He didn't know that could happen. There were people who probably offed themselves and then second guessed it, but Blaine was perfectly fine with where he ended up. He was the idiot who had made the stupid decision, so he was going to try and make the best of it. Well. That's what he had said before.

But after witnessing Puck and his family, Blaine began to realize what he was missing. It's not like he really ever had a family, his father disowning him when he came out as gay and his mother acting as if he was a screw up since the day he born, but he wanted the loving feeling a family gave. Puck had that all around him and Blaine was jealous.

He began to skip going to the bar with Puck, telling him he just didn't feel up to it much anymore. Puck just shrugged it off but gave him a look every time he turned him down.

It also didn't help that Puck was suddenly like a cat in heat and was rubbing up on every female that made their way into the shabby bar. Now when Blaine did join Puck, he was ditched at the table for some hot girl Puck had caught sight of. He'd sit back with his beer and watch as Puck danced with and wooed the girl till he was able to get her to go home with him- or Blaine's apartment so his family wouldn't hear. Blaine hated having to hear Puck and that night's fuckbuddy either on the floor or in the small room next to Blaine's which was kept vacant.

One night Puck sat across from him at their booth and pointed out Blaine's lack of sexual activity. "You just need some ass, then you'll be fine."

Blaine had just rolled his eyes at Puck and ignored him, knowing soon enough that a girl would catch his eye.

"Seriously, dude. What's wrong with you? I'm surprised I even got you out tonight." Puck asked, cocking an eyebrow at Blaine.

Blaine shrugged and slumped back in his seat. "Nothing. It just depresses me to go out anymore."

"It's not because you're thinking of the asshole Nathan are you? Because if that's the case forget about him. Let loose, my good man."

Blaine shrugged again. Okay. Maybe he was depressed because he was thinking of Nathan. But the thoughts of their relationship had been flooding his mind after Puck had began bringing girls home. "No. It's not because of that. I guess... I guess I'm just a bit homesick."

Puck gave him a weird look. "Homesick? Well, buddy. You're screwed. You're kind of stuck here for, like, ever."

Blaine sighed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. "Yeah. I know that."

"But what possibly could you be homesick over? From what you told me, you don't really have much to miss."

"I know. But." Blaine cocked his head and sighed. "I guess. I guess I miss feeling something."

Puck was giving him an incredulous look. "You're going to explain what you're talking about... because I have no clue at all what you're getting at."

"I miss feeling something!" Blaine said, his hands fanning from his bottle. "Here we barely feel anything. The most we feel is sadness and depression and disappointment. No one ever feels happiness or nervousness or love."

The world of the beyond is complicated. It dampened everything that used to be wonderful around the world. It was literally like everything was dimmed down here. Feelings are nothing. Love is just a sarcastic word used now and then. It didn't mean anything anymore. People's lives here are nothing but one night stands. Dating is just ridiculous since nothing ever came out of it. And happiness. That word barely exists. The worst feelings that you felt in the world of the Living are the only ones you feel in the world of the Beyond.

Blaine disliked it. It was frustrating, remembering the effects of happiness and love, but never being able to feel them again.

"I mean," he started again as he saw the confused look on Puck's face, "Don't you ever miss the wonderful feeling you got when something great happened. The huge grins that would split someone's face so easily, because it was so normal. The thud of your heart in your chest, the tightening of every muscle, the loss of breath, the high of being in love. Don't you just miss it all?"

Puck sat back and tapped the toe of his foot on the floor. "I see. Well. I do miss that sometimes... But all those feelings bring hurt. So I think it's be better to feel the disappointment and the hurt now instead of the crushing pain you get when you are pushed down after your high."

Blaine brought his bottom lip between his teeth and bit down slightly. Puck had a point there, but he believed that those feelings were so worth it. And those feelings kept on giving. While hurt would disappear after a while happiness and love last as long as you want it to.

But this was all crazy talk here in the world of the Beyond. No one talked like this. No one felt like this.

But Blaine had kept one thing in the back of his mind after the dinner with the Puckermans.

At least there's still some hope in this world.

Mrs. Puckerman's words had echoed in his head for hours after they spoke.

She was right. And Blaine had seen the evidence right in front of his eyes. He had seen love and happiness in those two girls who had sat across from him.

Maybe there was a way to actually enjoy the time he had here. If only he could find the right person to help him.

It was another morning of slamming doors and stomps up stairs for Blaine. He really, really wasn't in the mood to deal with Sam finding more junk food trash laying around the house and chewing him out for it. When he heard the door leading into his room slam open, the picture frame still laying on the floor already from weeks ago, he groaned and rolled over so his back was facing Sam. "What do you want?" He grunted out tiredly.

"It's your turn to go shopping. I have stuff to do, so I want you to go now." Sam explained, walking around the room and picking up clothes and putting them in the clothes hamper in the corner. Blaine would never have guessed this guy was straight if he hadn't pointed out the fact when they first met.

Blaine groaned again, pulling the thin blanket over his head in an attempt to block him out. Sam walked over and grabbed the hem, stripping the blanket from Blaine and throwing it in the corner. "Fine!" Blaine yelled as he rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself up, "I'll go get the fucking groceries that I don't even use!"

