Chapter 16

Dear Blaine,

I really loved your letter and it made me wish and yearn for the days we used to write all the time – a time when you believed you were anonymous and I wrote back, pretending I didn't know you wrote those sweet letters. I really cherish each one Blaine, I sometimes read them before I go to sleep and remember.

I remember your sweet expression as you watched me tentatively from your locker or when you were nervous about joining in at a party and just watched us having fun. I'm so proud of what you have become Blaine, I know you are more of the person you were meant to be, the man behind the nerves and the shyness. I love hearing you sing because you come alive Blaine and I know you need to do something using your voice in future, when you grow up. It's who you were meant to be.

I really appreciate all the help you've been giving me as I practice for my NYADA audition and I really do know how annoying it must be to hear me worry and critique my performance when all you say is how amazing I am. I just want it to be perfect and I worry. This is my only chance to shine and I have to win.

I know I've become a bit mad in the last few weeks, my desperation showing in my actions all the time but I know 'Music of the Night' is the wrong performance, I know it's too safe. I need something more.

Thanks for being constantly patient with me, for loving me despite my flaws and for making super cookies to calm me down when I'm crazy and don't eat.

Love Kurt x

Dear Kurt,

I've loved watching you rehearse and I know I say it every time and I may be a bit biased but you are amazing each time you sing. Sorry!

I think you should go with your gut feeling. 'Music of the Night' is a great song and you can really show your theatrical talents as well as your musical ability but I think you've always pushed the boundaries, you always think out of the box and this is your moment to shine. You're the single most interesting kid in all of Ohio – never forget that.

I have been thinking – and no jokes about that being hard for me! – I wondered if you wanted to meet my parents. I have wanted to talk to them properly for ages about you and invite you over for dinner but I wasn't sure how you'd feel, whether you thought we should wait or maybe we aren't ready for that step yet? I don't know, and now I'm rambling which I didn't even think was possible in a letter but nevermind. My mum knows about you but I don't quite know how to speak to my dad about it. I want you to know that I'm really proud to call you my boyfriend, it's just my dad's a bit conservative I think and I'm not sure how he'll react to the news.

Love Blaine x

xXx

Kurt and Blaine met at glee club a little later, letters exchanged and read amidst sighs and smiles.

"I'd love to meet your parents Blaine," Kurt said as he finished the letter, "But I don't want to cause problems with your dad."

"No I don't care," Blaine said, suddenly a little loud for the choir room, "You're a part of my life now and I'm going to talk to him about it tonight. I mean he knows I'm gay, what will the issue be?"

xXx

He had so convinced himself that dinner would be fine and the discussion irrelevant that as he sat there, eating his main course his mother had lovingly prepared after his father came swooping in at the last moment, he confidently explained he now had a boyfriend without a shadow of shyness or trepidation. The shocked silence was enough to let him know that he had miscalculated.

His mother sat there passively, looking from one man to the other, not knowing what to say, not daring even to eat. His father, Richard paused his eating and looked carefully at Blaine, unsure he had heard correctly.

"Pardon?"

"I have a boyfriend dad," Blaine said, less confidently, already sensing his father's change in mood. "His name's Kurt."

"Kurt?" Blaine nodded.

Richard sighed and sat back in his chair, his food discarded and Blaine's mother biting her lip.

"Blaine, what is this nonsense?"

"I have a boyfriend dad, I've just told you. I mean you knew I was gay, right?"

"Don't get smart with me Blaine, I know what you said before and I humoured you because you were a child but I didn't think you'd kept up with this idiocy."

"It's not idiocy dad," Blaine said, sitting up straighter, prepared for the fight, suddenly indignant. "I love Kurt; we've been together for a while. I thought you'd want to know."

"Love, Blaine?" Richard scoffed, "Do you even know what love is?"

Blaine didn't know what to say. He knew he'd never witnessed it in this house, he knew they tolerated each other at best, had heard the rows when he was a child; now they just cohabited, barely acknowledged each other's existence. That certainly wasn't love.

"I think I know," Blaine said shyly, "I know I'm gay dad, there's nothing you can do to change that." Richard looked at him sharply then sighed in resignation.

"I really thought you'd get over it when Michael died." Blaine looked up in shock that his dad would mention his best friend so flippantly.

"That shouldn't have happened to Michael, he shouldn't have been made to feel that way," Blaine said, tears pooling in his eyes that his friend had known no love at home.

"No, but then the world isn't a nice place is it? Those things could happen to you, do you want that?"

