Chaper 2

Kurt wanted to go home so badly but knew full well that he couldn't. His dad would be disappointed and angry, Carol would be no help either. There was no way he would go inside the school again today. Probably not even tomorrow....or the day after for that matter. Kurt climbed out of his car, but only to get into the backseat. He laid down, earbuds in and music on full volume, drowning out everything else.

Soft knocks on his window woke him up quite some time later. His music was off, why was his music off?

Shit shit shit the battery!

The day couldn't get any worse now, could it?

He looked up, to see Mercedes outside. She smiled at him, but he made no effort to unlock his car. Not now. Can't people just mind their own business? Why was she so determined to be his friend anyway? There was nothing special about him, nothing people could possibly like. But the girl refused to move, so he rolled down his window, not making eye contact while he quietly asked:

"What do you want?"

Mercedes was used to his absent sounding voice and kept smiling.

"Just wanted to make sure you're okay....or well, as okay as possible. I saw you running to your car earlier."

"Yeah, I'm fine.", he mumbled before rolling up the window again.

"Okay, then...I'll text you later!", Mercedes shouted and left, knowing staying wouldn't make him talk. She always seemed to know how to handle him. Even before things got this bad. She knew Kurt had problems, she just didn't know how bad it exactly was. Sure, she saw how he behaved at school, but he never talked about it. However, after a while of dealing with Kurt she had found out that the boy was more comfortable to talk via text if at all. He hated direct contact, and the worst thing to do was to touch him. Eye contact was rare, which was a pity because Kurt had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. They always looked distant though, shy and afraid like a little deer.

Kurt started the engine, and slowly drove home. He was thinking about what to tell his parents, but by the time he reached his driveway his mind was still blank. He knew his dad would know that something happened. Kurt managed to keep up the perfect image for years, but since his dad knew he had problems he could see right through him.

Well, better get in without them noticing, then.

Luckily the front door was already unlocked and he could slip in without a sound. Kurt stopped for a few seconds, to listen. The TV was on in the living room, which meant he had a good chance getting up the stairs without being caugt seen.

Kurt held his breath and only let go of it when his bedroom door was closed. He made sure that his door was locked and sat down at his bed, chucking of his shoes and pants. Gosh, why did he always wear them this tight? He didn't bother putting on sweat pants, no one would come in anyway. He also got rid of his sweater, happy to be able to show his arms in his own four walls. He made himself comfortable in the bed and turned on his laptop, thanking the person who invented the internet. The only place he could be himself, where he actually had friends and people he could talk to. Opening Tumblr he began scrolling down his dash, loosing himself in a world of acceptance. The second his computer connected him with skype he heard the sound indicating he got a message. He knew it was Mercedes without even checking, but he did it anyway.

Diva007:Hey Kurt! :)

Kurt thought for a second about not answering, but what could he lose?

Unicorn:Hello

He went back to tumblr, hoping the girl would need a few minutes to answer - she didn't.

Diva007:How are you doing?

Ugh, what do you think? I fucking ran out of school crying like a little girl.

Unicorn:fine

Diva007:You know you can talk to me, right?

yeah but it's not like talking would help me

Unicorn:I know, but I just

Unicorn:I can't.

He burried his face in his hands, once again remembering what happened in English. Why can't Mercedes just leave him be like everyone else did? No one else seems to bother if he was okay or not. This time the answer wasn't as quick as before. Skype told him she was writing, so he just stared at his monitor wondering what would take her so long to type. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

Diva007:Kurt, you're not the only one going through this, there are lots of people like you, fighting the same shit. I don't know what exactly it is, and I'm not saying that you're weak or anything if you accept help. I don't know what demons you're facing every day, I just see this boy, paler than it should be possible, walking the school halls every day. You ARE strong Kurt, you know? You come back every day. Maybe it would just be easier, with....with a friend at your side. I don't know why no one else seems to notice? Probably because you're such a great actor, but Kurt...please

He read the text four times, Mercedes was right. She had no idea what demons he faced every day, why he acted the way he did. Maybe she would leave him alone if he laid everything on the line. Maybe she'd see how weird he really was and decide to back away.

He took a deep breath, ready to get it done.

Unicorn:You're right, Mercedes, you don't know. I'll tell you, I'll tell you and hope you'll realize that you're wasting your time trying to help me.

I can't stand being surrounded by people. People judge me and talk behind my back and I can't do anything about it. I hate social situations, having to listen to people talk, having people looking at me. Walking down the hallway, where people can see me, touch me.

When sitting in a classroom, I always fear that the teacher will call my name and expect me to answer. My whole body is tense and screams at me to run, to get out of there. Guess why I never went out with you guys? Because I CAN'T.

What happened today? I skipped chemistry because of the fucking group work our teacher announced, I wanted to spend the time in the library, but some freakin' guy knocked me down. He tried to apologize but I just ran. Because I can't talk to people, fuck it I can't even look at them. Do you think I'd be able to tell you all this face to face?

Kurt clicked the enter key, shaking with emotion. He regretted telling Mercedes everything immediately, signed off of skype and shut down his computer. He didn't want to read what the girl, who tried so hard to be his friend, had to say.

His head hit the pillows and he stared at his ceiling once more. He could hear the bell downstairs, but he had no intention to eat anything. He just wasn't hungry.

After a while a soft knock started him, and he heard Carole's soft voice.

"Kurt, honey? Dinner is ready, didn't you hear?"

"I'm not hungry.", he answered, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Hon, you're getting thinner and thinner, I can't just watch you starve yourself. Please come downstairs." Carole wouldn't drop the issue, but Kurt just didn't have it in him, not today. He heard his stepmom walking away. He shut down the lights and pulled the blanket over his head.

The next day at school he stayed at the library again, this time he got there without any incident. He hoped he wouldn't see Mercedes today, but he knew that the girl wouldn't skip English. His head down, he walked to his English room and sat in his usual left corner spot. He had no idea how he even managed to go to English, he knew the risk. The knew kid wouldn't sit next to him again, would he?

Oh my god, what if he does? Should I run this time? Maybe I should leave right now before he even has the chance to walk in.

However, his thoughts came to an abrupt halt when someone sat down in the chair next to him.