
Jan. 1, 2012, 5:34 a.m.
Jan. 1, 2012, 5:34 a.m.
I swallowed and opened my mouth. I honestly tried to speak. I felt like I could in front of Kurt, as Kurt wouldn't judge me. But the words wouldn't come out. I tried, going red as I looked more and more of a fool in front of Kurt.
But he just smiled softly. He took up a notebook and pen, holding it out to me. I wrote my name, and then I couldn't stop writing, spilling my secrets to this total stranger.
My name is Blaine Anderson. I don't speak. I haven't uttered a word in two months. Not even to my Mom and Dad. Not since I came out at school as gay. My friends rejected me. Bullies targeted me. I've been called a faggot more times than I can count. I don't bother speaking anymore, because no one listens. My parents try to understand, but they can't. The school have never cared. I feel alone. And I'm frightened.
I flushed as I realized what I'd written, holding the notebook against my chest. But he smiled at me again, and held out his hand, letting me hand him the notebook in my own time. I slowly took the notebook away from my chest, handing it to him, not really sure why I was telling all these things to someone I'd just met.
He just read the note, and then looked up at me. He started to speak. 'I'm the only openly gay boy at my school. I've been thrown into lockers and had a slushie in the face more times than I can count. But you know why I'm not the hollow shell that you have become? Because I have my friends. And I sing. Whenever I feel low, I sing about how I'm feeling. Do you think you can do that for me, Blaine?
I hesitated, and then nodded slowly. Singing wasn't the same as speech. Kurt knows how I feel. I can do this in front of him. I looked at my knees, starting to sing softly.
I was alone in the dark
Never let down my guard
Closed the curtain on my heart
So the world could not see
All the demons in me
Told myself I was free
Then you showed me how wrong I could be
Now I'm standing on a mountain of rubble
That once was a wall
Took years to build around me
And you came along
And you tore it down
Like it was nothing at all
Now it's a little scary
Learning to fall
When you looked in my eyes
Past the fear and false pride
You saw goodness inside
I can't believe how I feel
I believe love is real
And I'm ready to heal
You show me how right I can be
I was holding on, now I'm letting go
I was holding on, now I'm letting go
I was holding on, now I'm letting go
I hadn't realized I'd started crying. But his hands were on my face, wiping away tears gently. 'You have a wonderful voice' he told me. 'Do you think, if we went to your parents, you could sing that for them? I'm sure they'd love to hear your voice again.' Somehow I found myself nodding. And that's how I found myself stood in my front room, Kurt sat on the sofa beside my Mom, singing softly. My Mom burst into tears and hugged me, and my Dad patted me on the shoulder.
My Mom looked at Kurt in wonder 'How did you do it?' Kurt smiled 'I simply encouraged him to find another outlet for his emotions. I also think it would benefit for him to transfer, Mrs Anderson. There's a Glee club at my high school. He could sing all he wanted. Please, just think about it.' And with that, he left.
And that's how, the next week, I was walking through the doors of McKinley High School for the first time.