Chapter 4

Blaine was ecstatic about how his plans had played out. He smiled shyly as Kurt received his scarf and everyone exclaimed around him, asking who this X was. Kurt politely limited conversation and answers about X and declined to comment about the letters he had received, letting Blaine know that his secrets were safe with him. It made Blaine hope for the future and even more determined to make Kurt feel safe and loved.

It was strange how tables had turned, how Blaine now felt determined to be the care-giver when the purpose of the letters had been to help him find a friend, someone to confide in. He would carry on writing but this time, plans and surprises would be made to ensure Kurt always knew how amazing he was.

He thought briefly about letting Kurt know somehow that it was him writing the letters but Blaine decided against it. The scarf, the anonymous letter to Figgins would all lead Kurt to think he was a strange kid who was practically a stalker. No, Blaine decided, he would still write from afar and perhaps opportunities would arise to emerge as the letter-writer in the future.

Kurt of course knew Blaine was the writer of those sweet letters and now the giver of a fabulous scarf but the idea of keeping this friendship a secret appealed greatly to Kurt. It was quite easy to connect Blaine, the shy new kid who was hardly known by the others, with the writer of the letters, wishing to be known and understood. Kurt felt sudden warmth towards Blaine who had made him feel so safe and who had protected him from Karofsky. He could be Blaine's safe haven too.

Blaine sneaked into the choir room early the next morning before classes started to find a letter slipped under the top of the piano and he eagerly read:

Dear X,

Thank you so much for the scarf and so much more. As you were the only one I told about the Karofsky incident I have to assume you wrote the anonymous letter to Figgins and although I was initially embarrassed that everyone would find out and Karofsky confronted, I am glad you told for me. I now feel safe in the corridors and you did that – you helped me.

I think I will owe you a favour for the rest of my life and would love to be able to repay or help you in some way. I hope you continue writing letters to me and telling me your secrets – if I can help in any way, please let me know.

You're pretty special X and I hope one day you'll be able to tell me who you are. I hope you know how great you are, how much courage you have and how people want to know more about you.

Thanks for everything,

Kurt x

Blaine sighed in happiness at the words, determined that he would write a letter before lunch and almost skipped to class.

Dear Kurt,

I'm really glad you liked the scarf. I couldn't believe what happened to you, what Karofsky did and I couldn't stand the idea that he would get away with it. I won't let those horrible things happen to you ever again.

I think you've helped me more than you know already Kurt. I feel lighter than air at the moment, not a care in the world and all because I could help you with your worries. If ever you need a friend, I will be there.

Love X

Days went by; plans that Blaine had decided were fun and romantic ideas, turned to dust and became silly daydreams. Karofsky was still absent and peace apparently reigned at McKinley with the main culprit of the bullying away. Azimio was subdued although if looks could kill Kurt would be dead but Blaine was there, always present but never really making his presence known. Glee club members engaged Blaine in small talk and he started to feel more at ease within the group but he would watch Kurt every so often and would be amazed at his confidence. He really wanted to be that comfortable in his own skin. He had always thought he was out and proud, confident enough not to worry what people thought, but here at McKinley he was reserved, never wanting anyone to get that close to him. He wanted to share with others but found himself hanging back, eager to listen to others and hear about their secrets. As days wore on, he became more conscious of revealing his sexuality and it became more of a concern only because he hadn't declared it, had made it seem an issue.

Next day at Glee club Santana had made the usual wise crack about Brittany's track record – the list of conquests and eyeing Blaine, she winked and said that he would be next and if he was very lucky, he'd get two for the price of one.

Blaine went the colour of a tomato and stuttered something about being busy with revision and Kurt took pity on him.

"I think some people have more class Santana."

"You saying I ain't classy Ladyface? I may come from Lima Heights but I got all the class that this guy needs," cocking her thumb Blaine's way and winking lasciviously.

Luckily Mr Schue wanted to get on with this week's lesson and talking stopped but a bit later when duet partners were arranged Santana quickly commandeered Blaine to herself and explained that they would be sure to win if they were together. Although Kurt looked carefully at Blaine in the hopes they could pair up, Blaine looked helpless against Santana and it was decided.

Blaine wished in that moment he could write a letter to Kurt, tell him what he really wanted but he knew that would give the game away. He planned with Santana and they quickly decided on a song to sing the following day. Santana was quick to suggest they practice at her house after school so Blaine followed in his car, like a dutiful puppy.

As he was leaving school, Kurt ran up to him in the corridor and touched his elbow.

