March 12, 2012, 6:59 p.m.
Far From Here: A Klaine Tumblr AU: Chapter 5
K - Words: 1,842 - Last Updated: Mar 12, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 18/? - Created: Jan 07, 2012 - Updated: Mar 12, 2012 1,461 0 0 0 0
Pulling his laptop onto his lap and curling into his covers, Blaine clicked Kurt’s name happily and wrote a simple.
Blaine Anderson: You’re online!
The second thing that tipped him off that there was something wrong was the pause. Blaine was used to waiting a bit for Kurt to reply, though. It seemed to him that while he always replied immediately, probably because the second he heard the noise that there was another message he was already typing a reply; he always had to wait at least a minute for Kurt to. Regardless of how long it usually took Kurt to reply, Blaine noticed a considerable amount of time had gone by, seeing as he had hopped back onto his dashboard and been able to reblog two Harry Potter gifs before he heard the ‘ping’ meaning Kurt had replied.
Kurt Hummel: Yeah, sorry. I was baking.
He’d learned a few things about Kurt in the couple weeks they’d been speaking to each other. He’d learned that Kurt hardly ever talked about himself, and that whenever he wanted to avoid talking about something he would bring up something that he knew would distract Blaine, such as Harry Potter, or he would simply avoid the subject all together. He’d learned that although he liked to eat healthily, he actually wasn’t a fan of a lot of vegetables. He’d learned that his favorite color was actually white and that his prize possession was his entire jacket collection.
But he’d also learned that aside from when he had to, Kurt only baked when something was bothering him. And that was how Blaine was positive he wasn’t being paranoid and that something really was wrong with Kurt. Or at least that something was bothering him.
There was a lump in his throat as he typed his reply back, and his heart somehow felt heavier than it had a minute later.
Blaine Anderson: Something up? Or just someone’s birthday…
That pause was there again, and Blaine tried to picture Kurt on the other side of the screen, a world away in a small town in Ohio. He wondered what he looked like right now, what he was wearing, if he was biting down on his lip like he had seen him do one time before in one of his videos. Blaine wondered if Kurt’s fingers were hovering over the keyboard. He let out a heavy sigh before seeing the reply.
Kurt Hummel: Don’t worry about it. It’s fine.
But he couldn’t not worry. Every day he spoke more to Kurt, the more he cared. The more he wanted to know about him. Blaine wasn’t sure how similar Kurt’s life in high school was to the way his had been back in the states, back before his father had been transferred to Italy. His heart grew heavier thinking about that time in his life, and he shook his head. He hoped to everything that Kurt had a better time in high school than he had back in the U.S.
Blaine Anderson: But something’s up, right? Kurt…look…I know we sort of don’t really know each other, but you do know that you can tell me anything, right? I mean, it’s not like I’m going to go telling people…
He had a point, and he hoped that got across to Kurt. Blaine was all the way in Rome, and there was literally no way for him to tell anyone anything that Kurt told him. Not only that but…Blaine wondered if Kurt felt as close to him as he felt to the boy, although he knew that he was keeping his fair share of ‘secrets’ from the boy.
The reply came a good couple minutes later.
Kurt Hummel: Yeah, I know that. But Blaine, I don’t want to talk about it. It’s nothing.
Blaine Anderson: Obviously it’s not nothing, though, Kurt. If you don’t want to talk about it, it’s something.
His reply was out in a second, and Blaine almost cringed at how harsh the words sounded. His heart was racing though, and the lump in his throat was growing bigger.
Kurt Hummel: Blaine, you wouldn’t understand.
What wouldn’t he understand? Blaine had been bullied, Blaine had a father who basically only ever let him go out if he lied and said he had a date with a girl. Blaine knew what it was like to move from one place to another. He knew what it was like to be the loser, although he had to admit that things were going considerably good for him now. But Blaine knew he could understand a lot of things, but he just wondered why Kurt felt so isolated that he couldn’t talk about it.
Blaine Anderson: Try me. Kurt, I bet I would. Just…talk to me.
There was a long pause, and Blaine tried to remember what it was like for himself when he had been bullied. He remembered the way he had tried to talk to people. The way he had gone out of his way to look for people who might care, but he simply ignored it all. He took in a deep breath, silently wishing into the darkness of the room that Kurt, his best friend, wasn’t going through the same shit he had been.
