He grabbed some bacon out of the fridge, and started frying. If anything could make him feel better right now, it’d be a bacon sandwich. What Kurt didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. And he figured Kurt would be focusing on other issues right now.

As he gazed at the frying pan, trying not to fall over, relieved when his stomach didn’t turn at the smell of food, he heard his father walk in. He suddenly felt so guilty, even though he hadn’t really done anything. He was pretty sure everyone had been asleep when he got home. But now he couldn’t really remember. The man so rarely smiled and meant it, Blaine didn’t know how to tell if he was angry or not.

“Evening.”

“Hi, dad. Sorry I missed dinner. And lunch. I’ve just been studying and stuff, I got really into it and I didn’t want to break concentration-“

“I know you were asleep. I saw you.” Blaine wanted to object to his father coming into his room, but he knew he didn’t really have a leg to stand on. “And I haven’t heard a peep from you all day; you’re usually so loud. I think you’ve lied enough to me already without adding to it now.”

The bacon kept sizzling, and a drop of fat flew out onto Blaine’s arm, burning him. He flinched and slowly turned his head to look at his father. Those eyes just did something to him. He was four years old again. Even if he hadn’t been out last night, even if he had been studying all day, he’d still feel like he was in trouble. He wondered why he bothered trying so hard to get this man’s approval when he was never going to get it.

“OK. I overdid it last night. I’m sorry. But I’ll make up the time I’ve lost, now that I’ve slept it off I just need to finish that Biology Report I started yesterday, and it’s almost finished anyway…” He hated himself when he was around his dad. He was so unsure of everything, he could feel his confidence being undermined at every turn.

“Blaine, this is not about your schoolwork. This is about you.”

He was stunned. It was always about school. What had happened? What did he know? His head was spinning again, but he felt suddenly and completely sober.

“Is there something you’d like to tell me?” He produced a phone from his pocket. Blaine’s phone. Shit.

“Like what?”, he stammered. He couldn’t give away any more than he had to. There was still a chance he didn’t know.

“About… A boy. Kurt. The one who came to the house earlier, asking for you.”

Oh, God. He met Kurt. What did he say to him? Kurt wouldn’t have given anything away, but Dad had a habit of just… knowing stuff. And he wouldn’t like it. He hated any kind of confrontation with his father, but what if he’d upset Kurt? He tried to stand up straight, summoning all of his strength.

“Dad, did you take my phone out of my room? Someone might have tried to call me-“

“Someone did. Eleven times. He must be a good friend; he seemed worried about you.” His voice was oozing disdain. “Blaine, what have you been doing with this boy?”

Blaine’s fear was evaporating as he got angrier. “Why didn’t you wake me up? If someone calls me… If a girl had called me, would you have taken my phone away? Or would you have woken me up and let me answer? Dad, he’s my friend, and now he’ll think I’m ignoring him!”

“I didn’t know boys were so sensitive these days. Can’t you just see him on Monday? I mean, if he’s just a friend? Obviously if it was a girl things would be different, girlfriends can get so touchy. But hey, if he’s a pal, he’ll understand, right? Right?”

“You know what?” This was it. He couldn’t back away from this. “He will understand. Because he’s not just my friend. He’s my best friend.” He paused. He’d imagined coming out before, but never like this. He felt like he was being trapped. His dad knew; he’d known for months, maybe years, and said nothing. He looked like a giant now, advancing towards him, his face still seeming calm but his eyes wide with contempt. “Dad, he’s my boyfriend, OK? He’s my boyfriend, and he’s perfect, and he makes me happy!”

“Blaine, keep your voice down. Stop this, you’re confu-“

“No! I’m not confused, and I won’t be quiet! Dad, you know I’m gay! I was so afraid to tell you, and now everything’s so great because of him! I feel like I don’t have to be afraid any more! Dad, I don’t want to be afraid of you any more, OK?”

His father’s face changed. The reserve was gone. No more stiff upper lip. He was breathing harder. Blaine shrunk again. He’d seem him angry before, but…

“Shut. The fuck. Up. You’re just a kid. What the hell do you know?” He threw Blaine’s phone against the wall, breaking the cover off. The battery flew out, and the pieces hit the floor. Blaine felt like his insides were doing the same. “I suppose you think you love him?” He took a step back, almost tripping, and watched his father grab the frying pan off the stove and send it clanging to the floor. “If you want to be a freak, then do it on your own time. And keep it the fuck out of my house. I don’t want our neighbours seeing you bringing guys back to our home. I stood up for you when you wanted to transfer to Dalton. I should have left you in the first school. Maybe it would have toughened you up. Stopped you getting these ideas.” Blaine wanted to argue, but all the fight has just been knocked out of him. He just stood there. He watched as his father took several deep breaths, straightened his tie, asked to ‘clean up this mess’, and resumed his cool, composed expression like nothing had happened. “As soon as this is tidy you can go and finish that Biology Report. Let’s not let everything turn to shit.”

He left the room.

Blaine practically pounced on his phone. He needed to speak to Kurt. But as soon as he got the battery back in and turned it on, he stopped. What if his dad came back in, and it all kicked off again? He cleaned the mess off the floor, his phone in his pocket, then ran up to his room to do his homework.

-

His phone rang again. That had been four times since he’d switched it back on. He just stared at the picture of Kurt that was popping up on the screen. Kurt hated the picture, but it was his favourite. He’d taken it when Kurt was talking to Rachel, and he was in the middle of laughing. He couldn’t help smiling when he saw it. He couldn’t keep ignoring him, and he wasn’t concentrating on photosynthesis anyway. He picked up.

“Blaine! Oh God I’m so relieved, I wasn’t sure what had happened! I thought maybe you were just hungover or something, but it’s, what, 9pm are you still weren’t picking up, and I thought your dad… Oh, I don’t even know-“

“Kurt, Kurt, it’s fine. Everything’s fine. But I… I can’t really talk. Some stuff happened with my dad. He knows, and. He’s gone so… Look, I still really want to talk to you about last night, and I want to make things ok, I just need to keep my head down for the rest of the weekend. I don’t want to make him any madder than he already is. I’ve got to go, I have a tonne of homework to do. But I’ll see you on Monday OK? I… I love you, Kurt.” He hated whispering that. He wanted to shout it, mostly because it was true, obviously, but partly just to mess with his dad. He couldn’t handle another fight though.

“OK. I love you too. Just - call me if you want to, alright? I’m here if you need me. Whenever.”

“Yeah, thanks. Really. Thanks.” He paused. He knew Kurt could tell he was miserable, but he couldn’t fight the sadness in his voice any more. He was done fighting for today. “I’ll see you at school. Bye.” He hung up before Kurt could say ‘Bye’ back. He flopped onto his bed again, putting his phone under his pillow so nobody could get to it, and was asleep in seconds.