The nights grew warmer and Kurt and I grew closer. I felt like the animal blood was the only thing holding me back but I was too afraid to try and drink human blood. Kurt kissed me and bid me farewell as I left for my breakfast.
I wasn't even in the mood to hunt, it took to much energy and after the late nights I've been enjoying with Kurt, I needed as much energy that I could get. Which just brought us back to the reason I was hunting in the first place.
I wanted badly to switch over to human blood, I remembered how carefree Rachel would drink hers, while I had a mug of coffee she would have one of blood. We worked well together because she could control herself. Kurt doesn't even keep blood in the loft.
I finished feeding and returned home just as Kurt did. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and we walked in together. When we arrived on our floor the same time an older woman left her apartments. She looked at us for a moment before her eyes really in fear. I casted my eyes away, with the basic assumption that she was just another homophobic woman looking at Kurt and I like we were the devil in the flesh.
Kurt however sped up and pulled me along side him. She steps back a few steps as we pass her, she was muttering something in a different language. Kurt opened the door and nudged me in shutting it quickly and locking it.
"That was weird...." I commented.
"She knew," Kurt said staring at the floor.
"I didn't know homophobes bothered you." I waited for him to look at me. He didn't he simple shook his head and ran his hand through his hair.
"No, Blaine, she knew we were vampires." He explained.
"Oh," I muttered then realized what that meant. "Oh, wow that's not good.... how? Why? I thoughts vampires most important, and only rule really, was secrecy."
"No, she is probably related to a werewolf, or was in a tribe that a vampire used in the past and the stories of our existent was passed down to generation after generation. Don't get near her, don't try to talk to her, she might even be a witch."
"Okay, I wont." I said he looked up at me and gave me a soft smile.
"How was hunting?" He asked.
"I actually want to talk to you about that. I think I want to switch back to human blood." I said.
"If that's what you want. I can pick up blood bags to start you off." He said giving me look that made me nervous, "can I ask why?"
I should have told him, I felt a void not hunting together, but I knew he wouldn't want me to do anything unless it was just for me. "I'm tired of chasing my food." I joked at first making him frown so I just started rambling. "I'm about to be a year and I've only had blood for 4 of these months, and i don't rip animals anymore so maybe I'm not a ripper, and it was just the newborn frenzy. And being afraid for the rest of my existence doesn't sound appealing at all."
"Fine, lets go now, while you're full so you don't over indulge." Kurt said.
I swallowed hard, "okay..." why was I suddenly nervous. Not even ten minutes ago I was thrilled with the idea.
Kurt does Have a point though, I should do it while the monster inside me is at bay. I'm not a ripper... I'm not a monster. I gave him a soft smile and followed him out the door.
I kept repeating "I'm not a monster." To myself as we strolled down the street side by side. We walked past a small book store and in the window was a book by Friedrich Nietzsche. If Kurt wasn't walking so fast and so determined I would have gone in to buy it. Nietzsche Is one of all time favorite writers. His work always seems to relate to my life, even in this very moment he would say, "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."
I've been fighting this monster since I was changed. And though hunter made fun of me, drinking animal blood actually gave me a chance to teach myself how to feed. Even when I was human and dreaming this life, I saw the monster, he only had a mouth, no face no expression. It made sense why I was so terrified when I found out that monster was me. I'm stronger then I think, I wont become the monster.
Kurt and I go to the woods and I had a strange sense of deja vu, like my first time feeding was happening all over again. I was unsure what do first so I just looked up at Kurt.
"I'll go grab someone for you, remember bite don't chew." He held my face and kissed me just before leaving. I looked around the forest for a moment making sure we were truly alone, Kurt came back with a man wearing all black. Kurt stood emotionless as I stared at the confused man.
I took a deep breath inhaling his scent and smiling as I let the vampire inside me wake. My fangs ran out and my eyes turned red. The man was just about to scream but I grabbed him, covered his mouth, and sank my teeth into his throat.
As his blood touched my tongue I felt a change. His blood was ecstasy and my body reacted to it in seconds. I began to suck his blood rushing into my mouth faster then animals would with half the work.
I lifted my head with a wide grin and looked at Kurt, "want some?"I asked licking my lips.
He shook his head and I returned to the dying man. I sucked harder and hard and once the blood started to slow, I bit him again only to quickly stop myself. There is no need to search for more blood. I'm done. I told myself locking my jaw trying to calm down. My body felt as thought it had been lit on fire, I felt like I could shoot sparks from my fingertips.
I opened my eyes and laughed, "that was amazing!" I shouted. Kurt laughed and smiled. I walked over and kissed him passionately, "thank you." I said his lips were softer and the taste of blood on my tongue disappeared as his taste washed over me.
"You did that yourself Blaine, I just believed in you." He said.
"Lets get out of here," I said. Kurt nodded his head, grabbing the man and disappearing for a moment only to return seconds later smelling like the lake. He took my hand and we sped off, running even felt different!
