Blaine didn't manage to eat anything before he was to make his second trip to the chemotherapy ward. Now the nurses had been warned of his extreme sickness they had prepared stronger medication for him to take to avoid it again. Kurt, Richard and Clarissa were told that Blaine's reaction to the chemotherapy yesterday had been strong and that although nausea was to be expected, severe vomiting was not. He was given a cardboard bowl and prepared for the cannula once again.

Blaine looked pale, his eyes sunken in a gaunt face, and Kurt could barely look at him without constantly asking if he was ok. Blaine could only say he was fine, which Kurt knew to be a lie, and sit with his wrist out, the tight strap on his arm to help his vein become more noticeable. Kurt looked around the ward, recognised a few people from yesterday and wondered how many people faced this long day just as many times as Blaine. At least tomorrow would be the last long day, the rest of the three week cycle only a few treatments for two or three hours. Kurt turned to face Blaine when he heard the familiar retching.

"Oh Blaine," he said quickly getting up to call for a nurse who rapidly closed the curtains around Blaine to give him some privacy. Blaine retched a few times, nothing but bile coming up, as he hadn't managed breakfast. The nurse called for the doctor and stayed with them both. After a while the sickness calmed down, Blaine breathing heavily and he closed his eyes with tiredness. Kurt felt useless but lightly stroked his face and hands.

"Has he reacted to the medication at all?" Dr Clarke whispered to the nurse nearby although Kurt noticed. The nurse shook her head and Kurt took in the worried expression of the doctor, standing up quickly.

"What's wrong?" he said loudly, "What's wrong with Blaine?"

"Blaine will be fine. Kurt is it?" Dr Clarke asked and Kurt nodded. "We'll let him rest for a bit, give him a shorter treatment today if he reacts well to the anti-sickness medication we will give him now. Sickness is to be expected, the treatment is quite strong so it can work. Although Blaine has reacted badly we do have the medicine to make it better. Now we know, we can make sure he takes this during the next cycle and it won't happen again."

"Good," Kurt said, clearly annoyed and turning to check on Blaine again. "I mean this could have been prevented, he shouldn't have to suffer anymore than he is."

He walked off in a huff, sat down by Blaine and checked he was ok, whispering in Blaine's ear. Blaine only nodded slightly, his eyes closed; it took too much effort to concentrate on anything around him. A nurse soon approached them to give the prescribed pills and Blaine opened his eyes. He looked around him and although he was still pale, he looked better. He said nothing but Dr Clarke returned an hour later to check that his treatment could go ahead.

"How are you feeling Blaine?" he asked quietly, Kurt noticing the patients around eyeing them with curiosity. It was quite rare for anyone to be sick on the ward and they looked sympathetic.

"A little better," Blaine whispered. Dr Clarke nodded.

"Do you think we could try a shorter treatment today? It would mean a longer treatment tomorrow but after that the cycle will return to normal."

Blaine didn't want anymore, wasn't sure he could face it but he looked in the kind eyes of the doctor who he knew only wanted the best for him and he nodded slightly.

"Good," Dr Clarke said smiling hopefully. "I'll let the nurse know."

"Are you sure you're ok?" Kurt asked once Dr Clarke had gone. "I can tell them that you're not well enough, I can take you home."

"No," Blaine said, his jaw set as he looked at Kurt. He saw the worry etched on Kurt's face and his expression softened. "I'll be ok, I have to do this."

Kurt couldn't bear it as Margaret came over to check he was ok to have the cannula placed in his vein and the process started again. Blaine steeled himself for the horrible experience and Kurt avoided watching by observing those around him.

A thin older woman was doing what appeared to be crossword, another younger woman probably in her fifties was reading. One man was reading the newspaper while his wife chatted away happily, seemingly unaware that her husband was no longer listening to her. Kurt smiled at her as she caught his eye and she smiled too.

"He's not listening, is he?" she suddenly said across the way, indicating her husband who looked up quickly as if he had been caught. Kurt laughed.

Margaret who was easing the cannula into Blaine's wrist was joking with Blaine who suddenly chuckled and Kurt turned to face them in surprise.

"Quite the charmer with those lovely eyes isn't he?" Margaret said to Kurt and she winked. "He's a keeper," she whispered, leaning to talk to Kurt conspiratorially. Kurt smiled and looked over at a tired Blaine who tried a smile too.

"Yes he is," Kurt said, stroking Blaine's hand as it rested on the arm of the comfy chair. As Margaret left, Blaine closed his eyes, seeming to search for the strength that lay buried deep inside and Kurt stroked his hand repeatedly, the only way he could give comfort.

