Only me beside you

Still, youre not alone

No one is alone, truly

No one is alone…

Things will come out right now

We can make it so

Someone is on your side

No one is alone

No One Is Alone from Into The Woods

There was no doubt in the mind of the casting director: Kurt should be Gabe and he was given the part the following week. It would be a few months of rehearsal and he would see Ana nearly every day. He was so excited he was bopping when he told Blaine and Rachel.

"I knew you could do it," she said happily. "Now well be able to compare notes together, rehearse together, drink honey and lemon tea together."

Kurt wasnt sure he loved the overuse of the word together, but nothing could dampen his mood. Blaine was getting contracts to sing at other schools and day care centres, but he hadnt seen Tessa or Ruby for a while, their endeavours separating them a little.

Blaine got a call.

"Blaine! I cant get hold of Kurt, is he there with you?"

"Yeah…" Blaine said, and Kurt looked confused, immediately aware something was up by looking at Blaines face. Blaine handed the phone to Kurt.

"Its Tessa," Blaine whispered.

"Hi Tessa, I havent seen you in ages," Kurt started conversationally, but he was interrupted.

"Kurt, I couldnt get through to your phone," she said angrily.

"Sorry, I had it on silent, Ive got a job on Broadway!"

"I would really love to celebrate with you, but somethings happened to Ruby and…"

"Whats happened?"

"She got a call from a relative in England, some aunt or something. It appears that her mother is seriously ill and shes been asked to go back."

"Oh fuck…" Kurt whispered, "She wont want to do that."

"Exactly and when she found out she went out for a walk and isnt answering her phone. I worry she might do something stupid."

"Ok, Im coming over," Kurt said grabbing his jacket as he continued talking. "In fact I know a few places she might go. Ill let you know if shes okay when I can."

"Thanks Kurt," Tessa said, sounding relieved. "I knew I could count on you." She hung up and Kurt went to the door, filling in the lost information to a waiting Blaine and Rachel.

"Text me too," Blaine said as he kissed Kurt on the cheek, a quick gesture without thinking, but there was a pause when they were both startled by the action.

"Will do," Kurt whispered, looking directly at Blaine who smiled, his warm eyes soft and adoring.

It didnt take long for Kurt to find Ruby, searching places he would go if he wanted to be alone and think. The Highline was one of the first places he walked and he found her on a bench looking over the city.

"I knew theyd send you," she said as he simply sat down next to her, saying nothing and clasping his hands together.

"Are they worried?" she asked.

"A little," Kurt said. "They just want to know youre ok." He sent a quick text to both Blaine and Tessa to let them know.

"You know why I went for a walk?"

"Your mom is ill?"

"Yeah, I suspect it isnt serious, but they want me back. They think I should be there in England."

"They?"
"Relatives. This annoying aunt in particular. She often sends emails filled with guilt inducing statements."

"If your mom is ill though…"

"Yeah I know," she said, closing her eyes, "but Ive spent an awful long time pretending I dont have a mom."

"Is she that dreadful?"

"No, not really," she said, "but she wasnt there when I needed her the most and I know she blames me for Joe."

"She blames you for the violence?" Kurt was incredulous.

"Not in so many words. Gosh, she would never say it, but sometimes she has this look on her face like she thinks Im weak and I brought it on myself. She thinks I chose wrongly and should have got out sooner."

"She doesnt know what its like to go through that."

"Exactly, but everyone has an opinion on it. I used to catch her looking at me after my dad died, like I pained her. Everyone always told her that I was the splitting image of my dad, they would look at me and gape. I guess it annoyed her that I was daddys little girl."

"Relationships can change," Kurt said after a while. "When my mom died I never thought Id be able to talk to my dad about stuff, but we can. In fact hes my biggest champion. Were completely different, but we somehow work and I know hes always got my back. If anything happened to him…"

"I wont ever have that with my mom, Kurt," she said matter-of-factly. "I wish that all it would take was a little effort. I would put every single ounce of myself into that relationship. Shes never wanted to make the effort."

Kurt nodded. "What are you going to do?"

"Ill go home," she said standing taller, as if she was piling the courage she needed on her shoulders. "Its the right thing to do."

"Do you need anything?" He grasped her hand and squeezed.

"Just promise me if I call you a lot while Im there youll remind me why Im doing it. Youll tell me that Im brave."

"You are brave."

"See, youre doing a fantastic job already," she said smiling, her eyes twinkling mischievously. He tickled her side causing her to laugh again.

"What were you doing when Tessa called?"

"Telling Blaine that I got the part on Broadway."

"Wow, Kurt! You did?" Her face lit up.

