Nov. 4, 2012, 10:28 a.m.
We Are Stars: A Meeting
T - Words: 4,000 - Last Updated: Nov 04, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 13/13 - Created: Apr 22, 2012 - Updated: Nov 04, 2012 2,304 0 9 0 0
This is a story about fate.
It is a story about tiny tokens that come to tell a history, and discovering things when you were not looking. It is a story of how sometimes, things get lost, and no matter how hard you look, you cannot find them; how sometimes, things get lost, and they are so far gone that you give up looking. And how sometimes, those lost things are people, and sometimes, when you pause for a moment, you realise that the person who got lost was you.
This story is about searching. It is about signs, and soulmates. It is about serendipity.
This story takes place in Ohio, and Chicago, and New York City. It starts with a chance meeting, and goes on to involve a silk scarf, and a printed piece of music scattered across states, and one remarkable night. It is a story of two boys who become two men, and it is a story of the ways that the universe works. This story, like so many stories, is frustrating, and heartbreaking, and romantic as hell.
But this is not a love story.
Until it is.
*
Sometimes when the snow comes, the city shuts down.
These are the parts they don’t tell you.
Sometimes when the snow comes, the shoes you loved yesterday seem to have a personal vendetta against keeping you upright, and the fur collar on your coat looks more like a rat-gone-wrong than a viable fashion choice. When the snow comes, New Yorkers get angry, and everyone seems to be rushing even more than usual, the only goal to get from warm office block to the body heat of the subway as fast as humanly possible.
When the snow comes, it is nothing like the movies.
It falls in drops, not flakes, and if it settles, sure, it’ll look beautiful for a moment, and make everything seem just a little bit quiet, but then it’ll delay your bus, or make you slip, or maybe just make your nose cold, and you’ll remember why sometimes you despise December.
Three years ago, Kurt Hummel had treasured the snow.
Fresh from small town Ohio, walking around New York City in the winter, from his dream school to his dream apartment, skipping along Broadway with show tunes playing through his earbuds, wondering how on earth did I get so lucky?, he had really, truly, loved it. The things he knew he deserved were finally happening, and all it had taken was New York City, and a million miles, and the strength to start again. And it had worked. Oh god it had worked.
But that was three whole years ago.
Everyone had warned him that eventually he would be desensitized to the charms of the city, but he hadn’t believed them. Racing along 34th street in the snow, though, he had to admit that they had been right.
When had that happened?
He dodged the tourists, swerving with a scowl around a group of teenage girls who had obviously heard that New Yorkers loved it if you just stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk. And looked up.
Expecting civilization in midtown three days before Christmas probably hadn’t been his finest moment, he admitted internally, but he really had no choice. Between classes, and recitals, and his full time position talking Rachel Berry down from whatever metaphorical ledge she found herself on, he just hadn’t had time to buy any gifts. For the first time since he’d moved here, Kurt was trying to do the adult thing, and prove to his family that he was Grown Up And Responsible by inviting them to the city for Christmas. It had seemed like the best idea in August. Less so, he thought as he pushed his way in to the department store, now that their flight landed in a matter of hours.
The tinny festive sound track did nothing for his mood. Three years ago, he mused, he would have rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, and pretended to be above it all, but really he’d be sparkling at the thought of Christmas. It was, after all, a whole holiday practically dedicated to fairy lights, and glitter, and all those other things that were part of being Kurt Hummel.
But people change.
And now all he could do was make this ordeal as painless as possible, he thought as he darted towards the mens accessories department (the one benefit of NYADA’s compulsory dance classes? He could move fast). A new scarf for his dad, maybe, and then something (a wallet? Cufflinks?) for Finn. Then all he had to do was find a little token for Sebastian, a footnote to the main I-love-you, and he would be done.
And some things had not changed. Kurt Hummel still knew how to shop.
*
Blaine Anderson loved the snow. No matter how many times he visited the city, he never grew tired of the sight of Central Park under a blanket of white, and that feeling of silence-in-a-crowd that he hadn’t found anywhere else. He was freezing, granted, but it was Christmas, and some things are just bigger than the cold.
