"George and I aren't engaged," Kurt began as he looked to Blaine sitting in his car. "I couldn't let him lose face so I let him carry out that charade in the restaurant. I couldn't let him down in front of the one man that I hold everyone up to." Kurt looked at the dashboard in the car, rather than at Blaine's open-mouthed expression.

"So you aren't together anymore?" Blaine asked.

"No," Kurt whispered and Blaine breathed a small sigh of relief.

"I know this is strange," Blaine started, trying to look at Kurt but finding it difficult, "But I started to feel something I'd never felt before when you told me about you and George." Kurt looked at him, not sure if he was implying what Kurt had hoped.

"You were jealous?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah," Blaine said, laughing at himself, knowing it to be ridiculous but he had always told Kurt the truth and he wasn't going to stop now. "Crazy jealous, like in the pit of my stomach," he said clutching his stomach for effect, "I wanted to hit George and kiss you simultaneously."

"What?" Kurt began, his eyes wide, his mouth agape.

"I think you've been so unattainable for so long, never having a long term relationship that I assumed that you would always be in my life and George threatened that I guess."

"That's how I've been feeling about you and Ben," Kurt said and at the admission Blaine's face softened.

"I'm sorry Kurt," Blaine said, finally realising, "I never thought about us like that. I mean that was so long ago but our friendship is so strong I couldn't bear the thought of life without you. Does that seem silly now I'm getting married to someone else?"

"No," Kurt said, his voice choked, "Not silly but I don't want to lose you Blaine. Promise me that no matter where life takes you, no matter where either of us move to, that we'll always be in each other's lives?"

Blaine took Kurt's hand in his and smiled. "I promise."

---

Kurt hatched the crazy plan on his way to his hotel after seeing Blaine. As soon as he arrived at the pillars at the front of the hotel he didn't enter, instead he asked a taxi to take him to Ben's father's office before he changed his mind.

"Kurt, I wasn't expecting to see you," Walter said, "I thought Blaine was picking me up."

"Well he had a few things to get ready, you know what these busy grooms are like," he said smiling, "So I said I'd pick you up."

"Ok, I'll just wrap things up here and be with you in a moment."

"Oh that's ok, no hurry," Kurt said, "In fact would you mind if I borrowed your phone?"

"Oh of course, use the one in my office," Walter said.

Kurt walked to the end of the corridor and sat down quickly in Walter's chair and opened his laptop, clicking on the icon for his email. His breathing was already shallow, aware that he didn't have loads of time and hating himself for what he was about to do but he considered Blaine's future and in the long run this would be better. There was no way that Ben was right for Blaine and though it might have started to make Kurt a little crazy, he knew that after their conversation earlier it would need to be something drastic that caused Blaine to cancel the wedding. He started writing the email to Blaine's agent, explaining that he was Walter Wallace, Blaine's future father-in-law and in need of a favour. Kurt pretended that Walter wanted to offer Blaine a job but he was undecided and Kurt asked Eric, Blaine's agent to consider letting him go to allow him to take the job offered, guilt-free. He finished the email and was about to click send when he stopped.

"Why would I send this, he'll lose his singing contracts," Kurt said talking to the laptop, "I'm a terrible person why would I send this?" He clicked on the 'don't send' button but was greeted with a new option to 'save for later' or 'delete'.

"I'm just saving it," he reasoned to himself, "I'm not sending it, just saving it for later, so we can come back here and Blaine might accidentally see it." His eyes alighted on the little black box that he had taken out of his jacket pocket and he opened it gingerly. The ring inside was beautiful, exactly the type that Kurt would have wanted and he placed it on his wedding finger. He could picture Blaine asking him to marry him, his hazel eyes warm with affection and the thought of that drove him to click 'save for later'. As he took Walter in his car he reasoned he hadn't sent it, could always go back later to delete it but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was a bad person.

It was only later when he was returning to the office with Blaine that they realised they had the wrong set of keys and couldn't get inside the building. Kurt had deliberately left a file behind so he'd have an excuse to return.

"There has to be a janitor or someone that can open the building," Kurt exclaimed, slamming his fists on the glass doors.

"Ben must have given me a different set of keys, don't worry we'll return tomorrow morning," Blaine said, starting to walk away.

"No I need to get that file now, it's really important."

"What's so important?"

