“I don’t know… I thought maybe you’d miss stuff like that, you know, girly stuff- I mean, uh, you stuff, stuff you used to do with- with-”

Kurt put a hand on Finn’s forearm.

“Finn, it’s okay. It was a really sweet idea; shopping just isn’t your thing. Let’s face it; you wouldn’t expect me to watch a game with you. Anyway, shopping with Rachel was always a pain in the ass.”

Finn chuckled.

“Yeah. I remember I agreed to go with her once; she tried to get us matching sweaters with… bunnies on them? Reindeer? I don’t know, but I never went again.”

Kurt laughed.

“It took a lot of work to get her away from the animal clothes. To be fair, she pulled it off better than a lot of people could have. It might be disrespectful or something, but I really hope Eliza gets my fashion sense.”

Finn’s face lit up then. He adored his niece, and she was a much easier topic of conversation than Rachel.

“Oh, she totally will! I bet she’ll be some hot shot designer, or something else really smart, like a politician, except she’ll be really honest. Kurt, what if she became President? She could, like abolish anti-gays or something!”

Kurt grinned at his goofy big brother.

“Yep, low expectations, good idea. I always assume she’ll probably end up performing. She’s way more like Rachel than me.”

“No, she isn’t.”

Kurt frowned. Finn didn’t even have to think about it.

“Seriously? Those big brown eyes, the dark hair-”

“Kurt, there’s something about her, something that’s just you. She’s got your nose, for a start, and I know Rach would’ve wanted that, but… sometimes she giggles, and her nose wrinkles like yours does, and her whole face opens up, and it’s like… it’s like she’s still thinking, even when she’s screaming with laughter. She thinks more than I do.”

“Monkeys think more than you do.”

Finn laughed, knowing Kurt wasn’t used to compliments, even if they were given to him via the baby.

“Ouch.”

“Sorry, that was… She’s four months old, Finn, she’s probably just thinking about the whole ‘solid food’ miracle. It doesn’t take a lot to keep her mind occupied.”

Finn shrugged and leaned back, taking a sip of his beer.

“I’m just saying, she looks wise. Rachel was… she was amazing, but nobody would’ve called her wise. That’s from you.”

Kurt smiled into his drink. He watched Finn for a minute, as he stared out of the window at everyone walking past. He still had that dopey expression, but he suddenly looked so much older. It was the kind of change that would have gone unnoticed if Kurt hadn’t stopped to look at him. He was still fit and he had all his hair, and his skin was pretty much wrinkle-free. Kurt realised that he wasn’t exactly older; he’d just grown up. He knew he probably looked like an adult now as well. He was an adult. He had a house, a job, a baby, the full set. He took a deep breath.

“Do you miss her?”

Finn looked at him and nodded.

“Of course. What happened was- it was awful. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair on you. I can’t imagine how much you…”

He paused, then closed his mouth and looked at the table. Kurt narrowed his eyes.

“Finn, you’re allowed to miss her too. You almost married her; she was your first love. It would be weird if you didn’t feel sad.”

“I know, and I do, but sometimes… I think I knew she wasn’t meant to be with me. She was too much- too special. She was so much better than me, you know?”

Kurt tried to argue, but Finn wouldn’t let him.

“No, I’m not putting myself down or anything. We were so different; we were just kids, and honestly, I think she always cared about you the most. More than me, anyway. You two went so well together. I mean, I know it was never romantic, obviously, but it didn’t have to be. I always thought you were kind of soul mates.”

He frowned at his bottle, rubbing the label with his thumb and running his other hand through his hair. He’d obviously wanted to say this for months.

“Finn-”

“I know, it sounds stupid, and people have probably said it to you before and it won’t mean any more coming from me, but she… she really loved you, okay? She loved you more than anyone, and I know she’d be proud of you. I’m proud of you. You’ll say it’s all Blaine, but you’re doing such a great job. You’ve got a healthy, happy little girl who loves you. Not a lot of people could have done what you’ve done, Kurt.”

Kurt felt his eyes burning, but he hardly noticed it anymore. Even after four months, something usually set him off every few days, and this was more than something. It was validation. It was reassurance that he wasn’t screwing it up, from someone whose opinion he valued more than he would admit. It was a reminder that she was his daughter just as much as she was Rachel’s. He leaned over to hug Finn, ignoring the awkward angle and clinging onto him.

“Thank you, Finn. I- thank you.”

Finn squeezed back, kissing him on the cheek. Ten years ago he still would have felt weird about this, but they’d both come a long way. They finally pulled apart, Finn adding the obligatory slap on the back as if there were any pretence left that they weren’t having an emotional moment.

“Do you, uh… want another beer-”

“It does mean more.”

“What?”

“It means plenty coming from you. You loved both of us. You know, you’re my brother, and hearing that from you, it’s nice. Thanks.”

