Chapter 16
Songs Used in this Chapter:
Sara Bareilles – I Choose You
A Great Big World – This is the New Year

Blaine flounders to the couch in a dramatic drop, complete with an overturned palm across his eyes and a sigh to ruffle the waves off the shores of Japan.  “Is it smart to get a restraining order?  Just in case?” 

Kurt runs his fingers through his hair, seemingly messing it up and giving no less than two shits.  He takes a step to approach Blaine, but Blaine flinches.

“Shit, Kurt.  Come here, sorry.  I'm on edge.”  He leans up to grab at Kurt's waist and squeezes, pulling him down onto the couch.  Kurt falls virtually on top of him and Blaine snuggles into Kurt's collarbone, still hugging him from the side.  Kurt kisses his hair and lets his lips linger long enough for the message to be construed the correct way.  He drapes one arm over Blaine's shoulders and the other gets tangled with where Blaine's clasped his hands at Kurt's hip. 

“I'm sorry, B.”

“Shhhhhh.  We're done with him, okay?”

“Forever.”

“Let's discuss restraining orders.  I don't want you to get hurt if he decides to find you and do something crazy.”

“I don't think any of it will matter when we're in San Francisco.”

“What happened to our ‘we can make it for six months' optimism we had in Fort Wayne?”

“Oh, okay.  You were serious, then.”

“Guys.  Please, whatever you're planning on, please get a restraining order.  This dude knows you go to Berkeley.  He can easily figure out where you live and your schedule.  If Kurt's alone while you're at class…” Burt trails off.  He doesn't need to say it; it's better left unsaid. 

“No, Dad.  Blaine doesn't want me in San Francisco.  I'll be fine here in Lima for the rest of my life, where I am apparently destined to be.”  He breaks away, pushing Blaine off him so he can stand and ultimately head upstairs.

“Dammit.”  Blaine's words echo as Kurt disappears, huffing and puffing the whole way.  Blaine looks to Burt for help and when he can only shrug, Blaine scoffs.  “There is so much god damned drama and it all stems from all these fucking obstacles that are only put in our way to weaken us.  First my father, now Oliver…  I can't take it anymore.  When can we just live happily ever after?”  Poor Blaine is snapping; he can feel his branches bending in the wind.  His fingers are the leaves, grazing the ground until one bolt of lightning beats him to the punch, ruining everything, and suddenly he's forever broken.

“You can either let it eat you alive or grow from it, kid.  Now, you just worked for almost a year to get Kurt back in your life the way you've wanted him since you were seventeen.  Are you really going to let drama ruin that for you… again?”  Burt crosses the room and sits next to him.  “Kurt told me that he noticed that you matured a ton while you two were across the country.  Twenty-year-old Blaine might have let all of this get the best of him, but what about now?”

Why couldn't everyone's father be like Burt Hummel?

“I'm just giving him a minute before I go hug the hell out of him.”

Burt laughs, full on shaking his shoulders and slinging his head to and fro.  “Oh, Blaine.  He doesn't need a minute, not from you.  How have you not seen that you're his glue?”

“He's mine.  I love him.”

“The sky's blue.”

“He's gonna yell at me.”

“Give yourself some credit.  He'll be fine.”

“Of course I want him in California, but I didn't want to uproot his life if we decide to move again in six months.  I'm trying to make this whole thing easy for once and it's fucking backfiring.”

“So why are you sitting down here telling me?  Use your words, Anderson.”

Blaine can only look at his pseudo-dad before racing up the stairs, following in Kurt's footsteps.

The bedroom door is not closed, as if Kurt knows Blaine is going to follow him, but the bed is still ruffled and dirty from their time in it with Oliver.  Kurt is working diligently and frantically to remove the twisted sheets but it's proven rather difficult in the midst of his break down.  “Kurt?”

He looks up, almost like he's in a deep enough trance to not have recognized Blaine's voice.  His facial expression softens when they make eye contact, but he quickly goes back to ripping at the sheets, unfathomably attached to the mattress by some ungodly force of nature.  Blaine walks around to the affected corner and slips it off, thus sending Kurt (still pulling at full force) stumbling backward and slamming into the wall.  He effortlessly slides down against the sheetrock, tainting his body with stains of dried come and life lived within sin as he buries his face in the dirty sheets wrapped tightly around his wrists.  He whispers, “Oh God.  Fucking failure.”

