Chapter 13

Although Blaine had written the letter in the morning, Kurt sat next to him at lunch and leant in close.

"Yes, I will," Kurt whispered amongst the hustle of the cafeteria and Blaine sighed as his breath tickled his ear and a big grin lit his face. He turned agonisingly slowly towards Kurt and swiftly kissed him on the lips, not noticing the gasps from the girls and a few stares from the guys. They parted to the sound of a low wolf whistle and looked around to find everyone staring at them, expecting a response.

"Oh yeah he's my boyfriend now," Blaine said sheepishly, going red and everyone laughed.

"We figured," Mercedes said laughing, "You're cute."

"About time," quipped Santana, "I mean lady face has been giving you lovey eyes for a while now and we wondered when you would have the courage." Blaine felt embarrassed, what had taken him so long he wondered? But as he thought about it Kurt swooped in for another kiss and a muttered 'wanky' could be clearly heard next to them.

xXx

Blaine was on cloud nine for the rest of the day, even simple tasks like walking to class became magical when twinned with thinking of seeing Kurt at the end of the day and as he was dreamily walking to English Kurt started to approach from the opposite direction. Blaine's grin got impossibly wider and as Kurt got closer Blaine brushed his arm with his fingers and kissed him swiftly on the cheek, just because he could. Kurt blushed and smiled and continued on his way to class.

Classes went agonisingly slowly now and Blaine had nothing to write about because he could no longer remember what happened in his life that didn't involve Kurt already. He was walking to his car after school a few days later so he could drive to a coffee shop to meet Kurt, when a gruff hand stopped him as he was about to get into his car.

"What… Karofsky?"

"Yeah Anderson," Dave said as he looked around the now deserted car park.

"What do you want?" Blaine said angrily.

"I hear you're dating Hummel now?" Karofsky sneered.

"Yeah, what of it?" Blaine asked.

"Just be careful, that's all," he said as he turned away from him and he started to walk away before Blaine spoke again and touched his shoulder.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Blaine said.

Karofsky turned back to face Blaine and the worry was obvious on his face. He had no idea why he was speaking to Blaine about this, why he was warning him or making it sound like a threat but he was here in the car park anyway and the need to run almost overwhelmed him. Blaine looked confusedly his way.

"Nothing," Dave whispered and he walked away, leaving Blaine more confused than ever but he decided to get on his way so he could meet up with Kurt again.

xXx

As they settled on the sofa seats with their new coffees Blaine decided to mention it to Kurt, once they had kissed again. Kurt's lips tasted of warm coffee now and Blaine smiled into the kiss, so grateful that he could do this as often as he wanted and he wouldn't have to be satisfied with just the thought of those lips ghosting along his own.

"Why did he do that?" Kurt asked after Blaine had explained.

"I don't know," Blaine said, "I couldn't work out whether he was threatening me or warning me off you or maybe he just wanted to talk?" Blaine shrugged his shoulders as Kurt sneered.

"I really doubt he just wanted to talk Blaine," he said, "I mean he's always acted like he hated me."

"Until he kissed you," Blaine reminded him.

"Well, yeah," Kurt said blushing, "But it didn't feel like a nice kiss. I've had better," he said smiling warmly.

"Maybe he's confused still," Blaine said. "Do you remember when you first thought that you could be gay?"

"Yeah I guess," Kurt said, thinking back, "I think I've always known. I've always felt like a strange creature, going against the norm and when boys my age wanted to play football and talk about girls I wasn't interested. I liked girls to talk to, to discuss Vogue and dresses worn at the Oscars but the thought of kissing one of them never appealed. Boys on the other hand were different. Gosh I remember one guy I saw in the locker room when I was about thirteen, water cascading down his chest after a shower and I almost thought I was having a heart attack, he was so gorgeous." He blushed a darker shade at the memory and Blaine only laughed.