Blaine brushed the white flakes off his shoulders as he opened the door to the department store, recognizing the song playing immediately as it floated out, and began to hum quietly along. He shuddered as he closed the door behind him, the rush of warm air enveloping him like a perfect jigsaw hug. He’d bought most of his presents already, but he had hours to kill before his flight, and thought he might try to find something more for Dan. Just a little something to say “Thank you for letting me go to New York the week before Christmas to audition for a part we both know I wont get, and leaving you alone with my parents, and I really do love you, you know?”. Just…something like that.
He smiled at the thought of his boyfriend waiting for him back in Chicago, and had to stop himself from wishing the hours away until he’d be off the plane and ready to really begin his holiday. For now, Blaine was in his favourite city on earth, in the world’s greatest department store, buying a gift for the man he loved. And god he was going to enjoy it.
He headed straight for the accessories, kidding himself that Dan loved scarves, when everyone knew that really Blaine loved scarves, and Dan just loved Blaine. He dodged the tourists debating the finer points of warmth over fashion, darting his eyes quickly over the department, scanning for something he just had to buy.
He hadn’t even been thinking of gloves.
Every week day, Dan drove from their apartment to the planetarium where he worked. He spent the day inside, where it was always temperate, and then drove home. At the weekends, he had Blaine to keep him warm; fingers laced together, both hands squeezed in to one pocket. It was just how they worked. Dan didn’t need gloves.
But oh the gloves.
Blaine knew before he even touched them that the leather was softer than anything he owned. From where he stood, he could swear he saw a flash of velvet sneaking out from the lining, and he reached out to stroke them, grateful that he was one of those people who could get such joy from an inanimate object.
“Watch out!”
The voice snapped Blaine from his reverie as his hand collided with soft flesh, and no, that wasn’t a glove, that was a human, and where had he come from?
Blaine looked up, his fingers still teasing the bottom of the glove which was currently being tugged from his hand by this boy, who could be so pretty if he would just smile.
“Oh I’m sorry, here, take them, I’ll grab another pair”.
Blaine let go of the glove and smiled, a peace offering. Kurt faltered. Whoever this stupid overzealous stranger was, he was gorgeous. His hair was dark and curly, but somehow not wild. Instead it looked as if every strand had been placed where it fell. Kurt felt a warmth pooling in his stomach, and what was that? He took a step back.
“There isn’t another pair, hence the grabbing.”
Blaine screwed his face slightly at the stranger’s tone. It sounded forced, somehow, as if the irritation was something the boy had created as a defence rather than something he actually felt. Blaine wasn’t in the mood for a confrontation.
“You take them then”.
Blaine smiled again, and turned as if to walk away.
“Hey, wait”.
When Kurt looked back on this moment, he wouldn’t even remember deciding to speak. He was holding the gloves, and thinking about how relieved he would be to get out of this tourist trap, and then there was a shift, too small to even register, and he was asking this stranger to just turn around and give another second of his time.
“Wait…”
Kurt’s voice was softer this time, and Blaine spun back around.
“I don’t think my boyfriend would wear them anyway, no matter how I try to dress him like…well, me. You take them”.
Blaine raised an eyebrow.
“They were for your boyfriend? Mine too. And he doesn’t even wear gloves, like, at all, so please…”
He gestured towards the gloves, indicating for Kurt to just take them. Kurt smiled, and let himself meet Blaine’s eye for the first time. It was…disarming. He felt as if a question had been answered; a question he hadn’t even asked yet. Hadn’t even conceived.
They just looked at each other for a moment, and it occurred to Blaine how nice that was. How rare it was, actually, to just look at someone, without judgment or expectation. He picked up the gloves from where they had fallen among several similar pairs (none of which, he noted, had velvet lining. These gloves were Special), and held them out towards Kurt.
Kurt shook his head, fingering his scarf nervously (why did this stranger make him nervous? Good nervous.), but took the gloves from between Blaine’s fingers (and oh god that lining just snaking out was so soft). Instead of pocketing them, though, and turning to leave, he held them back towards Blaine.
“I just have this feeling that these gloves were meant for you.”
Blaine squinted. What?
“Its fate, right? I…without getting too deep…don’t think I’ve made anyone very happy lately. And now you’ve turned up, when I was reckoning on this being easy, and isn’t that a sign? You can’t fight fate…sorry what was your name?”
