Kurt was wearing light blue and tapping his nose the required number of times at exactly quarter past the hour as he prepared to descend the stairs to eat dinner with Blaine. Clarissa had lovingly made Blaine’s favourite meal for the evening before the oncology appointment, with no mention of what fate awaited her son. Blaine was becoming a healthier version of himself, no longer in pain with sickness or having to take strong anti-sickness medication and his face had regained some of its normal colour. His weight was starting to return to normal and his eyes shone with conversation again rather than dulling with pain or medication. He was sleeping regularly and although short journeys tired him, he was able to go out more often, even seeing friends. He had quite a collection of hats now, which almost rivalled his bowtie collection. Clarissa and Richard would glance at Blaine at the dinner table every so often and notice how improved he was, already taking it as a sign that it had worked and it was only to be good news the next day.
Kurt still separated and organised his and Blaine’s outfit for the following day as well as preparing for his morning routine. Nothing was out of place and everything was sorted, leaving only his jittery hands to reveal his worry. Blaine noticed but said nothing, the confident statements said earlier in the week were still his lifeline and he clung on for dear life though doubts longed to creep in when he saw how nervous Kurt was.
The following morning went exactly as Kurt expected and everything was achieved as hoped but it only allowed Kurt time to think and ponder all possibilities as if he was in an adventure story that allowed the reader to choose which way to go. All outcomes were visible in Kurt’s mind, all possibilities considered and he couldn’t tell which was more likely.
As they sat in the waiting room with Richard and Clarissa, Kurt nervously taking turns to either fiddle with the fray on his wool jumper or to pace the room. He would prattle on about anything, the conversation mainly one-sided and he would glance at Blaine every so often, almost expecting a response but finding only silence. Kurt would check if he was ok, Blaine would nod and Kurt would carry on, not needing any more. Blaine looked like he was going to be sick and Clarissa would occasionally rub his back, the only sign that they were suffering too. Richard would try to listen carefully to Kurt, completely understanding his need to talk and allowing him to take over.
There was a lull in conversation and Kurt glanced again at the clock on the wall.
“What’s taking them so long?” he said, “It’s been 45 minutes. They must know we’re waiting to hear the biggest news of the year for us.”
“Dr Clarke’s got many patients to see I’m sure,” Blaine said quietly. Always unassuming, only expecting the best in people, Kurt was annoyed that even now Blaine was being polite.
“Blaine this is your health we’re talking about,” Kurt said a little louder, “You should be annoyed about this.”
“Kurt…” Blaine said in a warning voice but Kurt carried on.
“No Blaine,” Kurt said, “I’m sick of waiting. This is beyond outrageous.”
Kurt glanced around to find the reception desk in order to complain but just as he had started to move in that direction the announcer asked Blaine to go to Dr Clarke’s office at the end of the corridor.
Clarissa and Richard exchanged worried glances and clutching hands they walked Blaine to the office. Kurt, now ignoring his earlier annoyance, took Blaine’s hand in his and didn’t drop it until they left the hospital much later.
“Nice to see you again, Blaine,” Dr Clarke said, shaking his other hand as they all entered and took seats. “How have you been?”
“Good thank you,” Blaine said. He didn’t want to give too much away but he was feeling so much better than during chemotherapy, he almost suspected it had all worked. Determined not to get his hopes up, he smiled and waited patiently, wanting the pleasantries to be finished. Dr Clarke finally looked at Blaine’s wide, expectant eyes and he nodded, a smile growing on his face.
“You’re clear,” he said simply and everyone in the room was stunned.
“Clear?” Clarissa asked as if shocked.
“The scan was assessed by the best in the state actually and your markers in your blood have returned to normal so you can celebrate.” He looked genuinely pleased for Blaine and Kurt wondered very briefly if he had to give any disappointing news today before tears instantly filled his eyes in relief and happiness.
“That’s it?” Richard said as if expecting a catch.
“That’s it,” Dr Clarke said laughing slightly, “It worked. We were quite aggressive with your treatment for this very reason. You can now recover from chemo and we’ll see you in six months.”
Clarissa was already crying softly, tears of pure happiness falling down her face as they passed her wide smile. She clutched Blaine’s free hand quickly to check he was ok too.
Kurt had started crying as soon as Dr Clarke confirmed that Blaine was in remission but Blaine just looked stunned. He accepted hugs from his mom and Kurt separately but he looked so shocked that nothing was really registering on his face. They were soon ushered out of the office and Kurt was so happy that he only remembered the sad cases in the hospital as he sat in the car. They had walked through the waiting room with almost a bounce, a wide grin on Kurt’s face and happy tears down his cheeks. Kurt barely saw them, just vague blurs amidst his tears.
On the journey home he ecstatically rang Burt and Carole and all their friends as Richard drove them home. Blaine was silent during the journey though his hand was again clutched tightly in Kurt’s as the car sped along. He still looked stunned and it was only as Kurt had finished all his calls that he could look at Blaine properly and ask if he was ok.
Blaine nodded, his wide eyes looking a little lost and confused.
“It’s just a lot to take in,” he whispered, “I thought I’d at least have to have the lymph node removed. It just seems too easy.”
“Easy?” Kurt almost shouted incredulously. “Blaine, you had nine weeks of gruelling chemo after surgery. I wouldn’t say that’s too easy.”
“I know, I just expected it to be different news,” Blaine said quietly. Neither said what could have been, neither mentioned the devastation that the alternative result would have brought. Kurt thought back to those people waiting in the room, one guy so poorly that he could barely walk without help. His eyes filled again at how lucky he was and he instantly hugged Blaine’s chest, resting his head just underneath his shoulder as they sat back in the car. Blaine hugged him close and said nothing but he briefly caught his dad’s eye in the rear view mirror and exchanged a watery smile. He was on his way home and he was safe, at least for the time being he assumed.

