May 30, 2013, 8:29 a.m.
Landslide: Chapter 29: Vacation
T - Words: 1,879 - Last Updated: May 30, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 33/? - Created: May 30, 2013 - Updated: May 30, 2013 112 0 0 0 0
Chapter 29: Vacation
TPD: New York – The Purple Piano Project
A/N: I know the song Blaine sings in this chapter wasn't released for a year after he sings it, but it just... I need it because it works so perfectly and it comes back around later. So much later that you'll have forgotten it's supposed to come back. So, please forgive me, and let's put it down to Glee continuity-itis, and call my fic even more canon because of it. (Also, this may be the longest chapter in the story even though I decided to end it earlier story-wise than I planned.)
"A word?"
Blaine glanced at his supervisor and nodded. Why didn't he have a good feeling about this word? He'd done alright in the big number for the early afternoon show by the ferris wheel stage...
"You worked concessions yesterday, right?" Mr. Meyers asked as soon as the door was closed.
"Yeah," Blaine said.
"Well, the till came up short."
Blaine froze. Tons of people had worked that popcorn stand yesterday. "You don't think anyone...?"
"Blaine."
He waited. Why was Meyers looking at him like he was guilty?
"If you tell me the truth-"
"I did not take any money from the till, sir," Blaine stated calmly. "I wish I could tell you who did or what happened, but-"
"I'm sorry, Blaine. You're fired."
"What?"
"Lucy saw you pocketing a twenty."
"She what? But I didn't- Mr. Meyers, I love this job. I would never-"
"The thing is, Blaine, if you'd just been honest-"
"I was honest-! I'm being honest!"
Meyers squinted at him. "I got a letter from social security, kid. There's a lot you haven't been honest about."
"Social security?"
"Care to explain why they have you listed as female?"
"Are you-? Take a look at me, Mr. Meyers. Do I look, act, or sound, in any way, female?"
"Well, either you're a girl, or you've stolen more than just twenty dollars from a popcorn till."
Blaine felt tears of humiliation welling up in him. "I'm transgender," he gritted out. "And I didn't steal any money."
"Well, I definitely can't have some tranny thief working for me," he said and Blaine felt like he'd been hit.
"That's discrimination."
"Prove it. You stole twenty dollars from a till. That's more than enough. Get out of my office."
Mr. Meyers' look was enough. Blaine barely heard the rest of what was spewed at him. He'd only worked at the theme park for a month. He didn't have enough for tuition, let alone housing next semester. What was he going to do?
"We've talked, sweetheart."
He hated hearing his mother say words like that.
"You're right, and it's not fair of us to uproot you from a school where you've got friends. You've had enough change to deal with, and forcing you to transfer schools this year isn't going to help ground you."
"I don't understand," he said, trying to extinguish the flame growing in his chest.
"We'll pay for your tuition," his mother said. His father remained stonily silent next to her. "We're sorry you lost your job, honey. So you can spend the rest of the summer acting like a teenager, alright? No more jobs, no more saving money. We're going to support you."
"Oh."
"Oh?" his father repeated. "That's it?"
"Yes, I mean- no. Thank you. I just- I didn't expect- Thank you."
He went back to Dalton the next day to talk to the headmaster. He was thrilled to learn that Blaine would be returning, partly because he knew this was where Blaine was thriving, and probably a little bit because of what he brought to the Warblers. But Blaine liked to think it was mostly the former.
He stopped in the practice room on his way out and sat at the piano, tapping experimentally at the keys when his pocket went off with Kurt's ringtone.
"Hey," Blaine smiled.
"Hey, yourself," Kurt replied. "What are you up to this fine day?"
"Nothing important."
"Movie night?"
"Absolutely," Blaine grinned.
"Great. I think Finn rented Liar, Liar or something stupid and I'm never going to get through it without someone to roll my eyes with."
"Happy to help," Blaine said as the smile slipped off his face.
Liar.
Liar.
Meyers had called him a liar because he hadn't been open about his trans status. What if Kurt would feel the same way? He'd been so worried that Kurt wouldn't love his differences, but it hadn't occurred to him that it might seem like lying. But it wasn't lying. He was a boy. It wasn't lying.
"I'll see you around five, then?" Kurt prompted.
"Yeah."
"Love you," Kurt said with such ease that Blaine barely managed a "Me, too."
He hung up and his hands flew back to the keys, banging out a Kelly Clarkson song. He didn't know all the words, so he hummed some of them. "Will you stay even if it hurts?" he sang, humming again, so desperate that he was nearly crying. "...remind me who I really am, please remind me who I really am. Everybody's got a dark side. Do you love me? Can you love mine? Nobody's a picture perfect, but we're worth it. You know that we're worth it. Can you love me? Even with my dark side?" He cleared his throat. "Don't run away, don't run away- tell me that you will stay, don't run... away..."
