He felt like a  deer in headlights. Cameras flashed, causing him to squint against the light. Drops of rain fell down his face. His heart was pounding so fast, he couldnt hear anything around him.

Blue eyes. All he could focus on were those blue eyes. They were full of a passion he had never seen before. They were more important than anything else there.

"Blaine," Rachel hissed in his ear. She nudged him with her elbow.

He was brought back to his senses. Blaine blinked quickly, nervously glancing around him. People were everywhere. Some people stared, others had cameras, and some walked by without a care in the world. But it was the boy in front of him that made him feel dizzy. He didnt know how to handle Kurt in a crowd like this.

"What the hell?" he mumbled between gritted teeth.

"I... Im sorry," Kurt whispered.  He stepped toward Blaine. 

"Get away from me,"  Blaine gave him a shove, sending Kurt stumbling backward.

"Blaine," Kurt said, tears forming in his eyes. 

Shaking, anger racked his body. His heart pounding quickly, he had to bite his tongue. He was so afraid that he might say something hed regret. They couldnt have this argument here in front of everyone.

"We should move," Rachel gave his hand a tug. "People are staring."

Blaine followed Rachel, leaving Kurt standing alone. They climbed in the back of a cab and Blaine glanced back out the window to find Kurt. He stood there, dumbfounded. When someone tapped on his shoulder, he jumped and began walking away. He headed down the sidewalk, and Blaines cab pulled away.

His head was spinning. His thoughts were jumbled. A loud knocking sound came on the door, and Blaine groggily pulled himself off the bed to get the door, tripping over the contents on the floor from the previous night: His suit from the night before, scattered tissues, and several bottles.

"What?" he grumbled, swinging the door open.

"We need to talk," Kurt came storming into his hotel room.

"Talk, not yell," Blaine said, covering his ears with his hands.

Kurt stepped in front of him, pulling Blaines hands down to his sides. "I dont care that you have a hangover right now. Were talking about this. Youre not going to avoid me now."

"How did you know what room I was in?" Blaine asked, picking up tissues off the floor.

"Rachel," Kurt sat on the edge of the bed, crossing his legs. "Speaking of Rachel, when were you two going to tell me that you were pretending to date for the public?"

"its not like we were keeping it a secret," Blaine shrugged, tossing the tissues in the trash. "We just discussed it the week of your finals, and you werent really talking to either of us. It never came up, you know? Its promotion for the show. Its not like i have feelings for her. You dont have a reason to be jealous."

"Im not jealous," Kurt spat. "Im just angry that you would sink so low."

"its not like I have a lot of choices, Kurt," Blaine raised his voice. "I told you I wanted to squash any rumors that were flying around, and thanks to you, those rumors have only gotten worse."

"I said I was sorry," Kurt said quietly.

"Sorry? Youre sorry?" Blaine yelled, slowly approaching him. "What? Was it an accident? You didnt mean to get in a cab, come all the way over to where we were, and kiss me in front of all those people. You knew that was the last thing I needed."

"I swear to you, Blaine, it wasnt what I planned to do," Kurt stood up, tears running down his cheeks. "I was upset that you lied about Rachel. My roommate left me feeling terrible because he kissed me. All I wanted was to be near you... I got there, and I saw you with Rachel, and I obviously still had Elliot on my mind, and I just needed you to know that I wanted you. Only you. I dont want obstacles in our way. I just want you, and the kiss just happened."

"He kissed you?" Blaine said, his stomach dropping.

"Yes, Blaine. He kissed me, and it made me realize how much I wanted you," Kurt crossed his arms over his chest.

"that doesnt make it right for you to kiss me in public like that. Do you have any idea how much trouble this is going to cause me?" Blaine asked. He couldnt give in to Kurt. He didnt know how to comfort him. He wasnt even sure he could comfort him when he was so angry about what he did. "This isnt like coming out to your parents, and  believe me, I know how hard that is. This is a lot bigger than that. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is going to know. You know, a lot of people arent going to be kind about it. "

"You think lying about Rachel will make people like you better?" Kurt snapped.

"I dont know!" Blaine threw his hands up in frustration. "I dont know how to handle this honestly, because Ive always been so good at hiding from the media. They dont know anything."

"Maybe this is your chance to tell people the truth. Youre never going to be happy if you keep lying about who you are," Kurt wiped the tears from his eyes. 