“I think this calls for a celebration,” Clarissa said excitedly as soon as she entered their house. “Let’s go out for dinner, just us and we can invite Burt and Carole.”
“Sounds lovely mom,” Blaine said, trying a smile though Kurt realised it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Do you mind if I have a quick nap? I really am shattered and I didn’t sleep well yesterday.”
“Of course sweetheart, can I get you anything?” Clarissa asked, her voice laced with concern, slightly dampening her joy. Blaine shook his head and kissed Kurt’s cheek instead of saying goodbye. Kurt watched him walk slowly to his bedroom, up the stairs, a little stunned with his sombre response.
He exchanged worried glances with Clarissa who walked calmly to the kitchen, indicating Kurt do the same. Richard, if he noticed Blaine’s unusual response, said nothing and put the television on in the living room.
“I don’t understand why he’s not happier,” Kurt said taking a seat by the kitchen counter and placing his head in his hands as Clarissa made tea. She turned and she couldn’t hide her worry either.
“I think it just must be a lot to take in,” she said quietly, “He must have really thought it would be bad news.” She looked defeated, like the last few months were finally catching up with her, weighing her down. She sat opposite Kurt, placing two mugs of tea in front of them. “I don’t really know what to say to him.”
“Me neither. I don’t really know how he feels, I can’t be anything but happy and it worries me that he isn’t. I don’t get it,” Kurt said.
“We just need to be there for him,” she said calmly, taking what comfort she could from the warm tea in her hands.
“I didn’t think it would be that easy either,” Kurt said after a while, thinking it through properly. “I never thought he would die, but I did think he would need more surgery. The tumours in his lungs were so numerous I thought he would need more for sure. But they’re all gone, and everything’s clear.” He looked stunned and shook his head trying to comprehend it all. No wonder Blaine didn’t know how to process it either, and the image of him lying on his bed, thinking everything through on his own, made Kurt feel instantly guilty.
“I should go to him,” he said, standing suddenly and Clarissa looked to him.
“Take care of him Kurt,” she said, “Just like you always do.”
Kurt breathed out. The knowledge that this was now over, that he wouldn’t have to look after Blaine that way hopefully for a very long time and see him in so much pain, made tears prickle at his eyes. His Blaine was going to be ok and they could start again, live their NYADA dreams together and be alive. No more waiting, no more illness – they were free to live again. Kurt nodded.
“I always want to take care of him,” he said sweetly, his watery smile bringing tears to Clarissa’s own eyes. She mouthed ‘thank you’ and he was gone.

