The house was too quiet. Despite the announcement that they were temporarily free from prying cameras and the need to censor their behaviour, the housemates were silent as they finished chores and getting ready for a casual evening. The board across the window was a constant reminder that their security had been breached, and as much as they had started to dislike being in the same place all the time with such a lack of freedom, it was even more confusing to realise they craved safety and confinement more than the outside world. Out there was unknown and scary; inside the house they knew what to expect, who to trust and share a common experience with.

The housemates all stuck together that evening. People that were closer clung to each other, following friends around wherever they went causing the individuals that chose their own company in the house to seem more set apart. Heidi, Faye and Bradley; El, Anisa and Ed; Kurt and Blaine seemed to seek reassurance in the others; Sebastian and Nicola were individuals, set apart and seemingly lonely despite Kurt's best interests to include Nicola in conversation. She seemed worried, her lip under her teeth, her eyes darting to the window and Sebastian as if coming to a decision about something but not letting it direct her actions either way. She looked torn.

They all eventually settled on the sofas, dinner finished, silence settling once again and Sebastian suddenly huffed in annoyance, causing everyone to stare at him.

"Oh come on," he said, "Why is everyone being so boring and introspective? We should be living it up as the cameras are off. I for one just really want to swear loads and be blown somewhere in the corner of a bedroom."

Everyone looked a little shocked at what had just come out of Sebastian's mouth, Kurt definitely angry that he couldn't keep his mind out of his pants for a few weeks, but Blaine looked positively seething. He seemed to snap and Kurt had never seen him like that. He sat back slightly from his position on the sofa where he had been cuddled into Blaine's side, Blaine now sitting upright, his face angry.

"Oh just shut the fuck up," Blaine shouted and Sebastian's mouth gaped. "You've been talking shit ever since you arrived, just leave us alone."

"Woah," Sebastian said, "This is the reason Blaine is a clear advertisement for the need for regular sex. I can tell straight away that someone needs a good fuck and is dying from frustration." Sebastian smirked and looked around the room as if to garner attention and approval from the rest. They all just looked awkward.

"What?" Blaine whispered and it seemed the use of the lower volume, the steely gaze in his direction had Sebastian more concerned than Blaine's initial outburst. Sebastian made a slight attempt to appear confident and clarify but he looked a little scared as Blaine stood and walked over. "What did you say?"

"Hey lighten up," Sebastian said, laughing nervously, clearly looking towards the others to find an ally, someone to back up his joke and laugh too. "I was only joking."

"Just fuck off Sebastian," Blaine said, suddenly the steam gone, "No one wants you here especially not for a fuck." He looked over Sebastian like he was scum and walked out to the bedroom.

Not a word was said as he left, everyone looking to Kurt to fix it. He followed Blaine after a while, Sebastian starting his slew of excuses for Blaine's behaviour as he left.

Kurt wandered in to find Blaine sitting on his bed, his knees up for comfort and his eyes sad as he looked up at Kurt's sympathetic face.

"You ok?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah," Blaine said quietly, "Sorry for making a scene."

"Sebastian really pissing you off?" Kurt quirked an eyebrow, knowing there was probably more to this than he had assumed.

"I just hate how he trivialises everything. I mean not everything is about sex and not everyone thinks with their dick."
Kurt looked at Blaine carefully. He looked like he was battling with something and felt wretched and Kurt suddenly knew what it was all about. He came closer so they were both resting their backs on the headboard and took the chance to stroke along Blaine's thigh which induced a slight shiver. Blaine closed his eyes and swallowed.

"It's ok to feel like that though, isn't it?" Kurt asked, almost a whisper and Blaine seemed to battle again until he opened his eyes to look directly at Kurt.

"You feel like that?" Blaine said apprehensively.

"Of course I do Blaine," Kurt said almost giggling, "Have you seen you? It's almost impossible not to feel like that around you. It doesn't mean you're a dick like Sebastian it just means we've been trapped in here for too long."

Blaine looked at Kurt as if he'd given him a lifeline and explained something fundamental to his being.

"It's just my parents have always brought me up very morally, like the whole idea of sex is wrong and not to be enjoyed. Don't get me wrong," he started after a look at Kurt's concerned face, "I know they're wrong, sex is fantastic, I'm not a virgin but I also always want it to be special and I guess the idea that I could think of it all the time makes me feel a little like a crazy sex maniac."

Kurt laughed a little and lay back so his head was on the wall behind them, exposing his neck a little and causing Blaine to swallow again at the sight.

"Do you know how much that is true of me, what I think of all the time, what I dream of as we cosy up together or at night when I'm tucked into your side?" Blaine just shook his head but a little hope surged through him too.

