College wasn’t turning out the way Blaine had expected it to.

Sure the classes were great—even though some of the teachers weren’t—and his roommate was great. He had an awesome boyfriend, and an amazing apartment with an even better view, but something was just missing. He often got lost in thought while studying or when he was just sitting at a coffee shop with Sebastian. His mind would wander farther and farther until it seemed like he was too far lost to be pulled from his contemplations.

Kind of like now.

“Blaine! Hey, you alive there?”

He was yanked from his deep train of thought, pulled not completely, but only to a shallower level. This time he had made it all the way back to Dalton, thinking back on groups of blazer-clad teenage boys, dancing to popular hits without a care in the world. Whatever happened to that Blaine? He had dreams and wishes that seemed so silly now. Real life was to blame for that. But still, there was something he could almost admire about himself back then. The optimism he held was just amazing. Nothing seemed to bring him down, he was on top of the world, free from the tyrants and bullies at his old school, surrounded by people who loved him. Not to mention Kurt.

Sweet, ambitious Kurt…

“Blaine, I think you’re drooling. Do I need to call for an ambulance, or are you just thinking back to last night when—”

Reality hit him a like a glass of ice-water. Sebastian was sitting across the small bistro table, smiling at him like he knew saying that would pull him out. He closed his eyes and ran a tired hand through his dark hair, trying to comb the last bits of his thoughts out. This was now. He was in New York now, not Ohio, and he went to wonderful NYU, not Dalton Academy or McKinley High.

He was with Sebastian Smythe, not Kurt Hummel.

“You’ve been zoning out a lot more often lately.” Sebastian explained, “Am I boring you?”

Blaine smirked. “I’m pretty sure it’s impossible for you to bore me.”

Sebastian shrugged and took a long drink of his coffee, Blaine taking the time to try and shake the lingering thoughts from his mind. The last few sips of his coffee were cold by now even though he had been holding the cup like a vice for the past ten minutes.

“You’re right,” Sebastian said thoughtfully, “I am pretty interesting.”

“Mmm.”

The coffee shop was too full for a Tuesday afternoon, but then again, this coffee shop was always too full. Sebastian liked to frequent to more popular spots in town, whereas with Blaine, he preferred the quiet, soothing atmosphere of a small shop tucked in a corner only a handful of people knew existed. The coffee here was always too hot and the smells were too strong from the constant brewing as well. On the days he came here with Sebastian after a particularly grating test, he’d always leave with a headache.

His roommate, Connor, would try to tell him to get Sebastian to visit a small place with him, but the smaller joints always seemed too quiet for his exuberant boyfriend. Sure, Blaine liked them, but Sebastian just looked out of place there. He looked out of place every time Blaine and Kurt saw him at the Lima Bean back in high school.

Kurt.

Did Kurt still go to those little coffee shops, or did he stop as well? Did he find a boyfriend that was loud and boisterous, or one that was quiet and reserved? Did he even have a boyfriend? Did—

“Blaine.”

He sighed, pushing back on the floor, the chair legs skidding across the wood as he rose and tossed his cold coffee into the nearest trash bin. More and more lately his thoughts had been drifting back to Kurt. What was he doing? Who was he with? Did he had a job? And it was always when he was around Sebastian. He’d just zone out on some distant part of scenery, and be dead to the world.

“I think I should be getting back to my place. I have a midterm to study for.”

Sebastian smiled sadly. “Okay, just let me know if you need anything. You seem very distant lately.”

“I’m fine.” He lied. Sebastian leaned down to place a quick kiss to his lips, Blaine giving him a small smile and a “call you later” before walking out into the biting winter air. It was too cold for November. All the leaves had fallen from every tree he could see, the small playground across the block deserted. Everything just seemed cold and empty.

The walk to his apartment was short. Sebastian had been picking places closer to Blaine’s lately. Last week, they had been only three and a half blocks away, this week, they were only two. Pretty soon they would be in the Starbucks next door. Then what?

