June 8, 2014, 7 p.m.
When Doves Cry: Chapter 1
E - Words: 2,981 - Last Updated: Jun 08, 2014 Story: Complete - Chapters: 20/? - Created: Apr 10, 2014 - Updated: Apr 10, 2014 156 0 0 0 0
Next update: Saturday 12th April
Songs quoted:
Get Myself Together by Robyn
Teenage Dream by Katy Perry
Come on skinny love just last the year
Pour a little salt we were never here
Skinny Love by Bon Iver/Birdy
"Tell me again why we decided to move in together when were both working like crazy?" Kurt said as he lugged yet another box to his new apartment. New was the wrong word, Kurt thought, as he plonked the box down near the doorway and stared around the open space. The living room area was relatively large, much smaller than the space he had shared with Rachel but just as old and dilapidated. It would need a serious lick of paint, Kurt mused as he continued to envisage what he would do to the place once they had moved in properly. James bumped Kurt along with the next box, kicking his heel in the process.
"Come on Kurt, we havent got all day," he said grumpily, deliberately moving into Kurts space to make his point. "We need to get all these boxes in." Kurt rubbed at his injured heel but thought better of the comment on the tip of his tongue. He closed his mouth and went back to get another box. It wasnt worth the argument it would cause and surely James didnt mean to hurt him.
They finished taking up the boxes in silence, the only sounds a few pained grunts as they lifted and dropped, lifted and dropped. Eventually all the boxes were cleared from the van they had hired and they could peruse the place properly.
"It looks less impressive now, when all our boxes are here," James said as he walked around. The large windows had shone streams of light into the apartment but now the boxes cast shadows on the floor and it became more closed and oppressive - the darkness of the city that Kurt loved. Five years in New York hadnt changed his opinion of the city he had dreamed of as a teenager. He loved its darkness but also craved the limelight and continued to work tirelessly to achieve it. His dreams hadnt diminished but he was happy where he was, off-Broadway shows gave him time to perfect his craft and watching the whole process of a production including its desperate rise to fame, made Kurts skin tingle with anticipation and longing. He strove to be successful and always tried to be the best version of himself. In many ways looking around this apartment that he would now share with his boyfriend James, made him think of how successful they now were. The struggles had been worth it, he was where he wanted to be.
James continued to wander around the apartment, inspecting the walls with a critical eye. He eventually stopped by the window, the light hitting his blonde hair, styled to perfection. His upturned nose and perfectly trimmed stubble made him look so gorgeous that Kurt momentarily thought he was the luckiest guy in the world to be with someone that looked that perfect. James could have come straight out of a magazine and he had modelled for a while but that had only given him the step he needed to push his life into Broadway. He had always sung and danced in competitions and having that quality that they wanted, his lucky break was his first audition. James had never needed to struggle, never been turned down and he never understood why Kurt didnt achieve more, become better. It was a bone of contention, a source of many an argument and Kurt no longer had any fight left. He just wanted to do his best.
"Ill make coffee," Kurt suddenly said as the light shone on James, highlighting the shine of his pristine facial features and blonde hair. He really was gorgeous in those black skinny jeans and loose green tee and Kurt smiled that he was the only one to see what was underneath. James grinned by the window at the sound of the word coffee.
"My angel," James said dramatically, his mood swiftly changing from the grumpiness of earlier. He waved his arm in the air and practically skipped to Kurt, wrapping an arm around his waist so he couldnt move.
"I cant make coffee like this," Kurt moaned with a giggle to his voice, trying to wiggle away slightly.
James loosened his grip so Kurt could set up the coffee machine. He unpacked two mugs, got out the coffee as Kurt switched on the machine and it whirred to life causing another smile to grace James face.
Kurt laughed. "I knew all it would take was a cup of coffee," he said, "Youre so predictable."
"That and food," James said, "Im never allowed any food."
"The price of Broadway," Kurt said shrugging his shoulder and secretly glad he didnt have that pressure.
"Its ok for you, your mom gave you fabulous genes," James said a little moodily.
"Hey," Kurt said indignantly, "I have to work hard for this figure and you know it."
James nodded begrudgingly. Kurt eventually handed him a coffee and James walked to the largest window.
"It is quite a view," James said sipping the black coffee and closing his eyes in pleasure.
"Are you glad were here?" Kurt asked tentatively as he came to stand by his side.
"Oh of course," James said looking at Kurt with wider eyes in surprise. "Its not the best apartment we could have got but its ours and Im sure youll be able to work your magic and make it home."
