The next three week's of lessons pass by quickly, everyone working their asses off and feeling completely exhausted by the end. Since learning the strongest and weakest points of my power, I'm determined to become stronger. Especially when I was told that my weakness is emotion – if I let my emotions get in the way, it could be a huge risk for something to go wrong, for me to get hurt. I'm glad I was told my weakness however because now I can use it to my advantage and make it stronger. Most of my lessons now consist of being trained to control these emotions. I seem to excel on controlling the happy and excited feelings fine but when it comes to hurt, sadness and anger, I find it a lot harder.
Coming from a place where, in the past, whenever I felt these things, I would shift to hide my pain, run away to take my anger and lash out on an object, like a tree, for the hurt makes controlling it harder – what I used to do is second nature to me and now it all has to change. 

As well as feeling drained from my lessons, I am also feeling drained from Blaine. I really don't understand him - one moment he'll be chatty and completely normal like he is whenever we're around other people, then we'll get back to our room and he turns into a flirting monster. I'm tired of the mixed signals he's sending. I don't know if he likes me or not, if he's doing this for pure entertainment and for his own gain.
Of course, this isn't helping with control my emotions. I really like him, and just thinking of the possibility that it's him playing a game hurts and angers me. Since I haven't quite got the hang of my emotions yet, I still change shape – but to a small, domestic dog now, instead of a wolf, wandering around, trying to clear my head. 

Something that's been happening, that no-one knows about, is a group of boys from the Hades dorm have been giving me looks – they're familiar looks, like the ones bullies used to give me. I'm choosing to ignore it, avoiding them as much as I can.
So here I am, Saturday afternoon, trying to avoid everyone, for different, specific reason.
Rachel and her persistent questions about me and Blaine, Tina and her questions about my powers, Blaine because of his flirting, those douche bags from Hades to stay safe and everyone else because I don't really feel like talking to anyone right now. 
And here I am. I've been sat in the old school library for the past four hours, enjoying not being interrupted and I know that there is no-one here; most people tend to like the new library, full of computers and new technology. I personally like the old books, full of adventures and mystery that I can lose myself in. I've been losing myself in books a lot lately. 
I look at my watch and decide I really should be heading back to my room now. Sighing and silently wishing that my life was like a good novel, meaning even if you encounter trouble, everything's always alright with a happy ending full of love and companionship. Never being alone, because that's how I've been feeling. Alone. Sometimes it's better to be like that because when you're alone, no one can hurt you.

I pack up my books, taking the one I'm currently reading and putting it into my bag. As I exit and walk along the deserted corridor, the lights suddenly flicker off, and before I can let my eyes adjust to the abrupt darkness, I'm being shoved hard against the wall.
I fall to the ground, caught completely off guard and not able to steady my self fast enough. When I go to stand, I'm grabbed by the shoulders and yanked up, tight against the wall again.
The lights come back on and I see the boys I've been trying to avoid; Karofsky, Azimio and Adams. I don't even know their first names, having only ever heard them be addressed like this. I usually call them much more unpleasant things in my head. 
I see them gathered around me and the hand gripping my arm tightly belongs to Karofsky. He starts talking.
"Finally. Look boys, we got our hands on him. We've been meaning too for a while. First, we find out you have all these powers and we think, oh this dude could be cool. THEN, we find out that you're a little fairy. We don't think you deserve to have any of these powers, do we guys?"
The other two nod and grunt in agreement.
"So we thought we should show you a lesson, for being such a fairy and shoving it all in our faces, thinking you're better then all of us."
I find the strength to shrug Karofsky of me. Now I'm angry. I'm ready for a good fight. I've been getting stronger since my lessons.
"What makes you think you will be to do anything to me? You know what I can do. Maybe YOU should run off before I hurt all of you!" I spit at them.
Karofsky starts chuckling before answering me back.
"See, you won't be able to use your powers if we beat you up."
I look at all three of them, seeing their grins. I feel like there's a joke I don't know.
"What do you mean I won't be able to use my powers?"
Karofsky starts laughing even more now. I suddenly feel scared – these guys can do a lot more damage to me then the people from back home.
"Because Adams over here can block powers by touch so long as he has a hold of you .."
I feel a hand grip tightly on my arm and look over to see a boy, Adams, looking down at me grinning.
"You are completely helpless."

As those words leave Karofsky's mouth, I start to feel very weak, the weakest I've ever felt. I feel the punches and kicks hitting me and I can't do anything about it - I'm paralysed and powerless. The only thing I can do is think about how weak I am and hate myself. I used to be able to feel my powers when I was being bullied but now, nothing. 
The feeling of being alone takes over me at full force as they are beating me. This wouldn't be happening if someone had been with me, or someone would be looking for me but without my dad, I am alone and unloved.
I feel myself starting to pass out from the searing pain until I feel nothing except my body  dropping to the cold, hard ground. 

They must have left. I should get up, I tell myself to, but I can't, I can't move and I can't open my eyes.
Instead I dream of a life that I wished I had, again from the books I read, one where I'm strong and independent on an adventure. And when I come across danger, someone will come and help me. This story is where I find companionship and fall in love; I am loved back and live happily ever after. I know this is just fantasy and it will never happen. But it's comforting for the time being.

After what must have been over an hour, I feel myself coming back into consciousness. I get the feeling back in my arms and legs and wish that I hadn't; the pain I'm feeling is electrifying. I finally manage to open my eyes and look down at my body, wishing I hadn't. I am bruised and bloody, broken inside and out. 
My head is pounding as I lift up my arm and feel blood tricking down my face. I try to stand but cry out in pain - my leg feels broken.
I know I have to move, have to get back to my dorm without anyone seeing me so I stand, in agony and start to walk with a very heavy limp. I walk and walk and what normally is a ten minute journey back to my dorm seems like hours and I finally get through the door to the dorm and hobble to my room. I manage to shove the door open before I collapse in pain. 
Sprawled out in the middle of the floor, silent tears streak down my face and I hear a voice. 
"Kurt, is that you?" 
I hear footsteps coming closer and they sound like gunshots. I hear a smash, that sounds like glass, and it vibrates my brain.
"Oh my god, Kurt! What happened?! Are you alright?! You're bleeding and, oh my god, you're leg looks broken, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do!"
I try to respond, but I can only feel the heaviness of my eyes closing and darkness washing over me.
"Kurt! Kurt! Stay with me, I'll be right back, just, stay with me."
The door opens and Blaine shouts for Quinn. I try to say what happened, say that I need help, but I simply lose consciousness and fall into the land of fantasy.