July 28, 2011, 12:06 a.m.
Swing Sets & Sandboxes: Boys Can Love Boys, Too
T - Words: 2,163 - Last Updated: Jul 28, 2011 Story: Complete - Chapters: 17/17 - Created: Jul 27, 2011 - Updated: Jul 28, 2011 13,137 0 6 0 1
After dinner, Kurt and his dad are sitting on the sofa. His dad takes off his baseball cap and suddenly the situation becomes very serious.
"Dad?" Kurt prompts.
"Just…okay," his dad begins. "Okay. You remember when your mom and I told you how babies are made?"
"Yeah…but what's that got to do with this?"
"I'll get there. Now, you remember me telling you that it takes a man and a woman to make a baby and that, well usually, the man and woman are in love and get married first?"
"Yeah, I remember."
His dad is toying with his baseball cap in his hands and Kurt thinks he's trying to figure out what to say. He doesn't know why his dad won't just tell him what the word means, that's all he wants to know.
"Kurt, men and women fall in love all the time. You know, how I loved your mom?"
"Yeah, I know," Kurt says, getting a bit sad with all this talk of his mother. He tries to ignore it though.
"Well…men and women aren't the only ones who can fall in love," his dad attempts to explain.
"What do you mean?" Kurt asks. "We're not gonna talk about like, dogs loving each other are we? 'Cause that's just weird."
"No," his dad shakes his head, laughing just a bit. "No, that's not what I'm talking about." Suddenly, his dad looks up at him with really big, really sad eyes and Kurt doesn't know why he looks at him like that. But he wants to know what the word means, so he listens anyway. "I'm talking about people. Of the same gender. People of the same gender fall in love too."
Kurt furrows his eyebrows and racks his brain to try and remember what genders means. "Oh, you mean…oh. Wait. So…a man and a man can love each other? And a woman can love another woman?"
"Exactly."
"Like, they love each other like a mom and a dad does? With um, romance and…uh…stuff like that? With kissing and stuff?"
"Yes," his dad nods. "Just like that."
Huh. Kurt has to sit and absorb that bit of information. For some reason, he suddenly thinks of a talk he and Blaine had years ago. The memory is vague and a bit hazy, but he remembers talking about a teddy bear having two dads.
"So, someone can have two dads then? Or two moms?"
"Yes. Usually same sex couples adopt or use a surrogate, which is-"
"Which is like borrowing another mom!" Kurt exclaims. Ha! He and Blaine had been right all this time!
"Uh…yeah, for the most part, just like that."
"So pretty much everybody can love everybody. A boy doesn't have to love another girl. He can love another boy?"
"It's…a bit more complicated. But yeah, that's basically it."
"Well, what makes it complicated?" To Kurt, it sounded rather simple.
"Um, well…you don't really get to choose whether you like boys or girls. It's just who you are, Kurt. If you like boys, then you like boys. If you like girls, you like girls."
"That doesn't sound all that complicated."
His dad makes a funny face. "Huh. Well, maybe not. But the thing is…Kurt, there are people in this world who don't think it's right. They don't think that boys should be allowed to like other boys. Same goes for girls."
"But…why? You said people don't get a choice. Why do people not like them when they can't even choose it?"
His dad's eyes go sort of sad again and now Kurt wishes he hadn't asked that particular question.
"Because people don't understand. Because people are mean. Because they think it's wrong for whatever reason they have. Either way, you're exactly right. They shouldn't dislike people for something they themselves don't get to choose. But there are people that don't think it's a choice. And those people say – say hateful things sometimes. The word…that word that someone called you…it's a rude word. It's a horrible word and they shouldn't have said it. The word is basically a bad name for people that like other people of the same gender. For someone who's gay."
Kurt sits there, trying to piece all of that together in his head. Okay, so gay meant that you liked someone who was the same gender as you. And the other word…was like name-calling for the word gay. Because it was rude. And his dad said they shouldn't have said it.