"I have a deadline, I need that file," Kurt said, getting more and more desperate.

"Look no one will be working at the weekend, it can wait," Blaine said kindly and Kurt gave it up and was led silently to his hotel. The lift was silent, Kurt staring at the floor wondering what Blaine would think of him if he ever found out. Kurt left the lift to open his room door with barely a goodbye to Blaine who remained in the lift and Blaine stopped him.

"Kurt," he said, "Does it mean that much to you?" Kurt nodded.

"Let's go then," Blaine said, walking to Kurt's room, "We can ring Walter's house and ask for the keys and go over later."

"Oh thank you, thank you," Kurt exclaimed, hugging Blaine tightly.

"Ok," Blaine said laughing, "Let's go in."

Blaine's phone rang as soon as he entered Kurt's room.

"Hello," Blaine said, "Eric, how are...." He wasn't allowed to finish the conversation as Eric interrupted and Blaine's eyes went wide.

"He did what?" he exclaimed, "What did you say?" There was a pause while Eric spoke and Kurt sat on the bed, suddenly feeling sick at the realisation of what must have happened. "Thanks Eric, I owe you one. I don't want to stop what I'm doing, and thanks for telling me.... Yeah I will do, speak soon."

"What was that?" Kurt asked timidly though he knew the answer.

"Walter sent Eric an email asking him to fire me so I could accept the job that Walter had offered me." Blaine looked small and forlorn and so in need of a hug but he soon tensed his shoulders and reached for his phone once more.

"I need to ring Ben, will you excuse me Kurt?" And Kurt sat outside the hotel room with the door closed and his knees raised. He thought he might cry and he barely noticed a cleaning lady passing through the corridor until she stopped.

"Are you ok sir? Are you locked out?"

"No," Kurt said, barely looking up, "I'm just a very bad person. I do bad things to very honest people." His hands started to shake and the girl clearly didn't know what to say or do. She looked up and down the corridor as if she might get some help but finding none she sat next to Kurt.

"Can I help you sir?" she asked and Kurt just shook his head, knowing he was beyond help. "My grandmother always said: 'this too shall pass.'"

"Thanks," Kurt whispered as she got up and went on her way, giving a sad little wave that she couldn't do more. Suddenly Kurt fell backwards as the door was opened roughly and he lay on his back staring up at Blaine who came to kneel beside him.

"What happened?" Kurt asked.

"It's over," Blaine said, "He denied it, said I was crazy and paranoid. I think I was crazy to think I'd fallen for someone I hardly knew. I'm so glad you're here." Blaine looked down at Kurt and smiled. Kurt thought for a moment he might lean in and kiss him but he didn't and Kurt lay there, waiting for the guilt to disappear now that he had achieved what he had wanted.

"You still got that ring?" Blaine asked.

Kurt smiled and frowned all at once, tears starting in his eyes at his embarrassment.

"I tried it on and it won't come off," Kurt said, holding up his hand to show Blaine. Blaine took his hand gently, holding the ring finger and placing it in his mouth. He sucked for a while and then took the ring out of his mouth, leaving Kurt a pile of jelly on the floor at the most erotic thing he had experienced in quite a while. It took a little longer for Kurt to stand up and Blaine stretched out his hand to help him.

"Can we spend some time together tomorrow?" Blaine asked Kurt quietly, "Before we return to New York?" Kurt nodded. "I've missed you," Blaine finished and to see him turn away sadly at how the situation had changed, Kurt felt his heart sink.

---

They found themselves on a boat the following afternoon, the greenish blue water almost glowing yellow in places where the light hit the waves. Blaine looked sadly at the water, pensive as if he had done nothing but think and dream and Kurt wished he could tell him it was all a lie, that he could marry Ben if he really wanted. But his tongue seemed to be stuck to the roof of his dry mouth and he watched the water instead.

"I've been thinking about us over the last few days," Blaine started.

"Well there's lots of memories to choose from," Kurt quipped though he wondered what Blaine thought.

"It's more than that," Blaine said, turning to face Kurt, determined to be understood. "You've sort of been the man in my life all these years."

"You've been the man in mine," Kurt said.

"With all the wedding preparation going on, I guess I knew that these last few days would probably be our last together that when we meet in future we wouldn't be alone but now the wedding has been cancelled, I don't have to rush," he said and Kurt's eyes twinkled in the sun, making Blaine smile at the sight.