“Blaine”
“Can’t fight fate Blaine”.
Blaine smirked. He had always wished so hard he could believe in fate, and destiny, and everything happening exactly when it was supposed to. He had wished but never managed, and now this New York City stranger was holding out this mesh of leather and velvet as if it was a chance.
“And what makes you think fate didn’t stop me from arriving two minutes earlier because I was meant to convince you to take the gloves?” Blaine asked, relaxing in to himself now; enjoying himself a little bit.
“Do you believe in fate?” Kurt shot back, and the shake of Blaine’s head was so slight it was almost imperceptible, but Kurt was straight on it.
“A-ha! See! Fate has sent me, a believer, if you will, to make sure that you, with all your cynicism towards the power of destiny, do not let these gloves get away”.
Kurt picked up the gloves and handed them to Blaine with a flourish. He felt strangely alive, standing in the middle of a New York City department store (was he that distracted that he had almost forgotten how bad that was?), three days before Christmas, talking to a stranger about fate and destiny.
Blaine laughed, and accepted the gloves, his toes curling slightly as he took them and the leather pressed against his skin.
“Let me buy you a coffee then, to say thanks?”
Kurt blinked. Coffee. That was such a life-thing. Coffee was mornings with Sebastian, and stale kisses before they had time to brush their teeth. Coffee was Sundays in Brooklyn with Rachel, walking across the bridge talking about music, and old friends, and always dreams. Coffee was every single day, between classes, and after school. He knew coffee, and it just reminded him how much he did not know chance meetings with perfect strangers, or smiling in the midtown snow, or flirting in department stores with men who weren’t his boyfriend.
Kurt shook his head almost involuntarily. But it was true what they said about New York City: the lights could make you lonely.
“Come on, just a coffee. We both have boyfriends who we love, right?”
Kurt nodded.
“So just a coffee”.
Blaine’s face was so soft as he spoke. Kurt pulled his fingers through his hair and exhaled. This was ridiculous. He was desperately in love with Sebastian, and his family, who he hadn’t seen in months, arrived in a matter of hours, and this was New York. People didn’t have time to just drop everything and go for coffee with a gorgeous stranger. And if they did, the stranger would probably turn out to be crazy and Kurt’s poor dad would have to spend Christmas searching for his son’s remains, and wouldn’t that just ruin everything? So why wasn’t he walking away?
“I don’t know what you want me to say to you…” Kurt sighed as he spoke, and the result was a certain breathlessness, as if Blaine had caught him unawares and forced him to speak. That was kind of how Kurt felt, actually. Entirely…shaken.
Blaine pulled the thin piece of plastic holding the gloves together until it snapped. He took one and handed it to Kurt.
“Fate, right? Destiny? If it’s trying to show us something, isn’t it kind of our responsibility to let it?” Blaine knew he was being obnoxious, and let his tongue dart out from between his lips as he spoke, the gesture of a playful child, or a cheeky 22-year-old who thought he could still get away with such things.
“I suppose….” Kurt was smiling now.
“Just say yes”.
He did.
*
They walked a few blocks until they found a place that neither of them had been before. That was important, Kurt said. If this was an exercise in what-fate-can-do, it would be unfair for them to start in a place where one of them had a history.
And This Was An Experiment, Kurt had decided. This was not a date, or a new friendship, or anything like that. This was one chance meeting, and when it was over, they would both walk away, maybe having learnt something, but probably having just wasted an hour. This was a game of Fate now, and whatever was supposed to happen…would.
“So what do you do?” Blaine asked as he pulled the rickety chair from underneath the table.
Kurt shook his head.
“Uh-uh. I don’t think this is about us, I think this is about life, so no details. No surnames, no professions, no details at all. If fate wants us to know all that stuff, we’ll find out anyway”.
Blaine snorted, but nodded. Ok. That sounded fun.
“Ok, so…you have a boyfriend, right?”
“Careful…” Kurt advised, but he nodded.
“Do you want to get married?”
Kurt considered the question for a moment, pondering both his answer, and whether he should be answering at all given their ‘no details’ rule.
“Yeah…” he admitted eventually, and Blaine smiled.