Kurt Hummel: You know, I’m usually really good with the things that they call me. I just say something back that’s witty and they’d usually shut up. But it was just words before.
Kurt Hummel: I just feel like everyone is blind towards…bullying. I hate that word, though. It’s ugly. But it feels like I’m invisible except to the guys who call me things, who make my life a constant hell. And I really just don’t want to go to people because I’m not sure what they can do to help. Blaine, even if they could stop them, that doesn’t change the world. That doesn’t change the fact that everywhere we go, people like us are going to be called words and get thrown against lockers…
Kurt Hummel: What’s the point in trying, Blaine?
Kurt Hummel: And I completely understand if you don’t feel like talking anymore or if you want to go to bed because you don’t want to deal with me.
Blaine read Kurt’s words over, before taking a deep breath. His hand had curled up into a fist, and he hadn’t even realized it had been from anger as he read the words. He’d hoped…he’d hoped hard that Kurt hadn’t gone through something similar.
But apparently the world hadn’t changed, no matter where they were.
Blaine Anderson: Kurt, don’t be like that. I would never just leave like that. Unless my dad comes in and takes away my laptop, I would never just leave. I’m your friend. And…friends talk.
He took a deep breath, and kept writing, trying to keep his fingers from trembling. It was a lot easier to feign confidence over the internet than in person, and for once he was glad that they were so far apart, even if something inside of him wished he could reach out for Kurt’s hand and squeeze it.
Blaine Anderson: I never told you, but I was taunted when I lived in the states. They…they were awful, Kurt. I remember the things they said. And I know that I’d still be going through the same crap if my dad hadn’t been transferred here…But, I know people ignore it, and I know that it seems that the world won’t change but…
Even in Rome, the ‘holy city’, life was better here for gays. Sure, he wasn’t going to go strolling down the streets with his boyfriend, (not that he had one, because Blaine didn’t) but he could admit that he was. He knew a world beyond that of a small town, and right now he wanted to reach out through the screen, take Kurt’s hand (which he could only imagine as soft) and pull him through the screen and to a world slightly more accepting.
Blaine Anderson: There are places, like my school, that doesn’t care. There are people that honestly don’t care. Look at your dad…he’s amazing, Kurt. From what I hear, at least. You just…need to understand that. And you can’t give up.
Blaine Anderson: And if you ever feel like you want to, you know that you can just sign on and I should be online…
There was a pause, a long, long pause and Blaine was scared that he had crossed a line, that he had said too much and Kurt was afraid. He wanted to backspace everything, he wanted to crawl into his covers and disappear, make the night disappear and erase all the bad thoughts going through Kurt’s head; erase his own memories of being taunted.
But when he looked up, there was a message from Kurt, and it was simply a link.
Kurt hadn’t been sure if he should do it. He’d read over Blaine’s messages at least ten times, trying to partly see through the tears that had returned but also understand where he was coming from. How had he been so insensitive as to think that Blaine was any luckier than he was. Perhaps he had just wished he was luckier.
But at the twelfth reading of his messages, Kurt knew what he wanted to do. He felt so vulnerable, and he honestly felt like he was crushed. But there was something in his heart that told him he wanted to do this. He wanted to show Blaine something he couldn’t bring himself to show anyone.
He opened tumblr, and went to post a picture. Clicking on ‘take a photo!’, (he resented the exclamation mark) Kurt wiped away his tears and sniffled, trying to look somewhat presentable. Clicking the image of his tear stained, somewhat red eyes, he watched as the numbers went down from 3 to 1. A small smile crawled onto his lips at the last second.
The picture was blurry, and you could hardly make out that he had been crying, which he was actually happy about. His fingers worked slowly as he wrote underneath.
‘Blaine. Thank you. Just…thank you.’
However, before hitting ‘create post’ and sending the link to Blaine instead of tagging his name in it like he usually did to posts he wanted the dark haired boy to see, Kurt went to the tags and wrote, making himself smile as he did
‘Go sleep. We’ll talk more tomorrow. Promise.’
And it was a promise. Kurt didn’t want to push him away again. He didn’t want to push the one person who could make him open up when he felt like crumbling down. He couldn’t lose someone so important.