July 28, 2011, 12:06 a.m.
Swing Sets & Sandboxes: Growing Up Happens Fast
T - Words: 2,808 - Last Updated: Jul 28, 2011 Story: Complete - Chapters: 17/17 - Created: Jul 27, 2011 - Updated: Jul 28, 2011 13,553 0 4 0 1
When Kurt and Blaine are ten years old, their friendship hits a small bump in the road.
"I thought we were always different together," Kurt says.
"We can still be like that," Blaine tells him. "Just because I like playing football and watching it on TV doesn't mean I'm not your best friend anymore."
"Football is dirty and it's dangerous," Kurt says. "I don't like that you like it."
"You don't have to like that I like it. But that doesn't mean you get to be mean about it."
"I'm not being mean. It's dumb."
"Your dad likes football," Blaine reminds him.
"Yeah but he's old and he's always liked football. Since, like, forever."
Blaine sighs and stands, making to walk out of Kurt's bedroom.
"Where are you going?" Kurt demands to know. "We were supposed to watch a movie!"
"I don't want to watch a movie with someone who's being mean to me about the things I like," Blaine snaps. "It's just one thing and you're just…ugh. I'm going home."
"Blaine, don't-"
"No. You don't get to say you're my best friend and they say bad stuff. I like football. It's fun and I like running around and it's cool to watch."
"It isn't cool," Kurt states. "It's boring."
Blaine gives Kurt this glare and then turns around. "I'll see you on Monday."
He leaves.
Kurt huffs and smashes his fist into the pillow in his lap. Why couldn't Blaine see that football was just another dumb sport that all the boys their age were into? It was just like soccer and baseball and stuff like that, stuff him and Blaine had never been interested in. Well, at least not until Blaine suddenly started watching football with his dad and then just now he was telling Kurt that he wanted to play football with some boys at recess on Monday if they'd let him.
He doesn't understand why Blaine is being like this.
Kurt stands up, throwing the pillow onto the ground. He storms out of his room and into the kitchen, pulling the refrigerator door open. He's not really looking for anything, though, he's just angry and he doesn't know what else to do.
"Why'd Blaine leave? I thought you two had plans to watch a movie," his dad comments from his seat at the kitchen table, a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal in front of him.
"We had a fight," Kurt says shortly, letting the refrigerator door close. "So he left."
"You two?" his dad asks in disbelief. "Over what?"
"None of your business," Kurt snaps.
"Hey," his dad says forcefully. "Calm down. You don't need to be like that to me. Sit down."
"I don't w-"
"Kurt. Sit."
Kurt gives a deep, put-upon sigh and seats himself across from his dad at the kitchen table. He's big now. He doesn't need his dad sticking his nose in his problems and stuff.
"Now what did you and Blaine fight about?"
Kurt shrugs and looks down at the table. He feels like he's in trouble.
"Stupid stuff," he mumbles.
"If it's stupid, you wouldn't be so mad. And he wouldn't have left. You two always talk your arguments out. Now spill."
Kurt leans back in his chair and sighs. "It's because of football."
His dad lifts an eyebrow in curiosity and takes another bite of his cereal. "What about it?"
"Blaine likes it. And he's never liked football before. But now he watches it with his dad and he wants to play football with the kids at recess and I don't like it."
"Why don't you like it?" his dad wonders. "Or actually, why do you not like him liking football?"
"Because I don't like football. And we've always liked the same stuff. Since like, before I can remember," Kurt says sadly.
"Hm. Well, aren't there things you like that he doesn't?"
"No," Kurt states.
"You sure?" his dad prods.
Kurt stops to think about the question because at first he really couldn't think of anything. They still liked craft things and they liked watching the same movies and they always found stuff to do if they were bored. They liked to build forts and they liked so run around and sing songs. But…
"Well I like clothes more. Like, I like dressing really nice and drawing clothes I wanna make some day. And he likes looking at the magazines and stuff with me but he's not like, super into it like I am. So I guess that's different."
"So there ya go," his dad says. "You like clothes and he likes football."
"But why?" Kurt wants to know. "I thought that since we were best friends we'd like the same stuff forever."
"That's just how growing up works, kiddo. You start to like different things and you're interested in new stuff you didn't know about before, even if your best friend doesn't like the same things," his dad explains. "That's what happens."
Kurt frowns and scrunches up his eyebrows. "But I don't like it. I don't want us to like different things."
"Are you mad at Blaine for not liking clothes as much as you do?" his dad asks him.
"Well…no. It's just not his favorite thing. So we talk about other stuff instead."
"So, do you think you should be mad at Blaine just because he likes something that's not you're favorite thing?" his dad concludes.
Kurt shrugs his shoulders and rests his elbow on the table, propping his head up with his hand. "I guess not."
"Because that wouldn't be fair, right?"
"Yeah," Kurt grumbles. "I hate when grown-ups are right."
His dad gives a small laugh and sips the milk out of his cereal bowl. "I think you would have figured it out eventually. But I don't like seeing you two fight. It's weird."
