Dec. 7, 2013, 6 p.m.
Love of the Loved: Chapter 3
E - Words: 3,147 - Last Updated: Dec 07, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 11/? - Created: Sep 21, 2013 - Updated: Sep 21, 2013 142 0 0 0 0
A/N: I can't believe I'm writing any of this…. I hope someone is still reading and that I'm not being utterly crap at getting this down properly. Let me know what you think!
The show had been fantastic and walking back to Kurt's apartment was chilly but both Blaine and Kurt were wrapped up and felt the warmth that only affection brings. Burt carried on talking whilst Blaine and Kurt listened, speaking of the show and how much he had grown as a father in the last few years. His reprise of Single Ladies was mentioned with laughter and Blaine almost forgot that he was to return to Lima the following day in time for his surgery this week.
"I think a hot chocolate is in order, don't you?" Burt said, mentioning it was another Hummel tradition. Soon they sat at the bar of the café with tall hot chocolates, the frothy cream spiralled on top and they carefully removed some with their finger, taking in the comfortable silence, each deep in their own thoughts.
"I'm coming home with you tomorrow too," Kurt said, breaking the peace.
"What about your school work?" Burt said.
"Gosh Dad, do you really think that matters now?"
"It does, it will always matter," Burt said. Blaine stayed deliberately quiet, his own need for Kurt to return to Lima caused a clutching at his heart, filling it with such hope he couldn't voice his opinion without sounding desperate.
"Dad you know how stubborn I can get, you don't want to push me on this."
"Your education comes first Kurt, I think Blaine would agree with me here." Burt looked to Blaine with such a hopeful expression, which quickly turned to sadness when he saw the desperation in Blaine's eyes.
"Ok," Burt said. He looked liked he was finally admitting defeat.
"Look Dad I'll only stay for Blaine's surgery and then I'll see what happens. There are some things that are just more important than education."
Burt nodded solemnly.
Kurt gave Blaine a quiet smile as Blaine struggled to regain control over his emotion. The need for Kurt to come back, to support him through this was so overwhelming he knew if he tried to speak his gratitude he would cry. Burt seemed to understand too and his expression softened as he changed topic by raising his hot chocolate.
"Here's to us," Burt said, "Family."
They all clinked mugs, a lone tear finally escaping Blaine's eye as he smiled to be included in their family.
The flight home was full of tension, Burt desperately trying to turn the subject to anything but cancer whilst Blaine and Kurt were clinging to those thoughts that made them feel morose and miserable. Blaine's surgery was to be tomorrow and Kurt had so many questions that he knew wouldn't be answered until afterwards. The lack of control and knowledge seemed to be driving him mad as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt, looking out the window at Ohio below.
Burt had parked at the airport and drove Blaine back home, Kurt insisting that he see Blaine's parents and ask if he could come tomorrow. Clarissa was surprised to see them all at the door.
"Thank you for taking Blaine to New York, Mr Hummel," she said as they sat to drink tea.
"Please, call me Burt," he said smiling sweetly, "And it was worth it to see Kurt's face light up at the ice rink."
Clarissa smiled. She had always liked Kurt and seeing Blaine in love had been so sweet that she couldn't share the same opinion as her husband. Two men could easily love each other and although she knew the couple had trouble this year, not knowing what Blaine had done, she remained optimistic that they would sort it out soon.
"Where's Dad?" Blaine asked after a while.
"At the office." Clarissa said, "He wants to make sure he can come to the hospital tomorrow and not have to worry about work."
"About that…." Blaine began, "I know it'll be a lot of people but I wondered if Kurt could come too?"
Clarissa looked at Kurt and smiled. She had assumed he would come too and it just proved to her what a big heart Kurt had.
"Of course," she said, "How long do you have off college Kurt?"
"As long as Blaine needs me," he stated confidently and she smiled again.
"No longer than a week," Burt said quickly, changing the atmosphere slightly.
Kurt nodded.
"Well the operation is tomorrow and at the end of the week we will have the appointment with the oncologist who will explain the results of the scans and blood tests. He'll tell us how to proceed from there."
Although she no longer needed to work, Clarissa had once been a tour de force at her office as a managing secretary and her organised training flowed through even in the most horrible of circumstances. Her nails were finely manicured; her hands placed in her lap as she explained the procedure tomorrow, to the consternation of Blaine who squirmed in his seat and went red.
"Right, let me make dinner," Clarissa said getting up, "Burt and Kurt would you like to stay? Richard will be home soon."
Burt said, "Thank you for the invitation but I best be getting back to Carole." He looked to Kurt as if expecting him to follow but Blaine's eyes widened and he quickly glanced at his Mum in panic.
"Kurt?" Burt said.
Kurt looked at Blaine then Clarissa, who instantly understood.
"You're more than welcome to stay Kurt," she said, "In fact why don't you stay the night. We can take you to the hospital with us tomorrow."
Kurt looked hopefully at his father who smiled in understanding.
"Sure thing kiddo," he said, "Ring us tomorrow though, let us know how it goes and I'm sure Carole wants to see you while you're here too."