Blaine stood up. "Those things did happen to me. I know what it's like to be bullied for my sexuality; I know what it feels like to be unaccepted by your own family. I know you wanted a better son than me or Cooper dad, but we're all you've got. You need to get used to it." He started to walk out of the room.

"Where are you going Blaine?" his mum asked suddenly, the first words she had uttered since dinner had started.

"I'm seeing Kurt; I'll be back by curfew."

xXx

"Blaine?" Burt answered the door, surprise showing on his face at the forlorn look on Blaine's face as he stood in the shadows, the porch light shining down on Blaine's head.

"Sorry to disturb you Burt," Blaine said timidly, "Is Kurt in? I just really needed to see him."

"Yeah, he's in," Burt said, opening the door wider and beckoning him in, "What's up?"

"Oh just parents," Blaine tried to laugh but only a hoarse bark came out, causing Burt to look concerned.

"Anything you wanna talk about kid?"

"Oh I'll be ok," Blaine said as he walked in and he kindly accepted an offer of a hot drink in a little while, after he'd seen Kurt. He knocked on Kurt's bedroom door and after hearing Kurt let him in, he found him flicking through his iPod in the dock, clearly looking for a perfect track.

"Blaine? What are you doing here?" He looked instantly worried and he walked him to his bed for a hug.

"I needed that," Blaine said, as he was hugged closer than sat opposite Kurt on his bed, sat hugging his knees close to his body.

Blaine relayed what had happened that evening at dinner with his parents and Kurt murmured in understanding or shook his head in annoyance and Blaine felt instantly better that someone understood, that someone cared.

"Maybe he's just looking out for you Blaine," Kurt said kindly after a while. "I mean he didn't go about it the right way, but maybe he fears that something bad will happen again and he wants to protect you."

"Yeah maybe," Blaine said, looking down at his knees, "I just feel like such a disappointment to him."

"Well you're not. I think he just needs some time. He'll get used to it and I can meet him later on, it doesn't matter." Blaine nodded sadly. Kurt was so special, he should be shown off proudly and he hated that he would have to wait, that his dad needed that time, when Burt had been so loving and accepting.

"Hey," Kurt said, creeping closer so he could wind his arms over Blaine's hunched shoulders, "Don't look so sad." He kissed the top of his head, his hair breaking free from the gel so that loose curls could be seen escaping near his hairline. Blaine leant closer to Kurt under the touch and Kurt stroked his cheek calmly. He looked carefully as Blaine's eyes rose to look earnestly at the blue eyes above him.

"You're so beautiful Blaine," Kurt whispered, the ghost of his voice tingling near Blaine's lips as he came closer. He kissed Blaine sweetly and Kurt could feel the flutter of Blaine's eyelashes as he closed his eyes. He unwound Blaine's arms that were tucked around his knees and lowered him straighter on the bed beneath him, stroking his cheek still and kissing his lips.

"You taste amazing," Kurt gasped as he licked along his lips, "What did you eat?"

"Chocolate mousse my mum made," Blaine whispered in the gap between their lips. Kurt continued to lick his way in as he hummed in pleasure at the new tastes and Blaine squirmed underneath him at the tender touches of his tongue. He could feel himself get harder already and he moaned as his tongue continued to twist and meet with Kurt's in a delightful way. Kurt suddenly tucked his legs in between Blaine's and Blaine could feel he wasn't the only one aroused. The sudden feel of Kurt so close, so hard, made him press harder against him in surprise and pleasure.

"Oh god," he gasped and Kurt continued to press himself into Blaine and was met with a moan as he parted slightly to look at Blaine, his pupils blown but his gaze so loving.

"Can I try something?" Kurt whispered, nervous and worried he would scare Blaine away. "I've been doing some reading," he said as he blushed. Blaine gulped and nodded, willing to take anything from this beautiful boy above him, always so loving. Kurt slowly removed Blaine's cardigan and shirt, stroked lovingly at the latte coloured skin underneath his fingers. He tentatively removed Blaine's belt and Blaine lifted his legs and ass as Kurt removed his trousers. Kurt swallowed as he took in the sight of Blaine beneath him, so hard and straight, his legs firm and strong. He stroked his inner thighs gently, causing Blaine to mewl and keen in pleasure. Kurt sank a little lower, starting to kiss along Blaine's chest, sucking a nipple between his lips and dropping kitten like kisses as he approached the waistband of his dark boxers, a circle of pre-come already showing at the tip and Kurt looked up at Blaine from his vantage point and begged with his eyes. Blaine only nodded in acquiesce and desperation, thrusting involuntarily.