Kurt smiled at the compliment but knew he meant it as a way of getting out of any serious decorating. That would be Kurts job.
Kurt looked out for what felt the longest time, the world carrying on beneath them. It would soon be time for James to go to the theatre, prepare for his Broadway performance that evening, have an early supper and get into role.
"Are you happy James?"
The question was whispered, taking James from his reverie. He looked at Kurt in surprise.
"What do you mean?" he asked, "Arent you?"
Kurt turned to face James and smiled. "Of course I am, I just worry sometimes that youre not really happy."
James looked out at the world below again, pondering the question a little too long, causing Kurt to feel uneasy.
"I guess I never think too much about that question," he said, "Im as happy as the next person and I have you for the rest." He smiled at Kurt, his eyes a twinkling blue and Kurt relaxed.
James was never one to show too much - never ecstatic, never gleeful - but he could be cross, could be so angry that his whole body would change, all rigid lines and steam. Kurt was just glad he was mainly content with their situation.
"Would you mind unpacking our things?" James said as he finished his coffee and placed the dirty mug by the sink. He started to walk to the bedroom to grab his stuff and carried on the conversation around the apartment, getting louder the further he got from Kurt. "I would stay to help but I have to get to the theatre early. Ernie said something about lighting before I left last night and I said Id help."
Kurt suspected there was no such conversation at the theatre but he let it slide. "Sure," Kurt said, "Ill unpack."
"Thanks, youre a star," James said smiling and leaving Kurt with just a peck on his cheek as he grabbed his new key and closed the door.
"Blaine!" Tessa shouted as soon as she entered the coffee shop. She didnt believe in looking around and trying to find someone first and as she hoped, Blaine alerted her to his presence and waved her over from where he sat in the corner. He passed her the latte he had ordered for her and she sat down with aplomb. Flushed cheeks, shining eyes and her short hair in styled spikes she managed to look composed now as she took her coffee greedily.
"I thought Id never get here," she said breathily, "Thanks for the coffee chuck."
"Right, lets discuss the playlist," Blaine said, sitting up straighter as soon as she had taken a few sips of coffee.
"Woah, someones eager," she said.
"We have to get this right Tess, I dont know this crowd as well as you," Blaine said.
"Fine, fine," she said, placing her coffee next to her, "What are your suggestions?"
"I thought wed open with Teenage Dream then proceed onto Baby Hit Me One More Time, maybe close with some classic Kelly Clarkson?"
"You and your obsession with female singers," she said shaking her head, "Dont make your set too good. I have to open for you and I dont want people to think Im just the appetiser."
"Oh but you are," he said jovially, "You could always sing backup for me."
She gave him her bitchiest stare and he laughed loudly. He pretended to surrender, holding his hands up.
"Are you getting there earlier? You might want to warm up the crowd first, chat to a few people. Its always good to get them on your side."
Blaine nodded happily. "I love my job," he said, "We get to drink and sing and play the piano and live in this fantastic city."
"Yeah its great," she said sarcastically looking through her purse for non-existent money. "So great that I have no money for a second coffee."
"Hey, dont worry, the next is on me too," he said, happily giving her a bill.
"You have money?" she said a little surprised.
"Yeah, they gave it up front for tonight and I already paid my rent," he said smiling widely. "Told you, we have the greatest job."
"Well sometimes I agree with you," she said, "When I have to ask mommy dearest for another loan to pay my rent, I dont think its so cushty."
"Where do you get all these British phrases from?" Blaine said laughing.
"My roomie now is British," Tessa said, "Her names Ruby and shes hilarious."
"When did Jake move out?"
"Last week but you know how it is, theres always someone to replace you in this city that never sleeps. Ruby is tidy at least."
"Ill pop round to warn her of your bad habits," Blaine joked.
"Dont you dare!" she exclaimed, "Shell find out in good time."
Blaine laughed.
"You dont want to get a roommate?" she asked.
"No way," Blaine said, "Well, not as long as I can help it. Id better get back, practice a few songs on my dilapidated piano." He stood up and smiled ruefully. "See you tonight?"
"You bet," she said, "Youll knock em dead and Ill become your roadie and well live happily ever after." She winked and Blaine laughed.
"We tried that in high school remember?" Blaine smirked, "I seem to remember I liked it when I was drunk at the time but not so much in the light of day."
"Ok, ok," she said with pretend annoyance, "I know I dont look good in the morning, that was a low jibe."