“Kurt.”  Blaine throws his hands up and allows them to crash back down on his thighs.  “Want me to list the ways you've succeeded in your life?  Loving me the way you keep telling me I deserve.  Literally sharing your family with me when I had no one else to turn to.  Introducing me to all of your friends when I didn't have anyone to call my own.  Escaping Eddie and Oliver and high school and Ohio.  Educating yourself on things you wanted to know about.  Remember how you said… do you remember that morning I was getting ready to go to court and you said that I was Santana's success story?  You're wrong.  I'm your success story.”

“Everyone else ruined me, ruined my whole life and how I think about myself.”

“How could you say that, baby?  I like to think that your life is better than it could have been because of us.  You changed me for the better… you changed my life, Kurt, and I'm not about to let the drama drown us when we've survived it so many times before.  Don't you know what that means?  We are a force to be reckoned with and I fucking dare anyone to stop us.  You're the only good in my life, pretty, and I won't stand for you constantly blaming yourself for the obstacles we have to fight over together.  That's just… life.  You need to stop wallowing in all the negativity and just… be with me.”

Kurt lifts his head by way of reaction and stares at Blaine, heavily panting and hovering over him.

“I'm not going to stop you from moving to be with me if that's what you want.  I was just trying to save you the hassle because I don't know where we'll be after I graduate and I don't want to expect that you'll just… follow me anywhere.  You are…”  He kneels down in front of Kurt and cups his hands on his lover's cheeks.  “The bed in San Francisco is so empty without you, Kurt.  You can come back to California with me; I am so onboard with that idea.  But please, we can handle it if you decide to live here for a while, and honestly for your own sanity, I think that's what you should do.  We can do long distance for a while and then we can laugh about it for the next seventy years.  You need time to recoup, I think, and this could be perfect.  Yeah?”  He pulls at the neck of Kurt's shirt so he can molest his mouth for only a few seconds before he jumps back up.

“Now, let me help you with the laundry because the sooner it gets in there, the sooner we can go to sleep.”  Blaine gently pries the sheets and comforter from Kurt's grasp and balls it up.  He stuffs it all into the otherwise empty laundry basket and looks back to Kurt who's still lolled against the wall on the floor.  “You're the strongest person I know, and I know you may be having a lot of mixed feelings about this breakup with Oliver, because you're a good person, and maybe you're as scared as I am to be apart from one another the next few months, but I promise you that this time, everything is going to be alright.  We can get through this.  For now, though, the least you can do is get up and come help me with this laundry, pretty.  Get up here.”  He tucks the flimsy basket under his left arm and holds out his right to help Kurt up. 

“Tough love.”  Kurt takes his hand and launches himself up.

“Whatever kind of love that will stop you from blaming yourself for stuff that would have happened anyway.”  Blaine drops the laundry basket to the side of his feet and pulls Kurt in for a massive bear hug, their hipbones meeting first and each body rolling up until their chests are also connected.  “I would take ten thousand throws down the stairs and forty billion broken and bruised ribs to be allowed to call you mine.  You understand?”

“I would, too.”

“I know you would, but I would never make you do that.  Not to sound really inconsiderate or anything, but I wish sometimes that I had never met you but only because then I could have spared all of that pain and hate from your life and I want to shelter you the best way I know how because no one deserves what you went through for me, and especially you.”

“Not all of it.  I love you, B.”

Blaine knows; he'll always know, now.  He bends to pick the laundry back up and pushes Kurt in front of him to lead the way to the laundry room.  “I know you do, and I love you too.  Always.”

They stand in the middle of the laundry room downstairs, adhered to each other from the inside out, and when the end of the cycle startles them both a half hour later, they switch to the dryer and continue to wait, wordlessly but fearlessly as though they're right at the cusp of a new beginning.

xK&Bx

At some point, Kurt breaks the uninspiring thoughts swirling around in his head.  Eyes focusing on the counter-clockwise motion of the sheets drying in front of him, he vocalizes his opinion on what should come next. 

