The next morning at school, the girls are busy primping in the bathroom while Kurt tries to squash the ulcer of stress forming in his belly. With a quick glance to his left, he sees that Blaine hasn’t arrived yet. Kurt shoves his physics book into his locker, staring at the spine of it while simultaneously praying to every deity in existence, begging some omniscient force to please, please let this day go well.

“Heya, blue eyes,” a low voice drawls from behind.

“Hello, Sebastian,” Kurt replies, refusing to turn around.

“So I was thinking,” Sebastian continues and Kurt can pretty much hear the seductive smile forming on his lips, “you should ditch the pep rally today and we should find a dark storage closet somewhere. Cheer ourselves up, if you get my drift.”

“While the offer is appealing, I’m going to have to decline.”

Kurt slams his locker.

“What about after?” Sebastian presses, taking a step closer and settling his hands on Kurt’s hips, forcing Kurt to turn and face him. “We could-”

“I don’t want to have sex with you,” Kurt states as quietly as possible, eyes turning hard.

“I told you we could take it slow, doll.”

“I’m not your doll,” Kurt says sharply, prying Sebastian’s hands from his body.

“Someone’s pissy this morning.”

“If I’m pissy, it’s because I’m tired of being your go-to make out buddy.”

“Hey, if you want more than that, you could have just asked.”

“I – what?” Kurt pauses, shocked to hear Sebastian suggesting something besides sex.

“If you wanted me to suck you off, all you had to do was tell me,” Sebastian says, corners of his lips turning up into a smirk.

Kurt’s jaw drops. “Are you – are you serious?”

“Of course,” Sebastian says in an almost-growl, pressing his body against Kurt’s.

“No,” Kurt snaps, shoving him away. “I don’t want – that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“Then what?” Sebastian asks, looking genuinely confused.

“I want a relationship,” Kurt says flatly. “I don’t want-” he gestures between the two of them with his hands, “-this. I don’t want this.”

“Ah,” Sebastian says quietly, eyes alight with something dangerous. “One of those.”

“One of what?”

“I don’t do relationships. I only do relations.”

“Which is why I said no. Now please-”

“Relationships aren’t what you think they are, doll,” Sebastian says, placing his index finger to Kurt’s lips. “This is reality. This isn’t a movie. Things are messy and complicated. Relationships are complicated. Relations, however, those are fantastic. And we could-”

“I think he said NO.”

Both Sebastian and Kurt whip their heads around to see Blaine, tiny, bespectacled Blaine staring up at them with determined eyes and his hands gripping the shoulder straps of his heavy backpack.

Sebastian’s gaze travels the short length of Blaine’s small body, observing his features and his stature as if sizing up an opponent for a fight. After a few, strained moments, he bites his lower lip, attempting to keep his laughter from escaping and takes a step away from Kurt.

“I don’t believe I asked your opinion on the matter,” Sebastian says smoothly, making to step toward Blaine.

Kurt shoves an arm in front of him. “Just leave it, Sebastian. He’s right. I said no. Now leave.”

Lifting one curious eyebrow, Sebastian’s gaze turns back to Kurt, whose heart is thrumming wildly in his chest while something like dread creeps up into his throat.

“Fine,” Sebastian finally says with a forced smile. “That’s just fine. I’ll see you around, Kurt.”

Sebastian Smythe turns to walk away and out of Kurt’s life, but not before he shoves a single finger into Blaine’s forehead with just enough force to tip him backwards.

The sheer weight of Blaine’s heavy backpack on such a small frame takes care of the rest and he falls straight back, crashing to the floor without grace or dignity. Sebastian snorts as he continues down the hall.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re an asshole?” Kurt calls after him, immediately crouching down and offering Blaine his hand.

Sebastian offers a parting wave over his shoulder before turning a corner. Blaine’s warm hand slips into Kurt’s and he allows Kurt to pull him back to his feet.

“Thank you,” Blaine says shyly. Even though he ducks his head, Kurt can see the blush on his cheeks and he feels multiple pairs of eyes staring at them both.

“I’m trying,” Kurt whispers.

Blaine smiles. The bell rings. Kurt walks away.

To Kurt’s surprise, he actually understands the majority of the questions on his physics test. By lunch time, he’s feeling pretty great about himself. Sebastian’s not even in the cafeteria today and Kurt catches sight of Blaine sitting alone at a nearby table. Acting quickly, he sends Blaine a quick, simple text.

Just a smiley face.

Nothing more, nothing less.

But it feels like progress.

Until Santana drops into the seat next to him.

“When were you going to tell me?” she says accusingly.

“About what?” Kurt asks, feigning ignorance.

“About shooting down Sir Smythe of Fucking Gorgeous?”

Kurt shrugs, pocketing his phone. “It wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t think it deserved a general announcement.”

“Listen, Hummel, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there aren’t exactly that many guys at this school who are willing to line up and take it up the ass.”

“There’s no need to be crude, thank you.”

“I’m just saying,” Santana says, flipping her ponytail. “If you wanted to lose your V-card before you turned thirty, he was your best chance.”

“Unlike you, my life doesn’t revolve entirely around sex,” Kurt snaps.

“It should,” she tells him. “It’s like, the only thing worth living for in this miserable existence called high school.”

“Is it really that miserable for us?” Kurt asks her. “Tell me, is it?”

“…What are you talking about?”

“Is it miserable?” Kurt asks again. “We’re Cheerios. We rule this school. We’re…the elites. Everyone looks up to us. They want to be us. We’ve got the uniforms, the status, and the reputations. So what, precisely, makes it so miserable for you?”

Santana’s eyes cut across the table to Brittany, whose pretty eyes light up as she laughs loudly at something Sarah Grayson says. Almost as quickly as she had looked away, Santana looks back at Kurt.

“Whatever,” she bites, standing and striding out of the lunch room.