“Excuse me? Hate to interrupt, but I have gross stuff on me so you can see your spawn. The least you can do is actually look.” They laughed and focused on her, Kurt on her left and Blaine on her right, both holding her hands and kissing her head. They froze when the tiny, blurry image fizzled up on the screen.

“So, there’s the head… Those are the legs, just folded in there, and that little flicker there… That is your baby’s heartbeat.”

“And it’s all normal? Everything’s OK? Ow! Could you not squeeze so hard? Jesus, I feel sorry for your dicks if your grip’s always that hard.” The three of them received a shocked stare from the technician, while a passing orderly sniggered. “Oh, sorry, I… We don’t usually talk like that. It’s been a very emotional day. Babies and stuff. Don’t worry, they’re really responsible and would never curse in front of-”

“Becca, it’s fine.” Blaine kissed her hand as he loosened his grasp on it. “But everything’s OK, right? With the baby?”

“Looks that way to me. As we’ve passed the three month mark, you can relax a little. You know, start telling people.” They looked at each other and tried to think of a single person they hadn’t told already. They smirked and looked down, both drawing a blank.

“Doctor, there are people who don’t know their names who know they’re having a baby.” The technician smiled.

“Yes, we get that a lot. Well, no harm done. Just listen to that heartbeat. Baby’s doing great.” Kurt and Blaine looked at each other, then back to the screen, their eyes watering. “I’ll give you a minute. Congratulations.”

“Kurt, look at that. It’s so tiny.” Kurt nodded, speechless. His grasp on Becca’s hand had softened. In fact, he’d gone completely limp. Blaine got up and swept in behind him, holding him and kissing his hair. He smiled at Rebecca and mouthed ‘Thank you’. She smiled and patted his arm. She gave a long sigh.

“What?”

“This was so much easier when I could just leave. Now I’m stuck with you two saps. You better not cry on my hair.”

***

Blaine took his final bow and ran off the stage. The show had over-run, and he and Kurt had plans. That was the best thing about this job: adrenaline rush after every performance. He was bounding out of the theatre, blowing kisses to the rest of the company, as he reached for his phone to call Kurt. He would tell him he didn’t have to call, and Blaine would tell him that he would always call anyway because it would just be weird not to hear his voice on his way home. But he didn’t get to hear his voice. He had seventeen missed calls. All from Becca. The last one was two hours ago. He stabbed at the ‘Call Voicemail’ button.

“Listen, Blaine, I’ve been calling you for like an hour, and, uh… Something’s… I’m at Beth Israel. Please just come, Ah! Oh, God, Blaine, just come.” Blaine dropped his phone. She sounded like she was in pain. He froze to the spot for twenty seconds, before stooping to pick the phone up and running to the subway, frantically trying to call Kurt.

The subway ride was unbearable. It seemed to take hours. He felt so helpless sitting there, hands in pockets, no phone reception, staring at the ground. He tapped his foot without realising as he read the texts Becca had been sending him all evening: ‘Blaine, pick up your phone’, ‘I don’t want you to freak out or anything, OK, just call me back. I’m probably just being paranoid.’, ‘Blaine. I called an ambulance. I’ll let you know where they take me. Please look at your phone.’

He burst through the double doors, still trying to call Kurt, and ran to reception.

“I’m sorry, sir, you can’t use your cell phone in here-”

“Um, can you tell me where Becca – Rebecca Harris is? It should be the, uh, I don’t know, what’s the ward for pregnant women? She’s, um, oh God, Kurt, pick up-”

“She’s in Obstetrics.” The nurse gently touched the hand that was leaning on her desk, and Blaine stopped panicking for a second. “Sir. You can’t use that in here. It messes up hospital equipment. Are you Mr Harris? I can tell you where she is.”

“No, she’s not, I’m Mr Anderson-Hummel. She’s our surrogate. I need to call my husband, he needs to be here, fuck, fuck-”

“OK. Hold on. Why don’t you give me his number and I’ll try calling him from here. Her ward is down the corridor and upstairs. Third door on the right. I’ll call the ward now and tell them you’re coming. Deep breaths, honey. You won’t be any use if you’re all shaken up, alright?” Blaine nodded.

He stumbled into the ward, ushered along by the tiniest nurse he’d ever seen. She was like a little bird, but her hands were soft as she held him by the elbow, guiding him towards the bed where Becca was sitting. She was fully clothed, and it looked like she was about to leave. She spotted Blaine and immediately looked at the floor. He walked up to her slowly. He knew what was coming. He wanted to put it off for as long as possible.

“I’m sorry; I was about to call you again, but they said you were on your way up.” Blaine sat beside her and put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.

“Becca-”

“I was calling for so long, and I panicked. It really hurt.”

“Becca, please-”

“I didn’t know what else to do, Blaine, I had to call an ambulance. If I’d known they were just going to bring me to work-” He put his hand over hers. She looked up at him.

“Becca. It’s gone, isn’t it?” She opened her mouth to answer, but couldn’t find the words. She turned her head to face the floor and closed her eyes. That told him everything he needed to know. “I need to call Kurt. I need to speak to him.”

“No, Blaine, not yet. They’re trying. Can you just stay here for a minute?” He nodded, and tightened his grip on her arm. She leaned into him, putting her hand on his chest. “I’m sorry, Blaine. I’m really sorry. I wish I-” He shushed her, because he couldn’t hear it right now. He couldn’t break here, because the only person who could put him back together wasn’t here. He kept his mouth shut and rocked Becca gently. He didn’t want to be angry with her, but he couldn’t help it. She hadn’t done anything wrong; nature had simply taken its course, but it felt like there was a heavy metal lump in his stomach. He felt cold. He trembled all over. He wanted to throw up, or throw something across the room, or scream or something, but there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t move. So he just sat with her, closing his eyes and trying to close the world out. A man in blue scrubs and a white coat poked his head around the curtain. He started talking, sitting in front of them with his clipboard saying something about bleeding and abnormalities and Becca kept staring at the floor and the doctor was talking and talking but it didn’t make any difference. It was still gone. His arm dropped from Becca’s shoulders. He stood up, his eyes brimming, and started walking away. “No, Blaine, please-”

“I’m sorry. I can’t. Not yet. I need him.” He saw the doctor take her hand as he walked out. Of course. This was her hospital. She’d had to go through this in front of all her colleagues, her friends, at her most vulnerable. He wanted to turn back and be a proper friend and hold her hand and be there for her, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at her; it just hurt too much.

He shivered when he got outside. It wasn’t the breeze. He saw Kurt running towards him from the parking lot, panic-stricken and tearful. He stopped a metre away. One look at Blaine and he knew what had happened. He shook his head. Blaine shook his, staring at him helplessly.

“No. No, no, no-” he sank to the ground. He sat on the floor, in front of dozens of visitors and patients, his hand flat on the concrete to steady himself. Blaine fell to his knees next to him, leaning back on his heels, pulling him under his chin. He held on to him tighter than he ever had before, as if letting go would mean slipping away into nothingness. All he could feel was the warmth of Kurt against the cold, the hope of him against the pain. They didn’t cry. They didn’t make a sound. They just sat there, holding each other, for almost an hour.

“Blaine?” Blaine didn’t answer, but Kurt knew he heard him. “I want to go home.”