They both knew it was more than nice. It was everything.

“Wow, is that the time?”

Neither of them was looking at a clock, but all those feelings had taken their toll on Finn. His emotions usually weren’t called on when he was fitting tires.

“Right, I should probably get back. I told Blaine I’d be home by now.”

“Oh, cool. Must be nice, having him to go home to.”

Kurt fumbled with the buttons on his jacket. How could such a throwaway comment make him blush, after the conversation they’d just had?

“S’okay. He’s good with the baby.”

“He seems really nice, though. You must’ve gotten to know him; what’s he like?”

Gorgeous. Funny. Perfect.

“He’s nice. It’s nice to have him around. Eliza loves him.”

Finn raised his eyebrows.

“Huh. Eliza. Okay.”

“Finn-”

“No, no, I believe you. I’m not going to make any inappropriate comments. About your ‘nice’ employee. Who you live with. Who Eliza loves. Nope.”

“I hate you.”

Finn smirked.

“Love you too.”

~

Finn insisted on going home. He knew if he went back to Kurt’s he’d stay there for hours, fawning over the baby and getting sentimental about everything until the morning, and he had work the next day. They parted with another hug in a more convenient position, Kurt smiling as he watched Finn walk in the other direction. He still couldn’t believe he was the same kid who’d thrown him into dumpsters when they were kids. He definitely couldn’t believe he’d ever had a crush on him.

“I’m home! Sorry I’m late!” he called out as he opened the door, dropping his keys in the bowl.

“What?” the answer came from upstairs, amid splashing and Eliza giggling.

Kurt grinned.

“What are you doing up there?”

“Oh, I’m just, uh, giving the baby a bath. What are you doing home? You’re early!”

Kurt darted up the stairs. Bath time was too adorable to miss.

“Blaine, it’s seven thirty; I was meant to be home an hour ago-”

He opened the bathroom door to see Blaine, fully clothed, holding Eliza against his chest and booping her nose with a rubber duck. Her hair had been styled into a foamy Mohawk and she was clapping delightedly.

Blaine was, of course, in the bath with her. He dotted her cheek with kisses, making her gurgle with happiness as she grabbed at the duck, jumping when it squeaked.

Kurt burst out laughing as soon as he saw them.

“Why are you- what are you- what?”

“What? She kept splashing me so I was already soaked, and I, uh-”

“You got in the tub?”

“Well, if you say it like that it sounds weird-”

Kurt had to lean on the wall to stop himself from falling over. He could barely breathe.

“Like what? Like saying exactly what happened?”

“But I’m fully clothed-”

“You’re not making the point you think you’re making-”

Blaine’s eyes widened in panic.

“Wait, wait – what time did you say it was?”

“Seven thirty – wait, are we just going to bypass the fact that you’re fully dressed in the bathtub?”

“Oh, crap, I’m late.”

He held Eliza out towards Kurt, naked and wet and beaming, and he took her, still laughing, not caring that his clothes were soaked instantly. He rubbed their noses together, and he could see what Finn had been talking about. Her smile, the wrinkle in her nose, the thoughtfulness; it was all there. He froze, smiling at her while Blaine clambered out of the bath, getting water all over the floor.

“Are you okay?”

“She… she looks like me.”

“You sound surprised?”

Kurt snapped out of his daze, and turned to the man dripping on his bathroom floor. He burst out laughing again and handed him a towel.

“I’m surprised that this is what I leave her with every day. What are you late for?”

“Oh, just, I said I’d meet some friends. This guy’s going to be there; I’ve had kind of a thing with him – I don’t know. We have a lot of mutual friends and they’re really rooting for something to happen, but I’m not that into it.”

Kurt swallowed.

“Oh. You’re, uh- I didn’t- I didn’t know you were gay.”

Blaine scrubbed at his hair roughly with the towel, making it spring out in different directions. He became defensive almost immediately.

“I didn’t know it was a problem.”

“Problem? God, no- I mean, no. I am too.”

He sighed with relief.

“Oh, okay. Sorry. I just- I’ve been hassled for it before, you know? Wow, I didn’t mean to get so- sorry. Is it weird for me to talk about that stuff with you? It’s not, like, unprofessional or anything, right? If you’d rather I-”

“Blaine. Stop.”

Kurt nodded pointedly at Blaine’s clothes, which were clinging to him in rather inconvenient places. A puddle had formed around his feet. He laughed at himself.

“Oh, right. I should probably, uh-”

He peeled his shirt off (why did he have to keep doing that?) and wrung it out over the bath. He looked at Kurt, down to his soaking wet pants, and then back up to Kurt, who stopped staring at his stomach just long enough to take the hint. He grabbed another towel and wrapped it around Eliza, sweeping off to her room.

