Battery Park had been fairly  empty for hours, with nothing but a few stragglers. The water nearby sat quite still, with nothing but a few boats passing through so often to break the silence. It took hours for a single voice to break Kurt Hummels silence.

"Kurt?" that familiar voice said barely  above a whisper. It sent chills down his spine and he ignored it, continuing to stare out across the water. He wasnt ready for this.

"Come on, you know we have to talk about this," Blaine gently sat down on the bench next to him.

Still, he remained silent. He couldnt do this. He felt that if he opened his mouth to talk, hed just start crying again. Kurt didnt want to break down in front of Blaine. He had to show a stronger side than this.

"Kurt, please," Blaine whispered. 

"You know, Ive never actually gotten on a boat and visited the Statue of Liberty," Kurt said quietly. If he could talk about anything else first, maybe it wouldnt be so hard.

"We need to talk about this," Blaine told him.

"Its something everyone feels compelled to do and I just... havent done it. No reason. Ive been down here enough. So why havent I done it? Does it make me a bad American?" Kurt said. He didnt take his eyes off the water. he couldnt look at Blaine, not after what happened. it was better this way, easier.

"Where are you going with this?" Blaine asked, scooting closer to him.

"I thought about what I would say to you all morning. I tried to think of the best way to confront you about this," Kurt said, his fingers fidgeting. He glanced down at his hands, taking a deep breath. "Part of me wants to scream at you. I want to cuss you out and tell you that youre the worlds biggest asshole. Itd certainly make me feel better."

"But youre not going to?" he questioned.

"The longer Ive sat here, the more numb I feel. I dont know if I have the strength to scream at you," he let out a shaky breath. "And that part of me wants to break down and cry, not talking to you at all. And yet... here I am... talking to you."

"Kurt, you have to know that I panicked. I didnt want to hurt you," Blaines voice sounded distressed. It made Kurt flinch. He hated hearing that kind of pain in his voice.

"You made me look like a fool, Blaine," Kurt looked at him for the first time. Seeing those eyes brought tears to his own. He had gotten so comfortable with those hazel eyes. He had grown to care for the soul behind them so much. All of that had been shattered so quickly, it made his chest hurt. "You have no idea what youve even done."

"It was wrong, Kurt," Blaine said, intently holding his gaze. "Im so sorry. Youre actually making me feel worse by talking like this. You should start yelling at me."

"You made me look like the biggest idiot," Kurt said, tears running down his cheeks. "Instead of telling them something better, you chose to make me look insane. I mean, Michael said I practically assaulted you, on top of the girls in the coffee shop telling me I ambushed you, I really look like a winner, dont I?"

"I panicked," Blaine said. His broken expression pleaded for Kurt to understand.

"I know you did," Kurt nodded. When Blaine raised his eyebrows, he continued, "I saw the fear in your eyes. I know you didnt know how to react. I... expected something like this."

"Oh," Blaine looked away, his eyes finding the water the way Kurts had before.

"You havent been ready for this at all, Blaine. I would have been surprised if you came out," Kurt also looked back out at the water, observing a boat that was slowly moving in the distance. "But it still came as a blow." He wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt and added, "I felt like you slapped me in the face all over again." 

Kurt - " Blaine started, turning to face him again.

He held up a hand. "You really hurt me, Blaine. Ive been really cautious with you. I can see that youre not the person I tried picturing you to be. I had this idea in my head that I could change you, and when you didnt live up to that, I l made excuses for you. When you did hit me, I was hurt. I was angry and for the first few days, I couldnt live up to my idea of you anymore. And then I started regretting everything. I felt so damn guilty for kissing you in public, that I had myself convinced that I deserved that slap. I made the excuse that you had a right to be angry with me."

"It wasnt right, no matter how much you think you deserve it," Blaine said. "Violence is never the answer, and Im still so sorry."

"And then you came back here and apologized for doing it," Kurts voice shook, as more tears formed. "I told myself that you had changed. You were sorry for it, and I knew you wouldnt do it again, so I let you back in. We kissed, and it just..." he hesitated, looking at Blaine again. "Kissing you feels so natural, Blaine. It feels so right that my heart cant take it. I wanted to believe that we were okay again."

"I hoped we were," Blaine nodded.