Kurt hugged his Dad tightly, glad he understood and as Burt went to leave he enveloped Blaine in his arms too.
"Hope it goes well tomorrow Blaine."
"Thanks Burt," Blaine said, "For everything." He whispered, letting him know just how important Burt was to him.
As Burt left, his car coming out of the driveway, Richard pulled up and got out of the car.
"Was that Burt that just drove past?"
"Yeah, he had to go home to Carole," Clarissa said, "He wouldn't stay to dinner but he brought Blaine home to us." She circled her arm around Blaine who was standing near her.
"Good," Richard said, "How are you son?"
Blaine nodded, his only explanation to how he was feeling.
"Kurt, good to see you again," Richard said, walking through to the living area where he took off his shoes whilst Blaine and Clarissa started dinner.
"And you sir," he said politely. Richard laughed.
"Come now, you don't have to address me so formally, I thought we'd got over that."
"Sorry," Kurt said sheepishly.
"So are you worried?" Richard asked as he sat back in his chair, one foot resting sideways on his thigh. Kurt thought that he always did start with the most direct questions.
"Yes," Kurt whispered. Richard nodded.
"It seems a little out of the blue doesn't it? I mean Blaine must have had that lump for a while and not noticed." Richard didn't seem to mind discussing such delicate subjects with him and Kurt briefly glanced at the door, worried Blaine would walk in when they were discussing him so personally.
"It will be fine though I'm sure," Richard continued confidently. "We have the most expensive and learned people on his team and I've read about the procedure. He'll be home tomorrow night once they've checked he's recovered from the anaesthetic and although the area will be sore he won't have any lasting damage."
Kurt nodded. Richard seemed to enjoy the power in knowledge too and Kurt realised in that area Blaine was very much like his father.
"Did you know that the body compensates, that he should have no trouble having children in the future? It's amazing what the body can do." Richard carried on talking, barely acknowledging Kurt's presence. Kurt blushed that he was having this conversation with Blaine's father and could only nod.
"Thank you for coming home with Blaine though Kurt," he said, his expression sincere, his eyes burning holes in Kurt's. "I know it means a lot to him."
"I wish I didn't have to come home for such a reason but I wouldn't be able to stay in New York while this was going on. I need to be here."
"You still love him then?"
Kurt was taken aback at the directness of the question, his eyes wide but there was only a second of hesitation before he answered, surprising even himself.
"Yes."
"Good," Richard said smiling, "I don't pretend to understand it: how a man can love another man, but I'm glad you love my son." Kurt smiled.
"I think he's the most important person to me," Kurt said.
"Dinner's nearly ready," Clarissa suddenly said by the door, her expression showing quite clearly that she had heard at least the last part of their conversation.
They ate whilst comfortably chatting about days at work and all Blaine and Kurt had done in New York over Christmas. There were chuckles about ice-skating and singing, and nothing was mentioned about cancer and pain. Kurt glanced at Blaine during the conversation and couldn't help but wonder how he could look perfectly well, though a little tired, and still have cancer coursing through his body, trying to take over and ruin his happiness.
It was soon time for bed and gone were the times of awkwardness; Kurt knew he would sleep with Blaine that night. They changed in silence, Blaine taking one or two glances at Kurt's naked form briefly before pyjamas were put on and they snuck under the covers. Blaine instantly lay on Kurt's chest, his favourite place.
"Do you think it'll change things?" Blaine whispered into Kurt's chest. "I know it seems silly but do you think I'll be less of a man?" He couldn't look at Kurt, the glimmer of the bedside lamp shining on Kurt's face only.
"Blaine, the measure of a man isn't in his crotch."
Blaine chuckled at the absurdity of it all but the silence after the comment told Kurt so much more.
"You're so brave Blaine, you're the best man I know and that won't change tomorrow after the surgery."
"Would you go out with someone with just one though?" Kurt ignored the weight of the question and laughed.
"Of course I would. You're having a prosthesis though right?"
"Yeah."
"Then what's the issue? Your Dad was telling me how the other compensates for the loss."
Blaine cringed.
"No he didn't," Blaine muttered, even though he knew.
"I'm afraid so," Kurt said laughing, "Your Dad is great though. He's worried about you but doesn't want to show it."
"I know," Blaine whispered, "They've been really great about it all actually, though I never really doubted it."
There was a comfortable silence where Kurt could feel Blaine's breath on his chest where his pyjamas opened slightly to reveal his collarbone. It was nice to rest here together and although Kurt would never want to admit it, he had missed the cuddles the most. He breathed in the familiar scent of Blaine's hair gel, used even during sleep, and sighed.
"Thank you for coming back," Blaine whispered, sounding like he was close to sleep.
"Don't mention it."
The following morning everyone was rushing around, desperate to get into the shower or sort breakfast and no one mentioned the surgery even at the breakfast table, just pleasantries about college courses and working in finance. Nothing looked out of the ordinary, unless you noticed the shaky hands under the table or the nervous flitting of Blaine's eyes to the people he cared for most.