"Youre cute," he said in an effort to placate her and he bent down to kiss her on the nose. "But Im a perfect gold star gay now."
"Well if you ever change your mind…" she said with another wink.
"I know where to find my best friend," he said, repeating a phrase they said often. "See you later, beautiful."
"You say that to all the girls," she pouted.
"Only the best and when its true," he laughed and finished his coffee, placing it quickly on their table, leaving Tessa with some money for her next coffee.
"See you tonight," he called from the door and she waved her goodbye, glad that she still knew Blaine, even after all these years.
Kurt practically fell onto the sofa clutching his tea and sighed loudly. His back and arms ached already and he knew he would be in pain during rehearsals the following day. It was late, the curtain-less windows revealing only blackness with the occasional strip of light from the street lighting below. He had managed to unpack everything though his closet would need to be rearranged tomorrow by colour. James hadnt yet returned from his performance though that wasnt unusual. He often went out for drinks and late night parties after a performance, sometimes not returning until the early hours of the morning, knowing full well he could sleep-in. Kurt was used to this and wasnt surprised. He was tired though and he felt along his sore muscles in his neck already suspecting that he would be too tired to actually sleep. He looked around at the apartment he now rented with his boyfriend of two years and admired his handiwork. Gone was the feeling of happiness that he had made it, now he just felt alone.
As much as Rachel had been annoying to live with he couldnt help but think now of how much he missed her noise: practicing scales in the bathroom, singing in the kitchen, twirling in the living room, dancing along to musical films by the sofa, all filled Kurt with happiness. He was free, with Rachel, to be silly and enjoy life and it was only just now that he realised he was now required to be a grown-up. He had moved in with his boyfriend, rented a place where responsibilities would need to be taken seriously if they were to keep up all the bills and he suddenly wanted to dance and sing loudly. He knew James wouldnt approve, would think he was silly, but he didnt care. He chose an upbeat song on his iPod and slotted it into his speaker in his bedroom and danced like there was no tomorrow.
Its all over like steps in the first snow
Somethings been building up and its gonna blow
My momma called me last night, she said when nothing else fits
Pick up the pieces and move on
I see the flashing red lights, just cant make sense of the bits
Its like my mind is gone
I got ... got to get ...
Get my head back on
I got ... got to get ...
Myself together
When this hurt is gone
I got ... got to get ...
Myself together
Kurt circled his hips, lifted his arms and closed his eyes, completely free and not caring at all. He loved dancing like this and he realised that he hadnt done this in so long, never in front of James, who was always so perfect that it made him freer now. This was his only chance.
I got ... got to get ...
Cant tell whats going wrong
I wish that something could be done
Knock that cover
When this hurt is gone
I got ... got to get ...
Myself together
The song finished and he still rocked his hips slowly as he walked over to the speaker to change the song when he realised he had an audience. He looked up sharply at the guy across the way and stood still waiting for a reaction. The guy was gorgeous, even across the apartments Kurt could see that, the guys hair dark and gelled down though a few curls had sprung loose at the nape of his neck. He was dressed in the tightest dark jeans with a mustard bowtie, now loose at the collar. As he realised Kurt had spotted him, he smiled widely, did a quick imitation of Kurts best move and waved happily. Kurt felt the blush rise from his neck and across his cheeks but he waved back and that was it. The guy across the way closed his curtains and Kurt realised he had been standing there like a creeper and he went to the bathroom to start his evening routine. He had no idea when James would return and he may as well go to bed without him.
As he changed he realised he could see into that guys apartment, just like he could see through his; their bathrooms and bedroom being opposite. Kurt hadnt put up curtains in any of the rooms yet and so he changed quickly and went to brush his teeth.
Kurt wasmoisturising in rhythmic circular patterns along his cheeks in the bathroom when he realised both windows were open slightly and he could hear someone singing though it was faint. He looked across to find the same guy, moisturising his own face with a faint smile on his face and singing softly. The windows were so close together that Kurt could make out he was singing a Katy Perry song and Kurt smiled as he recognised the words.
You think Im pretty
Without any makeup on
You think Im funny
When I tell the punch line wrong
I know you get me
So I let my walls come down, down
The guy seemed to sense he was being watched and he glanced over at Kurt by the window and beamed again, waving in greeting and as he finished he clearly mouthed goodnight. Kurt, a little surprised, just waved back and the guy switched off the light, swamping his apartment in darkness, making Kurt realize he was alone once more.