blaine Anderson was going to lose his virginity.

Blaine was feeling much more at ease now that they were in such familiar territory; in the past few months, Kurt and Blaine had hardly ever gotten through a full movie without becoming side tracked by each other’s lips, kissing furiously until the sound of Burt’s footsteps down the hall forced them apart, suddenly becoming incredibly invested in the plot of the movie playing on the screen.

There would be no interruptions now, though. No training one ear on the door at all times, no keeping their moans soft, and most importantly, no reason to stop here. Blaine groaned as Kurt flicked his tongue against his upper lip, and Blaine, in a daring move if he said so himself, pushed himself up so he was now straddling Kurt. Kurt froze only for a second before reaching up to place his hands against Blaine’s waist, sliding one up his back to tangle in the few curls coming loose from their gel at the base of his head. Blaine moaned into the kiss, and felt the familiar panic rising as he felt himself begin to harden, fighting the instinct to roll off of Kurt and make an excuse about this really great part of the movie.

He doubted Kurt would have allowed such a move anyway, as he began pulling Blaine closer, sucking Blaine’s bottom lip into his mouth and making Blaine push himself even further into Kurt’s chest. Blaine then returned the favor by licking over Kurt’s top lip, making Kurt drop his hands slightly to Blaine’s lower back, as if he wanted to grab Blaine’s ass, but couldn’t bring himself to.

Blaine moved his attention to Kurt’s neck now, and began sucking on the skin right under his ear, moving down in a wet trail. As Blaine reached his pulse point, he gave a small bite, making Kurt cry out and buck his hips ever so slightly up against Blaine’s.

Wow. Even in their most intense make out sessions they had never progressed to grinding, in fact, keeping their hips apart as much as allowed. Blaine knew his reason was simply safety. He did not want to freak Kurt out with his arousal, and he was sure that the space was a comfort to Kurt. Now, however, the need for this was completely taken away, and Kurt was initiating it.

Blaine froze up for only a second, pulling back to look at Kurt, whose eyes were wide with surprise at his own actions, before sweeping down to put his mouth against Kurt’s again with even more enthusiasm, pushing himself down to meet Kurt’s hips. There he could feel it, the line of Kurt’s cock against his own, which had hardened completely at Kurt’s little thrust, meeting his only slight movements.

“You. Are. So. Hot.” Blaine whispered against Kurt’s lips, as Kurt’s movements got more and more bold.

Kurt’s only answer was a stream of high, breathless moans that Blaine had already vowed to memorize. As their movement started becoming more erratic, Blaine stilled his hips, and looked up at Kurt, who still had his hands placed on Blaine’s lower back.

Kurt’s eyes opened to look at him, and Blaine was immediately taken aback at how dark they were. Blaine had never seen Kurt look quite so disheveled before; he loved it.

“Do you want to go upstairs?” Blaine asked, his voice coming out low and gravely, surprising him with just how turned on he sounded. Kurt must have been surprised too, because his eyes went wide and a shy smile appeared on his face before he nodded. Blaine quickly climbed off of Kurt, and pulled him up from the couch, becoming very aware of his erection being pressed awkwardly in his pants.

Before he could overthink things, Blaine began leading Kurt up the stairs to his bedroom.

When they entered the room, however, Blaine could feel a change in Kurt. Where the couch was comfortable, Blaine’s bed was almost unknown territory, and what they were about to do seemed to press against them, making Blaine want to laugh nervously, if just to diffuse the awkwardness.

Kurt released his hand, and made his way to stand against one of the walls, seeming to shrink in on himself, but countered his actions when his lowered voice said, “I brought a condom.”

Blaine had stocked up too, doing the awkward store run when Kurt had initiated that sex conversation, but he smiled at Kurt nonetheless. “Great,” he said, before moving closer to Kurt and taking his hand again. “You sure about this?” he asked before he could stop himself. Then he winced; he promised himself he wouldn’t keep up the constant questions, but he had to hear it one more time.

