The first thing Blaine noticed was the taste of carpet as he tried to swallow. He woke up groggy, feeling blindly for his bedside lamp, which he managed to knock over before he sat up slowly, the blood reaching his head in stages. He was suddenly aware of his pounding head and he clutched it painfully.

"Oh fuck," he moaned to nobody, "What did I drink last night?"

The half drunk tumbler of eggnog seemed to mock him as it rested on the side. Hed only had one or two, how did that equate to a banging headache and the taste of fur? He stumbled to the bathroom to inspect the damage a little closer in the mirror but it was only when he stubbed his toe on his old piano that the memory of his song came flooding back. He groaned and closed his eyes, feeling too weak to make it to the bathroom. He sat back on the bed, holding his painful head in his hands.

"What have I done?" he muttered to himself.

It was only as he woke the day after Christmas day, the pretty keepsake box on his bedside table and the memory of the song playing in his mind, that Kurt thought perhaps he had misread it all. Blaine was a good friend, the very best, but perhaps the loneliness of the day spent mainly on his own, Christmas in a cold city, so big and vast, meant that he had sung that song and directed it to Kurt out of misplaced affection. Maybe Kurt had taken it wrongly, misinterpreting his need for companionship and taking it too far. He would ring Blaine a little later to find out.

But as the day wore on and he helped Carole with another meal for visiting family his mind kept returning to Blaine and his song on the piano. The song was one of his favourite all-time songs and Blaine knew that, knew it reminded him of his mom who would hum it in the kitchen as she baked cupcakes. He was sure he had told Blaine that many weeks ago, maybe he was just singing to go with his Christmas present? But as he cooked and baked, stirring mechanically, his mind wandered to those earnest brown green eyes that often made Kurt melt and that laugh that Kurt thought just might be the best sound ever invented. He stopped stirring, his hand stuck in the tough mixture.

"You ok sweetie?" Carole asked as she was chopping vegetables from the other side of the kitchen. Kurt started.

"Oh yeah,"" he said, stirring again and his eyes returning to the task in hand.

"Anything on your mind?" Carole persisted, "You look like youve stirred that mixture quite enough."

Kurt looked down at the dough accusingly, as if it had let him down. He sighed.

"Just a little dilemma," he said. He looked at Caroles kind face and sighed again. "I have a friend…" he began and Carole nodded, knowing exactly who he meant. "Who met another friend online but the lines are all blurred for them now and they live so far apart but theyre as close as you can be when you know each other online. Now its a little complicated and I dont know…" Kurt hesitated. "I dont know what to suggest to my friend," he finished. Carole nodded again, taking the information in and looking carefully at the door in case Burt walked in.

"I think first off, you should tell your friend to be careful of online friendships," she said, "You dont really know anyone that you meet online, they could be pretending to be anybody."

"Oh I trust Blaine," Kurt said quickly without thinking then closed his mouth abruptly when he realised. Carole smiled.

"Its fine honey," she said coming closer so she could whisper, "I think its great that youre making friends even if it is online. Just be careful."

"Hes great," Kurt rushed out, "I mean we text, chat on skype and online and I just know I can trust him."

Carole smiled as he gushed.

"He bought me a keepsake box that I told him reminded me of my mom and he remembers all our conversations, like I really matter to him," he said then he took a seat at the kitchen counter, looking a little sunken. "But he sang me a song yesterday, for Christmas, a love song," he hesitated, looking up at Carole who tried not to react though he said it slowly. "And I dont know what to think."

"Do you feel the same?"

Kurt thought about it, didnt think it wise to admit so much but thoughts of Blaine had been playing along the empty stage of his mind for a few weeks now and he looked up sheepishly. Carole smiled.

"I think I might do."

Carole clasped her hands together but refrained from squealing. Kurt blushed.

"Then you need to meet I think," she said calmly, "Maybe with other people, so theres less pressure. Maybe test out the waters a little?"

He thought it over and nodded. Meeting Blaine would be scary and a little strange. He had a certain image of Blaine, one that really only showed him from his shoulders upwards and he wasnt sure what would happen when they met.

"Think about it honey," she said rubbing his arm kindly and leaving him to chop the vegetables once more. That was all Kurt could do.

The silence was driving Blaine a little crazy. He had started blogging online, speaking to other people he knew, keeping his posts light and cheerful all to highlight that he was around and open to talk if Kurt wasnt busy. There wasnt a day now where they didnt communicate in some way and Blaine knew what the silence meant: Kurt was thinking or avoiding him. Blaine realised he had to get out of the dorm.