“To him?”
Kurt shrugged his shoulders once.
“I don’t know, I’m young”.
Blaine understood that.
“I’m not allowed to ask how old, am I?”
Kurt grinned.
“Nice try. Do you? Marriage, I mean”.
“Yeah” he confessed.
“To…yours?”
Blaine nodded.
“He’s a great guy. I mean, he let me fly to New York the week before Christmas and leave him alone with my parents for three days…that’s a keeper, right?”
“So you’re from out of town?” Kurt asked before he could stop himself.
Blaine hestitated.
“Ok, youre right, don’t answer that” Kurt spoke quickly, and Blaine was surprised to find himself feeling relieved. It was nice to be free of detail, for once. For right now, he was just Blaine, who was from nowhere, and did nothing, and loved everybody and nobody, and that was…nice.
“No details…” Kurt continued.
“Where is your favourite place in the world?” Blaine blurted out, and Kurt looked surprised.
“The Wollman Rink, I think, in Central Park. I love that you can be surrounded by trees, and nature, and still see skyscrapers. I love that you can drink hot chocolate, and skate, and laugh, and I love that on a clear night you can see the stars”.
Kurt looked bashful, and Blaine racked his brain for something to say; something that would make Kurt keep on talking, and keep the red in his cheeks, and the smile playing across his lips.
“Stars?” Blaine asked
Kurt nodded.
“I kind of…believe in all that astrology stuff, hence the fate and destiny talk that got us here in the first place.”
He was interrupted by the waiter bringing their coffee. They busied themselves, stirring sugar into milky lattes, and sipping and mixing until their drinks were exactly right.
“So” Blaine asked again, licking the froth from his teaspoon, “Stars?”
“Oh right, yes. And this is the no-details version, remember. So I kind of believe in astrology, and the stars aligning, and all that stuff. I kind of believe that the stars are like the puzzle pieces, and one day, when they’re all in place, whether that be for a person or for the universe as a whole, the most incredible things will happen. And I can tell by the look on your face that you don’t agree with me, so please do share…”
He trailed off.
“I agree with the bit about alignment, and things coming together” Blaine began, leaning across the table and closer to Kurt.
“I wish I could believe in stars, and fate, and destiny, and I mean really believe, and be assured that one day, no matter how much I get it wrong or mess up, the stars will all end up in just the right place, and everything will be fine for me. I’m just…I’m not there yet. Like I said though, I do believe in the right elements all coming together. I do believe that it takes a whole combination of things to make something perfect, and I really do believe that sometimes perfect things can happen. But I think we, as humans, are the stars you talk about. We are the elements that have to move, and shift, and change, and we’re the ones who have to make sure we end up in the right place. It’s a puzzle, like you say. I just think we’re the pieces”.
Kurt didn’t realise he was staring until he forced himself to stop. He didn’t realise that his jaw had gone slack, or that his hands were gripping the edge of the table tightly.
“I think in a parallel world I’d be falling in love with you”.
Oh wow. He didn’t realise he was about to say that.
He pulled back from the table, knocking his knee into the underside and splashing coffee on to the tablecloth.
“I’m sorry, I have no idea where that came from”.
Blaine was shaking his head frantically, and wiping at the spilled coffee with his sleeve.
“Its fine, Kurt. You were just…its fine. Let me just pay for these and we should go”.
Blaine stood up and motioned for a waiter, while Kurt busied himself gathering his things.
“You’re right, I should get back…Sebastian will be wondering where I am”.
Because yeah. There was Sebastian. Who he loved.
Blaine handed the waiter a $20 bill, and turned his attention back to Kurt.
“Well Kurt, no surname, who has great taste in gloves, it was really great to meet you”.
Blaine held out his hand, and Kurt shook it quickly.
“You too. Thank you for the coffee. And enjoy the gloves!”
Kurt was already half way out of the coffee shop as he spoke, waving over his shoulder to the disarming stranger who had stolen away his evening, although admittedly not without permission. He stepped out on to the snow-dipped sidewalk, and suddenly all his irritations and worries from hours before came flooding back. He walked quickly, dodging the tourists, his steps pronounced to avoid slipping in the boots he had loved yesterday, and could not stand today. He was halfway down the steps to the subway when he reached up and realised his scarf was missing.
