What If?

                   Chapter 11 – Christmas

Kurt wakes up early and decides to get up and make some sweet rolls and coffee for everyone, after all it is Christmas morning. Kurt doesn't really care because he is not feeling joyful or excited about this day. It will be a sad Christmas for Kurt without seeing or talking to Blaine today.

In California it is dark out and most people are sound asleep, except Blaine who is wide awake thinking about Kurt. He knows Kurt is unhappy because of the choices he has made. Blaine rolls over and looks at his clock, it reads 3 a.m. “This day is going to last forever.” Blaine moans. “I bet he is up and making sweet rolls and coffee for everyone. Stop it Blaine! You are only making it worse.” He yells to himself trying to think about something, or someone else.

Kurt passes the sweet rolls to Burt. I'll allow you to eat one sweet roll because it's Christmas.” Kurt jokes, but Burt can see the pain Kurt is in though he is trying to hide it and act like he is happy. Finn and Rachael come in the front door after Finn has picked her up talking loudly about the weather as they are cold and snow is on their coats. They finish breakfast and sit down in the living room to open gifts. They laugh and enjoy themselves as they open their gifts, curious to see what they each received. After a while Kurt starts gathering up his gifts and thanking everyone again and comments. “These gifts will come in very handy in New York City.” He carries his gifts upstairs so he can open the gift he has wanted to open for days. “How is Kurt?” Finn asks Burt.”He's hurting Finn I won't lie and there isn't anything we can do to make him feel better.” Burt says feeling helpless.

Blaine has moved to the living room to watch a movie, but he has no idea what the plot is because his mind is 2,000 miles away. Suddenly, Blaine is knocked in the head by a pillow thrown by Cooper. “Merry Christmas Squirt” He shouts as he tackles and tickles Blaine. “I told you not to call me by that name Coop.” Blaine yells at Coop as he wiggles out of Cooper's grasp. “Blaine what are you doing out here? Let me guess. You can't sleep because you are thinking about what Kurt is doing. Am I right? You don't have to answer that question because it's written all over your face Blaine.” Coop says as Blaine gets up off the floor and sits back down on the couch. Cooper walks over to the small Christmas tree in the corner of the room and picks up the box with a red bow stuck to it. “Blaine, I got you this gift and I want you to open it now.” Coop tells Blaine.

“He's been up in his room for a couple of hours Carol.” Burt says worried about his son. “Burt, if you are that concerned go upstairs and check on him.” Carol tells him as she leads him to the stairs and gives him a little push up the stairs. Burt stands outside Kurt's bedroom and takes a deep breath as he knocks on the door and asks. “Kurt, are you alright? Can I come in?” Burt waits until he hears Kurt say. “Yes, you can come in Dad.” Burt opens the door and sees Kurt lying on his bed with a paper tightly held in his hand. His swollen red eyes tell him Kurt has been crying for a while. “We miss you kid, why don't you come downstairs and hang out with us for a while? It would get your mind off him.” Burt suggests to his son. “I would be lousy company and bring you all down.” Kurt answers as he looks at the paper in his hand. “What is that?” Burt asks as he walks closer to Kurt's bed. “When I ran up to Blaine's room after John had told me he had left I found this envelope addressed to me on his bed. On the envelope he had written Do Not Open Until Christmas. So when I came upstairs I opened the envelope and he had written me this letter. Placed in the folded letter was this puzzle piece.” Kurt says as he shows his Dad the puzzle piece. “I assume that means something between the two of you.” Burt says waiting for an explanation hoping Kurt will talk to him. “The first song I ever heard Blaine sing was Teenage Dream.” Kurt says. “I remember you saying something about hearing that song when you came home from spying that day.” Burt comments. “In the song there are lyrics that say ‘I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece, now I am complete' so he gave me this because I am his missing puzzle piece. I used to make him complete. Maybe I will again one day.” Kurt shares with his Dad as he rubs the puzzle piece with his fingers while he stares at the precious gift. “If it's alright can I read the letter?” Burt asks interested to read what Blaine had written to Kurt, especially since it was written after their conversation. He hands Burt the letter and Burt notices the tear stains that are on the letter.