“You should go back to San Francisco alone.”

He watches as Blaine looks up from his phone.

“Kurt.  I didn't mean to shake your confidence in us.”  He takes Kurt's hand between both of his.  “You would really like it out there.  Golden Gate Park is my favorite place and it'd be even better with you.  I'm just saying that it would be such a hassle to be there for a few months.  What if we hate it out there together?  You've already moved for me once, and I'm trying to remain unselfish.  As much as I want you out there, I want you to make your own decisions about your life.”

“My decision doesn't really have much to do with your earlier suggestion, honey.  I need to be by myself for a while, physically anyway.  You were right.”  As the words spew out of his mouth, he can't find it in his heart to believe them.  This has everything to do with the fact that Blaine obviously doesn't want him in San Francisco.  Although the realization stings, six months is a lot shorter than two years apart.  They'll survive it; they have to.  There's no longer an option in the matter.

“Are you sure?”

When Kurt pointedly doesn't bite on a reply, Blaine continues.  “I'll miss you, you know.  It's going to be really hard to know we're together and away from each other.  We've never done that before.”

“First time for everything.  We'll be fine.  We don't have a choice this time.  Right?”

“You are correct, boyfriend.”  Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt's waist and tugs him in close.  They stay there together, listening to the run-around of the sheets getting all sorts of tangled in the dryer.  “You know, we don't have to stand here and wait.  Let's go watch TV or something.”

“We only have a few days left together, wanna stay connected to you.”

“Wanky.”

Kurt peels his cheek off Blaine's shoulder to look him in the eye.  “You're not allowed to hang out with Santana anymore.”

“Don't worry.  I live across the country.  It'll soon resort back to phone calls once a week.”

Kurt's face falls.  “It won't be that way for us, will it?”

“Baby, no.  I'm going to be on the phone with you every second I get.  And we'll Skype, and I'll come home as much as I can.  You must know you're different than Santana, right?”

“I keep second-guessing all of this.”

“Us?”

“Just that we should spend some time apart.”

Kurt allows Blaine to lead him into the living room and onto the couch.  “I might be gone for a few weeks at a time, but I promise I'm always be with you.  We're gonna survive this just like we survived everything else, okay?”

“We hardly survived the one thing, B.”

“But we're here, aren't we?”

“I'm sorry I made you wait.  I'm sorry I didn't pick up on who Oliver was.  I'm sorry I fucked you over and tried to keep everyone happy.  I'm sorry I'm so fucked up.”  Kurt inhales. 

“It's okay, pretty.  Don't beat yourself up over it.  I should have realized it all sooner.  I should have called you out.”  Blaine leans in and presses his lips to Kurt's ever so lightly; he's kissing away the pain.  “Normal has never been our thing, has it?”

Kurt allows himself to smile and rolls his eyes.  “I'll miss you.”

“I have a question for you.”

“What?”

“When our kids ask us how long we've been together, what should we say?  I mean, I don't even know our anniversary.”

Kurt laughs; he's not sure how he keeps falling deeper in love with Blaine.  At some point, he has to stop, right? “Let's have two anniversary months.  September and December.”

“My birthday and your birthday.”

“We got together on your birthday the first time, and I like to think we were together on my birthday this time.”

“Deal.  Love you, pretty.”

“Mmmmm, you better.  It's all that keeps me going.”

xK&Bx

The next few days pass quickly.  It's like they pick up right where they left off and for a few hours at a time, Kurt hardly remembers Blaine has to leave again so soon and for so long, or that he was ever gone.

The Friday before Blaine goes back to school is spent at the Lima Bean as the days are preceding it; Julie is still not back from her tropical vacation, so Kurt and Blaine throw themselves back into the routine of how life used to be in Ohio. 

There are take-out dinners from Breadstix, Blaine's refusal to wear his uniform the right way, and endless cups of coffee and croissants.  After a few days, they rearrange the schedule so that Blaine and Kurt are the only two employees to close and as soon as the door is locked, they bring back other routines from the early days too. 

xK&Bx

Blaine watches Kurt shake his hips a little too dramatically as he walks to the front door and locks it with a flick of a wrist.  His body stays facing the door but he looks over his shoulder with a smirk on his face.  To Blaine, it all feels like the beginning of an incredibly cheesy porno.  He laughs.