Once home, I threw Kurt up against the door and started kissing him roughly. I used my hands to rip open his shirt. He went right along with me, lifting my leg grinding his hip into mine. I let out a hot moan over Kurt's mouth. He changed our positions on the door pressing me to the door as he grinds his half hard erection into mine. He lifted my other leg and wrapped them around his waist as he lifted off the wall and we left to the room where we fucked all afternoon long.
Alexia and hunter were coming over, so against my pleas, we showered and got ready for the night. Kurt was in the bedroom when I was fixing myself up.
I had this odd feeling while styling my hair, almost like my reflection was staring back at me. It was not the abyss I was expecting but sure enough when the door buzzed I turns and my reflection didn't.
I sucked in a sharp breath and stared at myself, or who ever of was in the mirror. I closed my eyes and shook my head, my mind was just playing tricks on me. I opened them back up and the image in the mirror smirked at me just before smiling and blood running out of its mouth. I lost my balance while taking steps back and stumbled, Kurt knocked on the door and called out, "are you going to keep everyone waiting?" He asked.
"Give me a second ...." I called listening to him leave the room. I stood up and for a moment my reflection back to normal. I took a step forward and just as I did the reflection was staring at me again.
I practically ran out of the bathroom terrified by my current mental state. I was hallucinating on human blood. How odd, a vampire that trips off human blood. I caught my reflection staring at me as I pasted reflecting objects, by the time I got to the living room I was trembling and nervous.
Alexia was so excited to see me she ran and jumped in my arms. It was only a week since I saw her last but she was very animated about seeing me.
"You look different Blaine..." of course hunter would notice right away. My skin had natural colors to it now, and my body reacted quickly. I'm sure I even smelt different.
Alexia lets me go and looks at me, "you do look different healthy for sure but its more than that...." she said. I looked to Kurt who gave me a nod of encouragement and calmly said.
"I drink human blood now."
Both of their faces were blank then hunter looked proud of me and Alexia looked worried for me. I caught my reflection in the window and saw the monster smiling and laughing.
I quickly averted my eyes to hunter and waited for someone to speak. "Why?" Alexia said.
"I just feel like I've got things under control plus with Kurt I know do, and I love hunting with him." I said smiling a bit at him.
"That's fucking awesome! So when are we hitting the bars Blaine?" Hunter said.
"Not any time soon..." Kurt and I said at the same time. "I still kill my feed, don't really have an off switch." I finished.
"Hey that's cool with me, I haven't killed in years! I'll play on your field." He said over zealous.
"Okay, but not tonight I'm stuffed and weren't we playing human tonight seeing that comedian." I replied.
"This is true." Alexia said, "its human night, and hunter that makes you my date."
I never noticed the crush Alexia had on hunter, he is usually such an ass she ignores him but since Kurt reminded him of his maker he has been a lot nicer.
He smiled at her, "you're picking out dinner then." He replied and headed towards the door. Kurt took my hand and we followed the two out, I caught my reflection in the mirror as we left and he was screaming at me. I looked downward but that didn't help I felt something inside me kicking and thrashing just like the mirror image.
I hoped the feelings would pass soon. I wasn't cut out for this kind of self tortured.
When we arrived at the Theater, I couldn't focus on a damn thing. The humans around me smelt so good, and anytime I looked for too long they would start bleeding. I wasn't okay, but I also wasn't going to ruin everyone's night. I held Kurt's hand staring at his ring while we walked into the quickly filling theater. I sat on the most inside seat and closed my eyes.
I had to get it together, I felt like I hadn't eaten in years, and I wanted nothing more then to just close my eyes and sleep.
I felt like I was in a bad sitcom, the cookie cutter laughs and strong rounds of applauds had be at the edge of my seat. I wanted nothing more then to lock the doors and drain each and every body in this theater.
The show finally ended and I needed a drink so bad my head was going to explode if I didn't get a drop of blood that second. "I'm going to step out side for some fresh air." I muttered walking towards an exit.
I went the back way and to my luck there was already a young guy just getting off the phone when I walked out.
I didn't give him a chance to even scream, or run in terror. I threw him against the wall covered his mouth and bit down hard into his neck.
I sucked, the blood was like water to fire it cooled me down. I sucked harder, feeling him fight against me his distress was delicious! his fight slower down much like his blood and I bit him again gnawing at his artery until I was pulled off him.
"Blaine listen to me!" Kurt was holding me upright and for some reason I lost control. I started thrashing against him trying to break free.
He fought me back holding me again at the wall trying to get me to look at him. The blood in the air had me go insane I needed to calm down but I had no control of my self.
"Stop breathing Blaine, I need you to control yourself, I know you can, I've seen you do it." Kurt words broke through and I finally snapped.
My fangs retracted and I no longer had a blood lust that consumed me. "I'm fine." I muttered, "I'm sorry." I said to him still trying to keep my composure.
"I need to dispose of this body." He said quickly, he let me go and I slid to the ground. He was gone in a blink of an eye, and when I looked up I saw Alexia and Hunter looking over the stair well at me. I couldn't face them, how much did they see? I stood and disappeared into the night.