"So you did mean to do this," Blaine said. "Was that your intention?"

"No!" Kurt replied. "I never meant to out you like this, Blaine. I would never out anyone. I spent half my high school career terrified of a kid, because I couldnt out him. If I cant do that to someone who wanted to hurt me, why would I do that to someone I care about?"

"But now you want me to use this to come clean," Blaine said coldly, narrowing his eyebrows.

Im saying that, you have a chance to straighten rumors out the right way. You dont have ot hide," Kurt said.

"II dont need people to know who I am," Blaine backed away from him, his hands shaking. "Thats why I keep my life private. You think I want everyone in my business? I dont need people worrying about what Im doing."

"You were willing to tell them you were dating Rachel!" Kurt argued. "Thats still telling people your business."

That doesnt matter!" Blaine yelled. "This isnt easy for me, Kurt. You might have had it easy, but you didnt have to come out to hundreds of people. You only had your dad."

"it wasnt easy for me," Kurt said, his voice growing louder. Eyes burned with anger, Kurt moved closer. "Its never easy for anyone, and Im not telling you to do anything. I just dont see why you have to lie and tell them youre dating anyone at all? How do you think that makes me feel, Blaine? I felt so close to you the night before, only to have you pull that stunt without telling me."

"Youre not my boyfriend!" Blaine shouted, pulling at his hair in frustration. "Weve said a hundred times that this isnt a commitment. I dont have to tell you anything! I can do whatever the hell I want without your permission."

"You dont have to tell me anything. Ive told you that a hundred times," Kurt retorted. "I just thought you were different, Blaine. I was disappointed, because I thought you had changed. I was angry, because I didnt need Elliot or Rachel in my way, because I want you. Yes, it was wrong of me to kiss you in front of everyone, but I told you I was sorry"

"That doesnt make it okay," Blaine said shortly. 

"I know it doesnt," Kurt sighed, placing his hands on his hips. "None of this is okay. I told you before that I never want to hurt you, and Im so sorry for causing you any pain."

"Ill bet you are," Blaine mumbled. He wasnt convinced. This was bigger than a simple apology. 

"I will do anything I can to make up for this," Kurt said, grabbing his arm. "Please, Blaine. Please."

It wasnt enough. Kurt had caused some serious damage. This wasnt going to blow over in a day. It would take a lot of control to settle this down, and Blaine would have to be the one to deal with this. 

"This isnt going to get resolved with an apology," Blaine hissed, swinging the door open. .

"Can we just talk about this?" Kurt pleaded.

"Get out," Blaine told him, holding the door open with his foot. "Were done here, Kurt."

"Please," Kurt whispered.

"Get out," Blaine scowled. As much as he didnt want to be in this situation again, pushing Kurt away, Blaine had to. 

Taking Blaines hand, Kurt gave it a gentle squeeze. He stepped closer to Blaine. His blue eyes were begging Blaine to give him a chance. "You cant push me away in times of trouble. We have to work through this together."

"We dont have to work through anything," Blaine snarled

Kurt was inches from his face. He was breathing heavily. "Dont push me away. Let me in, Blaine." Kurt leaned in to kiss him, and Blaine ;s hnad reacted before his mind did.

He smacked Kurt across the cheek, causing him to stumble into the wall behind him. Kurts hand came to his face, cupping his cheek. His deep blue eyes were full of a fear Blaine had never seen before. Tears brimmed in his eyes again and he choked out, "maybe youre not the person I thought you were," and he stormed out without a glance back.

Blaine slammed the door behind him. Sinking to the floor, he buried his face in his hands.

I did a terrible thing.

After the tears had run dry and Blaines stock of alcohol had been wiped clean, he sent the text message to Cooper, hoping for a better solution. Nothing else would make this go away.

Blaine, are you being a drama queen again?

Cooper had replied moments later. He wasnt taking this seriously, and it made Blaine want to chuck his phone across the room. His brother promised hed be there for him. Why wasnt he taking Blaines drama seriously?

Im coming back to LA. Now. Please have drinks ready when I get there.

Blaine boarded the next flight to Los Angeles out of JFK. The thought of spending any more time in the city made his heart hurt. He couldnt be that close to Kurt without wanting to run to his apartment and tell him he was sorry. Yes, he was still angry about the whole thing, and he wanted Kurt to know that. Blaine had crossed a line. It wasnt something he meant to do. Anger had consumed him and it just happened before he had time to think. Blaine couldnt get the image of Kurts horrified face out of his head.

