What If?

         Chapter 21- Follow Your Dream

          Kurt was standing outside Blaine's apartment hoping to be able to make Blaine understand what he meant when he was talking to Mr. Andrews about the male lead in the play he offered Kurt and then turned down. Kurt knocked on the door but no one answered. “Blaine, it's me Kurt. Open up please, we need to talk. Blaine, I'm not going anywhere. I'll wait out here until you open the door.”Kurt yelled as he slid down the door waiting for Blaine to let him in. Blaine didn't want to deal with this situation tonight. He never wanted to be the one to stop Kurt from reaching his dreams and that belief had kept them apart for many years and it may again. It doesn't sound like Kurt is going to go away without speaking to Blaine so decides to tell Kurt to leave. Blaine walks to the door of his apartment and hears Kurt saying he is going to wait. “Kurt, you need to go home I need some time.” Blaine tells Kurt. “No way Jose, I gave you two years of my time while I waited for you I'm not giving you any more time until we talk so just unlock the door and let me in.” Kurt says as he stands waiting to be let in. Blaine rubs his face with his hands and unlocks the door but doesn't open it. Kurt heard the door being unlocked but not opened. He finally turns the doorknob and pushes the door open and walks in looking for Blaine.

          Kurt walks into the living room and sees Blaine looking out the window with his arms wrapped around him. Kurt walks over to him and wraps his arms around him and places his head on his shoulder and whispers. “I love you Blaine. Please don't push me away again.” Kurt turns Blaine around so he can see his face and is pained to see that Blaine's eyes are swollen and red because of him. “Come here and let's sit down and straighten this situation out.” Kurt says as he leads Blaine to the couch. “Why did you leave without talking to me? I know you were there because Rachael told me she let you in and I saw the beautiful flowers and card that you brought for me. Thank you they were lovely by the way.” Kurt tells Blaine as Blaine puts his head on his knees and wraps his arms around his legs. “Blaine, tell me what I did that has got you tied up in knots. Talk to me, you can tell me anything.” Kurt says as he rubs Blaine's back trying to get him to talk.

“Kurt” Blaine says as he stands up and walks back to the window and stares out the window. “I'm sorry I shouldn't have left. I guess bad habits are hard to break. I heard you talking to someone when Rachael let me into the loft so I just sat on a kitchen chair and was going to wait for you to finish. I was so excited for you when I figured out that you were being offered the lead in a play and how it was a dream of yours. But then I heard you turn it down and you told the person the reason why was because you couldn't leave me. I can never be the reason you don't follow your dream Kurt. I can't handle that guilt. So you need to take that role and follow your dream.” Blaine explains to Kurt.

“When will you get it in your head Blaine that my number one dream is to be with you? I dream about us building a future together and being there for each other and growing old together. I thought that was your dream too. Am I wrong? I guess you don't want to be with me and build our future together.” Kurt tells Blaine.

“I have a question for you. If I was still in California would you have taken the part?” Blaine turns and looks at Kurt directly in the eye waiting for an answer.

“I don't know. That is not the reality Blaine. You are in New York City.” Kurt says.

“You can't even be honest with me but you want me to be honest with you. I'll answer the question for you Kurt. You would have taken the role without a second thought because it's your dream coming true. If you don't take this role you will always wonder what if. Could I do it? Would I have been a star? What would people think of me? You would eventually resent me because I stopped you from living your dream. Why can't you see that? I'm not a child you need to babysit. If you had told me about the offer I would have supported you and we would have figured out a plan but you didn't think we could. Instead you made the decision that you couldn't because you couldn't leave me alone. Well guess what Kurt? I'm leaving New York City at the end of my contract. Sorry I didn't talk to you about it. I guess I am acting like the child you think I am. Now I am asking you to leave and go call Mr. Andrews and accept the role you were offered and follow your dream.” Blaine tells Kurt sternly.

“Blaine, I will leave so you can have some time to calm down and start thinking straight. But we are not done talking. I turned down the role because I didn't want to be away from you that long. I didn't want to be away from the man I love but if you can't understand that without going off the deep end maybe you are the child who hasn't grown up yet. My Dad asked me once, when was I going to take control of my life and lead it the way I think was right instead of it always being run the way you think I should. I guess I am taking control of my life right now, so deal with it.” Kurt says as he leaves the apartment and slams the door. Tears are running down his face because he has no idea what is going to happen between him and Blaine.

Kurt gets back to the loft and calls his Dad and tells him about what happened. “Kurt, ever since you were in high school you dreamed about playing a leading man in a Broadway play. You talked about how hard it would be because you were gay and you didn't think it was fair. Kurt there is only one question you need to ask yourself and you need to be honest. Do you want the part in the play?” Burt asks Kurt. He thinks about it for a second and finally says yes. “Then go and get it and follow your dream. Call Mr. Andrews and tell him you changed your mind.” Burt tells his son. “Thanks Dad, I'll call him as soon as I call Blaine and tell him I was an idiot. Talk to you soon and I love you.” Kurt says as he ends the call and dials Blaine's number but Blaine doesn't answer. He calls Mr. Andrews and says. “Mr. Andrews this is Kurt Hummel and I have been thinking about your offer and if you haven't recast it I would love to play the role.” Kurt informs him. “Kurt, what are you talking about? I received a call earlier from a man named Jackson Collins telling me would accept the role. Do you know that man?” He asks. “Yes I do. I just didn't know he had contacted you. So I have the role correct?” Kurt asks. “Yes you do and I would like to meet with you in a few days to go over your contract and schedule.” Mr. Andrews explains. “Thank you sir and I will make you proud you chose me.” Kurt says and ends the call realizing that Blaine made JC call Mr. Andrews. He calls Blaine again but it goes to voice mail. “Blaine, I need to talk to you because I owe you an apology and a big thank you.” Kurt says and lies down on his bed with a big smile on his face because he is chasing a dream.