Blaine locked the heavy oak door almost immediately upon entrance, tugging aggressively at his tie until it slipped free of its half-Windsor knot. "I fucking hate it.." He grumbled as he threw the tie aside, hitting the wall with a smack. "I hate it, I hate everything..." Blaine slipped the blazer over his head, knowing that hed damage it if he tried unbuttoning it.

"Why cant you just stop!?" He almost sobbed, refusing to let the acid tears boil over, forcing them back though it stung the tired hazel eyes. The shoes came off next, each launched towards the pillows resting upon the tidy bed, allowing the anger to be exerted quietly.

"I wanted to feel happy, I wanted to have a good day..." Blaine growled, tugging at his gelled hair in frustration, not caring that it stuck every which way now. "Singing was supposed to make me happy— Why wont you let me be happy!?" He broke. The tears ran down his flushed cheeks while he slumped to his bathroom, closing the door after flipping on the light switch.

Blaine tried to be better, but he always ended up slipping. It was his own fault for allowing his emotions to take control, but Blaine failed again. He used the back of his wrist to clear his blurry vision, then began fumbling through drawers as he sniffled. Part of Blaine screamed this would only make things worse, but the other whispered it was only fair.

"Just one cut, Blaine. Thatll do for tonight." A gentle demon swayed as Blaine ran his fingers along the purple pencil box, hesitating to open it. "Its not your fault youre destined for such failure. Go ahead, open it." The drawer remained open while the metal tin was carefully opened, hazel eyes catching a wink from the razor that stood out from the other tools Blaine had to choose from.

"You dont have to cut that deep, Blaine." Blaine was gently reminded, his insides cringing from imagining the deeper feeling. "Start out slow—try the safety pin. Some silly scratches is nothing to feel ashamed over." He sniffled and set the tin down, carefully digging out the silver safety pin from the other sharp objects, laughing lightly at why he bothered. There was pain to come anyways.

"Now, Blaine. Where shall we start? Your wrists and arms are such a selfish place for such practices— This isnt something were doing for attention, now is it?" Blaine paused, frowning as he hung his head and began to unbutton the collared shirt.

"Oh, now wait. Youre just giving yourself more trouble when you have to change for gym. Try again." Blaine clamped tight his eyes, his silent tears diving to the tile floor with a splash.

There wasnt anywhere Blaine could think that wouldnt be a selfish cry for attention.

"You know there are other options if youre too afraid of others." Temptation protested, enticing him to search through another drawer, digging past the hair gel for a bag of poison rattles.

"There isnt a reason in the world you should let those pills go to waste. Theyd sit there lonely, anyways." Blaine sighed softly, digging through the orange containers with past medications he was prescribed, abandoned after new doses or other drugs were ordered.

"Your parents have flushed their well-earned wages down the drain for you, and you only continue to waste their time and money." It spat impatiently.

"Theyve paid for this safe-haven resort for you to receive an education they thought you deserved, even though that hospital visit was your own fault, Blaine." A soft whimper was released at the hurtful reminder of the events that took place after the Sadie Hawkins dance.

"Have you ever thought about how that boy is coping after your date together in the ER? Did you ever stop to think that he might be struggling too? That he doesnt have the privilege to transfer schools like you?" The darkness continued to criticize sharply, beating Blaine down to a sob.

"Stop! Please—"

"Have you ever thought of anything other than yourself?!"

"—Leave me alone! Go! Go a—"

"Your well-being isnt important, Blaine! There are people worse off than you! You have no right to be depressed!"

Blaine sunk against his door, pill containers still held in each hand as he was beaten down by the truth inside his head. "Sto-op, pl-please..." He hiccuped pitifully, whimpering out a sob.

"The world wont stop spinning without you, Blaine. And itll keep spinning even when you whine and complain about your feelings."

Blaine released a long whine, shaking his head at how pathetic he sounded. He looked down at the labels of the bottles in his hands, the open wounds of some of his fingers beginning to bleed slightly.

"Its selfish to die a burden, and its selfish to live as one— Youll have to pick which one youd rather be."

The capsules and tablets clattered as Blaine tilted them in thought, wondering which one would grant his well earned death.

"You can give up, or suffer like everyone else in the world..." It provoked Blaine further. "Youre nothing special. Youre a pest among the rest, and whatever silly dream you sung and wished for your future wont matter in the end. Just because you think you have potential for a successful future, doesnt mean youre an exception right now. Youre still a nobody, and youll always be weaker than the—"

Blaine stopped listening and uncapped the bottle, not bothering to read which one he opened and poured its contents into his hand. He heard his name being called, but Blaine wasnt listening. His hands were shaking as he stared at the purple and yellow capsules, blinking away the pesky tears. His name continued to be called out, overlapping the other in a tangled mass of turmoil tumbling through his mind.