"So…they said that to me and Blaine…because they think – think we like each other? Like…they think we're gay? So they were being mean to us about it?" Kurt needs to understand.
His dad nods. "And they shouldn't have used it. Whoever it was probably picked it up from their parents. But Kurt," his dad says, holding on to both of Kurt's hands, "you need to know that – that there will always be people like that in this world. There will always be people who hate someone because of something that they don't understand. And you need to know that you should never, ever listen to the kinds of things they say because you're just fine the way you are. If you like girls, if you like boys, it doesn't matter. You're you and you need to always be yourself and try and ignore all the hateful comments."
"But…Blaine…we're not like that," Kurt says. "We're just really, really good friends."
"I know," his dad says slowly. "Some people don't understand your friendship with Blaine, but you know what? That's their problem. And it isn't yours. You and Blaine have been friends for a long time and I'm glad he's been there for you. So don't let people come between you."
"O-okay," Kurt says, a little shaken by the deep conviction in his dad's voice.
"I'll love you no matter what," his dad tells him.
"I – I love you too, dad," Kurt says softly.
His dad pulls him into a warm hug and Kurt feels really safe all of the sudden.
Kurt's thoughts are sort of troubled that night and he has to wonder if Blaine's parents told him what the word means or if Kurt was going to have to tell him. He didn't know if he could do that because he didn't think he could explain it as well as his dad did. And he didn't…he didn't want Blaine to be scared of him or something just because someone said that word.
Blaine was just his friend. They were super best friends, and they loved each other a lot because they were best friends.
But they didn't love each other like that.
When Kurt falls asleep that night, he falls asleep with the notion that life has just become a little bit more complicated than it was yesterday
"Did you ask your dad what the word meant?" Blaine asks him the next day as they stand on opposite sides of the merry go round at the park, spinning in lazy, slow circles. It's Saturday, but it's really early and there aren't any other kids around.
"Yeah," Kurt admits, hanging his head. "Did you ask your parents?"
"Yeah," Blaine says, kicking the ground to make sure they keep spinning.
"What'd they tell you it was?"
"A bad word for gay people," Blaine says.
"That's what my dad said too," Kurt tells him. "I don't know why they think we're…like that, though. I mean, we're just really good friends, you know? It's just the way we've always been."
Blaine looks up at him through dark eyelashes across from him on the merry go round. Kurt doesn't know what the look means, not really. It just looks like Blaine is thinking about him maybe or he's thinking about what to say next.
"Yeah," Blaine finally says. "Just the way we've always been."
Kurt shrugs and jumps off the merry go round, leaving Blaine to spin alone. He sits on a swing, the same one he saw Blaine sitting on when they were seven, that day they first met. Eventually Blaine follows and sits next to him.
"What if…I was?" Blaine asks quietly.
"What if you were what?"
"Like – like that. Gay. What if I liked…other boys instead of girls?"
Kurt shrugs his shoulders. "What do you mean, though?"
Blaine furrows his dark little brows in frustration, attempting find a better way to phrase his question.
"If I was…like that…if I was gay, would you – would you still be my friend?"
Kurt stops the slow movement of the swing and turns to look at the curly headed boy. "Of course I'd still be your friend. There's nothing in like, the whole world that would stop me from being your friend."
Blaine nods and hangs his head. "Thanks."
Kurt tilts his head to the side and takes Blaine in with his eyes. He looks nervous. He looks unhappy. And he's got that look on his face that means he's probably thinking hard about something, trying to figure out what to say next or if he should say anything at all.
"Do you think you are?" Kurt asks. "Gay, I mean?"
Blaine shrugs his narrow shoulders. "Dunno," he says. "What about you? What do you think you are?"
"I dunno either. I've never really thought about it. I mean, I've never really thought about boys or girls that way. Maybe I will some day, but I just don't know."
"Well…when you look at someone, have you ever thought about kissing them?" Blaine asks his friend quietly.
