Christmas Eve went silently by, filled with casual shopping and coffee shops; the hurried bustle of people getting last minute shopping swept over Kurt and Blaine and barely touched their small talk and awkward silences.

Nothing of consequence was discussed, but every so often one or the other would glance over to see eyes of blue or amber deep in thought or worry, nothing mentioned, everything glossed over. They separated briefly during the day, both aware the other was getting personal Christmas gifts and both thinking they would be inconsequential compared to what they both actually wanted for Christmas.

They slept in the same bed that night but neither really spoke to the other, just pleasantly pretending nothing was wrong, insincere smiles swapped and politeness exchanged. As the night light was switched off, Kurt could feel the coldness sweep over him from the other side of the bed where Blaine had turned his back on Kurt. Kurt's heart sank as he could feel the lump start in his throat, constricting his breathing and causing a sudden gasp of air that wasn't enough and Blaine turned suddenly.

"Kurt?" Kurt could hear the tears in Blaine's voice as he touched Kurt's shoulder gently. Sobs wracked Kurt's body as Blaine held him close.

"Kurt, Kurt don't cry, don't cry," Blaine stroked Kurt's cheeks quickly, wiping tears away as soon as they appeared, trying to erase pain, turn back time. Blaine seemed oblivious to his own tears.

Kurt just continued to sob until there was no more and only hiccups ensued. Blaine had started to rock Kurt sideways and stroke his back lovingly until Kurt parted his chest from Blaine.

Looking up at him in the dim light from the street outside, Kurt could see Blaine's own tear stained face and he kissed his cheeks in acknowledgement and started to turn away, hoping to forget.

"Kurt?" Blaine begged, "Don't go away, just stay here."

"Nothing has changed Blaine, we may cry but nothing has changed."

Blaine said nothing, a sigh escaping his lips as fresh tears sprang to his eyes.

"I will leave and you will stay here and I've got far too attached for that not to affect me. I just can't do it anymore Blaine, I feel so…" Tears starting again, Kurt attempted again to part from Blaine and turn around.

"But can't we, can't we have this week?" Blaine asked, "Can't we just have Christmas, pretend?"

Kurt looked carefully at Blaine's face, hopeful even for just this one week and his heart sank. He couldn't do it but he would try for Blaine.

xXx

Christmas Day itself was quiet and Kurt and Blaine worked quickly in the kitchen, not cooking a big turkey but making a selection of their favourite foods and loads of different desserts. Once they were full and opened gifts that they had brought with them from home, there were just the two gifts left under the tree.

They looked at them, solitary presents, lonely and poignant already and neither wanted to be the first to open them.

"Open it," Blaine said, "You should go first."

Kurt looked carefully at Blaine, worried he would cry again but taking the first step to get the gift from under the tree and passing his gift to Blaine.

"Let's open them together."

Kurt's gift from Blaine was a simple scroll wrapped in red tinsel and as he unravelled it, Blaine tore open the envelope inviting him to an event this evening – a surprise. Blaine raised a perfectly triangular eyebrow in question but then smiled as Kurt opened his scroll to reveal a print with a picture of Kurt and Blaine taken on the bridge overlooking the sunset. Written over the sunset were the lyrics to 'Being Alive' that Kurt had sung their first night together in Paris. Kurt smiled despite the tears in his eyes and looked at Blaine to find him suddenly worrying his lip under his teeth.

"Thank you Blaine, I think I needed reminding of that." He kissed him sweetly.

"Do you really like it?"

"Yeah, of course," and he hugged him warmly, the pain still evident in their body language.

"What's my surprise?" Blaine smiled, hoping to worm it out of Kurt by looking cute.

"That won't work mister; you'll just have to wait. Honestly Blaine, I think I owe you an apology, I shouldn't be making our last few days so sad and I hope this makes it up to you."

"I completely understand Kurt, gosh I feel like my world's ending but we have the next few days together and we should enjoy them. How about Disneyland tomorrow?"

"Are you kidding me?" Kurt exclaimed excitedly, "That would be very cool."

"And we need to do all the museums and art galleries you planned to visit before and you said you'd help with my apartment?"

"Oh yeah, I remember. Well we'll plan ideas now."

Kurt sketched ideas, they looked at online sales for items that would go with the new colour scheme Blaine wanted and hours flew by, Kurt advising politely, very aware that Blaine should finally be allowed to have the apartment he wanted. He looked up at the time and jumped up from the sofa when he realised.

"Blaine! Look at the time, we have to get ready! We need to leave in 30 minutes."

"Where are we going again?" Blaine asked slyly, a cheeky smile appearing on his face.

"Oh no you don't," Kurt shouted from the bedroom, "You're not getting the information that easily."

They rushed out of the apartment, the only clue given was to wrap up warm and after a pretty long walk Blaine knew they were approaching probably the most well-known roadway in the world.

The Arc de Triomphe was brightly lit ahead of them, the road lined with Christmas trees and despite the day there were still cars and pedestrians lining the street. Blaine could see several musicians under the arc and it was deserted as Kurt led them to the top, the twelve streets spreading out from beneath them, the whole of Paris below.

"How did you do this Kurt?" Blaine asked incredulously, "I can't believe this."

"Did you think you were the only one who could organise?" Kurt smiled, gently, a blush creeping along his cheeks as he saw Blaine's awe and wonder. They admired the view and suddenly Kurt walked away from Blaine, nearing the end of the arc, Blaine remaining where he stood, admiring Kurt's confident stride. The music below started quietly but Kurt didn't turn to face Blaine as his voice rang out slowly.

I don't know you but I want you all the more for that
Words fall through me and always fool me and I can't react
And games that never amount to more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Blaine was entranced as Kurt turned to face the roads below, not once looking at Blaine. He wanted to inch loser to Kurt, sink himself in his arms but felt tethered to the spot.

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly eyes that know me and I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me and I'm painted black
You have suffered enough and warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had the choice
You've made it now

Kurt turned slowly to face Blaine and in the lights of the arc, he could see the tears pooling and the sadness etched there on his face. He was begging Blaine.

Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

Kurt could feel his legs almost buckle as Blaine rushed to catch him by the waist and kiss behind his ear.

As they parted, Blaine kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, "I have no choice Kurt, you're the only one, you're home."

Kurt could only smile, watery eyes twinkling in the light around them.