“Stop that, Kurt.  It's too much.  It's not authentic.  Cut!”

“Stop what?  Do you know where this is headed?”

“The health department is going to shut your ass down.  They are going to come in here with a damn clipboard one morning and find my come streaked across the counter.  And then what, huh?  Kurt, it's not even seven o'clock.  Is it even legal to close without letting anyone know?”

Kurt only shrugs.

Blaine shakes his head and grins at Kurt.  “Okay.  Whatever.  You better hope those assholes don't have a black light though.  I hear the fines for being less than sterile are pretty hefty and I'm all out of cash to pay for our sexual escapades.”

“You never paid-”

“My budget is zero, Hummel.”

Kurt looks beautiful as he turns and approaches Blaine again.  The moonlight bounces off his hair, producing shooting stars in the shape of a halo.  Blaine tilts his head, crooked on its axis, as he watches Kurt come back to him.  He reaches out his hands and pulls him close as soon as he's within reach. 

Kurt molests his face, licking the inside of his cheeks as he wraps his arms around Blaine's neck and crosses his wrists.  “Your budget for sex is zero?”  Kurt's lips brush against Blaine's with every word.

“Uh huh.”

“What if I told you that I became a prostitute while we were broken up?”

Blaine laughs and kisses him again, this time with more power behind his lips.  “You didn't.”

“But what if I did?  My pimp bought me these gold spandex shorts and a mesh shirt and he throws me out on the corner for hours at a time.”  Kurt pulls away and looks Blaine in the eye, a glint of a smile right beneath his skin.  “It's a very lucrative business, B.”  He winks.

Blaine subconsciously licks his lips at the thought of Kurt's legs on display like that.  “You wouldn't charge me for it.  Not when I've already had you in every position I would ever want.”

“Are you saying I don't have a price tag?  I'm just a worthless hooker at your disposal for the hour you've paid for?”

“Priceless.  There's not enough money in the world.”

“Awww.”

“Yeah, awww.”  Blaine mocks Kurt's voice and grins.  “There are several fifties coming your way so long you make me come quickly and efficiently.”

“God, Blaine.”

“You started it.”  He steps back, taking in Kurt's body all over again.  “I can't believe you're mine.”  He starts to strip his apron and shirt off, throwing them aside.  He unbuttons his jeans and looks up to Kurt with hooded eyes. 

Kurt smiles and strips his own shirt and folds it over a chair.  “Are you…”

“Only if you want to.”  Blaine approaches him again and hugs him tight; they're chest-to-chest and it's a feeling that he'll never get used to.  Skin to skin with Kurt will always be a life-altering experience.

I am not scared of the elements
I am under-prepared, but I am willing
And even better, I get to be the other half of you

Kurt squirms to get out of Blaine's hold, leading them both over to the countertop.  “Sit.”

“Kurt, that's even more dirty than-”

“Get up there.”  Kurt steps into Blaine's personal space and curves his hands around Blaine's hips as Blaine launches himself up onto the counter.  Kurt pulls Blaine's shoes off, one at a time, and then slips his pants down and off as well.

It all happens so quickly.  Kurt has ripped off Blaine's boxers and inserted two fingers into his asshole, all within a matter of seconds.  It's urgent, needy, stressful to be seated and taller than Kurt as he writhes against the counter in an effort to produce the best angle.  He's leaning completely on the balls of his wrists and it's becoming painful to support one hundred and thirty-five pounds of himself.  Each thrust in and rotation and pull out burns less in time as he gets used to Kurt's new pace.  It feels dirty, like he's just some toy for Kurt today, and he's already so close to being done with two fingers inside.  When Kurt scissors, he hits Blaine's prostate and stays on it with an intense pressure.  Kurt's fingernail feels like it's going to puncture the little, black balloon inside of him so much so that just the thought of it unexpectedly puts Blaine over the edge.  He groans and his elbows give out until he's lying flat on his back, his shoulders and head fallen backwards and upside down inches away from the side of the espresso machine.

