Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Dont run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe theres a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is

Brave by Sara Bereilles

"Kurt! Kurt!"

There was no disguising who it was; the shrill high-pitched voice bursting through the apartment could only belong to one person. Kurt was surprised she wasnt saving her voice.

"I have top secret intel," she squealed as soon as she saw him, grabbing his hands in earnest. "Theyre doing auditions for Next to Normal, youd be a perfect Gabe."

His mind had never worked so hard, but as soon as he considered the prospect, doubt crept in and darkened the corners of his mind. He started to shake his head.

"I dont know if I can do it; Im not ready."

"Dont be ridiculous," Rachel said, grabbing his arms, searching his face with her big brown eyes. "Take me or Blaine with you. Remember that someone tried to knock you down. Rise again like a phoenix."

"Rachel…" He rolled his eyes.

"No, Kurt, show me how big your brave is, show me," she dared him and he sighed at her and her ridiculous song quoting.

"Ok, Ill try."

"Good, thats all I ask," she said, a self-satisfied smile on her face. "Now who are you going to invite along?"

---

He was allowed to audition before the open auditions due to his background and credentials, but it didnt stop the nerves. The table stood in front of him: the casting director and a producer amongst the people to impress. Just a first audition, he reminded himself. He had done this countless times, but the nerves swirled in his stomach causing it to churn. He had sought for advice from Rachel, who suggested he showcase his talent as Gabe by singing a song from the set list. He went with his gut-instinct, a different song, one that might not be easily recognised, but could show his range and ability. Blaine sat at the back, inconspicuous to anyone apart from Kurt, who smiled at his presence.

"When youre ready Kurt," the casting director Eileen said.

If I came to you empty handed

A barren ocean

With nothing at all

And if I came to you empty hearted

Searching for pieces

After the fall

He started off tentatively, but it only showed his acting ability, the range of emotion he could bring to a song. Eileen was clearly impressed and she smiled.

All Ive ever known is how to hide a secret

But Im tired of going on without believing

And love is not illusion, love illuminates the blind.

If I fell into you, would it be close enough?

If I finally let you in, would you show me what love is?

If I had nothing to give.

Blaine watched, like he had been unable to the other night by the piano. He was beautiful and could be fragile, but Kurt straightened his back and Blaine knew he was strong, like no other.

If you came to me empty handed

Id bring the ocean to bring you home

And if you came to me empty hearted

Id find the pieces to make you own

If I fell into you, would it be close enough?

If I finally let you in would you show me what love is?

If I had nothing to give.

If I am a promise

Will you let me break again?

I will be your congress, I will only let you ban

All Ive ever known is how to hide a secret

But Im tired of going on without believing

And love is not illusion, love illuminates the blind.

Kurts eyes had been closed, but he opened them as if he had been blind. He looked directly at Blaine and smiled. Blaine was dependable and oh so caring and he almost shone there as he sat. But Kurt was a little afraid.

If I fell into you, would it be close enough?

If I finally let you in, would you show me what love is?

If I had nothing to give

If I had nothing to give

There was a slight applause, they had clearly enjoyed the performance, but wanted to give nothing away. Eileen smiled and nodded, saying they would be in touch. Kurt simply thanked them and went on his way.

"They have no idea," Blaine said angrily, as they left the studio space, rushing to keep up with Kurt, who was walking quickly. "They dont know what it took to go there and sing after whats happened."

"Im nothing to them Blaine," Kurt said matter-of-factly. "I wouldnt want to be treated any other way."

"Do they do that every time?" Blaine asked, incredulously.

Kurt nodded knowingly. "Mmm hmm. Dont get offended on my behalf. They dont know anything about whats happened and I wouldnt want to be treated with kid gloves like a prized porcelain doll. Ill find out like everyone else."

"I suppose Broadway must be demanding and cut throat to succeed. Its where every singer wants to be."

"Exactly. Ive always had to work for it."

Blaine opened his mouth as if to speak and then changed his mind, closing it abruptly. Kurt noticed.

"What?" he said, then he sighed. "You were going to ask about James? Blaine, you can mention his name. Its not like Voldemort you know."

Blaine laughed a little at himself. "I know. I just wasnt sure how comfortable you were with me discussing him."

"Hes not my favorite subject, but I accept that he might come up in conversation occasionally. He was a part of my life for two years, whether I like it or not."

"Did James find it easier to get work?"

"Yeah, I always hated that, not because I envied it," Kurt hurried to add, "But more because I felt he was cheated of the experience like the rest of us. Ive always appreciated every role Ive got, because I worked damn hard to get the part. It was easy for him and I dont think he liked his job."

Blaine nodded sagely, showing wisdom and looking suddenly older than his years.

"And if you get a rejection for this role?" Blaine asked quietly, as if he were afraid.

"Then there will be other parts and jobs. I think the best thing is that I tried, that I didnt let circumstances change my whole future. Im putting myself out there."