"Yeah, it was like that for me I guess, I've always loved girls to talk to and I know they're beautiful but men, well they're different. But maybe Karofsky's having that realisation now? It was pretty confusing for me when I was thirteen, it must be worse when you're eighteen."

Kurt thought about it for a while and nodded slowly in understanding. Maybe he should make more of an effort with Karofsky, reach out to him?

"Yeah I never really thought about it. It must be hard. Ok, I'll speak to him if I get the opportunity but he makes it hard. I mean he may have stopped throwing me against the lockers but the slushies with Azimio still remain. I can't help but treat him as an imbecile if he acts like one."

"I know," Blaine said smiling. They changed the topic; discussed music they liked and books that Blaine had been reading as they continued to drink their coffees. Kurt looked intensely at Blaine as he spoke, loving the enthusiasm that Blaine displayed for music, his face lit up and his eyes wide. Kurt could feel his chest swoop just slightly as he realised these smiles were reserved just for him.

xXx

Their weeks continued, Blaine and Kurt sneaking glances and kisses when they could, coming to glee together and sharing lunch. Blaine would sometimes catch Karofsky looking their way in the cafeteria but his expression didn't look menacing, more shy and worried but as soon as he caught Blaine's eye he would look away. Blaine was placing a new letter in the usual place in the piano when he noticed Karofsky lurking behind the locker and although he avoided Blaine's eyes he didn't move from his position. Blaine walked to his car afterwards, not noticing that Karofsky had walked into the choir room too.

Dear Kurt,

I know I haven't written in a while and I wanted to make up for it. I'm just about to see you but I wanted you to have something sweet to open when school starts again after Christmas.

I've been walking around like a lovesick puppy these last few weeks, since you kissed me, since we danced and since you agreed to be my boyfriend. I don't ever want to come down from this cloud. I used to watch you from afar (not in a creepy way but in a 'wish I could know you better' way) but now I can talk to you, now I can kiss you, now I can laugh with you. Those things are way better than I could ever have imagined.

I think you're beautiful Kurt. Your eyes light up any room and I still haven't been able to decide the colour. I know the word 'blue' can't possibly be enough and sometimes I think they must be grey in certain light. The way they widen in surprise or pleasure, when they soften after a kiss or as they look at mine, I think I could sink in those eyes and I wouldn't mind. I think that would be the only way to die.

The way your lips curve into a slow smile or when you laugh so widely that your dimples show. I think those are my favourite expressions and my chest swoops every time. The way your voice changes depending on your level of excitement or as you're singing. I think I always want you to be singing, just for me.

I know we've only kissed but I think sometimes your scent might overwhelm me as I kiss along your jaw and it takes all my self-control not to kiss and nibble your neck. Your skin is beautiful Kurt, so pale and perfect that I would never want to blemish it.

Never change Kurt, you're amazing just the way you are.

Blaine x

Dear Blaine,

This probably isn't the letter you're expecting to receive under the keys of the piano but I saw you walk into the choir room and place your letter here and I don't know quite how to express myself to anyone face to face about this. I guess you probably hate me for what I did to Kurt and I understand that. I have apologised but I know sometimes that's not enough.

I guess by now Kurt has told you what happened, what I did. I know you probably already know this but it's taken me a while to get my head around it all. I don't want the label and I can't even write it down in a letter or admit it to myself but I am who I am.

Now I write this I'm not sure why I am doing this but here it is. I want to be able to talk about it, want to be confident like Kurt is and although I know now that you're dating him and I know you're gay, I can't help but wonder how it was to come out like that. Were you scared? How did you do it? Weren't you worried about the consequences?

I know you won't receive this until after Christmas now that winter break begins and I don't really know how I want this to play out. I don't know if I could deal with you discussing it with me or mentioning it to anyone. I think the act of writing something has helped even if I'm a coward about everything else. It's a start anyway.

