As it had turned out, Rachel wasn’t particularly keen on the idea of a double date at the bowling alley. She had wanted Finn for herself for an evening, and even though Kurt had been ecstatic about not having to wear such hideous shoes or touching germ-infested bowling balls, he had worried about Finn.

It had been pointless worry, apparently, because currently those two are attached at the hip. Even though Rachel sort of resents Kurt for the way he had treated Mercedes, and subsequently the entire Glee club, Kurt’s still gay and that alone makes Rachel Berry feel as if they have some sort of connection due to her gay dads. Kurt becomes used to her somewhat grating voice and her toddler outfits. Of course, she and Blaine generally get along like a house on fire because Blaine’s the silent, listening type and Rachel’s the loud, here’s-my-life-story type.

And she complimented Blaine’s bowtie one day, the one Kurt had given him, and that had made Kurt smile.

The other Cheerios don’t mention the sudden friendship between the unlikely four. At least, not to Kurt’s face. They don’t say anything at all to his face, really. Kurt has become the black sheep of the squad and while it does sting in a painful, betrayed sort of way, he’s more angered than anything else. Practices are tense and awkward. Football games are long and almost feel like torture when you don’t have anyone to laugh with.

When football season ends, Kurt’s never been more thankful for seasonal sports.

“You’re a million miles away, aren’t you?”

Kurt turns his head on his pillow, glancing at Blaine who is currently seated at Kurt’s desk, looking through an old photo album with his glasses barely still perched on the tip of his nose.

“Just thinking about how glad I am that football season’s over,” Kurt replies.

Blaine doesn’t say anything at first. Instead, he gently closes the cover to the photo album and climbs onto the bed as well, nestling his small, gelled head in the crook of Kurt’s shoulder.

“I’m glad it’s over, too,” he finally whispers, nuzzling his nose against Kurt’s neck. Kurt can feel the cool press of his glasses against his skin. “You stopped looking happy at the games I came to.”

Kissing the top of Blaine’s head, Kurt pulls him closer. He’s warm. He’s familiar. His body and his presence are both a comfort to him now.

“It’s hard to be part of a team when no one talks to you.”

“That one blonde girl still talks to you,” Blaine reasons.

“Brittany?” Kurt wonders. “She just asked how old Rachel was because apparently she always thought she was a five year old in an adult body.”

“That’s…different,” Blaine says lamely.

“That’s Brittany.”

“Hmm,” Blaine hums. “Well how are things going with Mercedes?”

“There’s nothing going with Mercedes,” Kurt informs. “She hasn’t talked to me since that one day.”

“Well, have you tried talking to her?”

Kurt sighs heavily, rubbing at his forehead like the entire conversation is exhausting to him. “There’s nothing I can say to her,” he reminds. “I hurt her. I alienated her. I was cruel to her. Not all friendships can be saved.”

“People forgive,” Blaine says softly. “Sometimes it takes time, but it can still happen.”

“Not everyone deserves to be forgiven.”

“Kurt-”

“Just – just stop,” Kurt says, extricating himself from Blaine’s hold and sitting up on his bed. “You weren’t here for the worst part of it, Blaine. Yeah, I was an ass to you for a while. But mostly I just ignored you, the same way I ignored everybody else who had their books thrown to the ground or got shoved around in the halls. But I didn’t always ignore it. I used to be the one doing it. I was the one that walked by and called someone a fat ass under my breath. I was the one that left an open bottle of water in some poor kid’s backpack so that, when they put it on and started walking, the water spilled out down the back of their pants and made it look like they pissed themselves. I was the one that spread rumors. Last year, I’d have been knocking your books onto the floor. And I would have done it with a smile.”

Silence greets Kurt’s admission. Kurt hangs his head, thinking back to the look on Marcy Buchanan’s face when she realized how wet her pants were. He remembers the tears in Bryan Dawson’s eyes when Kurt had thrown all of his textbooks into the smelliest dumpster he could find. He remembers the fact that Kristin Nichols had transferred schools after Kurt started the rumor that she had herpes after she let a homeless man from some other town take her virginity.

Kurt feels Blaine’s warm hand settle on his back. He feels ill. Neither Blaine’s support nor his forgiveness will ever erase the fact that Kurt is a bad person.

“Everyone does something they wish they hadn’t,” Blaine tells him. “Everyone can be an idiot when they’re young. Everyone makes mistakes. But it takes a great person to admit they’ve done wrong. And it takes an even greater person to try and make things better.”

The noise that bubbles up in Kurt’s throat almost sounds like a frustrated growl.

“There’s nothing I can say to make things better with Mercedes,” Kurt states.

“So maybe you need to be proactive and do something to make things better.”