He took several photos while he was in Central Park, instantly posting them on instagram, which linked to his other sites. Haunting black and white photos where the light shone brightly, so bright in fact it seemed to pierce his eyes through the camera. He never noticed Kurts comments as he walked the park, desperately trying to take the perfect shot, finding images slipping away, his finger never quite quick enough. His heart beat faster and he walked quicker, bending every so often to take unusual shots. Eventually he noticed a beep and it popped up on his phone that he had several comments on his instagram account.

Fantastic shot, wish I was there.

The lights are amazing Blaine, really piercing.

It looks cold there, is it cold?

Blaine could read between the lines, Kurt was reaching out, even seemed nervous despite the distance between them and the beauty of online friendships. He was starting to ramble. Blaine replied in his comments box.

It is cold, Im still in the park.

Are you ok?

I needed to get out of my dorm, needed the chill and the lights in the darkness.

That sounds like a metaphor.

I think it might be.

Blaine kept walking for a while, no longer taking photos, the impetus gone and he felt a little tired. It had been a surprisingly long day despite the worry and the loneliness.

Can I ring later?

Blaine let the comment stare blankly at him for a while as he contemplated complaining of a headache or putting him off for a while but he replied, knowing that Kurt was trying his best.

Sure, Ill be home soon.

Blaine left it like that, just a casual comment between friends but his stomach started to twist in knots as he walked home quickly. The chill in the air was no longer pleasant and he only wanted to bury his head under the covers so he could forget. Kurt was sure to let him down gently, may even pretend he hadnt seen the video and continue on as before, letting Blaine slowly die inside.

As he entered his dorm, prepared his laptop for a skype call, an event that often made his day, he soon felt the dread settle into his stomach and stay there. He pressed call.

"Blaine?"

It was a useless question, Blaines face appearing in front of him, Kurt knew it was him but the situation seemed to call for trepidation. Kurt clutched his hands in his lap, out of sight and tried a warm smile.

"How was your Christmas?" Blaine asked, cutting right to a point in the conversation that would be comfortable. Kurt looked taken aback.

"Oh yeah it was great thanks," he said happily, "We had family over today so I was a little busy earlier. What have you done today?"

"Just walking around the park," Blaine said, looking slightly embarrassed. "I was a little unwell earlier, think I drank a little too much of the eggnog my mom bought me."

Kurt chuckled a little, feeling uneasy, Blaine hung his head.

"I know Ive always been a bit of a lightweight but even for me thats embarrassing," he said, "And drinking on my own." He shook his head at his own behaviour.

Kurt looked like he didnt know what to say. Christmas should never be spent alone and yet he had allowed Blaine to wallow. He started to speak at the same time Blaine did.

"Blaine, I shouldnt…"

"Never mind, I know its bad…"

"Sorry you speak first," Kurt said but Blaine indicated he should continue.

"I just feel bad that I allowed you to spend it on your own. Christmas I mean," he stuttered, "No one should be on their own."

Blaine shrugged out of embarrassment. He looked so lost and confused, Kurt immediately opened his mouth and wanted to close it straight after he let the impassioned words spill out.

"You should visit me."

As soon as the words came out of Kurts mouth, Blaines jaw went slack.

"Youd want to meet me?" Blaine asked.

Kurt looked instantly sad that Blaine had asked such a lowly question.

"Of course I want to meet you," Kurt said passionately, coming forward in his seat so Blaine saw a close up of Kurts piercing blue eyes. "Would you be able to afford it?"

"Oh yeah," Blaine said instantly, "My allowance would cover that, I dont spend a lot anyway."

Kurt smiled.

"And of course Id love to," Blaine said smiling wide, "Meet you, I mean."

"Great, when do you think youd be able to come out here? I know you cant miss classes but maybe for a weekend?"

Blaine thought it over. "Two weeks time? I can get things together and make sure I dont have too much work on."

"Great and you can stay with me and Rachel if you like."

"Oh I dont want to intrude," Blaine said, now slightly flustered. "I mean weve never met and I could be anyone. I could be deranged."

Kurt laughed. "I doubt youre deranged Blaine. I feel like Ive known you for years though, is that strange?"

Blaines expression softened and he nodded, panic slightly over.

"Yeah I feel that way too," he said, "But I wouldnt want you to feel awkward. I can stay in a hotel."

"Ok," Kurt said seeing the sense, "Im really looking forward to meeting you Blaine."

"Me too. Ill make all the arrangements and let you know."

Kurt nodded and after a while he was about to sign off when he whispered something.

"It was a lovely song you sang last night, Blaine."

His voice was so soft, Blaine almost was tempted to ask him to repeat it but before he could even respond Kurt just smiled, small and sweet, a blush on his cheeks and he said goodbye and was gone.