Blaine was taken into a waiting office and the procedure explained in more detail then he was directed to a private room where he undressed and waited. Clarissa and Richard said they were going to get coffees and would be back shortly, leaving Blaine and Kurt to wait.
"It's drafty in here," Blaine whined and Kurt suppressed a smile.
"Well you do have your derriere on show," he said and Blaine pulled a face.
They were joined by a nurse who looked like she had seen and been through it all. Blaine was prepared for surgery while Kurt tried to read the latest edition of Vogue.
The doctor came in a little while later, reassuring Blaine that this surgery was completed very frequently and there was nothing to worry about.
"Which one am I removing?" he asked suddenly, pen in hand.
"You have got to be kidding?!" Kurt exclaimed, shocked out of his pretence of reading a magazine.
"You don't know which one?" Blaine asked quietly.
"We don't have time to look at your file during the surgery so we label your body," he explained and he proceeded to label Blaine's lower torso with an arrow to direct the surgeon. Blaine went red.
They were left alone and told it wouldn't be too long now. Blaine put his head in his hands.
"Oh my god," he breathed, "I have never been so embarrassed."
"Don't worry about it," Kurt said, reassuringly rubbing Blaine's arm, "They must see loads each day."
"What a job!"
"I know, but at least they get a treat today," Kurt smirked, eyeing Blaine's lower body, remembering what lay underneath his gown. Blaine couldn't help but laugh.
"What's so funny?" Clarissa asked as they both returned. Blaine shook his head, he could not repeat this to his mother.
The procedure was explained once more to Blaine and he was soon whisked off to have his anaesthetic, his Mum giving him a final kiss. He didn't leave until he could feel Kurt's strong hand in his, see his reassuring smile that hid all the worry and Blaine was taken away.
"Right," Richard said, clapping his hands together, "I think a little lunch is needed while we wait it out, don't you?"
Lunch was the operative word but Kurt was not impressed. The stale sandwiches and the strange looking pastries were bought but hardly touched. Richard read them all he had found out about the operation, the pain afterwards and the implications for treatment. Kurt had never heard anyone talk so much.
Kurt excused himself a little while later to ring Burt and Carole who had also booked the day off in case they were needed. It was reassuring to Kurt to have their voices close by. He explained all that he knew to Carole who had been out of the loop and drank coffee after coffee. Its smell wafted up his nose, reminding him of Blaine and he tried not to imagine what was happening to him at that moment.
Hours passed and the time came when Blaine would be out of surgery so he returned to the room to wait with Blaine's parents.
"How are you Kurt?" Clarissa said as Richard continued to read the paper. "How are you taking all of this?"
"Oh I'm ok," he said, thinking it was a silly question; it was Blaine who was suffering through all of this, not him. Clarissa smiled at his deflection.
"You know it's sometimes just as hard for the person closest to a cancer patient. They have to see a loved one suffer with no way of really being useful apart from going through it with them." Kurt listened attentively, taking in what she said. "If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask. We're here for you too. I mean Blaine might need our help and support the most but don't let yourself get too overwhelmed."
"I know, thank you," Kurt said politely, "But I don't think we need to worry just yet. I mean Blaine hasn't had a full diagnosis yet, he's having the lump removed so it might not have spread and that would be the end of it all."
Clarissa looked at him carefully and seemed to decide not to say anything more. Blaine came in soon afterwards, groggy and barely awake, clearly not too aware of his surroundings.
"Blaine honey, we're here," Clarissa said, "Do you know where you are?"
Blaine nodded. It took a few moments for the room to come back into focus for Blaine but he was soon propped up and asking for his phone.
"I just need to send an email or two," he said typing furiously on his phone, his eyes squinting at the screen.
"Blaine, don't be silly," Richard said.
"No I just want to check what I need to be reading so I don't miss out on my graduation this year. I don't want to miss out on anything crucial."
Kurt watched as Blaine sent email after email to all his teachers, who had surely been told he was off indefinitely. He wouldn't be stopped but finally Blaine had finished sending his emails and Kurt wondered briefly if the teachers would be able to understand a groggy Blaine's incoherent email ramblings. Blaine placed the phone beside him on the bed and Kurt took it slowly and passed it to Richard.
"How do you feel?" Clarissa asked.
"Ok," Blaine said slowly as if he was thinking the answer through very carefully. Kurt started regaling Blaine with details about his afternoon spent eating poor sandwiches and his conversations with Carole and Burt. He spoke quickly not bearing the silence around them in the private room. Clarissa and Richard let Kurt talk, his defence mechanism for awkward tension was to talk, that much was obvious and although Blaine didn't appear to be taking much in, the incessant rambling of Kurt was reassuring.
Blaine was given toast and tea, magazines were switched and swapped and the television put on until Blaine was finally assessed and told he could go home.
"What now Kurt?" Blaine whispered as the day ended and the light in the room faded with the day.
"Now we wait to hear more news," Kurt said, "With any luck that's all of it and everything can return to normal."
"That'll be good," Blaine said as he cuddled closer to Kurt and allowed his eyes to close.