"Coop," I heard Blaine whimper beside me.
"What is it?" I asked keeping my eyes closed.
"I had a bad dream." He stuttered.
"You’re a little too old to climb into bed for every bad dream you have Blaine." I told him.
"Please," he begged, "this will be the last time."
I scooted back in my bed to give Blaine some room. He eagerly climbed into bed and hugged me. "Thank you."
“What did you dream?” I asked half sleep.
“I was alone…” he barely muttered, I almost didn’t hear all the words.
“You’re never alone Blaine,” I assured him, “Go back to sleep.”
“Okay…”
I made a noise of approval just as sleep pulled me back in her clutches. I woke up nearly an hour later to Blaine shaking like a leaf. I sat up a bit and looked over at him his face was clenched in pain as sweat dewed across his forehead. I shook him awake softly, "Blaine-y, wake up."
He gasped and shot his eyes open flinching from my hand. "It’s okay, I'm here now," he started crying and I pulled him and tried to calm him down.
"Talk to Blaine," I said after a few minutes of his shaking sobs. “What is giving you night mares?”
“It never stops, the kicking the pain I can’t hide from it, they always find me.” He sobbed, “And you never come.”
“I'm here now. I won’t let anyone hurt you, or take up away from me.” I promised. He sat up to sniffled and wiped his eyes.
"Why do you pretend you're happy here?" Blaine asked me.
"I am happy Blaine; I'm with you that's all that matters." I told him.
"That's not what I mean. Coop," Blaine replied.
I sat up, "then what do you mean?"
He took a deep breath, “you had a future be for all of this. You don’t belong here, neither of us do. Stop acting, I don’t believe you anymore."
His words stung like a thousand knives. I felt my eyes prick with tears there was a void I put after that dance. Being told Blaine was...gone was the hardest thing I've been through in my life. "Blaine I can't."
He moved away from me. "No cooper you won’t," Blaine said, "you don’t understand, every night I see it all over again. And you aren't helping me, you--you’re hiding."
"I don't know anything anymore." I nearly shouted at him. "Real life is a blur, why are you putting all this together now?"
"I want to get away, from all of this." Blaine said throwing his hands up.
"You...you want to get away from, me?" I asked.
"No, I don't want to be the burden holding you back anymore." He stuttered.
"What is this about? Blaine you aren't a burden! You are my brother," I declared.
"What about Olivia?" He said quietly looking at the door.
"What about her?"
"You love her; don't you want to have a life?" Blaine asked. “Just image, you and her doing the whole Family man thing like we always dreamed about.”
"Blaine, I don't want anything if you're around for it." I told him.
He stared at me, running his hand through his hair he spoke softly, "you actually think I'm dead."
"I told you, I don't know what is real anymore..." I confessed.
"Listen to me, I am alive. Mom was lying, you were put in here before my so called 'funeral' she has never come to see us. You have to know that I may not understand why you are the only that can see me, but I'm sure it is because you know the truth."
"But no one believes me." I declared.
"Then find someone who will." He walked back to his couch and lied down.
"Blaine," I started, but he shook his head and turned his back to me.
I couldn't go back to sleep. My mind was stuck on that day when mom told me Blaine didn't make the first 48. We sat and cried in that hall for nearly an hour. I walked back into Blaine's room and saw him; the first thing he told me was Kathryn is lying. I thought he was a ghost or something until he touched me. That alone was enough to tell Kathryn what I was seeing. She was terrified and sent me to level 2 of Westerville Mental Hospital. Dr. Johnson put me on medicine and within 5 months Blaine was gone, my subconscious didn’t see him or feel him. Even thought that was all I wanted. I believed he was dead, I truly thought he was gone forever. I didn’t have much of a life worth living if he couldn’t celebrate all the checkpoints with me.
Call me selfish for trying to kill myself but Blaine saved, I opened my eyes and he was right there, terrified I was trying to kill myself, made me promise id never do it again. But Kathryn didn’t know what else to do with me, she refused to talk about Blaine and threw me back in here to me silent. Olivia made things nice; I had a friend with her, and my brother who liked her too. Now he wants me to pick between them and honestly is getting upset if I pick him.
The life he and I planed the night I turned 18, I was support to have a dog, a black lab named Sammy, big house with a pool just for him. My wife had to be an educator or have some kind of job that gave back to the community, we would have 3 kids; Blaine told me one would be an accident. I thought the ideas of grandeur faded when I dropped out of college.
Blaine is the kid that never gives up on anything, I can’t fail him now.

I hadn’t realized the light in the hall glowing brighter until Kurt opened the door with the pill tray. “Rise and Shine Cooper,” he said turning on the light.
“Hey Kurt,” I started; I gave a quick glance at Blaine who was sound asleep or at least pretending to be. “Can we talk?”