He stopped singing, holding his breath again to stop himself from crying.
"Blaine?"
He coughed to cover his surprise.
"Trent, hey."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Trent stood awkwardly in the doorway and didn't leave. He seemed like he wanted to say something, but didn't know what. He finally settled on, "You don't have to talk about it, but I'm here if-"
"It's Kurt," Blaine confessed. "I just... I'm afraid he's going to hate me."
Trent leaned against a couch armrest. "Why?" he prompted. "Did you do something wrong?"
"No," Blaine shook his head vehemently. "There's just... something I haven't told him, and I'm afraid he'll think I was... I don't know. Lying to him."
"You're not... You don't have... HIV or something, do you?"
"What?" Blaine spluttered, wholly unprepared for that sort of question. "No, I-" But he couldn't say it.
"It's okay," Trent held up his hands. "I wasn't asking. But, unless it's something that could hurt him or you... I don't see why it should matter."
"It changes things."
"Does it?"
"I'm not... like other guys."
"What, do you put on a cape and tights and go out prowling for crime each night?"
Blaine laughed, and it felt good. He shook his head.
"You're secretly a mutant who can melt into a puddle whenever he wants."
"That's Alex Mack, and the most ridiculous super power I've ever heard of."
"You have a secret past as a drag queen," Trent went on and stopped when he saw Blaine's face. "Wait. Do you have a secret past as a drag queen? I mean... Not that anything's wrong with-"
"I don't have a secret past as a drag queen," Blaine answered softly. "But I used to... I was born female."
"You what? No way."
Blaine nodded. "I don't have... It's not... I'm not a liar. I'm a guy. I haven't lied about anything, it's just... What if he doesn't see it that way?"
"You won't know until you tell him. If he loves you, he can forgive you for an omission like that."
"But if he... I'm sorry if this is TMI, but I haven't had any kind of surgery... down there. And Kurt is gay. Really, really gay."
"You're worried he won't be interested in you that way."
Blaine nodded, biting his lip. "He says he loves me, but he just... He has an image of me and what if he loves that image and not... me?"
"Well..." Trent seemed at a loss. "I wish I could tell you more than just that you won't know until you tell him. It sounds like you've sort of reached the point where his reaction isn't going to change if you get any closer. He loves you right, Blaine?"
Blaine only nodded. His throat was tight and it was painful to breathe around it.
"Then he's not going to hurt you."
"Maybe not intentionally."
"All I know is that he's a good guy, Blaine. And relationships are about trust, right? If you can't trust him to react well, you're doing a bad job of being in a relationship with him. Honestly, I can't picture him shunning you or... It might take some getting used to, but if he loves you, it shouldn't matter. Right?"
Blaine nodded, but he wasn't so sure. Maybe it shouldn't matter, but it did. It did to Blaine, so why shouldn't it matter to Kurt? He felt sick on the bus ride to Lima and he was painfully aware of what was in his pants. Trent seemed perfectly accepting of him, but Trent wasn't dating him. Trent didn't have to worry about what he looked like naked because he'd never have to see it. Blaine had to see it, and Blaine was bothered endlessly by it. It didn't happen too often anymore, but sometimes he could barely make it through his shower.
He just wanted to forget.
Luckily, Kurt answered the door with a smile and suddenly he did forget. He could easily get addicted to this.
"So, I was thinking," Kurt began, sitting sideways on the couch to face him, "I know how you love that blazer, but if you transferred to McKinley, you could spend all that tuition on a more... variable wardrobe. And, of course, we'd see each other all the time, and..."
"Kurt," Blaine smiled. "Dalton is my school. The Warblers are like my brothers. You're the only person I know at McKinley. I'd probably just follow you around like a lost puppy."
"I see no problem with that," Kurt teased.
"Of course not," Blaine laughed and was momentarily taken aback when Kurt pressed a brief kiss to his lips.
"I just miss you," Kurt shrugged, serious now. "I know it's sappy and... But I basically miss you any time you're not right here."
Blaine smiled self-consciously as he took Kurt's hands. "I'm not making any promises," he said, "but I'll think about it. I really will."
Kurt beamed. "I miss singing duets with you," he confessed.
"Then we'll have to sing together more often."
"We definitely would if you were in the New Directions..."
"Kurt."
"Okay, okay," Kurt conceded. "I'll shut up for a kiss."
Blaine leaned forward and happily obliged.
He had a lot to think about during the movie. What if he did transfer to McKinley for Kurt? What if he transferred schools for a boy that left him as soon as he found out? Worse- what if Kurt hated him so much for it that he told everyone? What if it was Westerville all over again?
But Kurt wouldn't do that. He'd never subject anyone to treatment like that.
Whether or not he'd still want to be romantically involved with Blaine... Trent was right. He'd never be certain until he told Kurt.
So the question was... Where could he possibly start to explain?