Kurt continued, ignoring Blaine. He had to get this out. "And then I started thinking about my dad, and how upset I knew hed be if he found out that I ever took you back so easily after hitting me. Hes been so protective over the years, and I started wondering if he would be right. Was it too soon? Could you change that easily? I started fearing you. I was afraid of arguing whit you or setting you off in any way, because i thought it might happen again, if you were angry enough. But I felt so in love with you that I almost didnt care. We were together and it hadnt come up again, so I let it go.

"And then the interview happened," Blaine concluded.

"No," Kurt shook his head. "The fight with Rachel happened.You seemed so insecure that I thought you were just a project to me that. I knew what we had meant something to you." Kurt placed a hand on Blaines knee. "So when the interview came up, I didnt know what you would do.  I knew you cared about me, but I knew coming out would be hard for you."

"i didnt want to hurt you," Blaine said. "I just didnt know what to do."

"I expected it, but it still hurt like hell, Blaine. I realized that you didnt have to physically slap me in the face to know that you could still slap me," Kurt pulled is hand back, shaking. "You hurt me, Blaine. You made me look like a fool, and as much as I know you care about me, I cant do this anymore."

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked, the little color in his face drained completely. 

"My heart cant take much more of this. I have put so much faith in you. I thought things would be different, but I cant make excuses for you anymore. I cant act like you arent an ass anymore, because you are. I know you want to be different, but it takes a lot more than trying to get there. Its a lot of work, Blaine, and I cant build myself up for disappointment." He hated himself for doing it. He wanted so badly to believe that they could work but there was just no way, and it hurt him to do this to Blaine, but he had to protect himself first.

"Kurt, please dont do this," Blaine reached over and grabbed his hand. "Ill make this up to you. Ill come clean. Ill tell people the truth. I will cherish our relationship with pride. I wont hurt you anymore."

Kurt pulled his hand back. he rose from the bench and said, "I wish I could believe that. I know youd like to get there someday, Blaine, but I know you dont honestly mean that. If you did, you would have told the truth this morning. I was wrong to out you, but i dont believe in pretending to be something that youre not either. I cant wait around forever."

"Just give me a little time," Blaine pleaded.

Kurt shook his head, "i cant. Im sorry." He turned on is heel and ran off. He waited until he was a distance away from Blaine, before he sat down on a different bench and let out the sob he had been holding back.

Please come over. I need you.

He sent the text message to Rachel and moved into his bedroom. He had been sitting on the couch all evening, trying to distract himself with fashion magazines. But every time he let his mind wander, it went to Blaine, and he felt like he would break down all over again.

Cant. Sorry. 

Rachels reply came almost immediately, like she had been waiting for this.

Kurt dialed her number and she answered,  "what?" Her tone was short and edgy. She still wasnt over the fight they had the other day.

"Rachel, please, I need you," Kurt begged into the phone. He hoped his own tone was enough to make her change her mind.

"What happened?" she asked, not really sounding at that interested..

"You know what happened," he said, voice shaking.

"Yes, but I also know he found you at Battery Park. I told him to check there, because I know you like being somewhere somewhat  secluded for New York when youre upset, and this wouldnt be the first time you ended you there," she led him over to the couch. "So what happened?"

"I told him i cant do this anymore," Kurt sighed heavily. "Will you please come over? I just... I really need you right now."

"You know, Kurt," she said. "You should have thought about keeping a friend around before you yelled at me. Im not coming back to you, just because things got so bad with you and Blaine. Ive done enough damage when it comes to Blaine, and I clearly cant make you happy, so you need to figure this out for yourself."

"Rachel, please," Kurt said quietly.

"Im flying back to LA tonight, so dont bother calling again, because Im not going to be around. You did this to yourself, Kurt," she hung up.

Tears forming in his eyes, Kurt buried his face in the pillow on the couch. At least he was alone, so no one could see him break down.

Blaine never tried. He never tried text ing Kurt. He never called. His twitter was still inactive, and as far as Kurt knew, Blaine had disappeared from the media completely. It was almost like torture. He was happy to have space, because its what he knew he needed. However, Blaine didnt even try. He gave Kurt the space he needed, and it was almost like Blaine had never been there at all. 

He found himself staring at Blaines name in his phone all the time. On twitter, he scrolled through previous tweets of Blaines, hating himself for Blaines last tweet about Upfronts.

"Youre going to drive yourself crazy," Elliot peered over his shoulder a week later. "Kurt, youve been miserable. You need to stop staring at his name and get out of the house."