Dave

xXx

Christmas approached soon enough and Blaine spent the day with family, his mum relishing her role and enjoying Cooper's company. Cooper had agreed to return for at least three days so as they were in the kitchen preparing evening drinks for a few of his parents' friends, Blaine asked if he could see the Hummels and Kurt.

"Oh, who's Kurt squirt?" Cooper asked and laughed at his own rhyme.

"My boyfriend," Blaine replied bashfully. Cooper smiled widely.

"Way to go B," he said as he hugged him hard around the shoulders and touched his hair.

"Boyfriend?" their mother asked as she walked towards the kitchen door carrying fresh drinks for her guests.

"Yeah mum, we've been dating for a few weeks now," Blaine said looking at her carefully trying to gauge her reaction. She pointedly looked away and left the room to distribute drinks. Blaine looked worriedly at Cooper but he only smiled at him in support.

"So can I go mum?" Blaine asked as she returned to the kitchen.

"I don't know if that's a good idea Blaine," she said after a while, deliberately avoiding his gaze.

"Why?" he asked.

"Yeah why?" Cooper said getting angry at his mother's response.

"What would your father say?"

"Well if he's not even left his office to speak to his guests this evening, I doubt he would notice Blaine's absence," Cooper said angrily.

"But you know he wouldn't improve and he said he'd be down after the conference call."

Blaine didn't know what to say. He really wanted to see Kurt, and said he hoped to get away when he rang him this morning to wish him a Merry Christmas. They still hadn't exchanged gifts but Blaine didn't want to upset his father or worry his mother. He looked from Cooper's angry face to his mother's worried expression and his chest sunk knowing what he was going to do.

"Ok, I won't go," he said resignedly.

"Oh yes you will," Cooper said, almost shoving Blaine out of the kitchen door and the muffled chat in the living room had stilled, everyone desperately trying to hear what was going on.

"Cooper, hush," his mother said.

"He needs to go to see his boyfriend," Cooper whispered near her face pointedly.

They looked at each other for a while, his mother deciding how far Cooper would go and how much she could cover up. She finally nodded imperceptibly and Blaine breathed a sigh of relief as he prepared to slip out the door, holding Kurt's Christmas present. His wide grin was all the thanks that Cooper needed as he playfully punched Blaine's shoulder on the way out.

xXx

Blaine always felt welcomed at the Hummels and Christmas was no exception. As soon as Burt opened the door to Blaine, standing there in the cold, clutching his present to Kurt and with his festive red bowtie on, Burt brought him inside for an overwhelming hug.

"Merry Christmas kiddo!" Burt exclaimed as he ushered him in properly. "Kurt, look who's here," he shouted.

"Blaine!" Kurt said as he rushed to the door to envelop him in a warm hug and Blaine had never felt happier. Burt had returned to the living room and Blaine timidly leant in for a kiss. Kurt's lips were warm and inviting, tasting of egg nog and Blaine would never get used to the feel of his lips against his own.

Once they were settled in Kurt's bedroom, Blaine filled him in on the awkward Christmas exchange at home before he had left and Kurt's eyes widened in surprise.

"But I thought your father knew?"

"He does but he's never acknowledged it and I guess because I've never had a boyfriend before he hasn't had to deal with it. I don't really get what the deal is anyway. I could probably grow two heads and he wouldn't notice; he'd be so engrossed in a conference call and paperwork."

"Will you talk to him about it?"

"Well my mum seems to think that he wouldn't approve so I don't know what the point of a discussion would be. But I won't change who I am Kurt. He'll have to live with it and I know I'll worry my mum but I don't care." Blaine felt brave, like he could conquer the world and Kurt smiled at him warmly.

"Well I'm glad you're here, I've missed you," Kurt said as he swooped in for another kiss as they sat on the bed opposite each other.

Blaine melted into the kiss and Kurt found himself laying back on the bed as Blaine hovered over him, still kissing him warmly. Their lips moved slowly against each other and Blaine explored Kurt's sides as he lay on the bed. Kurt laughed as he was tickled and Blaine's lips started to travel over his jaw and towards his neck.