"SHUT UP!" He finally exploded, and an eerie silence lingered densely in the air. Blaine held his breath, closing his eyes as the muffled sobs pounded for escape against his chest.

"Blaine..." A smooth voice called again, Blaine slowly recognizing who it belonged to and willed his head back up, tears trapped in his long lashes when Blaine revealed a shameful pair of hazel eyes.

"Im sorry..." Blaine whispered, gently guided to set aside the pills and decided to worry about the mess later.

"No need to, Blaine." The sweet voice smiled, offering comfort to the lost teen.

Blaine shook his head as his bottom lip began to quiver. "I dont want to keep living like this! Im trying to change, I really am.." He whimpered, voice higher as he tried to keep from breaking down again.

"I believe you, Blaine. I see how hard you struggle every day to battle those troubled thoughts away." The heavenly voice comforted, and Blaine was taken into its arms in a safe embrace. "It must be tiring, trying to keep them away on your own."

"But Im not on my own," Blaine sniffled, allowing himself to relax and close his eyes as he was carried to bed. "I have you, Kurt."

"Only when you let me help you, Blaine." He responded gently, moving the shoes from the bed and set them on the floor so he could pull back the sheets for Blaine to settle beneath.

"I didnt think about..." Blaine began, stopping with a frown as he was placed comfortably in bed, his warm, blotchy skin finding relief against the cool sheets. "When the bad thoughts take over, everything good is twisted and they backfire..." He explained quietly as Kurt tucked him in. "Its not that I dont want you to, its just that I almost forget you.." Blaine turned to see Kurt slipping into bed beside him with a fond smile, and he huffed a little when he couldnt find the right words. "I think its because you could never be bad, Kurt.. So in a way, its a good thing.. Right?.."

Kurt laughed lightly, stroking through Blaines hair, still stiff from styling it before school. "Im only here for you, Blaine. Ill always be good, so Im not afraid of the bad that plagues your mind." He answered in a melodic voice that always put Blaine at ease.

Blaine smiled at that, the knot that held tight at his gut soothed gently to uncoil. "Thank you, Kurt. I dont know how I got so lucky to have you protect me." He hummed, allowing Kurts slender fingers to work free his curls.

"It wasnt luck, Blaine. Ive always been here for you, whether you realized it or not." Kurt replied, smiling at the teen. "And I always will be, if you let me."

"Well, since its Friday, I have the whole weekend free to talk to you." Blaine spoke, opening his warm eyes to meet the relieving chill of Kurts ice blue ones.

"And Ill be right here to listen." Kurt smiled back at Blaine, continuing the soothing touches.

"And to keep away the nightmares?..." Blaine asked innocently, the hint of fear in the hazel eyes reminding Kurt of the times when they were children. Blaine was even more stubborn as a child when Kurt offered his help, but with time, Kurt earned the others trust.

"And keep away the nightmares." Kurt nodded, and Blaines fears were sighed away.

They lay for a while, and Kurt hummed a gentle tune, lulling Blaine to a peaceful state, but he wasnt quite willing to sleep.

"Will you ever tell me the story of how we were matched?" Blaine murmured softly, and Kurts humming faded with a tilt of his head.

"Does it matter, either way?" Kurt asked, blinking twice at the boy.

"Well.. No, I guess not.." Blaine answered quietly, frowning a little. "But Ive grown up with you, and youve never really given any explanation of why you were sent to me, out of thousands of others who couldve used your help.."

Kurt smiled fondly, sighing a little. "The reasons do not matter, Blaine. But if it settles you to know, I was never given a reason either. Its just the way things are meant to be."

Blaine smiled at that, giving a soft laugh as his heart thumped happily, watching as the others smile grew to almost glow. "I love you."

"I love you too, Blaine." He giggled lightly, happy that Blaine did too.

"Youre my best friend, I think.." Blaine sighed, grin growing at Kurts laughter.

"You think?" Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"Well— I dont know exactly what we are.." Blaine laughed a little, beginning to blush. "Were.. Special, I guess..."

Kurt nodded. "I dont know what we are either, but I know that my purpose is to keep you safe, Blaine.. But weve had too much fun along the way not to be friends, right?"

Blaine laughed in agreement. "Were more special than friends."

"And what would that be?" Kurt questioned with a bright smile.

"I dont know. But its something that not many people are lucky enough to have." Blaine decided, and Kurt just nodded.