He stays right where he is, counting the tiles on the ceiling until he can breathe normally again.  He picks his head up and leans up on his elbows just in time to catch a glimpse of the top of Kurt's head before he slouches under the counter and captures Blaine's nearly soft cock in his mouth.  “Ungggg, Kurt.”  He's so sensitive and he's sure that Kurt Hummel is going to be the death of him.

Kurt doesn't let up, mercilessly sucking on Blaine's cock.  Kurt inserts his tongue into the slit as if he's rimming it and Blaine thrashes his legs and kicks his feet until his Achilles' heel feels broken and raw against the slab of wood beneath the counter.  “Kurt, please.  I can't.”

Kurt backs off and takes his cock in his hands, jerking it off without any tenderness whatsoever.  It's like some kinky force replaces the gentle touch of Kurt's fingers. 

“Kurt.  Fuck, shit!  Kurt!  Go gentle, you're breaking me.”

Kurt looks up at him and slows his pace, still clearly with determination to get him hard again.  It seems to be working, now more than ever, as Kurt lightens his grip and thrives only from the love behind the act and not so much the act itself. 

When he's fully hard again, Blaine sits up and stares at Kurt.  “Pretty?  Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.  Why?”

“Are you serious?  You were two seconds from ripping my cock off and having it for dinner.”

“Want you for dinner.  Come down here and turn over.”  Kurt tugs at his wrists until he's flailing, flying off the counter and catching himself over his feet to stop from tripping and busting a lip on the floor.  Kurt turns him and pushes the back of his head until he's kissing the countertop.  He takes Blaine's wrists and ties them together with Blaine's very own apron so they rest above his head, stretched out and strained across the surface.

Kurt slams in three fingers to shamelessly plug Blaine's hole then wiggles them so Blaine can absolutely feel it.  Although Blaine's body is reacting in a way that is to be expected, he's growing his worry almost to a point of it being visible because Kurt is clearly out of control and too rough right now.  He turns his neck so his cheek is resting on the freezing granite and swallows.

“Kurt.”  He goes to straighten his body but it's then that he realizes he's tied around each ankle with honest-to-God rope, adhering him to the bakery case and espresso machine.  He thrashes his hands, and they are virtually immobile, having been hooked around something under the counter.  “Kurt, stop.  Wait, I don't want…” He thrashes his limbs again, trying desperately to grasp Kurt's attention.  “Kurt!”

Kurt steps back then mimics Blaine's stance, but lying his left cheek on the counter so he can face Blaine.  “Hi.”

“Babe, I need you to let me go.  I don't think we should-”

Kurt kisses him on the nose and smiles.  “I love you. You look so…”

“Me too, of course… me too but Kurt…”

“I want you to feel it.  Want you to feel me for days.”

“I can do that without my legs being-”

“Then maybe you won't want to leave me.  We can stay here and fuck and make out like teenagers, and run a business together.  Like the good ol' days.” 

“That's what this is about?  Pretty, baby… come on, untie me.”

“You don't want me?”

“Of course I… Kurt!  God dammit, fucking untie me now!”  He hysterically pulls on the ropes and apron as if he has the power to make them disintegrate.  “Fucking shit, Hummel.  Let me go.” 

Kurt kneels down to Blaine's left foot and stills it by holding his ankle.  He unties it quickly then unties the right one. 

Blaine explodes upright and pulls on his wrists until Kurt unties them properly.  “What the hell, Kurt?  You need to ask before you make someone completely useless.  What the fuck is your problem?  Jesus.”  He finds his jeans and hops into them, wobbly and crooked.  He cards through his hair and stares at Kurt.  “What were you thinking?”

“Nothing, forget it.”  Kurt throws his clothes back on and rushes to the back office.

Blaine watches him disappear, gives himself exactly sixty seconds to calm down, then traces Kurt's footsteps to his desk.