Kurt saw the nurses carrying on their jobs, checking cannulas and bags of solution, making sure the patients were drinking regularly and writing on their charts. They laughed with those that were awake or offered cups of tea for those staying a longer time. Every so often tears filled Kurt's eyes at the cheer and laughter, wondering if the people here would survive the year, wondering how they could be so nonchalant about it all. The lady opposite Kurt, who had spoken before, caught his eye again and smiled sympathetically as if she could read his mind.

"This is a place of miracles," she said, looking directly at Kurt, "Imagine where we would be without it."

Kurt said nothing but Blaine opened his eyes, hearing what she had said though not understanding what had gone on between her and Kurt. Kurt finally nodded his head and turned his face to Blaine, kissing his cheek.

"Would you like me to read to you?" he asked. Blaine nodded and smiled, closing his eyes and laying back slightly in his seat. Kurt took out Blaine's familiar and tatted copy of 'The Velveteen Rabbit' and opened it to start reading quietly.

His voice was melodious and he glanced every so often to check on Blaine. Although he looked like he was sleeping, his breathing evening out, he also smiled every so often as he heard the familiar lines. Kurt didn't notice the eyes of those around him in the ward, listening carefully to a simple children's story read by someone that loved dearly.

"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off," Kurt read, "And your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand. Once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."

Kurt took in Blaine's peaceful smile as his eyes remained closed but didn't notice the tears in the eyes of the lady opposite, her quick glance to her husband as he continued to read his newspaper oblivious to what was happening.

---

The medication seemed to make a difference and Blaine wasn't sick that night or the following day when the treatment was repeated. Kurt nursed him, gave him drinks of water and tried to persuade him to eat. Dry crackers were now too bland but Blaine couldn't stomach anything too rich in flavour so Kurt prepared toast for dinner and pancakes for breakfast. Blaine barely spoke, the tiredness creeping upon him and he could barely keep his eyes focused on the movie they were watching in bed after the third day.

"Do you want the light off?" Kurt asked.

"Only if you've finished watching the movie, I can stay up for a little longer," Blaine said quickly, though his body remained slouched against the many pillows.

"Don't be silly Blaine, you can go to sleep, you must be exhausted."

Kurt prepared the bed and turned off the movie but Blaine stopped him.

"Will you come to bed with me?" he asked quietly. Kurt looked at him, his curly head already on the pillow, his pale cheeks scrunched in an adorable questioning expression. Kurt smiled.

"Of course," he said, changing quickly and slipping under the covers. Blaine cuddled close to Kurt as soon as he felt the warmth in the bed and he chuckled.

"You know if I was better I'd be doing so much more to you than cuddling," Blaine said. Kurt smiled and kissed the top of his head.

"We can have all the sex you like when you're better my love," he said sweetly as Blaine drifted off to sleep.

---

The rest of the treatment went as expected. The smaller sessions were only one or two hours, a chemical called Bleomycin was given through the cannula and these sessions were bearable for Blaine. He noticed more of the side effects occurring and Kurt tried to do his best to relieve some of the pain. Blaine started getting ulcers in his mouth making it impossible to eat anything too solid or hot and he suddenly found it hard to drink even simple water.

"Milk's best," he said one morning and Kurt gave him what he needed.

"I don't understand how it all works," Kurt said, looking confused.

"I don't know either," Blaine said as he cleaned his stomach with an alcohol wipe. He squeezed his stomach muscles closer together in preparation for his injection. Kurt waited for him to finish before he spoke again.

"How do you manage to do that? Doesn't it make you feel squeamish?"

"You get used to it," Blaine said, grimacing a bit as the pain of the injection kicked in. They had to be inserted quite deeply, and then more steroid pills were swallowed. "I seem to be doing nothing but taking medication."

"It makes you better though right?" Kurt said smiling hopefully. Blaine nodded.

---

He wasn't allowed many visitors in case of infection but as the end of the first cycle came and his injections helped maintain his immunity, he could have a few visitors round. Tina visited first and brought an array of medicines that Blaine couldn't really take but he appreciated the thought anyway. She promised her chicken soup would make him feel better and Clarissa went to dutifully heat it up.

Finn and Rachel visited too, though Finn sat awkwardly, clearly unsure what to say. He took one look at Blaine's patchy hair, tried to hide his shock and failed miserably as he resolutely looked at his hands, then at Rachel. Kurt noticed and gave him a stern look.

"It looks pretty bad doesn't it?" Blaine said quietly but he was greeted by silence. "It's alright guys, you can say it. I need to shave my head, don't I?"