"You live here, don't you!" Sam said, wiping his pants on his jeans.

"Whatever. Just- whatever." Blaine mumbled getting up and stumbling to his broken dresser and digging in to find pants and a shirt.

"I have a shopping list right here. Buy everything, no extras- which means no junk food. And I want the receipt." Sam said, holding a crumpled piece of paper in his hand.

Blaine rolled his eyes as he pulled on a pair of worn out jeans and slipping a ripped t-shirt over his head. "Whatever you say."

"If you want to continue to live here, you'll get rid of that attitude and start giving a shit about things."

"I got it, Sam. I got it." Blaine looked at Sam and met his eyes, making sure he knew he was listening. He walked over and grabbed his scuffed up sneakers and putting them on. Sam stood in the middle of his room as Blaine bustled around getting ready, making Blaine a bit uncomfortable with his gaze. Blaine finished tying his shoes and stood up to grab the shopping list. "I'll be back soon. Or whenever I want to be." With that he left his room, hurrying down the stairs and out the front door into the blistering heat outside.

Another downfall of the world of the Beyond was how hot it was constantly. Never any snow, rain once in a very long while, maybe once a year. The sun was always shining, determined on making everyone sweat the moment they step out their house. Or even before that since no one had air conditioning.

Blaine shielded his eyes with his hand as he walked down the hot concrete sidewalk, heat vapors lifting off the asphalt beside him. The walk wasn't very long, only a couple minutes, as he turned the corner and saw the glass storefront of Bernie's Grocers. He walked inside the empty store, nodding at the old man at the only cash register. He grabbed an ugly green basket and grabbed the shopping list that had been forced upon him and began to make his way down the aisles, his eyes searching for the most likely disgusting health foods.

"Tofu? You've got to be joking me," Blaine said under his breath as his eyes scanned the paper. Nothing on the list sounded appetizing, most of it sounding vomit inducing. He made a face as he began picking up boxes and bags and setting them in the basket he held, checking off the objects mentally. He took a detour as he passed the isle full of chips and candy, deciding he'd get a few things to snack on himself. All he had to do was buy them separately, then he was off the hook. He smiled deviously as he began to pick up bags of chips, and Twinkies, and HoHo's. He was reaching for a bag of pretzels when he heard a sharp intake of breath, causing him to look up and see a Asian boy standing at the end of the isle.

"Blaine? Is that really you?" the boy asked, his eyes wide in disbelief.

"Wes?" Blaine laughed, "Are you serious?" Wes was one of Blaine's best friends from school. He had been by his side for years, and even when he came out he stayed by him. It was great to see him again, but not under this circumstance. It meant only one thing. "Why are you here?"

Wes walked up the aisle to meet him, clapping him on the shoulder. "It's great to see you again too-"

"Well, yeah, of course!" Blaine sputtered.

"Don't hurt yourself."

If Blaine could smile, he was sure he'd be smiling. It was the first person he knew that had arrived here, and as sad it was, he couldn't help but feel a spark of something. He wanted to just pull him in for a hug and beg to hear everything he had missed. But there was still one question he needed to know. "What are you doing here?"

Wes gave him an incredulous look. "Exactly what you're doing here? It's not like I took a vacation here."

"Stop being a smart ass, Wes."

"Hey, I'm just trying to answer your questions!" He held up his hands like Puck had, in surrender.

"Why are you here? What happened? Why and how did you off yourself?"

Wed suddenly look uncomfortable, an unusual pink crossing his darkened skin. He looked down at his shoes. "Well. After you killed yourself I didn't really have anyone to hold onto anymore..."

Blaine's eyes widened. "You didn't- no. Why? Why would you kill yourself over me?"

"I tried to go on! But you were the only friend I had. The only one I cared about. And when you went and offed yourself, I kind of... I'd say went crazy. But I broke down and I believed I didn't have anything to live for. What's the use of continuing a life when no one cares about you?" Wes looked hurt as he spoke and Blaine's heart lodged in his throat. He killed himself without thinking of the consequences of the people around him, more importantly Wes, the boy who was like his brother. The boy who had killed himself because Blaine did.

"What about Nathan? You guys were close too?" Blaine questioned, wondering how he had reacted to Blaine's death. Blaine hoped he had cried and felt terrible, like it was all his fault.

A pained look crossed Wes' face and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Well... Nathan offed himself about a month after you. So I didn't have anyone."

Blaine had stopped listening as he stared wide-eyed at Wes, his mouth falling open. "Wh-what? Wait? Nathan- Nathan offed h-himself?"

"Yeah... He actually hung himself in his bedroom closet." Wes' face turned a bit green at the thought as Blaine just continued to stare at him.

"Nathan... Nathan offed himself..." Blaine dropped the basket in his hand and heard the shattering of glass, but he wasn't paying attention to anything around him. "Wes... It was amazing to see you again- and I hope to see you soon. But I have to go!" He pulled Wes in for a hug before turning and taking off out of the store and down the street, leaving a dazed Wes alone.