He wants to be mad beyond belief at his boyfriend but when he peeks inside the office, the scene in front of him is pitiful.  “Kurt?”  His heart breaks in a million tiny pieces when he witnesses Kurt's sobs into his elbow.  He looks thoroughly fucked, although they didn't get that far, and his face is splotchy and red.  “So pretty when you cry.”  He kneels down in front of Kurt and guides Kurt's hands away from his face.  “Please talk to me.”

“There's nothing to say, I fucked up.”

“Kurt.  Baby, we said that we'd work on our communication this time around.  Didn't we?  What was that about?  That was a little extreme for us, don't you think?  Is that something you want to explore more?”

“I just want to be remembered.”

“Remembered?  Remembered by who?”

“By you, you idiot!  You have all these… boys that you can call whenever you want in California, and I just want to be at the top of the list!  So when you go home and fuck them, you will still think of me.”

Blaine extends his neck in disbelief.  “You're kidding.”  He stares at Kurt, who's staring back at him, and he realizes it's not a joke.  “Kurt.  Oh God, Kurt.”  He stands up and leans over to hug Kurt tightly; it's a simple hug that showcases the fact that Blaine will never leave Kurt alone again, at least emotionally.  “Babe, the only reason why I ever started going out and seeking other men like that was because I couldn't have you.  We were broken up…” Blaine pulls Kurt up so he's standing.  “Are we officially boyfriends, Kurt?  Isn't that something we agreed on already?”

“Yeah.  We are.”  Kurt looks to his shoes.

“Then why would I go back to San Francisco and cheat on you?  That part of my life is over because I have you.  Do you get that?”

“Am I going to be enough for you?  I don't want to sit here and wonder.”

“I always wonder if I'm gonna be enough for you and it usually ends with me realizing that you wouldn't stick around if you didn't want me, right?  Am I enough for you?”

“You are.  You'll always be.”

“I wouldn't be here trying to convince you of all of this if I didn't want you Kurt, or if you weren't enough.  Actually, I feel like I don't even deserve half of you.  It hurts, how much I love you.”

“Blaine.”  Kurt pulls back and goes to gather his things.  Clearly, they're leaving now.  “We have to get to Friday night dinner.”

“Want me to drive?”

“Yeah.”  Kurt inhales and looks at Blaine.  “I'm so sorry.  Such an idiot.”

“Hey, we talked about it.  Now, we're fine.  See?  Communication!”  Blaine holds out his hand for Kurt to take.  “I know we have to go now and all, but maybe later we can discuss these things in further detail.  It's been a while since you've been in therapy.  Should we think of finding someone in Ohio now that you're staying here a while?”

Kurt takes his hand, leading them both outside to the car.  “I've been playing with that idea lately.  I'll do some real research when you go back to school.” 

Blaine can only nod; he will be here for Kurt regardless of what happens.  He's clearly not mentally stable and Blaine will see to it that he finds himself in a better place.

In ten minutes flat, Blaine is already shutting the engine off and turning to look at Kurt.  “Kurt.  Since you're thorough in your, um… prepping efforts.  Will you do something about it?  After dinner?”

“You leave tomorrow; of course I'm going to send you off properly.  If you'll have me.”  Kurt smiles but it falls quickly.  “I'm sorry again, about before.  I know you say it's no big deal because we've talked about it, but I shouldn't have tried to use you like that, just for my own satisfaction.  I'll make it up to you later?”

Blaine chews on his bottom lip and smiles around it.  “Love you.”  He gets out of the car and waits for Kurt to join him before he starts walking up the path.

xK&Bx

They sneak up on Burt and Carole, working seamlessly on dinner in silence.  Burt is putting all his might into the mashed potatoes, enough to feed an army, and Carole stares as though she's looking through the George Foreman grill, lifting the cover every few seconds to reveal half-cooked meat kabobs.

“Oh my God, that smells so good.”  Blaine disconnects from Kurt and kisses Carole on the cheek.  “Kurt keeps feeding me croissants and honestly, I just can't live off of that.”

“You had no problem in high school.”

“I am a grown man now, pretty!  I need meat; I'm a carnivore.”

Burt pauses taking out his frustration on potatoes to turn around and stare with his jaw open.  Kurt mimics the same face, except with a smirk, and Blaine blinks.