Kurt looked kindly at Blaine and was determined to be brave. He had noticed the sudden patches of hair on the floor of the house as well as clumps in the shower but hadn't said anything. Blaine would put his hand through his curls some mornings and reveal a clump of hair in his hand and look on in worry but Kurt would only say positive things, hoping Blaine wouldn't worry. Kurt really had believed that just some would fall out, not all, but now Blaine had bald patches, his olive skin showing through and although Blaine had foregone gel a few weeks ago, his curls couldn't hide it any longer.

"Maybe one of us could shave it for you?" Kurt asked. Blaine nodded, finally glad that the tension seemed to have been lifted about the gradual loss of his hair.

"Yeah you'd look like that cool dude, what's his name? Jason Statham," Finn said, getting a little too excited. "Or Vin Diesel."

Blaine chuckled at the awkward conversation.

"I've spent years trying to tame my curls with gel, I never thought I'd miss them."

They were interrupted by the doorbell and Sam entered the house once Richard opened the door.

"Sorry guys, maybe some of you should go," he said apologetically, "The doctors worry about infection and he shouldn't be around so many people."

"That's ok Mr. Anderson," Finn said as he and Rachel prepared to go, "We'll see you soon Blaine."

"I should go too," Tina said, "Let me know how you find the soup."

"Thanks Tina," Blaine said smiling warmly.

After a while Sam sat sheepishly until Blaine started the conversation again.

"You can say it too," Blaine said, "I'm losing my hair."

"It's totally ok dude," Sam said lifting his hands in the air, "I totally think you could rock the Vin Diesel look."

Blaine laughed.

"Actually Sam maybe you could shave it off for me?" Blaine asked.

Sam's eyes widened.

"Really? You'd trust me to do that?"

"Sure," Blaine said smiling and shrugging, "You're my best friend and it would be hard for Kurt to do."

Kurt nodded. He would only worry about accidentally hurting his head. Kurt prepared the bathroom upstairs so Sam could remove the hair carefully. Sam did most of the cutting with trimmers first then his eyes rose as Clarissa popped her head round the bathroom door.

"You guys ok?" she asked nervously, Blaine's hair now very short and in patches.

"Yeah sure mom," Blaine said smiling to show his belief in Sam, "Say goodbye to the hair."

She said nothing, only came closer to kiss Blaine on the forehead and left them alone. Richard joined Kurt in the living room as he tried to watch television to distract himself from the activity upstairs.

"You didn't want to do it yourself?" Richard asked. Kurt kept his eyes on the television screen but shook his head.

"I couldn't," he said, "What if I hurt him?"

"You wouldn't," Richard said simply. They sat in silence for a while, both pretending to watch the mindless game show in front of them.

"How have you been?" he asked after a few minutes. Kurt looked up in surprise.

"I'm ok," he said, "I'm not ill."

"No, I know but it's important you get your rest. Don't put too much on yourself Kurt."

Kurt looked a little annoyed but said nothing. Wasn't it Blaine that was seriously ill? Why did so many people want to know how he was handling it too? He wasn't important now.

Blaine came down behind Sam who carried the razor he had used.

"So how do I look?" Blaine asked, a smile tugging at his face in the hope that his family wouldn't react too badly. He was mostly worried about Kurt who continued to stare at him. "Kurt?"

Kurt's eyes filled with tears but he stood up quickly and hugged Blaine close to him.

"You look beautiful," he said smiling through the tears. It really hit him that Blaine was seriously ill, the treatment so nasty that it caused his hair to fall out. Blaine didn't want the pity, Kurt knew, and he was determined to not show the sadness but it was there nonetheless until Sam started talking about the latest game with Richard and talk turned to a match that was on that evening.

It was only as Kurt and Blaine lay in bed that night that Blaine whispered against Kurt's chest, checking he was ok.

"Of course I'm ok Blaine," Kurt said quietly, "Don't worry about me."

"It was a shock to you though?" Blaine asked.

"Just a little, it made me realize."

"Realize what?"

"That'd I love you no matter what, in fact I think I love you more now than I ever have before. Does that sound silly?"

"No it's just like in 'The Velveteen Rabbit'," Blaine said quietly, "You're like the boy who loved him so hard that he loved all his whiskers off. To him he was always beautiful, and that was all that the little Rabbit cared about. He didn't mind how he looked to other people, because the nursery magic had made him real and he was loved."

Kurt said nothing but clutched Blaine closer to him in the hope that he wouldn't hear or feel the tears pouring down his face and rocked him to sleep in his protective arms.