Oct. 21, 2011, 5:31 p.m.
Things I Cannot Change: Rosaries and Hormones
M - Words: 2,693 - Last Updated: Oct 21, 2011 Story: Complete - Chapters: 20/20 - Created: Sep 16, 2011 - Updated: Oct 21, 2011 22,446 0 24 0 2
The Christian life is about relationships, not performance.
-Neil Franks, Pastor, First Baptist Church, Branson, MO.
Kurt walks out of the Christian bookstore in town, bag in hand, and stands next to his car to wait for Blaine to finish making his purchases. He honestly never thought he would step foot in a store such as this but, well, Blaine had sparked quite a few changes in Kurt’s life.
After their last heartfelt conversation almost a month ago, Kurt had often found himself deep in thought. He knows Blaine didn’t mean that Kurt hadn’t done anything for him. In fact, Kurt knows he had been the catalyst in Blaine’s world, upending everything he thought he knew, showing him another side of life he’d never even considered. He had caused some drastic changes. Whether those changes were for the better, well, that has yet to be determined. If nothing else, they had discovered love.
However, Blaine had been quite right when it came to the tangible things in their relationship. Upon reflection, Kurt had seen his mistakes. He had seen times he had taken things for granted or completely overlooked Blaine’s opinions in certain situations. So for the past couple of weeks, he has been doing everything in his power to rectify his mistakes. They only went for coffee every other day now and on the days they didn’t, they’d usually go to their special spot by their favorite field and take turns reading to each other or simply talking about anything that popped into their minds.
Kurt even attended the pot luck lunch after the most recent Sunday service held at the church with Blaine and his family. He mingled with the congregation and joined in on conversations. Blaine had stayed by his side the entire time, of course. It hadn’t been his idea of a fantastic Sunday afternoon, but it hadn’t been horrible either and Kurt knows that church is a large part of Blaine’s life.
And Kurt will do anything it takes to be a part of Blaine’s life.
“Sorry it took me so long,” Blaine says, rushing over to Kurt by the car. “My mom’s birthday is in a couple of weeks so I got her a new Bible cover sleeve thing.”
“It’s okay,” Kurt smiles, setting his own bag from the store on the hood of his car. “I bought you something.”
“You – what?” Blaine asks blankly.
“Mhmm.” Kurt reaches into the bag and pulls out a square little box. “Here. I don’t know…much about anything when it comes to this stuff, but I thought this was really pretty.”
Blaine accepts the box with surprise etched plainly on his face.
“You didn’t have to-”
“I know I didn’t,” Kurt interrupts. “But I wanted to.”
Lifting the lid off the small box, Blaine peers inside to see what it holds.
And then he bites his lips together to keep from smiling, eyes filling with light.
“It – you’re right, it is very pretty,” Blaine says, obviously attempting to hold back his laughter.
From within the box, Blaine pulls out…a rosary. The string of prayer beads is comprised of small, glittering blue stones on a silver chain.
“…Why do you look so amused?” Kurt wonders.
“Well,” Blaine begins, smile growing on his face, “rosaries aren’t…exactly in line with the Baptist tradition.”
“What do you mean?”
“They’re generally a Catholic thing,” Blaine explains. “Other Christian denominations like um, Lutherans, I think - I could be wrong, though - they sometimes use rosaries. And other denominations use things similar but…well, let’s just say Baptists don’t.”
“Oh,” Kurt says flatly, eyeing the rosary. “I can take it back if you-”
“No, no,” Blaine says hurriedly. “You’re right, it’s really pretty.”
“I didn’t even know what it was for until I read the description in the store,” Kurt says. “You don’t have to keep it if it’s not something you’ll use.”
“I won’t use it,” Blaine says, “but I can hang it somewhere my parents won’t see. I love the color of the beads.”
“Well, luckily I got you something else, then,” Kurt says, reaching into the bag on the hood of the car. “You’ll probably get more use out of it.”
Blaine replaces the rosary back inside its box and drops it in his own bag before accepting Kurt’s second gift. It looks to be a plain, black book. The only bit of design anywhere on the cover is a small, gold cross etched on the upper right hand corner on the front.
“It’s a journal,” Kurt explains. “I don’t know if you ever got yourself a new one. But I figure this one looks a bit…more inconspicuous than the one you had before. Um, considering it was red and said ‘My Journal’ on the front. I think this one draws a little less attention to itself.”