"I dont need to," Kurt argued.

"You want to get over him, dont you?" Elliot sat down on the arm of the couch, where Kurt was laying.

"Yeah," Kurt said dully.

"Come on, lets just go out and have a good time tonight. Hes gone. Rachels back in LA. Please just let me be the friend you need and take you out for a god time," Elliot batted his eyelashes at him.

Setting his phone down, Kurt nodded. "Okay. no distractions tonight. i really could use it." Elliot was right. How was he ever going to get over Blaine if he kept longing for him?

Elliot took  Kurt out to Callbacks, a hang out spot for NYADA students. Kurt had never taken the time to go there, but he wasnt sure this was his idea of getting away from the thought of Blaine.

"You should sing a number," Eliot nudged him with his elbow. "Itd be good for you to get up and sing."

"Im not doing that," Kurt shook his head. The thought of singing just took him back to the day in the theater with Blaine, where they sang together for the first time.

"Come on, youre so good!" Elliot insisted.

"Why dont you do a number?" Kurt suggested. "You first and then well see."

"Fine," Elliot got up and made his way toward the stage. He jumped right into doing a  number, and people cheered him on to do another, because he was that good. Elliot had always been a great performer, and Kurt never tired of watching him sing.

When Elliot had finished, a girl jumped up on the stage  and began singing a song by Katy Perry. Kurt jumped up from his seat and bolted for the door. It wasnt the song that had made him fall for Blaine, but just thinking of Katy Perry made him long for Blaine. He couldnt do this. It took him right back to the night in Blaines apartment and  he couldnt go back there.

"Damn it, Kurt, dont do this," Elliot hollered behind him. He grabbed Kurts arm.

"What?" Kurt whirled around to face him. /"What was this supposed to prove, Elliot? Because all its done is remind me of him, and I dont want to be reminded of him. This is killing me, and youre not helping."

"What do you want me to do, Kurt? Call him up and tell him that maybe you do need him after all?" Elliot threw his hands up in exasperation. "You were the one that cut things off with him, remember? Let him go. You arent doing yourself any favors." He shook his head, taking a step toward Kurt. "I really wanted to prove that I can still be the friend you can rely on. Im sorry about kissing you, because I know thats where all of this drama started. But Im not going to try to help you, if all youre going to do is get worked up every time something reminds you of him,."

Eliot turned to walk away and Kurt grabbed his arm. He was desperate. He had already chased Blaine away, it was his fault Rachel had abandoned him. He couldnt let his last hope walk out on him too. "Elliot, please," he cried, his voice strained. "Elliot, I do need you."

"No, Kurt, I think you need Blaine, and I think youre too afraid to admit that you do, because you know its not healthy for you," Elliot said, pulling his arm free. "Figure things out with Blaine first and then well talk."

He sat and stared at his phone for the longest time the next night. It was a cool, summer night, and the streets of New York were packed with people. Kurt sat outside of a small restaurant, watching the rush of the crowd around him. Phone in hand, his finger hovered over Blaines name. He told himself not to touch the screen.

What was he supposed to do? 

On one hand, Blaine had messed up. He had been so caught up in his own selfish pride. he had been a coward, and he handt truly considered Kurts feelings at all. Kurt had to protect his heart from getting hurt like that again. 

But on the other hand, Kurt had made mistakes too. None of this would have happened if he hadnt outted Blaine. If things had been different, maybe Blaine would have been close enough to him that he couldnt imagine hiding from the truth. Could things be different if Kurt forgave Blaine? 

All of this caused so much drama. Elliot refused to help hiin, Rachel wouldnt even talk to him, and as much as Kurt knew he couldnt deal with Blaine, he knew he needed him.

His phone suddenly rang, causing him to jump. "Hi dad," he said quietly into the phone.

"Hey, sport," his fathers comforting tone came through the phone. "Hows it going?"

"Can I ask you a question?" Kurt asked, feeling slightly uneasy. His father still didnt know everything that had happened with Blaine. Kurt had kept himself so isolated from everything in the last week, that he barely made time to talk to his father..

"Of course," he replied.

"What do you do when you think you love someone, but you know its unhealthy to be with them?" Kurt said slowly.

"Im guessing this is about that Blake kid?" Burt said.

"Blaine, yes," Kurt corrected him.