"I don't like fighting with him either," Kurt says quietly. He looks up at his dad. "Do y'think…I should go say sorry?"
His dad nods. "I think he'd appreciate it."
Kurt groans to himself and stands. "I'll be back in a little while, I guess," he tells his father. He walks out the front door and looks both ways before he crosses the street, just like he's been taught, and runs over to Blaine's front door. He rings the doorbell and Blaine's mom answers, telling Kurt that Blaine ran up to his room a little while ago. Kurt thanks her and goes up the stairs, knocking softly on Blaine's bedroom door.
"I don't wanna talk, mom," he hears Blaine's voice through the door.
Kurt opens it slowly and peeks his head inside. "It's me."
Blaine's sitting on his bed, leaning against the headboard with a book in his lap. When he hears Kurt's voice, his head shoots up to stare at him with surprised eyes. He glares at him and then turns his eyes back to his book.
"Maybe I don't wanna talk to you either," Blaine says flatly.
Kurt bites his lip, contemplating what he should do and just how he should apologize before he walks inside, closing the door behind him.
"Kurt, I'm really mad at you right now," Blaine warns him, still not looking up.
"I know," Kurt says, walking over and sitting on the edge of Blaine's bed. "You're allowed to be mad, it's okay."
Blaine lifts his eyes from the page. "What?"
"I just came over to say I'm sorry," Kurt says, unable to meet Blaine's pretty eyes. "I was really mean and rude to you and I didn't…I didn't know."
"…Didn't know what?" Blaine wonders.
"Didn't know why I was so mean. It's because I don't like that we…that we don't like all the same things anymore. I don't like thinking…like, about you playing football and stuff without me. And I'm scared you'll like lots of other things that I don't. And I'm…scared you'll get new friends who do like all the new stuff you like."
Blaine falls quiet for a minute, but his dark eyebrows shoot up really high as he stares at Kurt.
"So I'm sorry I was mean to you. And I'm sorry I said those things about football. It wasn't nice and I don't think I'd like it too awful much if you said mean things about all the clothes stuff I like. So…yeah. I'm really sorry."
He finally looks over to at Blaine, who's staring at him with this curiously interested look and then Blaine scoots over and pats the side of the bed next to him. Kurt crawls over slowly and settles himself next to Blaine, who slides his hand around Kurt's back. They've both grown, but Blaine still isn't as tall as Kurt is and Kurt's beginning to think he'll always be sort of small. But his best friend's arm is around him and Kurt breathes a small contented sigh when Blaine leans his head on Kurt's shoulder, laying his book down and taking hold of one of Kurt's hands.
"I'm not gonna find better friends," Blaine eventually says. "I think we're gonna make lots of new friends since we're growing up, but you'll always be my best friend. Like, no matter what."
Kurt tilts his head to the side and nods against Blaine's still-curly hair. "I hope so."
They stay quiet for a little bit, just being with each other because they'd never had a fight like that and it was nice to know things were going to be okay. Kurt was happy that he still had his very best friend, even if they didn't like all the same things anymore.
"So…you won't be mad if I play football with a bunch of the boys on Monday?" Blaine asks tentatively.
"…No," Kurt finally says. "Is it okay if I watch you? Like a bunch of the girls do? I can cheer you on and stuff."
"I'd like that," Blaine says with a smile. "And hey, if I get to play a lot, you can make me a shirt and decorate it with my name and stuff. 'Cause you're really good at designing things."
"Yeah," Kurt says with a little laugh. "I could do that."
They don't fight over the things they like anymore. They simply realize that it's part of growing up.
And growing up happens fast.
But they're still Kurt and Blaine. They're still best friends and they love each other and they still have sleepovers.
Eventually they realize that their friendship is a little different from other boys' friendships. They know that when most boys have sleepovers, everyone brings a separate sleeping bag and they all sleep on the floor. But Blaine and Kurt somehow still fit in the same bed (Kurt thinks it's because Blaine is such a short little thing). Kurt doesn't think that any of the other boys have friends like Blaine, friends who cuddle and friends who hold each other when they have nightmares. Because Kurt still has nightmares, at least ever since his mom died. He doesn't have them every night, but they're there sometimes and he really hates them. He thinks if he were friends with some of the other boys, they'd think he was stupid for waking up in the middle of the night with tears on his face. They wouldn't listen to him like Blaine did; they wouldn't listen to him talk about how sometimes he dreamed that his mom died all over again, or that his dad died too and he didn't have any parents at all, or that everyone around him died and he was simply all alone.
But Blaine did. Blaine sits up with him at night and listens while Kurt whispers all of his fears. Blaine tells him that he has nightmares too, sometimes. He has nightmares about his real dad finding him and hurting him again and he dreams that his old mom will come and take him away from the really nice family he has now. Kurt listens to him, just like he listens to Kurt. Sometimes they cry together; they cry for the people they lost, they cry over the people who are still mean to them at school, they cry because occasionally they're afraid they'll lose each other.
Kurt starts to think that Blaine's the only real friend he'll ever have in this world.