“It’s lovely,” Blaine says softly, thumb brushing over the little cross on the cover. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Kurt blushes as he watches Blaine place the journal reverently in his shopping bag.
“I didn’t get you anything,” Blaine says, looking embarrassed. “I just – I know it’s not your thing, and I didn’t want you to think-”
“Don’t worry about it,” Kurt says genuinely. He unlocks his car and holds the door open for Blaine. “In you get.”
It’s Blaine’s turn to blush as he climbs into the passenger seat.
“Why do you look so nervous?” Blaine asks a couple days later as Kurt approaches him at his locker.
Kurt twists his fingers, wringing his hands while avoiding Blaine’s eyes. He doesn’t know how well this is going to go over but he can’t not ask. He doesn’t want to fight. He’s hoping, though, that they’ve come far enough that Blaine will accept the invitation.
“I know that you said you weren’t ready to meet my dad,” Kurt begins, “so I don’t know if you’ll want to but…well, Finn kind of organized this get together at our house. It’s for all the Glee kids,” he rushes to say.
“Like…a party?” Blaine asks.
“Sort of. But the um, the kind that doesn’t have alcohol. He asked dad and Carole about it last night. It’d just be all of us in Glee and it’ll mostly consist of pizza, an overdose on sugary sweet soda, watching musicals, and it’ll probably end with Rachel singing every single song from the movies very, very loudly. The thing is, like, my dad and Carole are going out on a date night thing and they won’t be back until late. So they’ll be there when everyone gets there and when they get home, well I guess that’s when everyone will leave.”
“Sounds like fun,” Blaine says.
When Kurt finally has the courage to look at Blaine’s face, he can see that he’s actually smiling.
“So…you’ll come?” Kurt asks hopefully.
“Of course I’ll come,” Blaine says. “I’ll have to ask my parents first, but if there’s no alcohol involved, I don’t see why I can’t go.”
“Right. Great. Good, I mean. It might end up lame, I don’t know. Rachel’s probably going to take over the whole thing and Puck might eat all the pizza but-”
“It won’t be lame,” Blaine says, taking a tiny step closer.
Blaine’s so close that Kurt can smell his cologne and if he reached out just a tiny, tiny bit, he could touch Blaine’s arm. That would be okay, wouldn’t it? Touching his arm isn’t really affectionate, not really. They’re just friends that, you know, touch each other’s arms. It doesn’t have to mean anything more, not here in the hallway where everyone can see them. Blaine looks really good in that shirt. And in those jeans. He looks really good. He smells really good.
“…Kurt?”
Snapping out of his own thoughts, Kurt blinks quickly and stares into Blaine’s face again.
Staring at Blaine’s face is much safer than staring at that tiny bit of skin peeking out from underneath his shirt, just above his belt.
Oh god.
“Kurt?” Blaine asks again. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” Kurt says right away. “I’m sorry, I zoned out. What were you saying?”
“I was just wondering what day the party is and when it starts,” Blaine repeats.
“Oh. Friday,” Kurt tells him. “Friday at six.”
“Do you need anyone to help you set up or clean or anything?” Blaine wonders.
The question itself draws Kurt’s eyes away from Blaine’s neck where the tendon looks like it could use a soft, proper kiss. He didn’t expect Blaine to want to arrive before everyone else, considering his dad and Carole probably wouldn’t leave until after six and not too long ago, Blaine would have done anything to avoid meeting Kurt’s dad.
“Well, I mean it probably won’t take much setting up or-”
“Kurt,” Blaine says, voice going soft. “I’m inviting myself over early under the guise of helping you set up so I can meet your father in an informal setting.”
Oh.
Right.
“Oh. W-well yeah, then sure. Yeah, I can use a little help with setting up. Finn probably won’t want to help with a damn thing, anyway.”
Friday evening rolls around and while Kurt waits for Blaine to arrive, he busies himself by rearranging his facial products on top of his vanity.
Blaine wants to meet his dad.
He wants to meet his dad.
Kurt hadn’t thought Blaine was ready to meet his dad yet, not after their discussion a little while ago. Sure, they’d come quite a long way in balancing their relationship, doing things the other person likes to do, taking an interest in a shared life instead of living two separate ones. But he still didn’t think Blaine was ready to take this step.