He spent a majority of the flight back to Los Angeles staring out the window. His chest ached too much with the longing to be near Kurt. He had disappointed Kurt, and that was the last thing Blaine wanted to do. e wasnt sure he could live with the consequences of that, no matter how angry with Kurt he was.  

"Your crisis isnt even that long after the last, and I still feel like I have a hundred things to catch up on," Cooper sighed heavily, leading Blaine into his apartment the following evening.

"I hit him, Coop," Blaine said quickly, tears forming in his eyes. "I didnt mean to but with all the drama - "

"Slow down," Cooper settled down in the couch next to him. "Take a deep breath and tell me everything."

So Blaine did. He told Cooper all about how close he had gotten with Kurt since their last encounter. He told him about his deal with Rachel, and how it backfired in his face. His story concluded with his fight with Kurt, and he bowed his head in shame.

"Maybe you do need a drink," Cooper said, when Blaine had finished. He went over to the fridge and pulled out two beers . He handed one to his brother and said, "only because i love you so much."

"Should I lay low for a while?" Blaine asked.

"That depends on how the public is taking your situation. Kurt is a whole different matter, but you do still have to deal with the media." He pulled out his laptop and got online.

"I refuse to look up what others are saying about me on social media. Its toxic," Blaine tried pushing the computer away.

"This is a delicate situation, and I think you need to know what youre up against," Cooper informed him.

Everything they read online only put Blaine in a worse mood. Negative comments flooded the articles,  blogs and the tweets. It was toxic. Fans were either claiming that Blaine had been hiding a secret relationship. Some suspected that Kurt was the Beach Boy, as they were now calling him. Other fans argued that Kurt was some lunatic that had no business walking up to Blaine and kissing him. It caused a lot of arguments between the fans, and Blaine didnt know what to do.

Head in hands, he sighed, "this is a mess."

"You know something, Blaine/?" Cooper set his laptop aside. "Im pretty sure Kurt knows how big of a mess he made."

"What do you want me to do? Act like this is okay? He outed me in front of everyone, Cooper! What part of that is okay? He told me the night before that he was willing to take things slow for me. He lied to me!" Blaines voice grew louder. He slammed in his fist on the arm of the couch and Cooper stared at him.

"Did he tell you why he did this?" Cooper asked calmly.

"I dont know. He said he was upset and it just happened," Blaine shook his head. "But come on, how do you accidentally do something that extreme? He knew what he was doing."

"He knew what he was doing, yes," Cooper sighed. "I dont think hell feel good about what he did though. If he cares about you, like I think he does, hell feel guilty about it."

"What do I do?" Blaine asked, defeated. 

"Talk to him. Dont argue with him. Do not hit him again. Talk to him," Cooper placed an arm around his shoulder. "Tell him how you really feel, because my guess is that this is bigger than just the kiss. This situation is going to impact him, not as much as it will impact you, but he could probably use your forgiveness."

"Its not - "

"Real feelings surface when you actually talk," Cooper interrupted. "I know youre not ready to forgive him, but I dont think either of you can handle the thought of losing one another. He makes you happy, Blaine. You cant let that go."

"Okay," Blaine nodded. He picked up his phone and dialed Kurts number, feeling his stomach flip. He wasnt thrilled about doing this, but he knew his brother was right:. As much as he wanted Kurt to realize how wrong he was, Blaine didnt want to lose Kurt over this. And after Blaine hit him, Kurt wasnt going to make the first move.

The call went to voicemail. Blaines heart skipped a beat at the sound of Kurts voice.  He quickly hung up, feeling stupid. He couldnt do this. He still had too much anger to do this. 

"Can I stay here with you?" he asked Cooper, feeling like he couldnt go home to an empty apartment.

A smile spread across Coopers face and he said, "I would love that."

Staying with Cooper proved to be a smart choice. Blaine felt like he would have gone crazy in his apartment alone. He had resorted to sitting on the couch in front of the television for days. Miserable, he didnt have the energy to do anything. He had no desire to emerge into the world, to face his problem. At least his brother could take care of him.

"I didnt know you could grow facial hair," Cooper said, handing Blaine a cup of coffee the following Saturday.

"Shut up," Blaine mumbled, his hand automatically feeling the scruff on his chin..