They still wear their friendship bracelets, but there are days when the string gets so worn and thin that they break. Kurt makes them new ones out of this plastic twine stuff his dad gives him. They wear them proudly, no matter what anyone says.
However, they stop holding hands at school.
When they were younger, it seemed like it was okay for them to hold hands, just because they were best friends. But people start saying awful things and calling them terrible names and Kurt doesn't understand why people do it. The names and the taunts become too much for them both when they turn eleven years old, so they stop holding hands. Sometimes they'll be walking next to each other in the hallway and their fingers will brush gently against the other's. At those moments, Kurt just wants to reach out and hold Blaine's hand anyway because their best friends and why can't he hold hands with his best friend? Even some of the teachers look at them oddly.
Kurt doesn't understand.
But they adapt.
On Valentine's Day in fifth grade, Kurt sits in his classroom, making a Valentine, as per the assignment. He and Blaine aren't in the same class, but Blaine's classroom is just across the hallway and they were allowed to exchange Valentine's Day cards with people in other classes, so Kurt just thinks he'll drop Blaine's in his box later.
"Hey Kurt," his teacher greets him with a smile, crouching down next to his desk as he designs his card. "Who are you giving a Valentine to?"
"Blaine," Kurt tells her, cutting small hearts out of red paper. "He's in the classroom across the hall."
Kurt doesn't see the strange look his teacher gets, but when he looks up, she smiles at him.
"That's very nice," she says. "But aren't there any girls you want to give a Valentine to?"
Kurt shrugs and continues cutting out the hearts. "Not really. I mean, I'll give them all one, I've got cards in my backpack." They were required to give everyone in their class a generic Valentine's Day card because the teachers didn't want anyone to feel left out, but they were allowed to make one special Valentine for their very favorite person. "But Blaine's the one who gets this one. Since he's been my best friend for like, years."
"I see," his teacher says with a smile. "It looks lovely."
"Thank you!"
But when the time comes to exchange Valentine's Cards, when everyone's rushing around the classroom and in the hallway, Kurt doesn't get to drop his card in Blaine's box because they literally bump right into each other.
"Oh, hi!" Blaine says with a broad grin. "I was um, just gonna…here," he says, handing Kurt a card that is decorated with mounds of glitter. "I'm giving you my special one. And I know you like glitter and shiny things, because you always point them out in magazines and stuff. So yeah."
Kurt takes the glittery card in his hand and smiles at Blaine's silly scrawl on the front.
He thinks it's perfect.
"I'm giving you my special one too," Kurt says somewhat shyly, handing Blaine the card he'd made. It wasn't shiny, like the one Kurt was given, but he thought it was very nicely decorated.
"Wow, it's really good," Blaine says, looking at the card in awe. "Like, really good. You're so good at this stuff."
"Thanks," Kurt says, blushing a tiny, tiny bit.
Blaine looks up at him with a huge smile on his face. "Happy Valentine's Day!" He tackles Kurt in tight hug, almost knocking the taller boy off his feet, but Kurt stays balanced and hugs back just as tightly.
"Happy Valentine's Day," he says softly into Blaine's ear.
Blaine pulls back very slightly.
He leans forward and brushes his nose against Kurt's in an Eskimo kiss, right there in the hallway amidst dozens of other fifth graders.
Somebody shoves them both to the ground, but there are so many kids around that they don't know who did it.
"Fags."
The word cuts through the air.
It doesn't have the desired effect, however, because more than half the kids there don't really know what the word means, including Kurt and Blaine. Kurt simply stands and holds out his hand to help Blaine up.
Thank goodness their Valentine's Day cards weren't damaged in the fall. They were just a little bent at the edges.
They share a long look because they really don't understand what just happened; they just know they were being bullied again.
"Dad?" Kurt asks when he and his dad are sitting at the dinner table.
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you what something means?"
"Sure."
"I…I don't know if it's a bad word or not, so you can't get mad at me for saying it."
His dad pauses, his fork almost to his mouth. "Okay."
"What're fags?"
The fork clatters to the plate loudly and his dad is staring him so…so strangely that Kurt feels sort of scared.
"Did – did someone call you that, Kurt?" his dad asks him.
"Um, yeah. They called me and Blaine that. But what's it mean?"
His dad nods slowly and then gestures his head toward Kurt's plate. "Finish your dinner. We'll talk when you're done."
Comments
aww they're so innocent. God people are disgusting, they are just little kids who know everything about each other, love each other and at this point in time thye're only friends who care deeply for another. the world is cruel :(
Oh snap. The f word. Poor, poor Kurt. And poor Blainers. I hate seeing people have to deal with that word. I knew a kid who used that word fairly often, and mostly I tried to ignore it because he never actually said to to any gay students, only his dumb ass friends, but one day he said it about 3 times in 10 minutes and I couldn't take it. At the time, being an editor of the school newspaper (the class we were in at the time) I got his attention pretty quick and he was pretty shocked when I ripped him a new one. I liked the affect it had, though.
another great chapter
Poor boys. T_T That's just mean.