"Seems like they loved my performance and Ana thought I was great."

"Oh its Ana now is it?"

"Yeah, were besties," Kurt joked.

"So, I took you away from Blaine?"

"What do you mean?"

"Youre always with Blaine now," she said, no dig, just truth.

Kurt looked at his fingers. "Do you think I see too much of him?"

"No, I think hes good for you."

Kurt nodded, thinking of Blaine, his own version of a knight in shining armour.
"The lines are blurring now," he said slowly, "He always disarms me, I never know how I feel when Im around him."

She smiled. "Hes your best friend, hes built you back up; he will always be there for you."

"But its more than that," Kurt said, worried about how much to say. "He kissed me on the cheek earlier, just naturally, without thinking. Sometimes I dream of him, blurry images of the future, even when Im awake. Hes so unbelievably perfect, sometimes I think hes only ever a dream and Ill wake up properly and realise Im still with James."

"What are you afraid of? Because hes the complete opposite of James – in every way."

"I know. I really do know that." Kurt looked into the distance, trying to find the right words to describe how he felt. He could feel it all ebbing away, just out of reach and there was only Blaine. "I guess, Im afraid of myself." Ruby looked confused. "Im afraid that hell be so perfect, that well be so amazing together and Ill screw it up. Ill make mistakes and itll ruin the friendship we have. I cant live without him now."

"No one knows the future, but I cant imagine you would make mistakes that big. There would be two people in the relationship; he wont want to make mistakes either. It wont just be in your hands. Dont be afraid of love just because youve been burnt."

"I know, I know," he said.

"And you cant let James win like that." Kurt looked at her, surprised by her statement. "He tried to make you believe you were worthless, just something he could abuse and hurt. Well, that isnt true and Blaine doesnt think that either."

Kurt looked up, his eyelashes soft in the light of the Highline, his cheeks aglow. "What does Blaine think of me?"

Ruby rolled her eyes and smiled. "Hes loves you, hes such a dork."
Kurt blushed a little but felt his insides stir and melt.

"You dont need me to tell you that," she continued. "Its written all over his face."

"He makes me feel so connected, so loved," he said, his voice trailing away as he thought of Blaine again.

"Then say what you need to say," she said simply. "And keep me posted whilst Im in England."

---

Half expecting Ruby to text him constantly about her trip to see her family, Kurt didnt expect to have James come back into his life so suddenly and seemingly without reason. Kurt had started rehearsals for Next to Normal and was enjoying learning from one of the greatest ladies on Broadway, who gave so much whenever she played against him. They would have coffee in between sessions, discuss the production and occasionally even shop, where Kurt would recommend a few little touches to her wardrobe and encourage her to accessorise. He soon dubbed Ana the hag he never had, which made her cackle.

Kurt hadnt heard from James, hadnt followed his career upon his departure to LA so it was a complete surprise when he bumped into him after a rehearsal on the sidewalk.

"James…"

Kurt looked like hed seen a ghost, his face instantly paling as he stumbled back instinctively, causing James to grab his wrist in an effort to keep him still. Kurt recoiled in horror at the touch.

"Get the fuck off me!"

"Kurt, woah, we need to talk," James said, trying to placate, not understanding the pain etched on Kurts face.

Kurt seemed to regain some of his senses and he stood back again in preparation to walk away. He tried to step past him.

"No we dont."

Kurt nearly succeeded. "Kurt, wait, please…"

Kurt turned, only slightly as he walked away, saw something hed never seen in James and he hesitated.

"Please, listen to me," James begged. "I wont keep you for long. I just need a few minutes, then you can get away and I wont bother you again."

The idea that he would definitely never see James again spurred him on; the thought that James had once held even a little of his heart made him feel sick. He could barely nod his assent.

James smiled and Kurt couldnt bear the little victory he saw there in his eyes. They walked to the nearest coffee shop and Kurt sat down in a seat by the window – public and visible, out of harm. James looked a little surprised, but ordered their coffees.

Kurt watched him for a little while. James looked thinner, less secure and he wondered what had brought him back here, to a place he hated. His back was no longer straight and confident, his body seeming to apologise for everything and to anyone. Even as he brought the coffees over, his shoulders were hunched and he approached Kurt as if he expected a slap in the face.

"Why are you here?" Kurt asked, getting straight to the point.

James clearly expected the question. "To apologise. I need to say sorry."

Kurt didnt believe it but he stayed silent.

"Ive been seeing a therapist," James continued. "Hes been helping me."

Kurt hadnt been expecting that, but still he stayed quiet.