"I think of you Blaine," Kurt whispered, "Doing things to me, being free to touch and kiss like you want to. I'm always the first up so I can escape to the bathroom and sort my morning erection and wet spots out before I completely scare you away." He chuckled nervously, hoping the relay of information now wouldn't scare him away either. Blaine looked a little shocked and then his eyes darkened at the thought and he groaned slightly.

"You do?"

"Yeah, totally," Kurt said laughing, "After that time in the hot tub? I totally had to jerk off in the bathroom afterwards; I couldn't sleep next to you after that."

"You...." Blaine tried to comprehend it, tried not to let the images sink into his mind but he was weaker than even he knew. "Damn, Kurt," he moaned and swooped in to kiss him, sucking Kurt's bottom lip and causing Kurt to jump a little closer, nearly into his lap. The kiss was dirty and desperate and without even thinking Kurt's lips parted and gasped out his next words.

"Cameras..."

"Not on," Blaine reminded him and he took to the same position as before, his fingers now snaking along the soft skin underneath his shirt which had ridden up in Kurt's effort to get closer. "I've wanted to do this for so long," Blaine moaned against Kurt's open mouth, "To really kiss you, not worry about what people think, just take you...." Kurt moaned loudly as Blaine gasped out each word. The cameras weren't on and he was really hoping that no one would walk in but he really didn't care right now, not when Blaine was working his way towards Kurt's ear, sucking and nibbling his way along his jaw and making him come undone. Blaine nudged Kurt backwards so he was lying flat on his back. Kurt can't remember a time when he has ever been this hard and apparently Blaine can feel it too because he feels Blaine's moan on his neck as a vibration and moans too.

"Is this ok?" Blaine asks.

"So ok, so ok," Kurt mutters, not caring what anyone thinks outside the here and now and the space they occupy. He ruts up chasing the friction and Blaine moans again.

"God you're so hot," Blaine said.

Kurt whines in reply, hips jerking up to meet Blaine's of their own free will. He's never been this turned on before, never this desperate and for a fleeting second he thinks maybe they should slow down, savour the moment but then Blaine starts to nibble afresh along his neck and he loses all self-control. He ruts harder and faster, his wandering hands exploring Blaine's strong back. He knows this is tacky, feeling through his jeans but the knowledge that this will probably be the only joy they'll get whilst inside the house, makes Kurt more desperate to feel and to take.

"Please don't stop," Kurt begs, already on the verge of coming undone. "Please, Blaine."

Blaine just whines in response and pushes harder. He really has been thinking of this non-stop, every time Kurt wears those inappropriately tight pants or when he bends over or when he licks his finger after dessert. The thoughts, those burning feelings – he knows he's going to come hard and fast but he can't wait. He tries to chase the feeling, ride the wave but Kurt moans loudly again, clinging on to his back in desperation and he comes in his pants like a horny teenager. Blaine continues to rut until Kurt joins him and they chase the feeling together until they inevitably come down and pant to get their breath back.

"Oh fuck, now my pants are ruined," Kurt says after a while as the stickiness sinks in and he realises that anyone could have heard through the thin walls.

Blaine laughs. "Mine too," he said, "I can't believe we did that."

"Do you think they heard us?" Kurt asked.

"Probably," Blaine shrugs and just as he is about to say something to reassure Kurt not to worry, Sebastian shouts through the door.

"Yes we heard it all," he said.

"Best porno sounds ever!" Nicola exclaims and Kurt and Blaine can hear clear laugher from the other side but the only thing they can think of is how good it felt and how it was nice to hear Nicola laugh again, tension apparently gone.

Normal services seemed to resume for the television show the morning after. Someone came to fix the window early in the morning when the housemates were still asleep and everything seemed to be the same as before. It surprised them that another week had passed and everyone was asked to nominate housemates for eviction. They increasingly felt as if they had been through a battle together so they were suddenly loathe to nominate people in the house but everyone nominated Sebastian, already sensing he was an outsider and not liking how he antagonised others. Some nominated Bradley, others Ed, just because they felt they knew him the least. Faye was the one that tipped the vote in favour of Bradley, causing Ed and Sebastian to be up for eviction that weekend.

Blaine was cold towards Sebastian and refused to engage him in longer conversations. Sebastian would ask him a trivial question or piece of advice and Blaine would give word one answers, avoid him when he could and this irked Sebastian more than the shouting had previously. Sebastian knew he would have to do damage control if he wanted to remain in the house and hoping that Blaine was as popular on the outside as he had assumed he went over to him as he made coffee one day in the kitchen.