"Are you ok Blaine?" he asked gently. Blaine gaped at Kurt, who had no idea that his words would have such an effect on Blaine. It had never occurred to Blaine that Kurt might see through Blaine's acquiescence with Santana or that he might care.

"Oh, yeah I'm ok, why do you ask?" Blaine started looking at his outfit and wiped his face, just in case he looked strange.

"I just don't want you to think that you have to sing with Santana if you don't want to. I know she can be a bit forceful sometimes and I just, well never mind." He turned the other way to walk towards his car as Blaine stopped him.

"No I'm really glad you said that, I didn't want to sing with her but I kinda felt forced to, I wanted to sing with you," Blaine whispered.

Kurt looked shyly his way at the admission and smiled.

"Well, why don't you? I can text Santana to let her know and we can practice lunchtime tomorrow?"

"Do you think she'll mind?" Blaine asked, worried about Santana's reaction.

"Oh don't worry about her, we can handle her together." Kurt's beaming smile made Blaine think he could handle anything. As they started to part, edging closer to their own cars, Blaine couldn't help but add to the space between them.

"I really am glad Karofsky didn't get away with it Kurt." Kurt's eyes twinkled as he turned to look at Blaine and smiled.

"Thanks Blaine, I'm pretty glad too." He nearly made it to his car before he remembered.

"Blaine!" He shouted across the car park and nearly ran to Blaine's car before he left. "I forgot to say, Rachel's having some silly party with Glee club tonight and no one was going to go but apparently Puck's bringing drink and some of us have decided to make an appearance after all. You're welcome to come, I mean I would have mentioned it before if people were going to go…" his voice trailing away.

"Yeah, sounds good, I'll go. See you there?" Blaine asked timidly.

"Yeah, definitely" They exchanged numbers so Blaine could get Rachel's address later and they drove off.

xXx

Rachel was surprised to see Blaine at her door a few hours later, bringing his own set of wine coolers. She hadn't meant to forget Blaine when she invited the rest of the club; she just hadn't thought about it and felt suddenly embarrassed in his presence. She quickly recovered, pretending she had known all about his invitation and ushering him into her basement.

Blaine was the first to arrive and he suddenly felt childish. He hovered in the corner until Rachel asked for help setting up and he chose a few songs to play as other people arrived. Tina and Mike arrived next, followed by most of the group: Sam, Santana, Brittany, Puck, Finn and Artie. Mercedes and Kurt arrived soon after. Blaine's mouth nearly came off its hinges as Kurt entered, donned in the tightest black pants and red shirt with added chain detail. Blaine had the sudden urge to rip it off him and nibble at the expanse of white skin that was bound to be underneath. He gulped and decided to busy himself by the wine coolers.

"This is pathetic Rachel," Puck exclaimed, "No one's going to get sloshed on wine coolers."

"But that's all I have," Rachel said.

"What about if we break into your dads' liquor cabinet?" Puck asked and Finn raised a hopeful eyebrow.

"Well…" Rachel said as she looked around at her unsatisfied and sober friends.

The party started.

xXx

Dear Kurt,

There was quite a crowd at Rachel's party in the end and although I wanted to see you and speak to you some more, I felt like I couldn't get near you. I suppose you probably wouldn't notice me, hidden in the corner.

I can't help but notice you. I find myself watching you in awe and amazement that you can be so confident and I can be, just so, well, lacking.

I think I realised something tonight as I watched. I really didn't mean to watch and I know I sound like a weirdo (please don't think that) but I looked at you and I just knew. I knew that you were something special and I wish I could know you better. I wanted to be better so I took a chance.

As people were getting more and more wasted I noticed you weren't so I held back too. I just wanted to observe people, but I realised I was walking over to you and sat near you on the sofa, still apart from the group and nursing my drink but you smiled and suddenly Rachel was suggesting solos and duets left, right and centre and I got caught up in the middle of everything. It was easier to watch from the sidelines, no one would think to ask me.

You sang though Kurt and gosh it took my breath away and I mean this literally. I was so in awe I must have looked like a guppy fish, with my mouth ajar and eyes wide. I love Ingrid Michaelson and for you to sing a song I love to sing in my bedroom alone, stupidly wishing I could have that one day, nearly made me cry with want.

The song 'Parachute' means so much and at one point I almost thought you looked right at me, the twinkle in your eyes, the power of your performance was directed at me and I could feel powerful too, like you had me, like you were my parachute and I could possibly be yours.

I realised something tonight Kurt. I think I'm falling in love with you and it pains me to think you know nothing about me.

X