"Blaine?"

Kurt had been to the shops to buy the most appetising food in preparation for good healthy meals that week and although Blaine's parents were out, Blaine had assured him that he would be fine on his own. Kurt couldn't find him as he entered with the key he had been given by Richard. He spoke quietly until panic set in and he couldn't find Blaine in the usual places. He had left him watching television but now, starting to shout Blaine's name, Kurt listened out for a reply. He soon got a mumbled response that Kurt assumed was his name.

"Blaine?" Kurt went to where the noise seemed to be coming from: the space behind the sofa. "Blaine!"

"I'm here," Blaine muttered, closing his eyes in pain. He was lying on his back but clutching at his lower stomach. Kurt instantly fell to his knees by his side.

"What happened? Are you ok? Why are you on the floor?" The panic was evident in his voice, so fast and loud that Blaine grimaced.

"I'm ok," he whispered through gritted teeth, telling Kurt he was anything but ok.

"Let's get you to bed," Kurt said, trying to lift Blaine but failing, "Did you fall?"

Blaine shook his head.

"It was more comfortable down here." He grimaced again as Kurt tried to lift him. Blaine took a deep breath before putting all his energy into his thighs to support his own weight just a little. Kurt got him to the sofa then lifted him properly to attempt the walk upstairs. His eyes clamped shut, his expression one only of pain, Blaine managed to get up the stairs and was lead to his bed. Kurt gingerly placed him by the pillow where he brought the blankets around Blaine's body as he started to shiver.

"Are you ok?" Kurt asked, his voice a tremble of panic. He so desperately wanted it to be ok.

Blaine nodded grimly as he brought the covers around himself more closely. It didn't matter that he wasn't changed for bed, Blaine seemed to be constantly in loungewear. He shivered, only the top of his face now visible above the covers.

"What happened?" Kurt asked.

"My stomach," Blaine said like it was an effort just to speak simple phrases. "It was easier on the floor. So painful."

"Shall I get you a hot water bottle?"

Blaine nodded and Kurt rushed to get what he could to alleviate the pain. As the kettle boiled he ran back to Blaine to ask if he'd eaten any food since breakfast and Blaine shook his head. Blaine's face seemed to go a shade paler at the thought of food.

Although he knew he would probably feel sick, Kurt heated up some chicken soup he had made last night and prepared a tray with some bread and water. He brought it all back to the bed. Coaxing Blaine to sit up he started to feed him some of the soup though he couldn't manage the bread. He took painkillers and accepted the hot water bottle eagerly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better, thanks," Blaine said still not opening his eyes. He seemed to be using all his concentration to keep from screaming in pain and Kurt decided to lay down next to him, desperate not to encroach on his space. He stroked Blaine's forehead and ran his fingers in his curls until Blaine's breathing became slower and Kurt suspected he might be asleep.

After what seemed to be hours, Kurt could hear the door open and a bustle downstairs indicated either Richard or Clarissa were home. Kurt padded quietly down the stairs.

"Is Blaine asleep?" Richard asked as soon as he looked up to find Kurt descending. Kurt nodded.

"How is he?" Richard asked, following Kurt into the living room.

"Not good," Kurt said, looking world-weary and placing his face in his hands, sitting on the sofa. "I went out for food shopping, left him watching a film, apparently ok and came home to find him sprawled on the floor behind the sofa."

"What is it? Is he ok now?"

Kurt nodded. "It was his stomach," he said, "His anti-sickness is too strong. He was clutching it in pain and the only explanation for him lying on the floor was that it was most comfortable there."

"We'll mention it to the doctor next week," Richard said, "Thank you for being there."

Kurt looked up in surprise. "I did nothing," he said weakly, clearly annoyed with himself. "I am beyond useless."

"What are you talking about?" Richard said with surprise, "Have you any idea how much you've helped Blaine in the last few weeks? You've done so much Kurt, I keep telling you to let us help more but I know how much he means to you. I see how fiercely protective of him you are."

"I can't do anymore," Kurt said quietly, his gaze still lowered.

"Let us help," Richard said.