"What is that cologne you wear?" Blaine almost growled against his neck so the whispered breaths travelled over Kurt's skin, "You drive me mad Kurt…" Kurt was surprised at the moan that escaped his lips as Blaine started to suck at his collarbone and stroke along the newly revealed skin above the waistband of his pants. They had kissed many times before in the safety of Kurt's bedroom but normally this was too much for Blaine who was still shy of his feelings for Kurt. Whenever he felt overwhelmed they would sit apart for a while and watch a movie but today, after the thought that he wouldn't be able to see him after all, Blaine needed to touch, needed to explore and feel. Kurt did not mind at all.

Kurt started to touch and feel along Blaine's back, his firm muscles under his shirt and sighs and gasps escaped as they became closer and relished in this new intimacy. Blaine felt addicted to Kurt, to looking, to touching and that scent. It was only as Kurt moaned loudly when Blaine's erection could be strongly felt against his thigh, that Blaine moved away like he had been burnt. His heaving breath came out of his mouth as he looked over Kurt's face, his eyes dark, his lips parted and kissed pink. Blaine sat up and moved further away from Kurt, almost facing away.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked timidly, afraid he had done something wrong.

"I'm sorry Kurt," Blaine whispered, not daring to look at him, "I was coming on too strong." He looked so ashamed at himself that Kurt almost laughed but instead he leant forward stroking his elbow in an attempt to get Blaine to look at him properly. Blaine's eyes went back to Kurt's in question.

"Don't be silly Blaine, I completely loved that and I feel exactly the same." And to prove his point he leant his lower body to press against Blaine's thigh. Blaine's eyes widened and he smiled.

"Oh," he breathed and Kurt smiled, "I just get overwhelmed sometimes and I…" his voice trailed away as he looked fondly at Kurt.

"I suppose we never did discuss it but I like going at the speed we're going," Kurt said, "I mean I know neither of us have had boyfriends before and we should just take it slow but I know that you drive me a little crazy too and you have an amazing tongue." Kurt looked bashfully at Blaine but he only smiled in return. "Let's exchange gifts!" Blaine said excitedly.

"Ok, open mine first," Kurt said as he handed Blaine a slim gift, wrapped neatly with a bow. Blaine smiled as he opened the book, which was a book of love letters from great men.

"I saw this and thought of you," Kurt said smiling.

"It's fantastic Kurt, thank you," Blaine said as he leaned in to kiss Kurt slowly on the cheek. He started to thumb through a few letter entries as Kurt started to hum expectantly.

"Oh yeah, here's your present!" Blaine said. As his dad had been made redundant from his last job, Blaine's allowance had been stopped, despite his dad now working all the hours he could and starting the process of becoming partner at the smaller firm in Lima. Blaine guessed that he didn't want to spend money if he thought one day it might stop again. He had made his present for Kurt out of alphabetical letters from the letters he had received from Kurt that he photocopied secretly at school. It had taken him ages but he had never been more nervous as Kurt opened the box slowly.

"Oh my gosh Blaine, it's amazing!" Kurt gushed as he opened the box to reveal a ring made out of letters. "Are these my letters?"

"Yeah I made copies, I would never ruin the originals," Blaine said smiling timidly.

"What do they spell?" Kurt asked as he mouthed the letters he could read, "I – L – O…"

"I love you," Blaine whispered as Kurt finished and looked up, his blue eyes widened in surprise.

"You love me?" he asked, smiling.

"Yes Kurt, god I love you," Blaine said, "I think I always have…" he sounded embarrassed at the admission and he looked down at the ring in Kurt's hand.

"I love you too Blaine," Kurt said as he came closer to kiss Blaine warmly, the box being placed beside them on the bed as Kurt leant over Blaine, still attached to his lips and as Blaine was lowered on the bed, a sigh could be heard slither out between them.