"Yeah," Blaine said, his face showing the love he often tried to hide. "Youre free… like a blackbird." He thought back to that time by the window and Kurt seemed to see the echo of the moment and then blinked so it disappeared.

"Would you like to go for coffee?"

---

Kurt heard a week later that he was up for a second audition, this time to sing some of the songs from the production. He prepared thoroughly, Blaine helping when he could and Rachel offering advice. As she saw him off, with Blaine again by his side, she smiled widely.

"Youre ready," she said happily. "You took a chance before, you had to be brave, now youre ready. Youre confident and the best you can be. Go."

He smiled widely at her exciting pep talk, reminiscent of Mr. Schue, and he walked with Blaine to the subway.

Kurt was quiet on the journey, musing over Rachels words, making him doubt his own security when he was on his own. He noticed Blaine, dependable and solid, sincere and caring and always by his side. He worked up the courage to say something just as they were approaching the theatre for the second audition.

"Do you think Im weak?"

Blaine was startled by the sudden question, deeming it ridiculous and shook his head in puzzlement.

"I mean its lovely that you always come with me, that I can depend on you for that encouraging smile at the back, but maybe I depend on it too much?"

"You dont want me there?"

"No its not that," Kurt said quickly, "Its just I worry that I take you from your work, your possible jobs. Theres no time just for you, if you always take care of me."

Blaine looked confused like hed never thought of any of this before.

"Theres nowhere else I need to be."

"Maybe if you just wait outside," Kurt said it quietly, his head lowered and Blaine couldnt hide the hurt.

"Okay."

"Really Blaine, its nothing to do with you," Kurt said hurriedly. "I just need to realize I can do this on my own."

"You dont have to be alone," Blaine said emphatically, his eyes wide and earnest. Kurt smiled at the sincerity.

"I know," Kurt said, taking Blaines hand and giving it a squeeze at the kindness. "But I do have to learn to stand on my own two feet occasionally. I need to do this for myself."

Blaine nodded, not really understanding, but accepting that it was important to Kurt. "Ill be right out here."

"Id love that, but I may be a while. Why dont you meet me for coffee later?" Blaine nodded, understanding that he needed his space. Kurt smiled and squeezed his hand again before he let it go, so slowly that he almost wanted to delay it further.

They were all business as he stood on stage, knowing exactly what they wanted to see. He had rehearsed all the songs sung by Gabe, confident that he could deliver each performance with enough feeling to convey the varying emotions.

Luckily the lady who was to play Diana was present, a little later, and able to do chemistry tests with Kurt who had sung all of Gabes songs to the panel. She was good, an old enough woman to play Gabes mother, but such an old hand on Broadway that they were guaranteed a success with her presence.

As soon as Kurt found out it was the Anastasia Lazzara, he was speechless. He had rubbed shoulders on occasion with people who were Broadway royalty, but none this close and the possibility of working with her was amazing. He immediately thought back to whether he was good enough when she first came in, her coat trailing a path behind her like a cape.

"Sorry Im late, sorry Im late," she gushed as she came down the steps of the auditorium. "Is this the Gabe I might be working with?"

She got on stage effortlessly and Kurt nodded quickly though he hadnt been addressed.

"Ana," Eileen said, walking on stage to introduce them properly. Kurt couldnt believe she knew her well enough to call her Ana! "This is Kurt Hummel."

"Pleased to meet you, pleased to meet you," she said, shaking Kurts hand profusely and Kurt wondered if she repeated everything she said twice. "So are you new to this game?"

"Ive been in productions but only off-Broadway."

"Well Broadways always the dream, isnt it?" she said knowingly. Kurt thought briefly of what he used to say, that striving was enough, being in a great production was the reward in itself, but he didnt say it. It didnt feel true anymore – he wanted to be on Broadway, he needed this production.

"Yes it is," he said.

"Well, lets get started. Shall we?" she said, taking her coat off quickly and Kurt noticed her bright red nails, filed to perfection.

"How about the scene where Diana finds a music box while cleaning Gabes room and plays it, causing Gabe to enter and it leads onto I Dreamed a Dance?"

"Sounds fantastic," Ana said and she closed her eyes, preparing for her role with a script in hand and kneeling on the floor. Kurt almost believed there was a music box in her hand before he realized he had to perform too. He took the offered script.

He imagined she was his mother, feeling terribly small and mentally desperate to see her dead son. Ana changed before his eyes into that woman and as she started to sing, he began to hover over her, dance a few steps as if he was merely waiting for her to join him.

I saw you light the ballroom

With your sparkling eyes so blue

Graceful as an angels wing

I dreamed a dance with you

She got up slowly and let her arms lift up to be taken by him as he led her around the room in a simple waltz. She seemed to be fragile in his arms, paper-thin and they danced, barely touching.

You whispered slyly, softly

You told me you would be true

We spun around a thousand stars

I dreamed a dance with you

I know the night is dying dear

I know the day will dawn

Kurt joined in as Gabe, his voice quiet, so as not to disturb her song, her memories.

