Aug. 31, 2013, 5:59 a.m.
It's Hard To Be A Saint In The City : The First Fight
M - Words: 1,101 - Last Updated: Aug 31, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 6/? - Created: Nov 15, 2012 - Updated: Aug 31, 2013 115 0 0 0 0
The next destination is unlike the rest; just a stretch of path with a few benches and trees. A place people would normally walk past without a thought because it holds nothing exciting, or pretty. To me, this path holds a lot of memories. The bench on the left is where I sat and broke down, crying because I thought I'd lost him for good. We screamed and shouted at each other here, both trying to prove the other wrong. I hate this place – there are few place that I hate, but this is one of them. But I stay, for Blaine. I'd do anything for him. Still, it's hesitant when I walk over to the bench. I remember sitting here for hours in the cold, shaking and hoping that I would wake up soon, that it had all been a bad dream. It wasn't, obviously. I can't fight the memories as they crash over me.
"Blaine, wait! What did I do?" The tears started - who knew when they were going to stop? I see Blaine pause and turn, tears similar to mine falling down his face.
"I've done nothing, and you're acting like a dick not telling me, making me feel awful."
He stormed towards me, shaking with rage.
"Screw you, Kurt. You spent all night flirting with any and every guy who came up to you. How do you think that makes me feel?" I reached out a hand to calm him but he shrugged away.
"It makes me feel worthless. It makes me feel like I'm just here to please you until you find someone better. It makes me feel shit!"
He spat his words at me before stalking away.
"I wasn't flirting with anyone!" I called back, because I know I wasn't – I don't want to be with anyone but Blaine.
“Bullshit," he said, not even turning around. I ran towards him, going to place my hands on his shoulders but he moved just in time.
"Please, Blaine," I pleaded, choking on my tears.
"You know what, Kurt," he was calmer, "Just leave it. Just… leave me."
"Wh-what?"
"I can't- I can't do this," he threw his hands up in the air.
"Are you," I had to take a gasping breath, "Are you breaking up with me?" I didn't care how much I was crying, I can't stop, I can't lose him. He froze, taking my hand.
"No! I- no, of course not. I just need space." He dropped my hand, walking away. I looked around; glad I was alone so no-one saw me in the state I was and my legs buckled under me. I sank on the bench and let my heart ache out.
I shake my head frantically, trying to rid myself of the thoughts. Everything is fine, we kissed and made up. We both apologised, falling into each other and not letting go for the rest of the day – needing to keep the other close, knowing that they were still there, solid and not going anywhere.
I let a frown take over my face, because if Blaine is taking me to both happy and unhappy places, I can foresee one that I really don't want to relive. I'm not going to think about it now, as I see a head of perfectly blonde hair walking towards me. My smile grows.
"Sam!" I greet him, standing and being tugged into a big bear hug, "how are you?"
He grins, "I'm good, dude! Really good. And you?"
Sam Evans: the second straight guy I had a crush on in high school. At first, I was sure he was on my team, I mean, the kid dyed his hair with lemon juice. But after all of the confusion, we became good friends. I remember when he confronted Karofsky and got a black eye for me.
"I'm great – living the dream, I suppose," I joke, winking.
"I can see that," he replies, looking down at his shoes before back at me.
"Look, Kurt, I just wanted to say thanks for everything. I don't think I really thanked you properly back in high school, so I want to now. And I mean it, for helping with my family, the clothes, welcoming me back and, of course, with Mercedes."
A soft smile takes over my face – I helped him because he helped me, when no-one else would. He stood up to my tormentor when everyone else turned a blind eye .
"I think I should be thanking you, Sam," he holds out his hand to me.
"Why don't we shake and call it even?" I ignore his outstretched hand and grab at his shoulders, hugging him. When we pull away, he hands me yellow rose and a note.
"Looks like you finally found someone, man. I knew you would."
We say our goodbyes and he says it – "I'll see you sooner than you think" – before walking away. I look down at the rose. Yellow. I look to the ones that I've already collected and there's another yellow there. I open the note.
I just want to say that I'm sorry, baby. I know this wasn't easy for me, and I'm guessing it's not easy for you either.
You have another yellow rose because, apart from friendship, yellow roses symbolise jealousy. That night, I was jealous of those guys getting your attention. We can both agree that I don't wear green well.
I laugh – I have learned that Blaine gets very jealous. However, now, I know how to calm him down and show him I'm his, and his only.
The next place has got to be one of my favourites, just because of what happened there. Go to the place that we first shared our love – the first time I said I love you and you said it back. My heart honestly skipped a beat that day. I still can't believe I can say it whenever I want now, and I will never get tired of it.
I can mouth the last words, they are now so familiar.
I love you always, Blaine.
I kiss the note lightly, placing it in my bag with the rest. I simply sit and let joy fill me for a moment – I have found someone I love with all of my heart and he feels the same way about me. I honestly didn't think I would ever have this. I smile, getting up and heading to one of my favourite places in the world.