"What does your heart tell you to do, Kurt? Sometimes you do things for the wrong reason. Whats not always right is easy. Sometimes what is right isnt easy. You might have to fight for what you believe is right, but if it makes you happy, its what you gotta do." He paused. When Kurt didnt reply, he added, "When I married Carole, I still felt like I was betraying your mom. For a while, I thought it wasnt the right thing to do, because it still hurt to think about your mom. but in the end, I loved Carole so much that i knew it was the right thing to do, even if i had obstacles to face along the way."

"So I should give him another chance, even though i  told him I have to be done with him?" Kurt asked.

"I dont know what happened between you two, so you have to make that decision yourself," Burt told him. "But Kurt, I know youre a smart kid. Youve got a good head on your shoulders, and youll make the right decision. Just be careful about it, okay?

"Thanks, dad, I will," Kurt hung up with his father several minutes later. Burt had told him how well the shop was going, and in turn, Kurt told him about work and how strange it was not to have school on top of that. It was nice getting the chance to catch up with his father.

But when it was all over, Blaines name came back on his phone screen. He stared at it for a long minute and then got online. He scrolled through twitter and paused when Blaines name popped up in his timeline. This was the first he had tweeted since Upfronts. He had been completely silent for a week. Where was this going?

One simple tweet made him freeze:

The truth.

The tweet was posted with a link to a Youtube video. Kurt glanced around him, but the tables nearby were empty. He was alone. Clicking on the link, he took a deep breath.

Blaine sat in a chair in the middle of the screen. He was in a room Kurt had never seen before. His curls a mess, Blaine looked rather pale. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and began speaking to the camera.

"Hey, guys. Its Blaine. I have something I want to tell you, and I want to do it on my own, not through an interview or something that will pressure me to say the wrong thing..." He bowed his head, taking in a deep breath, before he looked back at the camera. "I was wrong last week in my interview with Kelly and Michael. Im sure most of you have seen it by now, so youll understand."

Kurts heart was hammering in his chest. He wasnt sure he was ready for this.

Blaine continued, "There have been rumors about the possibility of me being... gay for quite some time now.I have denied those rumors. I have tried proving that its a lie by dating females, most recently my co-star Rachel Berry. But Im here to clear up those rumors once and for all." He took another deep breath. Kurt could read the fearful expression in those hazel eyes, and it made his heart skip a beat.  "I was confronted about the issues from Upfronts, where someone came up and kissed me at an after party."

"Oh Blaine," Kurt could already feel his heart sinking. He had practically forced Blaine to out himself, and by the expression on Blaines face, this was a very difficult thing for him to do.

"Kelly asked me about the kiss in an interview last week, and I denied everything. I told her the man was someone I had never met, and they never stood a chance because I wasnt gay, but the truth is..." he swallowed hard. Kurt could see his hands shaking. "I did know him. I know him very well. What I said before was a lie, because I was too afraid to admit the truth. I  apologize to my fans for hiding the truth. I owe you so much more than that, but I also need to apologize to the man that kissed me. I never should have hid the truth. I never should have put him in that situation. It was wrong of me to tell everyone that he was some crazy person that did an insane thing, because the truth is... Kurt is the love of my life, and I owe it to him to be honest with all of you."

Was this real?

""I apologize for all the confusion, the rumors, and the silly games that never should have happened." Have quickly stood up and moved out of the shot, before the camera shut off and Kurts screen was blank.

He stared at the phone for a long moment. Blaine had come out. He admitted to everyone, literally everyone, that he had been lying about Kurt. 

"Kurt is the love of my life."

Those words echoed through his mind like a song on repeat. The love of his life. What was that? He had once told Kurt before that he was a little bit in love with him. But to come out and tell everyone that he was in love with Kurt? Was it a cry for attention? Was it away to draw more out of this than there needed to be? Or was Blaine serious?

Kurt quickly dialed Blaines phone number, feeling like he had to do something. This wasnt going to be easy for Blaine, and there was no way he could go through it alone. More than likely, he had done this because Kurt had pushed him away. Coming out was Kurts fault. It was something he so desperately wanted Blaine to do, not to hurt Blaine, but because Blaine was drowning in his own pool of secrets. Coming out might take a load off his shoulders, but it still wasnt going to be easy for him.

The call went to voicemail and Kurt left a message. "Blaine," he choked out, feeling sick to his stomach. "Blaine, please, please, call me. We need to talk."