Blaine Anderson Cried as he looked at the text message on his phone, it was from Kurt Hummel is boyfriend. "Hey baby Happy thanksgiving! I just left the apartment and heading to the airport right now. I can't wait to be in your arms again I have missed you so much. I will see you in a few hours. I love you so much baby, Love Kurt" Blaine stared at the text and just cried his eyes out that text was sent two months ago. He cried because Kurt never made it home that Thanksgiving, he died in a car accident on the way to the airport.

Blaine Walked into the kitchen with a huge smile on his face. He sat down at the kitchen table still grinning like an idiot when his mom walked into the kitchen."Hi honey, I would ask if Kurt is coming home, but from the huge smile on your face I take it as a yes." She smiled as she sat down at the table next to him. He blushed slightly he's parents as well as everyone knew how hard the last couple of months had been on him. After Kurt's graduation even though he did not make it into NYADA he decide to take a career change and still go to new York but instead peruse a career as a fashion designer. It had been four long months since he had actually seen and touched his boyfriend. Sure they still texted and Skype when ever Kurt got the chance,but it did not replace the wanting to touch and kiss his boyfriend when ever he wanted. Still blushing Blaine just nodded his head yes, "He sent me a text a couple of hours ago he said he was on his way to the airport. Once he lands in Lima He has to stop off at home to drop off his stuff first but then he is coming straight over here afterwards." "That's great honey, I know how much you have been missing him, hell anyone with eyes can see that." She smiled at him,her eyes reminded him of Kurt's, so full of kindness love. His mother could care less her son was Gay unlike his father. Who thank god was no longer a problem anymore. After his several failed attempts to turn his son straight, the last one being the summer they spent rebuilding the Chevy in their driveway he just took with no explanation what so ever. His mother jumped out of her chair to answer the phone as it rang. "Hello." Blaine drowned out what his mother was saying all he could think about was his Kurt. Like how he was going to kiss him the second he walked through the door, how they would make sweet love like it was their first time all over. How they would cuddle and just stare at each other after they made love. He was pulled out of his thoughts by his mother who looked like she was crying. "What's wrong?" He asked worried maybe it was his Grandmother she had been in and out of the hospital the last couple of months. She had been having some heart troubles. She just walked over to him and hugged him before saying, "That was Burt Hummel." Confused by this she continued. "It...it was about Kurt. His...his...his dead Blaine." Blaine felt his heart sink this could not be happening, this was not happening and that this was some kind of sick joke. He had heard from Kurt not more the a couple of hours ago. His mother pulled him even closer into the hug. She continued like she had not even noticed Blaine had stopped hugging her. "He was on his way to the airport and the Taxi he was in got hit by a Drunk Driver. He was pronounced dead at the scene. I am so sorry honey." She sobbed into his shoulder, she had loved Kurt just like a son. Blaine felt like someone had ripped his heart out and stomped on it over and over and over again. Blaine pulled away way more calmly then he should have with tears still in his eyes he walked to his bedroom shut the door and locked it.

It remained that way for two months with him only coming out for school and Kurt's Funeral. They flew his body back to Lima to be buried next to his mother Elizabeth. Other then that Blaine barley left his room, he hardly eat anything, he rarely talk to anyone, he totally withdrew from the world. Sure his mother noticed but she just left him to his grief and hoped he would soon get over it in his own way. His teachers and friends hardly noticed he stopped caring about how he dressed, he stopped gelling his hair. He would often going to school with giant afro of curls. He stopped auditioning for solos in glee club, he stopped hanging out with his friends. He started cutting, not deep enough to do any real damage but deep enough to numb the pain he was feeling. The first Time was after Kurt's Funeral, the stress was just to much to handle. He didn't even have the courage to go up to the casket and look inside. He felt like such a coward, after all the times he had told Kurt Courage he could not even go up and say good bye to the love of his life. He came straight home and scared his body with cuts The first time seeing the blood flow from the cuts on his arms were like a high and there was a little ray of hope that everything just might be ok. But everything was not ok....Because here he was two months later still crying over that text message, the last thing Kurt had ever said to him. It was never going to get better because Kurt was gone and there was nothing he could do about it. The pain was just as fresh as the day it happened, and cutting did not seem to numb the pain anymore. At first it silenced and numbed the pain he was feeling but the more and more he cut the deeper he had to go and the more cuts he had to make to make it go away. Everyday it felt like his heart shattered all over again. He relived the pain over again everyday, he just could not take it anymore. He grab a notebook and pen off his desk and quickly wrote his mother.

Mom I am sorry I have to do this to you, I just wanted to let you know that none of this is your fault and there is nothing you could have done to stop me. I can't live on like this anymore the pain I live everyday is not worth it. I can't live without the other part of my soul. I love you tell Cooper I love him too. Love your son Blaine.

He left it there and grabbed his iPod still crying he slowly made his way to the bathroom. He closed and locked the door behind him. Without even glancing in the mirror he grabbed his razor off the shelf behind his hair care products. The tip glistened in the light, and the blade called out to him. He smiled knowing fully well what he was getting ready to do. He found the perfect song on his IPod and gently set it down on the counter. The song began

'I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone'

He made the first cut over the top of dozens of other scares, he watched as the blood ran down his arm and slowly dripped on to the floor.

'These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase'

He continued to make cuts all over his arms and torso. Not counting as he went along, not worrying about how deep he was going, because none of it matted. Nothing mattered anymore.

'When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me You used to captivate me by your resonating light Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me'

He finally only stopped when he started to get dizzy, he fell to the floor and watched the razor covered in his blood fall next to him. He waited for the end to come, he would welcome it like an old friend. Because the pain of living without his soul mate his Kurt was much worse then this.

'I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along'

The last thing he remembered before falling into comforting darkness was his mother screaming and crying for 911 to hurry up and get there.

'When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me, me, me.'