“Yes, Blaine, are you sure?” Kurt’s expression was determined now, and when Blaine nodded his affirmation, Kurt took a deep breath and brought his lips to Blaine’s once more. The kiss was very sweet, a contrast to their dirty kisses downstairs, but soon Blaine was pushing Kurt into the wall he was leaning against, and began mirroring Kurt’s own actions from outside earlier.

He pulled back, and started leading Kurt back towards his bed, but stopped just next to it.

“Maybe we should, um,” Blaine hesitated, and then rushed through his words, “take off a few layers.” His reference fell a bit flat, given their discomfort, but he persevered. “Can I take off your shirt?” Blaine asked.

Kurt nodded, but instead moved his hands to Blaine’s shirt. “You first, though,” he said, lifting the material.

Blaine thought he should probably be self-conscious standing there half naked in front of Kurt, but he only felt anticipation, and a sense of openness between them. Kurt was going to see a part of Blaine that no one had seen; he was going to share that with him. Blaine brought his hands up to the buttons on Kurt’s vest, and Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath as Blaine removed that, and then the shirt underneath that. When he was completely bare under Blaine’s gaze, his eyes drank in the smooth planes of Kurt’s chest.

“You’re gorgeous,” he whispered, as he dropped his lips to kiss the shoulder that was always hidden under layers of material. With renewed confidence, Blaine pulled back and sat on the bed, gesturing for Kurt to join him. When he did, Blaine started kissing him, rolling himself on top of Kurt, who quickly moved to the side and sat up.

“Is something wrong?” Blaine asked quickly, trying not to let his nerves show through.

“No, I just-,” Kurt turned his head away from Blaine, looking to the door, and then returned his gaze a second later, pulling a condom out of his pocket. “This-we’ll need this,” he said, in an almost relieved voice.

“Right,” Blaine replied, moving along his bed to reach into his drawer, pulling out the new bottle of lube he had bought. “This too, I guess,” he said a bit awkwardly. He hadn’t asked Kurt what position he wanted to be in yet; Blaine wasn’t opposed to anything, and was more than willing to top or bottom depending on what Kurt felt most comfortable with. He was gearing himself up to ask, but stopped when he saw Kurt’s expression.

Kurt’s eyes were large as he took in the small display now sitting on top of Blaine’s drawer, but he shifted back onto the pillows and lay down, looking at Blaine and taking a deep breath as he said, “Come here; kiss me.”

Blaine moved forward until he was over Kurt again, and began kissing him, trying his hardest to get across what he was feeling, how happy he was that this was going to happen with Kurt, and he must have succeeded because he could feel Kurt arching up into him, running his hands up and down Blaine’s back, touching the newly exposed muscles. Blaine groaned and pushed his hips into Kurt’s, resuming the rhythm that they had started downstairs. It wasn’t enough, though; in face of what Blaine knew was to come, he had to go further, he had to touch Kurt.

He braced himself on his legs, and ran his hands down Kurt’s chest, until he reached the very fine trail of hair below Kurt’s navel, and allowed himself the chance to run his fingers through it. Kurt broke away from Blaine’s lips and looked toward the condom and lube, but otherwise didn’t move. 

“Can I?” Blaine asked, bringing his hands to the button of Kurt’s jeans, and when Kurt nodded, he undid it, and pulled the zipper down before reaching his hand in and palming the bulge. Kurt couldn’t muffle the cry that he let out at the contact, and threw his head back. Blaine, however, was transfixed as he felt the cock under his hand harden even more at his movements, and brought his hand up to pull down the briefs blocking his view. He got one look at the swollen head of Kurt’s cock, and had to wrap his hand around it. He moved his hand down the length, giving an experimental twist before Kurt was pulling away, jumping off the bed at an alarming speed.

“Stop!” he shouted, before a look of horror crossed his face. Suddenly he was doing up his jeans, and grabbing his shirt from the pile on the floor. “I’m so sorry, Blaine, I wanted to, I swear, but you were touching me and I didn’t know what to do, and I can’t-,” his voice broke on the last word, and Blaine couldn’t tell what expression was on his own face. He was frozen on the bed, watching as Kurt wheeled around and ran out of the door. He could hear a sob come from the hall, before the front door slammed shut; and Blaine was still frozen.