“I tried apologizing! I sent her texts and Facebook messages and I even wrote her a letter and left it in her locker.”

“And all those messages were just words,” Blaine states. “People can say whatever they want, Kurt. Words can lie. But don’t you remember how badly you wanted to prove to me that you had changed? Remember how you made a point to hold my hand in front of everyone or how you kissed me at that football game? Those were things you couldn’t lie about.”

“It – that was different.”

“Why?” Blaine asks. “Because you cared about me?”

“I just – I wanted to-”

“You showed me instead of told me.”

“But it’s not like I can hold her hand or kiss her,” Kurt says. “She’s not my girlfriend. Certain things are off limits.”

“Well…there is one thing you could try,” Blaine says slowly.

Kurt looks back over his shoulder, meeting Blaine’s eyes with suspicion. “What?”

“…You could always join Glee club. Again.”

Completely boggled at the suggestion, Kurt stares back at his boyfriend in horror before his body catches up with his brain and he leaps to his feet, leaving Blaine on the bed.

“No way,” Kurt says firmly. “No freakin’ way.”

“Why not?” Blaine asks, sitting up. “You still love to sing. You sing in the car all the time. And it’d be something big enough to show Mercedes that you’re serious about becoming friends again. It’ll show her that you’ve definitely changed.”

“Those kids are absolutely paranoid when it comes to sabotage, Blaine! They’d never even let me in! They’d think it was just some – I don’t know, some big scheme!”

“So I’ll join, too,” Blaine says with a shrug. “I’m not exactly threatening.”

“They hate me.”

“So it’s a way to apologize to everyone,” Blaine reasons. “Besides, we kind of already have Rachel on our side.”

“Rachel’s not the most reliable source for proof that I’m no longer a complete dick. She’s easily swayed when it comes to being close to popular people on her balls-to-the-wall power trip.”

“Kurt, stop making excuses,” Blaine says in frustration. “You know it’s the best option.”

“The best option isn’t always the wisest.”

“Stop,” Blaine says in a hard tone. “Just stop and think about it for a minute. Look, I know you like being a Cheerio. But at this point, it’s obviously because you like cheerleading, not necessarily because you like the people you cheer with. If you join Glee club, you could still have cheerleading, but you’d also be in a club where the people might actually talk to you and reconsider you as a friend. They seem a lot more kind-hearted.”

“Oh, they are. Definitely. But-”

“Kurt!” Blaine says angrily, waving his hands in front of him as if waving away the rest of Kurt’s argument. “I take up too much of your time. I love being around you, obviously, but too much of a good thing can sometimes cause it to go south. And Finn’s great, but he’s your brother and he has friends on his own. And Rachel’s…well, Rachel doesn’t really talk to you, she talks at you. You need friends that you can rely on because the people that called themselves your friends were obviously…not.”

“This is stupid,” Kurt mumbles, nerves fraying at the thought of throwing himself into the lion’s den. Sure, the people in Glee are more prone to forgiveness, but it would be absolutely awful the first few weeks. He’s only just become used to the idea that he’s a Cheerio in name only now. Why the hell would he willingly put himself in front of other people who he has repeatedly tormented in the past?

“You need friends,” Blaine tells him.

“Yeah, as if you know so much about friends,” Kurt says offhandedly.

It takes a few, strained seconds of quiet for Kurt to realize exactly what he had just said aloud.

He wishes he could throw himself down a set of stairs.

“Oh, god,” he whispers to himself in horror. “Blaine, I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Blaine says softly, though he avoids Kurt’s eyes as he stands and walks over to the spot on the floor where he had dropped his backpack. “But you did just prove my point.”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay, Kurt.”

“No, it’s not,” Kurt says, coming up to stand in front of Blaine. “I’m sorry.”

“Really,” Blaine says with conviction, giving Kurt’s hand a firm squeeze after he tugs on his backpack. “It’s fine.”

“Blaine-”

“I gotta get home,” Blaine tells him, dropping his hand. “I haven’t done very much studying lately.”

Kurt attempts a weak smile. “Your parents aren’t expecting you back until dinner,” he tries. “We could, you know, waste our time with things that are fun. Like kissing. Kissing is always nice.”

“Kissing is very nice,” Blaine agrees. “But I’m still me. And I still like to do my homework and read ahead for classes.”

“I know,” Kurt says, though he feels like he might have just screwed things up in a really awful way. “I do know that.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Blaine says, kissing Kurt’s cheek with something like finality.

“Call me before bed?”

“Always.”

Kurt watches Blaine disappear up the stairs that lead from his basement room. When he’s gone, Kurt flings himself down on his bed.

Great. Now he’s going to have to join Glee club. Because he has two people to apologize to.