He hadn’t lied to Blaine when he said that Burt Hummel knew nothing of the nature of their friendship. Kurt’s dad knows nothing about the kisses they had shared a few months ago and he has no idea that Kurt’s totally in love with Blaine or vice versa. Kurt has only told his dad a few things about Blaine; one, that he’s basically Kurt’s best friend and they spend quite a lot of time together and two, that Blaine’s a Christian and Kurt occasionally accompanies him to church in order to broaden his knowledge regarding theological doctrine. While Burt had been a little confused by Kurt attending church in the first place, Kurt had eased his fears by saying that Blaine knows about Kurt’s sexuality and that Blaine would never allow him around people that might bash him.
To be honest, his father hadn’t said anything else about Blaine. He hadn’t asked any other questions. To anyone else, it’s perfectly clear that Kurt and Blaine are just friends.
Kurt knows that Blaine has no reason to be nervous about meeting his dad.
So why is Kurt nervous?
The doorbell rings and Kurt darts up the stairs and out of his basement bedroom. He doesn’t know why he ran. His dad didn’t even try to answer the door first.
“Hey,” Blaine greets with a bright grin when Kurt opens the door.
“Hi,” Kurt says breathlessly.
Oh shit. Blaine looks really good tonight. Okay, he looks good every day but now he’s dressed in a black, v-neck t-shirt that’s just a tiny bit tight and a pair of perfectly fitted, light colored jeans. His pretty, silver cross hangs delicately in the V of his shirt and Kurt catches a glimpse of dark chest hair.
Kurt gulps. He’s trying to be good, really he is. He’s trying to be patient and they’re doing really well in the trust and honesty department. But Kurt’s still a teenage boy. He can’t help it that he has hormones.
“Can I…come in?” Blaine asks.
“Right. Yes. Come in,” Kurt says, stepping aside and allowing Blaine to walk past him.
Oh god, his butt looks way too good in those jeans.
Blaine may be his Heaven, but at the moment, Kurt feels like he’s in hell.
“You have a really nice house,” Blaine remarks, taking in all of the knickknacks in the hallway as they make their way into the living room.
“Thanks,” Kurt says.
It’s funny because Kurt has been to the Anderson household a handful of times and he’s met Blaine parents more times than that. Blaine’s been to his house to drop Kurt off or pick him up, but he’s never actually been inside. In the early days of their friendship, Kurt had been rather hesitant to invite Blaine over because he could never predict whether his family would make a remark on his sexuality and he didn’t want Blaine to find out about him that way.
They’ve come so far.
“Kurt, honey, which – oh! Hello!”
Carole bustles into the living room, two mismatched earrings in her ears. She smiles broadly, reaching out a hand.
“You must be Blaine,” she says happily. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”
“It’s nice to meet you too, ma’am,” Blaine replies, shaking her hand.
Looking impressed, Carole nods. “I like him. He’s polite, you should bring this one around more often.”
“Noted,” Kurt says. “And I’d go with the gold ones,” he gestures to the earring as he speaks. “They really glitter against your skin tone.”
“You’re an angel,” she sighs, rushing back into the master bedroom.
“She seems sweet,” Blaine comments.
“She’s fantastic,” Kurt agrees, leading Blaine toward the kitchen. “There’s not much to set up, really. I figure we can just dig through the pantry and the fridge and put out any and all junk food. No one really appreciates my health – oh. Hi dad.”
Burt Hummel leans against the kitchen counter, digging through a bag of potato chips.
“Carole kicked me out of the bedroom,” he explains gruffly. “I dunno why, it’s not like I’ve never seen her get ready.”
“She just wants to surprise you by looking very nice,” Kurt says, snatching the bag of chips out of his father’s hand. “And you’re about to leave to go eat dinner.”
“I’m pre-gaming,” Burt says defensively.
“Dad, this is Blaine,” Kurt says, introducing his friend who still stands in the doorway. “Blaine, this is my father.”
“It’s – it’s nice to meet you, Mr. Hummel,” Blaine says.
Kurt can visibly see Blaine muster up the courage to walk toward his father and hold out his hand.
“You too, kid,” Burt says, shaking Blaine’s hand firmly. “Nice of you to help Kurt set up for this shindig.”
“Oh, it’s not a problem at all, sir,” Blaine says quickly.
“Sir?” Burt says, lifting his eyebrows. He looks to Kurt. “Where’d you find this one?”