He sighed at the broken elevator that would never be fixed, no matter how many residences complained about it, and began to make his way up the ten flights of stairs. He had gotten used to the trek by now. Two years of walking up and down them had done wonders to his legs. Sebastian still complained every time they had to walk up them together, always giving the landlord a good earful after every visit. Blaine was surprised he wasn’t banned from the building yet.

By the time he made it up the stairs, he was sucked back into his deadly subconscious, dwelling on his past. He didn’t even realize he was just loitering in the doorway until the door came and smacked him in the nose.

“Blaine! What the hell were you doing just standing there?”

A few drops of blood spotted his hand from where he clutched his nose after impact. His roommate just stood there, hands poised on the door and doorframe, looking down at him.

“Why did you open the door so fast? Jesus, Connor!”

“Well, I wasn’t expecting you to just be standing there like a freaking vampire waiting to be invited in or some shit.”

Blaine patted a few more drops away from his nostril. “There is no such thing as vampires.”

“Uh, yeah there is.” Connor said. “Haven’t you ever seen Supernatural?”

Blaine gave him an are-you-serious look. “That’s just a television show.”

“Lies!”

Blaine sighed at his roommate. Connor Lloyd was a slightly tall, red-head with the scrawniest body he had ever seen. This boy could fit through a coat hanger, he was so scrawny. He was an amazing actor though, with a set of pipes that could rival a one Rachel Berry. It was no surprise that he was attending NYADA.

Something moved in the apartment, and Blaine ducked his head to try and see, but stopped when he noticed something off about his roommate.

“Wait,” he stopped, “you’re wearing pants.”

Connor was notoriously known for not wearing pants whenever possible. The guy probably owned three pairs. He did have quiet the boxer collection, though. He was the guy that intentionally asked for boxers for his birthday, claiming that every pair had a story. He would often tell these stories when coming out for breakfast with a new pair on; he’d settle on a barstool, and just talk away. Most of the times the stories were completely stupid and a lot of times had to do with a bedroom adventure with some girl, but every now and then, he’d come out with the most god-awful pair and the most riveting story to accompany them. Blaine would come home every day, without fail, to a pantless Connor.

Except today.

“Why are you wearing pants?”

“Because we have company.” Connor sighed.

Blaine narrowed his eyes. “That’s never stopped you before.”

“Well,” he began, “this guest has kindly requested that I keep my trousers on.”

Blaine laughed. “I want to meet the person that makes you keep your pants on.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you do.” He mocked.

Blaine stepped aside and let the door swing open completely; searching the apartment for this mystery guest, but it was empty.

The door shut behind him, a fully-clothed Connor coming to stand beside him. “Where are they?”

He shrugged. “He must have gone to the bathroom.”

Blaine shrugged in return, and made his way to the small kitchen to pat the blood away, wash his hands, and make some decent coffee. He searched the pantry for the coffee grounds and filter, the taste of bad coffee still heavy on his tongue. He vaguely registered a flush and a door opening.

“Hey, Connor where are the filters?” he asked as he spotted the grounds tucked behind a box of cereal.

“On the counter.”

“Thanks.”

There was some rustling and scratch of chair legs against linoleum, and then a voice from distant memories rung out in the air.

“So, do you have any ideas for what genre we should do our project to?”

The coffee grounds fell to the floor, their black crumbs scattering all over the linoleum and into the edge of the carpet. There was no way.

“I’m not cleaning that up Blaine!” Connor called, but cleaning up the mess was the last thing on his mind.

“Blaine? As in Anderson?”

Blaine froze, his hands still cupped around the space where the coffee container used to be.

“Yeah, how’d you know? I don’t think I mentioned…”

The crunch of grounds under shoes reached his ears, and Blaine swallowed down the growing lump in his throat. Somehow, he managed to turn around and face the voice of the ghost of the past he had been so lost in lately.

“Blaine?”

“H-hi, Kurt.”