He’s naked he’s naked he’s naked-

Eliza was still grinning at him.

“I don’t know what you’re smiling about. You’re the one with no clothes on. Minx.”

She giggled and clapped. He rolled his eyes and smiled back at her. It was hard not to. He put her in her cutest onesie, the lion one.

“The Mohawk inspired me; a certain Puckfasa I used to know would be very proud. Have you had dinner?”

Her head flopped to one side.

I can’t talk, Daddy. Ask the other one.

“Right,” he called out to Blaine, “has she eaten?”

“No, not yet. I didn’t realise what time it was-”

“No problem. I’ll take care of it.”

He jogged down the stairs with the furry bundle in his arms and heated up the mashed sweet potato he’d cooked the night before. He couldn’t wait until she got teeth and he could start feeding her new things. He knew teething was going to be horrible, but it would be worth it. He decided not to put her in the high chair. It was more fun to hold her. He’d just come to the realisation that she actually inherited some stuff from him; he wasn’t in the mood to put her down.

They settled down on the sofa and Kurt flicked on the television. He didn’t really pay much attention to what was on; something with a laughter track and predictable jokes that would be easy to ignore. He folded his legs under him and flew a spoonful of food into Eliza’s mouth. He left the food on the coffee table for a minute, lifting her up over his head. He blew a raspberry against her stomach and she squirmed with joy.

He brought her back down and just held her for a moment, feeling her chest rise and fall, letting her brown eyes lock with his blue ones. He smiled at her. She smiled back. Their noses wrinkled. She was his.

He heard a throat clear in the doorway.

“Oh.”

“What? Too much? I haven’t really, you know, in a while-”

Kurt had never seen him like this. He usually had the scruffy look going for him, polo shirts and jeans, but now he was in dark grey trousers, a fitted, electric blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a waistcoat, polished shoes, just enough product in his hair to give it some shine and define the curls, clean shaven… ‘Oh’ was pretty much all Kurt could come with.

“Okay, be fair. You’re a designer. I’m just a civilian. We can’t all dress like you – well, how you normally dress.”

Kurt looked down and realised he was still damp, with a splodge of sweet potato on his shoulder (somehow) and had a sneaking suspicion his face wouldn’t be looking too great after a day out with Finn making him cry. He looked at Blaine, who was smiling at him nervously anyway.

“No, Blaine, you look… good. Really good.”

Blaine exhaled heavily, puffing his cheeks out. It should have looked silly. It looked adorable.

“Thank God. I mean, they’re mostly just friends from school, but they’re all gonna think I- no. It doesn’t matter.” Kurt frowned a little, still confused that someone like Blaine could doubt himself so much. He shook it off. He obviously didn’t have time to dissect it right now. “It’s just Seb that’s going to be difficult.”

“That’s the guy?”

“Yeah. Sebastian. The guys mean well, but I think it’s kind of a ‘they’re both gay so let’s set them up’ situation. We’ve hung out a few times but he’s a little too much for me.”

“I find that hard to believe-“

“What?”

“Nothing. Hey, you don’t want to keep them waiting. You should go.”

Blaine shook his head, trying to psych himself up.

“Oh, right, yeah. You’re sure I look okay?”

Kurt forced a smile.

“Yep. Trust me. You look great. Go.”

Blaine grinned at Kurt, ran over to give Eliza a kiss in the bushy mane covering her head and a ‘night, sweetheart’, checked for his phone and wallet, grabbed his keys from the bowl and left.

Kurt took a deep breath, staring into the space where Blaine had been, still smelling traces of cinnamon mixed with the vanilla from the bath. He looked down at the baby, whose eyebrows were raised at him.

“Don’t.”

She giggled at him. He shifted on the couch, bringing his knees up so he could rest Eliza on them. He grabbed the food from the table and fed her a mouthful before she could learn to talk just to mock him. With her being so much like him, he wouldn’t put it past her.

She kept staring up at him, eyes wide and knowing.

“Stop that, Lizzie. Nobody thinks you’re clever.”

She laughed, orange flecks flying out of her mouth.

“Fine, Finn does, but you should learn not to take that too seriously. He’s a messy eater too.”

He scooped another spoonful into her mouth, miming chewing movements so she wouldn’t forget what she was meant to be doing.

“I need to stop talking to you. You’re going to give me bad ideas. I don’t like him. He’s here for you.”

She seem unconvinced, mulling it over as she chewed.

“ I’m just the boring old guy he works for, remember? He’s young and energetic and he goes out with his friends… looking like that… and here I am feeding sweet potato to a lion. Do you see my problem?”

Her mouth hung open and an orange blob slid down her chin. He caught it with the spoon.

“No, of course not. You’ve got your own stuff to deal with right now. Chewing’s tricky; I shouldn’t add to that burden. Come on, eat up so you can go to sleep.”