Kurt sees something like hope in Blaine's eyes in that moment. He pauses for a second and thinks about the question. His eyes dart quickly to Blaine's lips because well, yeah, lips are what you kiss with. And he realizes that…maybe he has thought about kissing.
"I guess," he says eventually. "I've thought about kissing, just like, in general. But I don't think I've ever thought about kissing another certain person."
Blaine nods his head. "Yeah."
"What about you? Have you ever thought about kissing someone?"
Kurt sees Blaine eyes move around, searching Kurt's face but he doesn't know exactly what he's looking for.
"No," Blaine says softly. "Not a certain person. Just in general, like you said."
Kurt reaches over and takes a hold of Blaine's warm hand. "We'll figure it out some day. Besides, it's not like our parents want us to date anyway. My dad once said he doesn't want me to date 'till I'm as old as him."
And Kurt's glad that Blaine laughs because Blaine's eyes looked a little too sad and reminded him way too much of that time he looked at that sandwich when they had their first tea party, the one he desperately wanted but was too afraid to ask for.
They don't talk about it again for a very long time.
When Kurt and Blaine are twelve, they enter junior high.
Everything changes.
On one hand, Kurt makes a new friend named Mercedes. She's a transfer student and they have the same history class and the same science class together. Kurt fell in love with a pair of shoes she wore on the first day of school and she complimented his sweater. Friendship born from good fashion sense was a good friendship in Kurt's eyes.
On the other hand, Blaine received some shocking news.
"We're moving," Blaine tells Kurt after school one day.
The tip of Kurt's pencil breaks on the paper he was writing on.
"What?" he breathes. "Wh-why?"
"My dad got a new job," Blaine explains. "We're…we're leaving after Christmas."
Kurt's heart plummets. No, no, this wasn't how it was supposed to be. They were supposed to be best friends all throughout junior high and into high school and maybe even when they went to college. They were supposed to hang out nearly every day, they were supposed to…
There were so many 'supposed to's'.
"But…where?" Kurt has to ask. Please don't let it be in another state, he's begging in his mind. Please.
"Maryland," Blaine answers.
"No," Kurt says softly.
Blaine nods his head slowly. "Yeah."
"But…but that's..."
"Really far away," Blaine finishes for him. "I know."
Kurt hangs his head. "I don't – I – I don't want you to go."
When Kurt looks up at his very best friend in the world, Blaine tackles him in a ferocious hug and they fall back onto the bed together, homework forgotten.
"I don't want to leave," Blaine whispers against his friend's shoulder. "I don't want to leave you, I don't. We were…it wasn't supposed to go like this."
"It's seriously going to suck," Kurt says, tears brimming in his blue eyes. Blaine's cuddled up next to him in the crook of his arm. They'd fallen asleep like this plenty of times before but right now he just wanted his best friend as close as possible. He winds his arms around Blaine and Blaine shifts upwards to press his forehead against Kurt's neck. Kurt can feel tears on Blaine's eyelashes. "What am I supposed to do when you leave?"
Blaine sniffles and shakes his head. "I don't know. But at least you've got Mercedes. And you'll be here with everyone we know. I've got to go to a new school and make new friends and…I don't want to make new friends."
"I don't want you to either," Kurt whispers. "I don't want you to forget about me."
"I won't," Blaine breathes against his skin. "I'll never forget you."
Blaine tightens his hold around Kurt's waist.
They cry together.
Comments
oO does Blaine already love Kurt as more than friends that so freckin adorable <3 yay you brought Mercedes in the story! as for the bad part no why is blaine moving!
Oh I wanna cry because of how much Blaine really loves Kurt, obviously really loves him and wants him but is too afraid of Kurt's reaction. He doesn't want to say anything because Kurt isn't quite there yet, and now he has to MOVE and now it gets TOUGH. Oh no.
awwww,boohoo great chapter
And now you've broken my heart =[ I love this story so, so much.
Sadness. T_T *Snuggles the boys* Loved the chapter. Really well done.
Omggg Why is he moving? I want to hug them and cry with them