"You and I, in our relationships with other people, we didn't use the word 'love' a lot did we?" Blaine asked. Kurt shook his head.

"Ben says if you love someone that you tell them straight away, that if you wait too long the moment passes and..." Blaine's voice trailed away as the shadow of the bridge they were travelling under passed across his face. Kurt couldn't really see him but he came closer, his breath hitched and Kurt could feel the gentle puff of air on his face as Blaine exhaled. He could just lean in and kiss him, tell him how much he loved him but just like he said the moment passed and Blaine was suddenly bathed in light again and the moment disappeared.

"We didn't even have a song," Blaine said, "Ben and I. That was probably a bad sign all along." He smiled and leant in closer to Kurt as he took his hand. "Never knew I could feel like this,
like I've never seen the sky before. Want to vanish inside your kiss, every day I love you more and more." Blaine began to sing almost whispering it in Kurt's ear and Kurt could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

"Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing? Telling me to give you everything," Kurt continued, "Seasons may change, winter to spring, but I love you until the end of time."

"Come what may, come what may, I will love you until my dying day," they sang together, Blaine starting to spin Kurt closer towards him as they stood at the helm of the boat. The tourists were sitting on the seats on the top deck, completely oblivious to the goings on behind them and Kurt smiled. Something flickered in Blaine's eyes, recognition of some emotion buried deep but he crept a little closer to Kurt and gently touched his lips with his own. Kurt melted into the kiss, remembering so many just like this over the years but this one much more tender, more gentle. They parted and sudden panic filled Kurt at the realisation that this was all based on a falsehood, that Blaine wasn't truly his and he knew he would have to part from him and tell him the truth. Blaine knew something was wrong as Kurt let go of his hands and leant again on the railing of the boat, looking down at the water and he eyed him curiously, waiting for an explanation.

"I have a confession to make," Kurt began, not daring to look at Blaine, so innocent and trusting next to him. "I did something foolish and oh so bad."

"You didn't want me to kiss you?" Blaine asked tentatively.

"Oh god no that's not it," Kurt said, grabbing Blaine's hand in order to be understood, "I love you Blaine, I have loved you for nine years, that kiss was perfect." Blaine smiled warmly at Kurt's admission and came closer to him, about to kiss him again. "But I need to tell you this before we continue." Blaine looked taken aback. They had kissed constantly in greeting when Blaine hadn't been with Ben and Blaine had assumed the easy affection would return now.

"The email that Walter sent to your agent?" Kurt said and Blaine looked at him in surprise at the change of topic. "I wrote that."

"Are you crazy?" Blaine exclaimed and took a few steps back as if Kurt might contaminate him and a few of the tourists turned to face them to see what the commotion was. "Are you completely insane? How could you do that?"

"It wasn't meant to get sent," Kurt said, trying to get closer, "I just wanted you to get mad at Ben." He leant back sighing in contempt at himself. "I have done nothing but underhanded despicable things that aren't even that imaginative since I got here." Blaine had turned away from Kurt in utter disbelief, their tender moment completely forgotten. "Blaine I was just trying to win you," Kurt said, touching his arm in the hope that he would look at him. "To win you back but that doesn't excuse any of it," he said and he started to cry and Blaine leant back looking at him carefully. "I'm pond scum," Kurt continued, "Well lower than that actually I'm like the fungus that feeds on pond scum."

"Lower than that," Blaine said, "The pus that infects the mucus, that cruds up the fungus, that feeds on the pond scum." Kurt closed his eyes in understanding, tears escaping down his cheeks. He had never felt so low.

"On the other hand," Blaine said, smiling slightly and taking Kurt's hand. "Thank you for loving me that much, that way."

"Except it makes me fungus," Kurt said, tears affecting his voice.

"Well that part I knew," Blaine said laughing and Kurt let out a sob mixed with laughter. Blaine tenderly wiped his face and brought him closer.

"What are you going to do now?" Kurt asked, his voice trembling.

Blaine looked at him. "I don't know, I guess I need to speak to Ben now, sort this out." Kurt nodded in understanding. He had lost and Ben had won and he closed his eyes in the knowledge he had ruined perhaps the last days they would see each other properly and on their own. He felt small and lost and knowing that Blaine wouldn't be there to pick him up like usual made him feel even more alone.