Shit.
For a tiny second, he considered cutting his losses and just going home. He thought of his warm apartment, and his waiting boyfriend, and felt his feet inching forward, desperate to just get there.
But then he thought of Marc Jacobs. He loved that scarf. Sighing, he spun on his heel, and began to walk back towards the coffee shop.
*
Blaine felt unbalanced as he walked towards Times Square. It was still early, and his flight wasn’t for hours, so he thought he might try and catch a show, or grab some food. The temperature had dropped, and he groped around in his messenger bag for the Macy’s carrier bag; surely Dan wouldn’t mind if he kept himself warm with the heaven-sent gloves?
Except…they weren’t there.
Shit. He must have left them on the table.
Blaine sighed. If he went back, he’d be too late for any 8pm curtains. Maybe, he thought wryly, this was fate’s way of telling him that the gloves were meant for Kurt after all.
But they were so beautiful. At least he had noticed while he was still in New York. He imagined Dan’s face when he presented him with the gloves; lit up, not because he loved them, but because Blaine did. And Dan loved Blaine.
Blaine turned back in the direction he had come, and tried to smile as he made his way back towards the coffee shop.
*
Kurt wasn’t paying attention as he strode across the room to the table they had been seated at. He wasn’t paying attention as he crouched down and retrieved his scarf from where it was wrapped around the leg of his chair. He wasn’t paying attention as he stood back up, and collided hard with a warm body.
With Blaine.
Kurt was struck dumb. Really?
Blaine held up the gloves in silence, justifying his return. Kurt nodded.
“We should do something”
Again, Kurt wasn’t aware he was about to speak until the words were out, but this time they were right.
Blaine was silent.
“We should do something” Kurt said again, and this time, Blaine took a step closer, and nodded, small, quiet.
“What did you have in mind?” he almost whispered, and Kurt didn’t even let himself question why his heart was dancing.
“I think that everybody, no matter who they are, should stay up all night in New York City once in their life”.
Blaine laughed, just one single chuckle, and Kurt felt warm.
“Me and you? Tonight?”
Blaine sounded confused, and Kurt wondered for a second if he had overstepped, and taken this wonderful thing from real to just…really weird. But Blaine was smiling, and yeah, Kurt thought, this was a good idea.
“Are we doing this?”
Blaine’s voice was still barely above a whisper, yet it was so clear to Kurt, even in the bustle of a busy coffee shop, in a busy city, on a busy night.
Kurt reached out and took Blaine’s wrist in his hand.
“Its like you said, Blaine. Just say yes”.
He did.
Comments
I ve been reading this fic from the start, I simply loved the concept. Its just different but when will you update? I had to ask after waiting so lone.
Thanks so much!SOON, I promise! This week! Aiming for Wednesday, but it could be any time before then and Sunday.Sorry for the wait! x
Hi, Thank You for finally updating. I read them at first opportunity but just got the time to review and tell you that I have read way to many fanfics & I can honestly say that your style of writing is impressive. =) a big round of applause for you !
I just finished this. I honestly feel bad for my twitter followers because of how many times I've tweeted this link. I was looking for something new to read, and searched under the keyword 'love' to see what I would find. I guess it was fate that I found this (;Anyway, I don't usually write reviews, but for this I had to. This is one of the best fics I have ever read. It's rare that I'll read something and it will actually change the way I look at things in the course of an hour or two. Starting tomorrow I'm going to be more observant. Seeing how much Blaine and Kurt missed while not even knowing it made me wonder what I've missed out on. I'm going to be more open to what fate has in store for me (:So thank you for writing this. It was so beautifully written. I laughed, I cried, I flailed, I screamed, and I smiled. I do not have enough kind words for this piece. <3-Carter(:
Ha! 11:11pm!Just had to add that in ;p
Stunning. I don't even know how else to describe this. I started reading it at 10:30 pm and that was a horrible idea. I could not stop reading because it was all so beautifully written.
Darren Criss' "Don't You" is THE PERFECT SONG for this fic!
Wow. I can't stop smiling. This story just felt really good. Thanks.
this was a great story...very well written..keep up the good work