Kurt knocked on the door tentatively, not sure if Blaine would really be asleep. Blaine was curled slightly, lying sideways on his bed, clutching a pillow and he didn’t look up when he heard the knock, though Kurt could hear the muffled sob. He ran instantly to him.
“Blaine…”
Blaine quickly turned in the bed and fell into Kurt’s warm arms where he clutched him tightly. Kurt stroked his back as Blaine sobbed into his chest. They rocked together for a while until Blaine’s sobs subsided slightly. Still holding him close, Kurt inched back slightly so he could see Blaine’s tear streaked face.
“I love you,” Kurt whispered, his breath tickling Blaine’s face, “I’m so glad you’re ok, so glad you’re here and alive and well.” He started to ramble, letting his words topple out of his mouth and Blaine felt them wash over him. He smiled as Kurt wished the last few months hadn’t happened and he said how special and precious Blaine was. Kurt stroked his face, starting to explain his beauty and Blaine accepted it all and closed his eyes.
“So beautiful, so beautiful,” Kurt whispered against his lips and Blaine reached out and took them, kissing Kurt’s bottom lip, letting his tears wet his lips as they moved slowly. Kurt kissed along his jaw as he murmured words that meant everything to Blaine. He could feel the vibrations along his chin and down his neck as Kurt continued to kiss and lick and he took a moment to suck lightly under his ear.
“So precious to me,” Kurt whispered along the soft skin near his ear, “You’re here and you’re mine and you’re safe.”
Blaine let it all wash over him, his eyes still closed, his face upturned with a smile.
“I thought it was going to be bad news, I never thought it might be over,” Blaine said quietly, his voice hitching with emotion at the end, the tears still trickling down his face.
“It’s over now, all over, you’re safe now I promise,” Kurt whispered near his ear but Blaine suddenly parted from him, his face almost like a map with the streaks of tears. His eyes were still swimming but his expression was frozen slightly.
“But what if it’s not over?” Blaine said slowly, “I’ll have a check-up every six months and it might come back. There is always a chance it might come back. I won’t ever be free of it.”
Kurt lay down, defeated but not having the words to say. He let his head fall to the pillow and Blaine joined him, staring at him as he lay next to him on the bed, his hair now ruffled on one side. Blaine waited and waited.
“You can’t live like that Blaine,” Kurt said, his heart breaking that he had to say these words. He knew nothing he could say would make it easier; Blaine would always have to live with this, always have to worry that cancer and death might be round the corner.
“But I think what you have to learn from all of this,” Kurt said coming closer, clutching Blaine’s hand in his and letting his words come out near Blaine’s face. “What we can both learn is that life is precious and that the best you can do, the best you can hope for, is that we get to spend the time we have with the people we love. I’m very lucky. I’ve been given a chance to have you for longer, your time isn’t up yet and we can live our dreams like there’s no tomorrow. We found each other early Blaine and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Blaine looked like he was about to say something more as soon as the last words left Kurt’s lips but Kurt beat him to it and placed a kiss there.
“I love you,” Kurt whispered and he closed his eyes and let his lips bring Blaine to life, inch by inch by inch, until Blaine was a warm puddle of goo and slipped to sleep a little later.

Blaine was well on the way to recovery when he auditioned for NYADA and was easily accepted with his rendition of ‘Piano Man’ that Kurt had said would be perfect in his rehearsal. Although he was healthy, NYADA and Blaine’s parents thought it wise for Blaine to start in January to allow a complete recovery. Kurt started again in September and prepared his room so Blaine could move in over the Christmas break.
Blaine opened the sliding door to a very startled Kurt who sat at the table making Christmas decorations.
“Blaine!” he exclaimed, making an effort to stand. “I thought you weren’t coming here until next weekend with your parents?”
“I couldn’t let you have Christmas all by yourself,” Blaine said soon sweeping Kurt into his arms.
“I’m so happy you’re here,” Kurt breathed, his heart so light and happy he thought it might burst. Blaine smiled as his chin rested on Kurt’s shoulder. As he opened his eyes he saw what was on the table.
“Are you making decorations?” Blaine asked as soon as they parted.
“Yeah,” Kurt said, his shoulders almost reaching his ears. “I was a little bored.”
“Let’s go ice skating again and get hot chocolate,” Blaine said excitedly. “We have to do all the traditions.”
“Yes we do,” Kurt said smiling widely too until he remembered what they had been discussing this time last year.
“Don’t think of it,” Blaine said, his eyes clouding over slightly with the memory. “I’ve had another clear scan since then and I’m healthy. Let’s have the perfect Christmas we were meant to have last year.”
Kurt smiled and nodded. He gathered his coat and scarf in his arms and left the apartment behind Blaine, not looking back and clutching Blaine’s warm gloved hand. The future looked glittery and bright though there was a chill in the air, which only made them come closer.