“What?”

Kurt smiles.  “You need meat, B?”

“You two are so fucking gay.”  Burt is grinning and shakes his head before he's gone back to the potatoes.   

“Whatever.  These are things we already knew.”  Blaine crosses the room with an eye roll and starts to gather dishes and sodas to put on the table.

Kurt sits at the table, if only to act as a human obstacle Blaine needs to work around to place the settings.  “Dad, can I stick around for a few more months?”

“No, Carole and I were just discussing how much we hate having you around.”  Burt rolls his eyes.  “Of course, kid.  But what about New York?”

“New York is toxic.”  Blaine and Kurt say it together and so in sync, like it's a rehearsed answer to a question they get every day. 

“New York was just a place I stayed put in because I figured Blaine still knew I was there.  Then that first year passed and I moved out of the condo because of Santana and the rest is history.”

“You lived in the condo for a year?”

“I figured you'd come back to me if you still knew my address.”

“Oh, Hummel.  I would have come back for you regardless.  I was just convinced you never wanted to see me again.”  Blaine kisses Kurt's hair as he passes with a plate and goes to get a few glasses.  “We have lots to communicate about later.  Without the parentals pretending they're not listening.”  He smiles at Kurt and nudges at Carole's hip as he passes her and sits next to Kurt, sliding the cups to the general vicinity they belong in.

“We're just big fans.”  Burt says, by way of excuse.

“Huge fans.  Number one fans.”  Carole giggles and transfers the kabobs to a serving plate.  “Dinner is served, my boys.”

xK&Bx

“You'll call as soon as you get back?”

“Hey.  This is only temporary, okay?  I'll see you next month and then Spring Break and then graduation.  That's it.”  Blaine kisses Kurt's cheek, smiling into it.  He's so much stronger than Kurt is; this is a conclusion Kurt has come to.  And Kurt knows that it would be best for him to stay here and take some time to himself.  He has a laundry list of things he needs to do; the very first thing he'll do after he's wiped his tears is find a new therapist.

Kurt watches Blaine shift into Carole's arms.  She whispers something that is inaudible but causes Blaine to laugh and squeeze around her middle tighter.  He watches as his boyfriend shuffles down the line into Burt's arms next.  Their hug is silent but meaningful and it warms Kurt's heart that his family is Blaine's family, people that will surely treat him right for the rest of his life.  He's happy that their family is full of people they can easily trust.  Burt hastily wipes his eye when he loses contact with Blaine.  They remind him to call once he gets to California, and with one last wave they're back inside the house. 

Kurt's busy kicking up the dirt that separates the grass and the asphalt of the driveway.  It's a brisk twelve degrees outside, and the black car Blaine ordered is idling in the street, a driver with a three-piece suit holding the door to the back seat wide open.  He's patient, Kurt realizes.  He's paid hourly.  They could take the rest of the afternoon saying goodbye for all the driver cares.

“You're sure you don't want me to drive you?”

“So you can swerve into another lane because you can't see through your tears on the highway?  No way, pretty boy.  I'm fine.”

“Okay.”  Kurt really can't argue with that.  He probably would crash from lack of sight due to tear fall, and he wouldn't even be sorry.

“Six weeks.  That's nothing compared to two years, right?”

“I know.”  Kurt shifts his head so he can look at his beautiful Blaine, engraving his face, indenting his brain with every detail.  “Six weeks, then.  Call me when you're settled.”

“Don't find any gorgeous, sarcastic, broken teenagers at the Lima Bean before Valentine's Day.  Okay?  You can't save them all, pretty boy.”

Kurt laughs through his tears.  He says the words; he certainly doesn't mean them.  “I hate you.”

“Good, because I hate you just as much.”  Blaine grins and brushes the back of his hand up and down Kurt's folded arm.

“Good.”

“I'll be back before you know it.  We'll Skype daily and text all the time.  You'll be just as annoyed as when I'm in your face all the time.  I promise.”

“You need to go, baby.” 

Blaine captures Kurt's body into a giant hug and they're communicating without words now.  Kurt leans back and kisses him goodbye.

“Love you, B.”

