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June 17, 2013, 12:50 p.m.
June 17, 2013, 12:50 p.m.
You have reached the voicemail of Blaine Anderson. Please leave a message after the beep.
Kurt tried again and again and let out a howl of frustration at the repeated message. It wasn't even Blaine's voice, just an automated message, nothing personal, nothing of Blaine except the repetition of his name, said in monotone. The first time Kurt had heard a few rings then the message, the subsequent times the message could be heard straight away so Kurt knew he had turned off his phone deliberately not wanting any contact from Kurt. He pushed his coat on quickly, grabbed a scarf and left his apartment, with only a worried expression from Rachel.
The weather was chilly, rain hovering low in the sky and no rainfall as yet but Kurt didn't care. He practically ran to Gates Avenue subway station, the cold air hitting his face and causing him to breathe even deeper. There were only a few people on the train but many were looking Kurt's way as he impatiently tapped his fingers holding on to the pole. He knew Blaine must have gone to the bridge and just hoped he wasn't too late.
Blaine stood by the bridge, just watching it. It seemed all journeys led to the bridge. Nothing could be heard, almost like it carried on without Blaine, the rush, the traffic, the people. It all carried on and Blaine just stood as one or two drops of water hit his head.
He didn't want to go on to the actual bridge, instead he just watched its stillness – so solid and unchanging; in a way it was a comfort to know that it would always be there, no matter how Blaine felt.
He could hear nothing, noticed nothing, including the rain that had started to patter over him so he didn't see Kurt approach coming along Kent Avenue.
As soon as Kurt spotted a man about Blaine's age just standing watching the bridge, he knew it was Blaine. He was standing so still, almost mesmerised by the bridge that Kurt knew to walk slowly, to wait. He watched him carefully as he got closer, realised this was the first time he had fully seen Blaine. Blaine was wrapped against the cold, his red scarf covering his neck, his hands tucked into his coat pockets but he seemed oblivious to the rain hitting his face and the cold air on his cheeks. He stood still, just watching and Kurt could see his profile clearly – his jaw set and strong, his lips rosy in the cold and his eyes dark with long eyelashes. Kurt was right – he was beautiful.
He came slightly closer, knew he would have to speak but didn't want to frighten him. In a strange way he looked at peace standing there, almost like he was facing his biggest fear, waiting to see if it would conquer him after all.
"Blaine," Kurt whispered in the night air, the words swallowed up by the wind and the rain and Blaine remained still. He walked closer so only metres were between them.
"Blaine," a little louder and this time Blaine turned slowly and fixed his eyes on Kurt. He didn't smile, didn't seem to recognise him at first but as they stood staring at each other, Kurt unmoving, Blaine shifted his body. His eyes widened as Kurt remained still and Kurt could see his eyes glow in the lights of the bridge, a swirl of green and amber, so tortured and hurt. Blaine's face softened, seeming to recognise Kurt for who and what he was.
"Help," Blaine said, a mere whisper of a word, nearly lost in the air but Kurt heard and came even closer. He hesitated and then Blaine seemed to physically crumble and Kurt closed the gap, enveloping him in the closest hug Blaine had ever received. Blaine seemed startled at the contact, then relaxed and Kurt felt his head rest slightly under his shoulder. Kurt rubbed his back as Blaine's chest rose and fell in what appeared to be sobs but no sound was omitted. Blaine had forgotten how protected and safe you could feel with one hug. Kurt wrapped his arms around him tightly, not threatening to disappear, just warm and safe. Time seemed to stop and Kurt stayed as long as he was needed. It was Blaine that parted first, his eyes full of unshed tears as he looked at Kurt.
"Kurt?"
Kurt smiled and nodded.
"I was so worried," Kurt said, "Don't ever do that again Blaine. I couldn't..." Kurt's voice trailed away at the thought of what could have happened, how Kurt would have reacted. He felt a lump in his throat but he swallowed and stroked Blaine's arm gently.