"No," Kurt said, looking up, his eyes wide and clearly blue, "I mean I want to do more and I feel so helpless. I look at him in pain and I so desperately want to take it away from him. I want to make him better, say it will be ok and I can't."

"We all want that," Richard said sadly, taking a leather seat nearby. "It's dreadful to watch your son suffer an older man's disease." He sounded so sad, his voice quiet that Kurt looked up to find a much older man than he had first met last year. He took in the fresh lines around his eyes and the newer grey hair by his temples and the sadness that permeated his body that now sank with the weight of the world. Kurt hadn't really thought about anyone else during chemo; he saw only Blaine and his suffering and he would do anything in his power to remove it all.

"I just can't wait for it to be all over," Richard said, closing his eyes, almost seeming to picture that in his head and dream of a future where cancer no longer affected his family: the one thing he was supposed to protect.

"I worry it will never be over," Kurt said. Richard looked up in pain and shook his head.

"It will be over," he said simply and emphatically. "It has to be."

---

Blaine woke feeling much better though there was a constant dull ache in his stomach. When he managed food it seemed to cause sudden and sharp pain to surge, causing him to clutch his stomach in pain. Nothing would alleviate it and no amount of hot water bottles or painkillers seemed to help. Kurt would just watch until the pain subsided slightly, stroking Blaine's face until he could bear the smaller waves of pain a little more.

Dr Clarke assured both Blaine and Kurt that this was to be expected and he could only congratulate Kurt for what he was already doing to ease the pain. He offered a light at the end of the tunnel, professing only that the treatment was soon to be over. He couldn't say that it was the definite ending that Blaine hoped for but it was a hope nonetheless.

As the treatment ended, Blaine was able to have more visitors and Kurt was happy they passed his strict hygiene test before entering. Finn had a little cough as he came through the door and he was sent home, much to his annoyance.

"But I'm fine, it's just a little cough," Finn said, begging with his eyes.

"No Finn," Kurt said very much annoyed, "Blaine can't be exposed to any germs or potential illness. You can see him soon."

Finn turned to Rachel in the hopes that she might plead his case but she said nothing, only looking sad that Kurt was so worried.

"Fine," Finn said, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "Tell Blaine I stopped by."

"I will," Kurt said a little more kindly now he was getting his way. "I'm sorry Finn. I just want him to be ok."

Finn nodded and left, his expression a little softer as he took in Kurt's tired face and the worn down stance of his body.

"How has he been?" Rachel said as Kurt walked her dutifully to Blaine's bedside.

"Better now all of the treatments are over," Kurt said.

"That's good," she said happily, "Now he can let his body properly recover."

Kurt only nodded and opened Blaine's door after a polite knock. He didn't say what was on his mind, didn't allow himself to voice his thoughts of more surgery or more treatment. He couldn't bear anymore; he didn't think he had any more fight left in him.

"Blaine," Kurt said quietly in case he was asleep, "Rachel's here to see you."

Blaine sat up a little more in the bed and looked happy to see Rachel.

"How are you Blaine?" Rachel asked, her face so optimistic and kind, Kurt couldn't look at her.

"I'm getting there," he said, "I think I'll be ok."

Rachel nodded. "I brought you some more books and movies as well as music," she said, "I thought you might be getting a little bored."

"I've just been sleeping," he said, "But thanks."

"Kurt said you've been having some trouble with your stomach?" Rachel said quietly as if mentioning it might bring about an attack.

"Yeah it's easing up now and I'm managing to eat a little more," he said, "Don't worry, I'll be ok now it's all finished."

Kurt said nothing. He couldn't say he hoped the same, yet dreaded the possibility that the opposite might be true. He really wasn't sure he had any positive words left.

Rachel shared all the NYADA gossip and how Miss July's treatment of her had not improved. Kurt didn't miss it at all and found himself a little surprised that he had hardly thought of NYADA or New York during his time with Blaine. It had been such a dream to finally arrive there and start the course but now it seemed miles away and less important. Blaine's health was everything.

"I can't wait to start next year," Blaine said happily, not thinking of the healing he would have to do before that became possible. The thought alone, the image of arriving in front of Times Square was enough to keep him going.