"I realise I acted out of misplaced jealousy. I loved you like a possession and you were…"

Kurt held his hand up, he could bear no more.

"What is this really about?" he said coldly. "Why are you really here?"

"What do you mean?" James paled.

"I mean," Kurt said with a hint of venom, "Cut the crap and tell me what you want."

"I dont want…"

"No," Kurt shouted, causing people nearby to look a little worried. "Dont treat me like a fool. What do you want? Why are you here?"

James was silent for a long time. He seemed to be weighing the pros and cons of possible answers, but Kurt waited.

"I need you to make a statement to the press, something about our relationship and how it really ended."

Kurt looked relieved at the final honesty, but he stood up abruptly, suddenly grateful that James had ordered coffees in take away cups. He started to walk and realising what he was doing, James followed quickly.

"No, Kurt, dont go."

"Get away from me James."

"Kurt, please listen, I just need you to say that it was a misunderstanding, just an argument that went wrong. I…"

"No!" Kurt wheeled around to face him on the sidewalk. "It wasnt just an argument that went wrong, you broke a rib, you bruised me and cut my lip."
It was the first time James had realised what hed done, come face to face with his actions and he stopped still.

"And whats worse," Kurt carried on. "You led me to believe it was my fault, my mistakes but IT WAS YOU!" James had never seen Kurt so angry, but he kept his distance, and Kurt never touched him.

"You cheated on me…" James said weakly and seeing the pathetic expression on his face made Kurts anger finally dissipate.

"No, I didnt. I never cheated and I would never have done that," Kurt said quietly. "I thought I loved you."

James was relieved to hear at least that.

"I did love you," James said.

"Not enough," Kurt said, "And with some kind of warped love."

"But Blaine was after you, he wanted you."

Kurt realised then that James would never understand and the conversation was pointless. He sighed and closed his eyes, relying on his last bit of strength and patience.

"No, he loved me in the right way," Kurt whispered. "He cared when you only saw red, he took care of me when you wanted to hurt me, and he wanted my best when you took it away. You need to leave, James. You wont get what you want here."

James understood at least that and nodded. "Ok, Ill leave. Ill go back to modelling I think, its easier than trying to break into acting over there."

Kurt nodded, not really caring.

"I wont bother you again." Kurt wanted to say good, but left it unsaid.

---

Kurt texted Ruby the details of seeing James, and got a reply almost instantly:

Final closure at last. Good riddance, well handled. Miss you x

Kurt was surprised by the last comment. They had shared so much but Ruby wasnt one to reel out platitudes or text kisses.

Miss you too :( how is rainy old England?

Not too rainy actually! My mum is the same as ever, but we seem to have reached a status quo at least. Joe is apparently living with someone, so the grapevine tells me, but nowhere near my mum, so wont accidently bump into him.

Is she feeling better?

Yeah, nothing much to worry about, Ill be home in a few days x

Kurt was glad to hear her mention her real home and he text again to wish her a good trip. With such a good response from Ruby, understanding and caring, Kurt was surprised at Blaines reaction when he told him once he got back to their apartment.

"Where is he staying? Ill personally make sure he goes back to LA." Blaine was already grabbing his jacket and keys, walking towards the door until Kurt stopped him.

"I dont know. You cant do that."

"Why not? After what he did to you…"

Kurt had never seen Blaine so angry. It seemed as if he had been bottling it up for months.

"Hes gone now, he said hed leave me alone."

"I thought he understood that from our last meeting with your dad," Blaine seethed. "Why are you so calm about this?"

Kurt sighed. "Because Ive gotten over it. He cant harm me again."

"He shouldnt have harmed you in the first place."

"But he did and its over. He didnt get what he came for."

"So whos to say he wont ask again."

"He knows theres no point. I won, Blaine, I won."

"I didnt know it was a game."

Kurt sat on the sofa, silently asking Blaine to do the same. "It was my life, not a game, but Im glad its over. He gets to walk away and try to live his life somewhere else."

"But what do you get?" It seemed so unfair to Blaine, who fiercely believed in justice.

"I get peace and closure," Kurt said, closing his eyes. "He hurt me once, left bruises and broken ribs, but he didnt leave inner pain. I know who I am now and its not his victim, not a pathetic shell of a man, but someone fierce and together. I can stand on my own, I can be who I want to be and not stuck in anyones shadow."
Blaine said nothing. He just looked at Kurt as if he was shining. He was so proud of him, so amazed that he could rise like that out of ashes and pain and become a better version of himself. Blaine wasnt sure he was that brave.

"Dont worry about me Blaine," Kurt whispered, his eyes bright and shining. "Im still here."