The dancers may disappear

Still the dance goes on

And on

She continued on her own, tragically believing her dead son was really there and not in her imagination.

Ill wake alone tomorrow

The dream of our dance is through

But now until forever love

Ill live to dance with you

Ill dream my love

Ill live my love

And Ill die to dance

He was led into his song, persuading his mother that there was a world where they could be free, where they would be together:

Theres a world

Theres a world I know

A place we can go

Where the pain will go away

Theres a world where the sun shines each day

He was dreaming of that world, where all pain disappears, his eyes closed in imagination.

Theres a world

Theres a world out there

Ill show you just where

And in time I know youll see

Theres a world where we can be free

And then it hit him. In the image of a world where he was free he was never alone. Blaine was there, so loving, so amazing, so completely different from James. He opened his eyes to Ana, who was desperately holding on in her role as Diana. She wanted that place.

Come with me

Come with me

Theres a world where we can be free

Come with me

There was rapturous applause and as Kurt was standing back, now out of character for Ana to take her rightful place, she took his hand and led him to centre stage, indicating he should take a bow. He blushed and the applause got louder for him and he couldnt help but smile.

---

"It was fantastic Blaine!" Kurt gushed as soon as he left the theatre, calling Blaine on his phone. "I met and sang with Anastasia Lazzara! We all called her Ana!"

"Oh my… really? Thats so exciting!" Blaine exclaimed.

"Are you still free for coffee?"

"Yeah, just give me a few minutes then Ill meet you at the usual place. Something strange happened as I left the theatre earlier and I need to finish up here."

"Something strange?"

"Yeah, itll be best if I explain in person," Blaine laughed. "Ill see you in half an hour."

"Ok…" Blaine hung up and Kurt was left wondering why he had been so abrupt.

---

"Right I have to go now, but thanks for letting me join in with your games," Blaine said excitedly to all the little faces that stared up at him. The woman, Lizzie, who had found him on the street just outside the theatre, was now looking at him from the back of the room, a most grateful expression on her face. She looked so relieved, Blaine could only smile back.

"One more song, one more song!" The kids shouted and Blaine smiled indulgently.

"Well, I have a friend that had to be really brave today so I think this song is for him."

"Is he your BFF?" one girl asked innocently and Blaine beamed.

"He is the bestest friend anyone could ever ask for," Blaine said then led into the song:

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath

Scared to rock the boat and make a mess

So I sat quietly, agreed politely

I guess that I forgot I had a choice

I let you push me past the breaking point

I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

The kids all joined in during the chorus. One kid even rolled on the floor and pretended to be a lion.

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter

Dancing through the fire

Cause I am a champion, and youre gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion

Cause I am a champion, and youre gonna hear me roar!

The kids loved it and there was a great applause, especially from the people that worked there. Blaine had saved them from a group of disappointed children with nothing to do. He was led into an office and hugged as soon as he was inside.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Lizzie gushed. "You saved my life, I dont think I can ever repay you."

"Oh, it was nothing," Blaine said modestly.

"No," she said hurt that he was brushing the compliment aside. "Have you ever seen angry and disappointed six year olds? Theyre scary." She shuddered like she was replaying a memory. "Anyway, what do I owe you?"
"Oh dont worry, it was fun," Blaine said quickly, money never entering his mind.

"Dont be silly Blaine, I was going to pay that bum that bailed on me a hundred dollars and you did an excellent job."

"A hundred dollars?" he said incredulously. "Do many centers pay that?"

"Yeah when they have the funding or the budget."

Blaines mind went into overdrive and she smiled, aware she had lost him to the idea.

"You could easily work in several centers or schools on a regular basis for an agreed fee. You were really good, your rapport with the class was effortless."

Blaine nodded, still thinking.

"Id be interested in hiring you full time," she said, handing him the centers business card. "Let me know. I mean as I say, you saved my life."

---

"I dont know what to do," Blaine said after he had relayed how he had spent his morning.

"So this woman just approaches you on the street and asks you to play to a bunch of children?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well I did have a guitar on me, it was kind of a given that I could play it."

"But still, you could have been anyone."

"Well, I wasnt left alone with the kids, and I dont think I look like a murderer."

Kurt laughed. "No, definitely not murderer material. So youre going to go back?"
"Yeah I think so, it would be a regular income of sorts and would still leave my evenings free."

"Ive never seen you so excited about something," Kurt said, beaming.

"And its coming together for you," Blaine said, matching Kurts grin.

"Thats if they agree," Kurt said, trying to keep his feet on the ground.

"You were born to play a role like this Kurt, no more off-Broadway, this is where you belong."

"You think so?"

"I know so," Blaine said confidently. "No more living in the shadows. You are your own man, you can do anything."

Kurt felt himself grow slightly in the light of Blaines praise.

He could do anything.