After a while Blaine started to droop with tiredness and Rachel said she would see him tomorrow before she left again for New York. Kurt walked her out.

"Is he really going to be ok?" she asked quietly by the door to the house and she finally looked Kurt directly in the eye. He considered spilling platitudes and hope for the future but he closed his mouth against it all.

"I don't know," he simply said, which at least was completely true. Rachel took what he had said and hugged him close to her.

"Please ring me if you need a chat Kurt," she said, the tears evident in her voice, "I know you need someone too and I hate to see you like this."

His eyes prickled with tears but he refused to let them fall. He swallowed but clung tighter in the hope that he would receive some kind of warmth from her affection.

"I love you Kurt," she said whispering in his ear, "Look after yourself and Blaine."

She parted from him, her face wet with tears and left with a last stroke along his upper arm. He stood frozen by the door until he felt a little more composed and he went back upstairs to check on Blaine.

---

Blaine did get better. In the weeks that followed his final treatment his body was finally given time to recover and he regained a little of his appetite. He was still weak and easily tired but he started to venture outside for little walks, always accompanied by Kurt. He felt his strength return and now the oncology appointment loomed – at once a beacon of hope and a possibility of failure.

He had given blood to be tested and taken a full chest scan; he now had to wait for the results. There was still the possibility that the tumour in his abdominal lymph node was too big for chemo and would need to be removed, which could set him back months. The thought that the chemo might not have removed the tumours in his lungs was too much to think about. There was nothing much they could do for those, apart from more chemo and that thought alone was enough to cause bile to rise in Kurt's throat.

Blaine and Kurt were watching The Notebook, Blaine resting on Kurt's chest as Kurt sat up against the headboard and stroked his hair. The final scene always caused tears to fall down their faces and Kurt was reminded yet again that he would do anything for the boy in his arms. They let the credits roll before Blaine whispered against Kurt's chest, allowing his words to break the silence.

"I hope we get that," he said, "I couldn't bear the thought of dying alone or without each other."

Kurt said nothing but felt his eyes prickle again at the thought that Blaine might die before him, before he had even had a chance to live his life.

"Kurt, do you think I'll be ok?" Blaine asked after a while. He didn't look at Kurt, knowing that if Kurt's words weren't true that he would be able to see it in his eyes.

"You'll be fine," Kurt said after he had got his voice back. He told himself daily that Blaine would be fine.

"Do you really mean that?" Blaine asked, scared to look Kurt in the face.

Kurt wasn't sure, couldn't possibly know for certain but saying it out loud was not possible. The only hope he had left was in being able to say that he was sure Blaine would be ok. He had to be.

Kurt sat them up and he looked Blaine directly in the eye.

"The doctor will tell you that it worked Blaine," he said with a confidence he didn't feel but as he looked into Blaine's warm hazel eyes and watched them relax and soften, he knew he had said the right thing. "He will say that no more treatment is needed and the scan will be clear. I'm sure."

Blaine felt sure he would be able to detect the lie if Kurt was being dishonest or overconfident in his estimation. He smiled slowly and rested his cheek against Kurt's chest once again. He clutched Kurt closer and tighter, taking the comfort he always received from Kurt's warm embrace.

As Kurt turned off the film, and the light, he knew sleep was far away from them both, though Blaine still clung to him and hummed in pleasure as he pulled his fingers lightly through Blaine's curls. He started to sing softly.

I remember tears streaming down your face

When I said, "I'll never let you go"

When all those shadows almost killed your light

I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"

But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You'll be alright

No one can hurt you now

Come morning light

You and I'll be safe and sound

Kurt could feel Blaine smile against his chest and tears threatened at Kurt's eyes. He clutched him tightly just as he imagined clutching harder at the hope he so desperately needed. Blaine's breath started to even out.

Don't you dare look out your window, darling,

Everything's on fire

The war outside our door keeps raging on

Hold on to this lullaby

Even when music's gone

Gone

Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You'll be alright

No one can hurt you now

Come morning light

You and I'll be safe and sound

Blaine was finally still in Kurt's arms and his breathing soft against Kurt's chest.

Just close your eyes

You'll be alright

Come morning light,

You and I'll be safe and sound...