“I hired him, of course,” Kurt says with a roll of his eyes. “Perfect-Respectable-Young-Men.com”
“Sounds about right. I’m gonna see if there’s a game on,” Burt says. “I’m trusting you both to make sure that no one breaks anything. And tell Finn, too. Where the hell is he?”
“Picking up the pizzas,” Kurt says, rooting through a cabinet. “And I think he’s bringing Artie over.”
“Gotcha. Well, we’ll probably leave before he gets back. If Carole hurries,” Burt mumbles, walking out of the room.
Kurt snorts and drops an enormous bag of pretzels on the kitchen counter.
“Your dad’s really nice,” Blaine says softly, leaning against the counter next to Kurt. “I’m sorry that I didn’t – I mean I’m sorry that I never-”
“Hey,” Kurt whispers, placing a hand on Blaine’s shoulder. “It’s okay.”
Blaine nods and drops his head.
Kurt wishes he could kiss his worry lines away.
Comments
Kurt thinks he's getting cockblocked by Jesus. CHOKING. Kurt, KISS HIM (AGAIN) YOU FOOL.
Loved this chapter! And your description of the next one sounds AMAZING!
Awesome chapter!! :) Kurt thinks he's being cockblocked by Jesus.....oh my I want this chapter. xD
THIS IS SO SWEET!!!! Papa Hummel was so nice, I actually imagine him just like that!! Let's see how this party will end, hun? :) xxxx
OMG! A Jesus cockblock. I can't fucking wait. I think you should make bracelets... WWJC (Who Would Jesus Cockblock?). Seriously, Klaine is too hot for even Jesus to cockblock... I'm just sure Jesus wants these two boys together... please make it happen soon! Yeah religious smut!!!
LAJDF9AWUIJRFSAIOLD,VJADSF I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CRY OVER THE FACT THAT JESUS IS A COCKBLOCK. BUT YOU'RE KILLING ME OVER HERE JAMIE. KILLING ME. -xoxo
oh my god. even though you are an amazing amazing amazing fantastical writer - SO. MUCH. COCKBLOCKING. hahaha xD You're so good at writing Blaine all sexy that it's getting ME all hot and bothered! More. Soon. Please. Yay! :D
Another nice chapter. I am really enjoying this story! Your characterizations are perfect. Having gone to a Baptist high school, I can really relate to this story, although my parents were much more liberal than Blaine's are here. Please continue!
OHMYGOD THIS IS SO CUTE!!! And I don't know why but my reflex is to picture Blaine as like a 12-year-old. And then I remember that he's 17-year-old Darren Criss and everything becomes much hotter. But seriously, I love this. A lot.
It was a sweet chapter, but then I read your end notes and I can't stop laughing. "Kurt thinks he's getting cockblocked by Jesus." hahahaha
I made an account just to complement you on your note at the end of this chapter about Jesus being a cockblock. It seriously made my day (: thank you so much! this story is awesome!
Oh my god, so "cockblocked by Jesus". I immediately thought of the Finn and Quinn scene in the pilot when they're making out and Quinn's like "LET'S PRAY". Just imagine it, Kurt and Blaine making out and then Blaine being like "LET'S PRAY." LOLZ. But at any rate, this is a beautiful story, as is everything you write, and I always jump up and down whenever you put up a new chapter or a new story.
Kurt thinks her's getting cockblocked by Jesus. And I die from laughter in 3...2...1...
PARTY PARTY PARTY. Can't wait for the next ch :3 I keep this open on my comp at all times waiting for an update. I love it so much!
Aww they've come so far since the first chapter. Both Kurt and Blaine were so sweet and adorable in this chapter. I can't wait for the next update! Oh, and getting cockblocked by Jesus, that made me laugh.
Awwww! I just want to hug both of them and pinch their cherubic little faces -- you're making their relationship so beautiful.
Have I ever told you that I love you?
I can't tell you how much I love this fic :)
I really liked this chapter (especially the rosary error, because that is completely realistic for someone who is not familiar with the various Christian denominations), but the end notes at the end were hilarious. The last sentence-- priceless! :)
haha cockblocked by Jesus. lol
Yay Blaine!
another great chapter
I think this line just made me die: Also, Kurt thinks he's getting cockblocked by Jesus. (I'm totally reading this in one sitting and avoiding sleep like a boss)
Haha cockblocked by Jesus. Kurt makes me laugh when he stares at Blaine and thinks about his ass and stuff Poor Kurt. Blaine just needs to snap out of it and get some ;)