"Please Kurt," he begged, "Please…"

Kurt smiled up at him and mouthed along the outside and that alone had Blaine thrusting even more powerfully, almost hitting Kurt in the face.

"Fuck Kurt…" and at that Kurt became almost desperate to come. Blaine had never sworn before and he looked so wrecked beneath him, he continued to mouth along the underside of his cock, which twitched in pleasure. He slowly removed his boxers and after a pause, he licked the strong vein along one side and Blaine nearly yelled in pleasure.

"Blaine!" Kurt warned, "My dad!" Blaine looked sheepish and as he looked down, Kurt continued to lick and suck and Blaine knew this couldn't last long, knew he was done for.

"Oh fuck Kurt – god look at you…" and he threw his head back as Kurt continued to sink lower and suck and lick along the head, taking him all in and as he started to hum, Blaine could feel himself tipping over the edge. He placed his fist in between his lips as he could feel a loud moan threaten to escape and he came hard, just managing to tug on Kurt's hair to warn him but he continued to suck and twirl his tongue around Blaine as he came down from his high.

"God Kurt that was amazing…." Blaine breathed, already feeling sleepy and all thoughts of his dad had disappeared. "I think I need to return the pleasure," Blaine smiled mischievously as he swapped places with Kurt, kissing along his jaw and underneath his ear.

"Oh I think I'm going to be embarrassingly quick," Kurt moaned as Blaine started to suck along his neck, sure to leave marks.

"Don't worry, I think I can think of ways to tease," Blaine whispered, smiling to himself as he sunk lower.

xXx

Dear Kurt,

I don't think I can tell you the things I thought as I watched your rehearsal of 'Not the Boy Next Door', I worry I can't even write them and I'm certainly blushing. You have to do that performance again but maybe just for me? I don't even know what I'm writing…

You were amazing Kurt – just as you started to remove that stuffed suit jacket and trousers to reveal those tight gold pants. I just have no words… You were fabulous and every meaning of that word was reflected in your performance. You hit every note perfectly and the way you danced, so confident, so assured. I just know you'll win a place with that performance.

It makes me think of all your performances and I love how you sing everything so well, your range is so amazing. You're such a powerful singer Kurt but I think my favourite performances of yours are where you show your emotion and really come alive. When you sang 'I've Got You' or 'I Have Nothing' for Whitney week – you really were breathtaking Kurt. You are so beautiful as you stand there, so raw and free, your eyes portraying every emotion you feel. I can't help tears pooling in my eyes when I see you standing there. I think you need to go with your raw talent Kurt, really show off how amazingly beautiful you are. I think when you sing it's like I can see you, all of you and I only get glimpses of that when you smile at me after sex or when I catch you looking over at me from your locker. Singing is the closest thing you'll ever get to show your pure beauty – let NYADA see that too.

Love Blaine xx

Kurt does decide to go with his emotional side as he waits behind the curtain in trepidation. Rachel tells him, just as he's about to go on, that it's the famous Carmen Tibideaux that awaits him - the one who stopped performances if someone so much as glanced at their watch. Kurt was sure she would eat him alive.

Kurt introduced himself shyly just as Blaine crept in to sit at the back of the auditorium and Kurt explained his choice of song. Luckily he spotted Blaine and knew if he just sang to him and forgot that Carmen Tibideaux was there, all would be well. He remembered the words that Blaine had written last week and took a deep breath.

I will watch you in the darkness
Show you love will see you through
When the bad dreams wake you crying
I'll show you all love can do
All love can do

Blaine hadn't seen Kurt rehearse this song, though he knew that Kurt had decided against his performance of 'Not the Boy Next Door'. He almost gasped at the clear beauty of Kurt's voice as he sang and he only hoped that Carmen Tibideaux would see it too.

I will watch through the night
Hold you in my arms
Give you dreams where no one will be
I will watch through the dark
Till the morning comes

For the lights will take you
Through the night to see
All love, showing us all love can be

I will guard you with my bright wings
Stay till your heart learns to see
All love can be

Blaine suddenly saw Kurt before him, just like on that first day as he watched him from his locker in the hallway of McKinley. He remembered the way Kurt had almost seemed to glow, to protect him as he helped wash slushy off his face. He knew Kurt would always keep him safe, and he knew then that he would always love Kurt. Blaine could only hear murmurings of applause and Carmen praising Kurt warmly as he saw Kurt stand on the stage ready to leave. Blaine's own eyes reflected all the love he felt and as tears pooled there, he blinked them away before Kurt came bounding to see him to await Rachel's performance.