"Blaine," he said to indicate his presence but Blaine barely acknowledged him with a small nod of his head. "Please Blaine."

The slight worry in Sebastian's voice, so uncharacteristic of him, made Blaine look slightly at him before continuing to make the coffee he had promised Kurt.

"Yes?" he said simply.

"Don't be like that," Sebastian whined slightly, looking apologetic, "I'm sorry ok? I won't say things like that again, I promise."

Blaine looked to see how earnest he was and realised that although Sebastian looked only mildly apologetic, perhaps Blaine had overreacted and he should just let him off. He knew he wouldn't keep in touch with him on the outside so the least he could do on the inside was be civil.

"Ok," he said slowly, "You don't have to keep mentioning sex all the time."

"It seemed to work for you the other day though, right?" Sebastian smirked, "I mean my conversation seemed to send you straight into Kurt's arms for what sounded like a pretty awesome orgasm."

Blaine couldn't deny it had been awesome and he found himself smiling, his lips slowly rising into a smile, causing Sebastian to relax a little.

"Pretty crap that you won't get to do that again anytime soon, right?"

Blaine still didn't want to allude to it on television so he merely stirred the coffee and left the kitchen, giving Sebastian a little grin as he left.

The friendship that developed between Nicola and Kurt seemed to strengthen as time went on. They would sit in corners seeming to have conversations about inconsequential things and although the topics of ex-boyfriends and drug deals were not alluded to again while the cameras whirred on, their friendship grew. No one mentioned Amber and nothing happened to make any of the housemates believe that they were in trouble but Nicola was constantly tense and only seemed to relax slightly around Kurt. She was extra careful in front of the cameras and seemed to find unlikely friendships with Heidi and Faye who accepted her the way she was.

The housemates were surprised awake the following morning – the night of evictions – by the sound of tinkling piano keys and the quiet voice of Nicola. It was Kurt who untangling himself from Blaine's arms and legs first came out to watch and listen to her sing the sweet song.

I guess it's funnier from where you're standing
Cause from over here I missed the joke
Clear the way for my crash landing
I've done it again
Another number for your notes

I'd be smiling if I wasn't so desperate
I'd be patient if I had the time
I could stop and answer all of your questions
As soon as I find out
How I can move from the back of the line

She looked so down as she played, her eyes resolutely staying on the keys as she sang, that Kurt could watch by the door frame, trying not to move to disturb her strange kind of peace.

I'll be your clown
Behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh
Cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me
I'll be your clown
On your favourite channel
My life's a circus circus
Round in circles
I'm selling out tonight

I'd be less angry if it was my decision
And the money was just rolling in
If I had more than my ambition
I'll have time for 'Please'
I'll have time for 'Thank you'
As soon as I win

Kurt knew she was ambitious but he also knew that she wanted so much more than simply to win fame. She wanted what everyone wanted really – just someone to love and to feel love in return.

I'll be your clown
Behind the glass
Go 'head and laugh
Cause it's funny
I would too if I saw me
I'll be your clown
On your favourite channel
My life's a circus circus
Round in circles
I'm selling out tonight

From a distance my choice is simple
From a distance I can entertain
So you can see me
I put make-up on my face
But there's no way you can feel it
From so far away

Kurt didn't realise he had tears streaming down his face until she stopped and he felt along his cheeks. The action of wiping at his tears seemed to alert Nicola to his presence and she turned to face him, her expression so open and honest, he smiled and came closer to silently hug her. Still seated at the piano, she nestled her face slightly in his surprisingly strong chest and smiled.

"Thanks," she whispered as she got up and walked to the diary room and Kurt tinkled at the piano himself, guessing what Nicola had to say and smiling sadly at her courage and hoping it all worked out in the end and caused no more grief.

"Hello Nicola," the voice in the diary said, "How are you today?"

"I've come to say something," she said, cutting through the crap to get to the point and steeling herself for what was to come. "I want to finally say that I love Amber. I love Amber the way I'm supposed to love men but I don't care what people think. I've already alluded to it and I know it will be tough but I know so much more than people can threaten with. I know what you did and who you are," she said, her voice cold and emotionless, spoken directly to the camera. "I know and I'm not ashamed of how I feel and what I am."

"Amber," she said, her voice softening, "If you're watching, please know I'm sorry but I love you and we shouldn't be ashamed of who we love."

The voice behind the camera took a while to respond and when it did it wasn't what Nicola had assumed they would say.

"Thank you Nicola," it said in the usual voice, barely giving anything away, "What made you say this, what has changed?"

Nicola thought for a second then smiled.

"An unlikely friend I've made in the house has shown me what real courage is and I refuse to back down."