"Let's get out of here," Kurt said with sudden confidence and Blaine looked up at the sky that had been pouring steadily while they had been there together, as if he had only just resurfaced. Blaine eye's found Kurt's kind face, realised he had imagined someone totally different when he heard Kurt on the phone. Kurt's blue eyes twinkled in the lights of the bridge and his lips were pursed together in a smile, making him look so beautiful that Blaine couldn't believe he was here. Kurt simply took his hand.
"Let's go," Kurt said and he led Blaine away from the pain and the darkness, taking him somewhere better, full only of light.
They walked hand in hand to the coffee shop Blaine had visited before, Kurt feeling Blaine's tight grip in his. Kurt was almost amazed that he would tolerate such contact from someone he hardly knew but as he looked to Blaine as they walked, Blaine looked comforted at the thought that he was being led somewhere safe.
They entered the little shop, now making slight puddles on the floor as they ordered their drinks – medium drip and non-fat mocha - and found a corner table.
"I sat here before," Blaine said, his first phrase since the moment by the bridge, "When you rang me. You keep saving me."
Kurt looked to Blaine, not sure of his meaning, not sure if he wanted to be saved and maybe Kurt was a nuisance. Blaine smiled and Kurt's worry disappeared.
"Thank you for coming Kurt, I didn't expect it," he whispered.
"I meant it by the bridge Blaine, I want you to promise me that you'll never refuse my call, never hang up on me or give a pathetic excuse so you can go to the bridge. Please." Kurt's eyes were worried and wide and Blaine couldn't help but think he looked like an angel, sitting there in his light coloured jacket. The rain had caused patches to form on the shoulders and arms but the cold air only seemed to emphasise his cherubic qualities. Kurt blushed a little under his scrutiny.
"Why do you look at me like that?" Kurt whispered, grabbing his drink to distract himself and give his twitchy fingers something to hold.
"You're just not what I imagined, I'm sorry," Blaine said, his eyes finally parting from Kurt's so he could grab his own drink.
"I mean what I said Blaine, you have to promise."
"Why does it mean so much to you?" Blaine asked, truly confused, "You don't really know me, you don't have to care." It wasn't accusatory, Blaine really didn't understand.
"Are you serious?" Kurt said, almost annoyed, his eyes wide, his cheeks fully flush now under the sudden heat from the coffee. "You expect me to be indifferent? You ring me up one night threatening to jump from a bridge," he continued in a whisper, "We exchange conversation every night, I tell you about my mum, the bullying and you tell me about school, your glee club, you start to tell me about your family. This doesn't sound like a friendship between two indifferent people Blaine. You made me care, you shouldn't be so surprised when I do." Kurt sat back slightly after he realised he'd been getting closer to invading his personal space in an effort to keep his voice down. Blaine was taken aback.
"It's just no one's really cared before Kurt," he whispered, looking at the top of his coffee, "I didn't mean to dump this on you, I'm sorry." Blaine looked so small; Kurt wanted only to hug him close again. He placed his hand gently on Blaine's as it held his mug and Blaine's brown eyes searched his face.
"I don't regret anything Blaine," he said, "I am so very glad I picked up that phone, so proud that you rang, I just don't ever want you to be hurt, I care way too much, but there it is. You're stuck with me." He attempted a grin but Blaine only looked dumbstruck, his eyes wide, his mouth agape.
"Stuck with you?" Blaine whispered, "You really still want to be my friend?"
"Of course Blaine, there's nothing you could say to stop me."
"You don't know..." Blaine started, shaking his head.
"I don't need to know," Kurt said, squeezing his hand again, "I know you enough Blaine to realise that you wouldn't hurt a fly and that you've loved and lost. I know you have an amazing voice without hearing you sing, I know that you are so talented and full of dreams that as soon as the weight is lifted, you'll be free to realise every single one of them." He smiled to finalise his statements and Blaine blinked back tears. No one had said such amazing things, no one had believed in him so simply and sincerely.
"Now if you want to tell me about your family then you can but I won't pressure you. You do have to promise me that you won't shut me out again, that you'll let me help you."
Blaine looked at the greatest friend he had ever had and smiled, his tears threatening to overflow.
"I promise," he said and smiled.