Blaine smiles and starts descending backward toward the driver and the car, but still facing Kurt.  He's walking backwards, Kurt realizes, to the rest of his life without him.  “I love you too.  Six weeks.”

Kurt smiles and hugs into himself, watching Blaine turn around and nod to the driver.  He gets into the car and rolls down the window as the driver gets situated.  Kurt doesn't feel his feet moving, he only feels the pressure against his own lips as he selfishly steals another kiss from Blaine.  The car is pushed into gear, their lips separate, and the car slowly disappears from Kurt's vantage point.

Cuz in the end we have each other
And that's at least one thing worth living for
And I would give the world to you.

xK&Bx

Blaine thinks back to Lima only a few hours ago, the tears under his skin as he turned to leave his one and only love right there in his driveway, only so he could selfishly go back to a world of loneliness and despair without everything he's ever wanted back in California.  His final semester starts up on Tuesday, so at least he has a few days to get used to life without Kurt before he needs to get situated into a routine again.

He stayed as strong as possible for Kurt during their goodbyes.  He'd rather be there next to Kurt wherever he decides, but he's confident that he'll wait.  Kurt will wait. 

He sits on the corner of his bed, staring at the wall and eventually focusing on the single framed photo placed there years ago on his dresser, serving as motivation to regain happiness at some point in his new life, scared and alone yet together. 

Blaine's aware that finding Kurt's suicide letter over Thanksgiving break changes everything, for the level of how he feels about Kurt.  It changes Blaine entirely.  He feels the need, now more than ever, to shelter Kurt from any storm that may be brewed up over his head.  He feels it's necessary to keep them apart for these few months so Kurt can learn to be himself again.

He flops down on his bed without changing or unpacking.  He can deal with it all tomorrow.  Head pounding from the pressure of his tears, he knows he needs rest.  He closes his eyes by hell or high water.

After only a few minutes of trying to sleep, Blaine reaches for his phone.  He dials the most familiar number he has and waits for Kurt to pick up all the way from Lima.

xK&Bx

It's late in Ohio, three full hours ahead of Pacific Standard Time.  This may be the hardest part about having a boyfriend in California; the end of Blaine's day is the middle of the night for Kurt.  He's been trying to fall asleep for hours at this point, so when his phone starts buzzing, Kurt doesn't hesitate to answer it.  He knows exactly who it must be.

“Blaine.”

“Hey.  Were you sleeping?”

“No, I'm in the middle of a bad case of insomnia.  What time is it?”

“Like four, your time.”

“Ugh.  I'm never letting Julie leave ever again.”

“No use going to sleep, huh?  Leave early and nap once new kid gets there.”

“That's definitely the plan.”  It wasn't until Blaine said it, but Kurt already can't wait to nap this afternoon.

“I miss you, pretty.”

Kurt laughs.  “Shit.  I wasn't going to say it because it's so pathetic to miss each other after seven hours or whatever.  We're so pathetic, B.”

“I'd rather be pathetic with you than miserable without.”

“Barf.”  Kurt grins into the phone.  He makes fun of Blaine for his cheesy, romantic lines all the time, but he secretly adores it.  He'd never admit that to anyone.  “I'll bet you have spray cheese projectile vomiting out of your nose or something.  Don't you?”

“Awww, you got me.  That's why I'm so disgusting with the way I love you.”

“That cheese is all preservatives.  Get rid of it now.  No more carbs!”

“I don't love you so much anymore, Kurt.”

“I hate you, too.  How was your flight?”

“Eh, fine.  I was sad you weren't with me, but I know that you should be there.  I was thinking you come here for my Spring Break instead of me going there?  We can go to wine country or the beach, maybe go see Coop.”

“I love that idea.  When is it?”

“I don't know.  I'll find out, but probably late March.”

“And you're still coming here for Valentine's?”

“I told you.  Lavender roses or whatever the fuck.  I'll be there.”

They talk about absolutely nothing for the next forty-five minutes and Kurt watches as the black sky turns into subsequent shades of grey then pink.  It's not quite a sunrise, it's too early, but it'll do for now.  Soon they hang up to go their separate ways, remaining together every step of the way.