"Blaine," Cooper said slowly.

"What?"

"You need to get off my couch," Cooper said firmly.

"But - "

"Oh, I dont want to hear excuses," Cooper replied. "You can act angry all you want, but I know it bothers you that Kurt never called. Ive seen you reading comments about all of this online. Sooner of later, youre gonna have to face this."

"I just dont know if I can," Blaine set the cup down on the table in front of him. "Thanks to you, Ive been online more than once. Ive seen the things that people are saying. it makes me want to hide here longer."

"Its over. Its done. Nothing is going to change this, Blaine," Cooper said. "My television set isnt going to take your problems away. Sooner or later, you are gonna have to get your skinny little butt off this couch and face the music."

Blaines head snapped up. "What did you say?"

"I said, youre gonna have to face the music at some point," Cooper repeated.

"Yeah..." Blaine stood up and crossed the room."Youre right, Cooper." Still in his pajamas, Blaine went out to his car without another word. His brother gave him an idea...

"Hi," someone said quietly, placing their hand on his shoulder.

Blaine jumped, turning to see who it was. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"We need to talk," Rachel sat down across from him. She bit her lip nervously, folding her hands on the table. "Theres no point pretending you dont know what this is about."

"If its about Kurt, I dont want to hear it," Blaine held on to his cup tightly, not taking his eyes from it. He couldnt look at her, nor could he look at the number of people around the coffee shop. He felt so ashamed.

"Well, I need to talk about it," she sat forward. "Im really worried about him, Blaine."

He didnt reply. What could he say? He still felt guilty about hitting Kurt. He still felt angry about what Kurt did. And yet, he missed Kurt. His emotions were so mixed. He didnt know what to think.

"I spent three days in New York after Upfronts, and I couldnt get him him to talk to me. He never left the apartment. I was lucky Elliot even let me in. He wouldnt even use me to cry on my shoulder. He was so angry with me. Every time I tried talking to him, he just started yelling at me to leave him alone" She looked up at him for the first time. "Now I cant get him to answer his phone.... Its been days, Blaine, and I still havent heard from him."

"Have you asked Elliot about him?" he questioned, feeling slightly uneasy. The thought of Elliot being Kurts only comfort didnt settle well with him, especially knowing Elliot had feelings for him.

"He wont tell me anything," Rachel said quietly. "He just says hell have Kurt text me, or hes fine, theres nothing to worry about. He acts like nothing is wrong."

"Maybe Kurts over it," Blaine said, hoping it wasnt true. He hated knowing that Kurt was hurting, but he couldnt think of Kurt forgetting about him, acting like it didnt matter.

Rachel shook her head, "if he was fine, he would answer my phone calls."

"What do you want me to do about it?" he asked.

"I dont know," she shrugged. "I just wish I could get through to him. I feel like hes angry with me, because I had a part of this. I never should have agreed to date you."

"Is that your way of breaking up with me?" Blaine looked up at her. Rachels eyes were wide. She stared at him in hopelessness. 

"You cant pretend were still dating after all of this," she said. "Theres too much talk about you and Kurt. i think people know that you were using me. We might as well come clean."

"Wouldnt that just give them more reason to talk?" Blaine asked. He knew it was wrong. He knew Kurt would be upset, because he hated that Blaine was lying. What could he do? the thought of losing Rachel in the midst of the rumors wasnt going to help his case at all. At least if he had her, he could help hold his ground with the media.

"I cant do that to my best friend. I cant believe you would even consider it after what happened," rRachel narrowed her eyes at him. "You really are a selfish jerk, arent you?"

"I cant throw my pride away, like none of it matters," Blaine slammed his fist on the table. "You know I care about Kurt. I just cant let go that he did that to me."

Then you obviously dont know anything about caring for people," Rachel said, anger in her voice. "If you really cared about him, you would understand that people make mistakes, and sometimes thats all you can do in a tough situation. Yes, he hurt you, but he is only human. If hes sorry, that should be enough for you. Whether you like it or not, Kurt dragged himself into this situation too, and youd be better off going through it together instead of apart." 

With that, she stood up and stormed out of the coffee shop. The bell ringing behind her.

Blaine felt more confused than before. He still had a mess to clean up with the media,but Rachel was right: this mess was bigger than Blaine could handle alone. It didnt mean fixing things with Kurt, and it didnt mean breaking things off with him. But something had to be done.