"Well, I guess Im lucky to have fun on the job." Kurt teased, causing Blaine to scrunch up his face.

"You love it."

"I do."

They both watched each other without a word, exchanging their feelings just by gazing into the others eyes.

"Will you always be with me?" Blaine broke the silence some minutes later, truly pondering this question.

"Yes." Kurt answered shortly.

"But isnt it lonely?" Blaine frowned slightly.

"What do you mean?.." Kurt asked, the thought never crossing his mind.

"Only being with me.. And no one else?"

Kurt shook his head slowly. "No."

Blaine nodded.

"What are you thinking about?" Kurt wondered gently.

"You."

"Me?" Kurt questioned, pointing to himself.

"Mhm." Blaine nodded, trying not to smile.

"What about me?"

"Youre an angel."

"So?" Kurt snipped, confused as to why Blaine was pointing out the obvious.

Blaine didnt reply at first, snickering at Kurts frustration. "I just wonder sometimes if I can love you." He admitted easily, smiling at the boy he could tell everything to.

"Of course you can! Why are you being silly?" Kurt squeaked, which only made Blaine giggle. "What?!"

"Nothing, youre just cute." He laughed, and Kurt raised and eyebrow that brought up Blaines original question. "Am I allowed to love you, or will I still be just a job youre stuck with until I die."

Kurt was silent.

Blaine frowned, lowering his head to rest into Kurts shoulder. "You know I hate when you deflect my questions."

"You always say hate, but I know for a fact youve never felt a single ounce of hate in your lifetime."

"Kurrrt.." Blaine whined.

"What?!" He squeaked, holding Blaine close.

Blaine sighed. "Never mind.."

Kurt thought silently what he could say to Blaine that would help him understand this. "..When I dont give you an answer you want to hear, remember I always do what is best to protect y—"

"I know youll always protect me, Kurt!" Blaine cut him off, looking up to meet the surprised blue eyes. "Weve grown up together, I dont care if youre my Guardian Angel— Youre my best friend, and I just wish it were as easy for you as it is for me..."

Kurt hadnt seen Blaine get this frustrated with him since they were ten, when Kurt kept Blaine from ice skating on the nearby lake that had frozen over in a thin layer of ice. "Whats easy for you?" Kurt questioned calmly.

"Loving you." Blaine answered simply, not looking up at Kurt anymore.

"I do love you, Blaine."

"You dont get it."

Kurt did get it. But for Blaines own good, things like that were not to happen. Theyd cause more harm then good if something were to leave Blaine heartbroken and hurt. Blaine probably wouldnt allow Kurt to help him, and then what could he do? In the past, Kurt has helped Blaine even when he throws a fit. Whether the boy realizes it or not, Blaine subconsciously allows Kurts help almost every time Kurt offers. There were times, though, when this was not the case. The Sadie Hawkins dance, for example. Blaine did not want any help from Kurt. He wanted to fight the battle himself, because instead of wanting protection, Blaine wanted to protect the boy who held his hand and danced with him shamelessly. So all Kurt was allowed to do was watch.

It was a challenge to see Blaine hurt, but this was Kurts purpose. He had to keep reminding himself that Blaine would be okay. Kurt made sure of it as he rode in the ambulance, sirens wailing as he held Blaines bloody hand that dangled from the stretcher. These were the things that Kurt knew were most crucial—The things that Blaine would never realize Kurt had protected him through. What Blaine wouldnt remember, or be awake for—Kurt would be there, holding Blaine or close nearby his bedside to keep Blaine safe from any danger.

No one would ever see things from Kurts perspective, watching events unfold, yet unable to be involved. There were things Blaine couldnt know, like the times Kurt had to hurt him. No one knew that Kurt had to shove Blaine off his bike and onto the neighbors driveway because he saw the car that Blaine didnt notice speeding towards him. Blaine suffered a broken arm and some cuts and scrapes from the hard fall, but the helmet Kurt knocked off Blaines shelf that morning saved him a concussion. The car suffered no injuries, but it was prevented from carelessly ramming into a seven-year-old Blaine.

Kurt sighed softly, frowning at the boy he did love with all his heart. And Blaines brows furrowed in the cutest of ways.

"Blaine?" Kurt whispered softly.

"Yes, Kurt?" He hushly echoed.

"I love you more than youll ever know, and thats not some riddle for you to ponder like you always assume." Kurt said bluntly with a faint smile that sometimes Blaine accused Kurt as being smart.

Blaine gave a whine, but gave in with a smile. "I love you too, Kurt." He spoke with a genuine smile. "More than you think you know."

They both laughed.