My Dearest Kurt,

Merry Christmas! Kurt, I know this is not the Christmas you expected to be having when you left New York City. I am positive you imagined you would find me in my room waiting for you to arrive. Then we would have a painful but heartfelt conversation that would solve all our problems and straighten everything out. Then we would celebrate Christmas together as one big happy family. I know you are hurting right now and I am the reason why. I love you Kurt Hummel, in fact I love you too much if that is possible. I have included a puzzle piece and I know you understand why. The puzzle is of my heart and you have the piece that is missing, the piece that will complete me. I hope someday my heart will stop hurting and it will heal to the point that I want to take a chance to love again and not be afraid of being hurt. That you will see that I have grown up into the kind of man you deserve and are proud of. Maybe if I'm lucky I will find my missing puzzle piece and I will be whole again. But until that day happens, if ever Kurt, you need to live your life and experience everything that life has to offer without me. We'll see where the future takes us whether together or seperate. Until then remember I will love until the end of time.

                                                Love,

                                                Blaine

“He loves you Kurt. You two have a special bond that few people are lucky enough to share. So I suggest you just do what he asks and give him some time. I think he his is worth the wait.” Burt tells as he hands the letter back to Kurt. So come and wash your face and comb your hair and come downstairs and start living. We'll challenge the others to a game of Trivial Pursuit before we have dinner.” Burt says as he helps Kurt up from his bed and gives him a hug.

After beating Finn, Rachael, and Carol in Trivial Pursuit they start putting the final touches on their Christmas dinner. Carol and Kurt are heating up the vegetables and mashing the potatoes. Finn and Rachael are setting the table as Burt is carving the turkey as Christmas Carols can be heard in the background. The doorbell rings and everyone looks at each other expecting someone to answer the door. “I'll get it.” Finn finally says as he answers the door. He comes back into the kitchen and says “Kurt, some kid just gave me this card to give to you.” Finn says as he sets it down on the counter and continues to help Rachael. They sit down at the table and start to eat dinner when Burt accidently drops his fork on the floor. He gets up to rinse his fork off and notices the card on the counter. “Here Kurt you forgot to open this card.” He says as he hands it to Kurt. He opens the card while Rachael is talking about the classes she is taking at NYADA when they see Kurt rush out of his chair with card in hand and he's running out the front door with no explanation. “What's going on Burt says as he follows Kurt to the front door and looks outside but doesn't see anyone. He closes the door and comes back to the table. “Is he alright Burt? Do you think you should go after him?” Carol asks. “No, I think he will be fine.” Burt smirks, as he thinks he knows what is going on.

Kurt is running down the street as fast as he can with tears streaming down his eyes. “Be there, please be there.” He says to himself over and over. He gets to the park and sees someone standing under the bare oak tree with their arms wrapped around themselves. He runs towards the person and as he gets closer he sees the person has spotted him and turns toward the running Kurt. He finally sees the eyes that he has be dreaming about for weeks as he tackles the person to the ground that is covered with soft snow. He kisses the person on the mouth with so much passion it could melt the snow.

“You are here! You're here right, I'm not dreaming.” Kurt says with so much joy he doesn't even feel the cold as he climbs off Blaine who is slowly gets up off of the ground. Kurt left the house so quickly he forgot to put on a coat and is only wearing a long sleeve shirt and sweatshirt out in this freezing weather. “Kurt, you must be freezing, why didn't you wear your coat?” Blaine asks. “It doesn't matter. I'm not cold anyway. You're here, that's all that matters to me.” Kurt smiles happily. “You won't think that when you get pneumonia and your Dad kills me.” Blaine says as Kurt wraps his arms around himself. “Come on Blaine. Let's go back to my house and we can eat and then …. “Kurt, stop talking for a second, you need to listen to me for a minute.” Blaine interrupts. “I'm not back here to stay. I need to explain something to you before you get too excited and jump to the wrong conclusions. Coop gave me this trip back to Lima as my Christmas gift. He knew I would be miserable today so he told me to come back to Lima and spend a few days here with you. He said I could start building my future after the holidays and that I should be happy for a while. I shouldn't worry about the past or the future but simply to enjoy the present with my best friend. So I agreed to come back to Lima but Kurt nothing has changed between us, come January you will be in New York City and I will be living in L.A. pursuing our own dreams, following our own paths by ourselves, do you understand? Don't take me being here as meaning we are back together because we are not. This is simply us spending some time together. If you can accept my visit as what it is then I will stay.” Blaine explains. “Kurt, can we just spend some time together and hang out as friends? I don't want you to get hurt by getting your hopes up.” Blaine says concerned. “Blaine, it will be like old times when we were just friends. These few days we have together can remind us of what we have and how great it is when we are together. So I would love to spend some days hanging out with you as friends. Now, it is freezing out here and I am starving now. How about we go back to the house and enjoy Christmas dinner together like the family we are?” Kurt asks with a smile. The boys quickly walk back to the house and when they enter they are welcomed with cheers and hugs and it feels so right their family home for Christmas.