The ice skating rink was packed but they managed to complete their Christmas duet without any trouble, dancing and swirling on the ice until their faces were rosy and their toes like ice. They drank hot chocolate while they swapped information about their families and the Christmases they would be spending together. Kurt already knew what he would show Clarissa when they arrived in a few days and the sights they would share. Clarissa and Richard were like second parents to Kurt now, an unshakeable bond created by love. Blaine clutched Kurt’s hand as often as he could as they wandered around New York, taking in the Christmas decorations and listening to music pouring out of coffee shops and restaurants. It was late as they got back to the apartment, the streetlights casting a glow inside but leaving the Christmas tree bare.
“We need to decorate the tree,” Kurt said excitedly. He picked up the box his dad had let him keep this year.
He knelt down at the foot of the tree.
“I have some that I made too,” Blaine said rushing off to find his luggage and putting on his iPod with selected Christmas music.
“Oh I love this song,” Kurt shouted as soon as he heard it, the music coming from the speakers before Blaine came back to the tree. Kurt started decorating the tree with his mom’s perfume bottle just as Blaine started to sing.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on your troubles will be out of sight.

Kurt instantly turned around to see Blaine, who had secretly donned a Christmas bowtie and was coming forward as the music played. He twirled, carrying a small bag of seemingly red decorations, and landed next to Kurt who joined in with the song.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the Yuletide gay
From now on our troubles will be miles away.

All their troubles were now far away and Blaine could do what he had always planned to do. This was their year.

Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

Blaine started to place his red heart decorations on the tree, arranged so they were near to each other and because Kurt was singing along with the song and staring at Blaine, he didn’t notice they had white words written on each one.

Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bow,
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

They finished singing just as Blaine placed the final decoration and opened his palm wide, inviting Kurt to finally read what was written so beautifully amongst the decorations.

Kurt’s eyes roved over the tree, finally taking it all in and his surprise was evident as he stared back at Blaine, his mouth wide.

“Blaine?” he gasped.
“Kurt,” Blaine said confidently, “I’m already kneeling so this should be easy.” He laughed and Kurt realized what was supposed to happen just as Blaine started speaking again.
“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Blaine chuckled, “Which I know is quite a challenge with you.” Kurt smiled too and let his hand be taken. “You once proposed to me in much sadder circumstances and I wanted you to know, it was never no, it has always been yes, ever since I saw you on that staircase at Dalton. My soul knew something that my mind and body didn’t know yet. It knew that our hands were meant to hold each other fearlessly and forever. We can already say those wedding vows knowing that we mean it, that we’re here together forever. There’s nothing we can’t go through, nothing that would tear us apart. I know you, I love you and if I get one wish in this lifetime than I want to spend everyday with the man that I love. All I want to do, all I’ve ever wanted to do, is spend my life loving you. So Kurt Hummel: my amazing friend, my one true love, will you marry me?”
Kurt’s eyes were full of happy tears and such a happy smile as he read the decorations again, took in Blaine’s expectant face and Kurt couldn’t help it. He surged forward and kissed him.
“Yes!” Kurt said breathlessly as he allowed their lips to part finally. “A thousand times yes.”
They kissed again and Kurt let a tear escape.
“Tears?” Blaine asked, a little concerned though his own eyes were watery.
“Happy tears,” Kurt whispered, shaking his head at Blaine’s concern. “I never thought we’d have this,” he said, “I want everything with you and now we have our whole future. One day apart is too much, this term has been amazingly hard without you but you’re here now and you can’t ever leave.”
“I promise,” Blaine said laughing, “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
“Good,” Kurt said, smiling as if he had finally got the jackpot. “I don’t intend to ever let you go.”