July 28, 2011, 12:06 a.m.
Swing Sets & Sandboxes: On The Right Track
T - Words: 3,125 - Last Updated: Jul 28, 2011 Story: Complete - Chapters: 17/17 - Created: Jul 27, 2011 - Updated: Jul 28, 2011 15,216 0 5 0 1
The decision regarding the expulsion of Dave Karofsky has been overruled by the school board.
As if it were possible for this week to get any freaking worse.
It had been almost an entire week, a week since he'd heard anything from Blaine. And of course, while he's depressed and moping over that fact, this has to happen.
We want you to go to Dalton.
Well, damnit.
Karofsky is to return to McKinley on Monday.
So on Saturday, Kurt's idly fidgeting with his cell phone, sitting on his bed, debating whether or not to send Blaine a text message. He's made the decision to transfer to Dalton, as per his dad and Carole's wishes, and while he did feel a little guilty about using their honeymoon money, he was far more grateful to have a safe haven where his life wouldn't be threatened. That being said, he hasn't told Blaine yet. And Blaine needs to know. It would be almost cruel to show up on Dalton Academy grounds and walk through the doors just to see Blaine standing there with a horrifyingly shocked expression on his face after everything that had happened.
He presses the send button, letting the satellites do their work as the message 'I know you're mad at me, but I need to talk to you' gets sent to Blaine's inbox.
I'm not mad at you. Meet you for coffee in an hour.
Oh okay. That was an unexpectedly quick reply.
"Hey," Kurt greets shyly as he sits down at the little table in the corner of the coffee shop, right across from Blaine.
"Hi," Blaine returns with a smile that Kurt didn't quite intend on seeing today.
It's nice to not see Blaine crying, Kurt thinks. It's nice that he's not crying for once either. And while it's only been a week, Kurt can't stop thinking about how good Blaine looks, how attractive he is in his nearly-winter coat and red scarf. Kurt suddenly remembers a time when Blaine didn't have a coat like that. But Blaine's face is refreshing to his eyes and he's so unbelievably happy to see that smile.
"Your text sounded really urgent," Blaine finally says. "Is everything okay?"
"No," Kurt says with a slow shake of his head. "No, it's not."
"What's wrong?"
Kurt can see the very obvious concern in Blaine's pretty eyes and he honestly doesn't know how he's gone so long without having Blaine this close to him.
"The school board overturned the decision to expel Karofsky. He's coming back to McKinley on Monday," Kurt informs him.
"…Are you serious? After all that? What – what are you gonna do?" Blaine wonders.
"I…won't be."
"You won't be what?"
"Going back to McKinley on Monday," Kurt explains.
"Oh," Blaine says softly. "Are they…are your parents transferring you somewhere else? Somewhere…far away?"
"It's a bit far from home. But a lot closer to you," Kurt says, kind of amused that Blaine hasn't caught on yet.
Blaine's dark eyebrows furrow in confusion and Kurt decides to take pity on him, even though he looks really, really adorable.
"I'm transferring to Dalton."
"…Really?"
"Really, really," Kurt says with a small smile.
Blaine's mouth hangs open in shock, but only a tiny bit and Kurt has to try ridiculously hard to keep his eyes off of Blaine's lips because yes, coffee, mocha, they taste like mocha and they're having mochas right now and he just knows that taste would be intensified and oh, hello, so much for not thinking about his lips, that worked out really well.
"You're…you'll really be at school? With me?" Blaine asks.
Kurt's positive he hears hope in the other boy's voice which, he can safely say, is a huge step up from the fear or unease he planned on hearing.
"Yeah," Kurt nods. "I'll be there with you."
"Kurt…you – that makes me…really happy."
Kurt's heart swells with affection in his chest.
"Me too," he admits.
"I know that I – I haven't talked to you for a few days, but I just needed some…time, you know? To think some stuff through."
Uh oh.
"And…what did you um, figure out?" Kurt needs to know.
"I still want you. I want to be with you," Blaine states plainly and Kurt sighs internally with a huge amount of relief. "But you were right. It's not – not the right time. And I need to get over this stupid crap with Elliot. Because I…I want to be able to give you all of me. Just like you want. Despite all of my hysterics and my crying that day."
"That doesn't mean that you…have to avoid me, right?" Kurt asks, wishing and hoping and praying for the right answer. He doesn't know if he could handle Dalton with Blaine attempting to ignore him every day.
"No, no, I'm sorry about that," Blaine says quickly. "I won't be like that anymore. I just needed some time for – for me. You know?"
"Yeah," Kurt nods. "I know."
And he does, he understands completely. But he can't help but be really happy about the fact that Blaine will, indeed, not be ignoring him when he transfers.
"How is Elliot, by the way?" Kurt asks with as much delicacy as possible.
"He's an asshole, that's how he is," Blaine grumbles before taking a long gulp of his mocha.
Don't think about his lips, don't think about his lips, don't think about his lips.
Damnit.
"You know he told Nick and Jeff, sorry, two guys who're in the Warblers with me, you'll meet them on Monday, but anyway. He actually told them that I cheated on him. With you," Blaine says bitterly. "He just decided to spread these stupid stories, with absolutely no proof at all, and leave me to clean up the mess and set things straight. I didn't cheat on him. I mean what the hell, you wouldn't let me kiss you while he was dating me."
Kurt decides to not point out the fact that he still kind of kissed Blaine before he knew that he and Elliot had broken things off. That would be counterproductive. Yeah, best to keep that to himself. But Blaine seems to have the need to vent because he just keeps talking and Kurt forces down a small chuckle at the furious (also cute as hell) expression on Blaine's agitated face.
"And you know what? It wasn't even emotional cheating either because I didn't even know how I really felt about you. He only broke up with me after I chose a friendship with you over a relationship with him. And you know what else? He shouldn't have given me a freaking ultimatum in the first place! So ha!"
Kurt does his very best not to snort at the bit of ten year old Blaine that bled through his words at the end of his rant.
"I'm sorry," Blaine says, anger deflating. "You should be the last person listening to my problems with my ex."
"I'm still your best friend," Kurt points out. "I'll never stop being that. Besides…it's actually very amusing and unholy amounts of entertaining to listen to you shred him to pieces."
"Oh god," Blaine sighs. "I hope he doesn't try to act stupidly superior around you."
"Don't worry," Kurt says quickly. "I can take care of myself when it comes to verbal sparring."
Blaine's lips turn up into an almost sinister grin. "This whole you coming to Dalton thing might just actually work out really, really well."
"It isn't enough to see my smiling face every day?" Kurt says with mock indignation. "You'll only keep me around if I bitch out your ex-boyfriend? I'm hurt, Blaine."
"Oh shut up," Blaine laughs lightly, nudging Kurt's foot with his underneath the table. "You know I'm excited to get to see you every day."
Kurt blushes an odd shade of pink.
He doesn't know if he he'll be able to hand this much flirting every day.
But he'd be crazy not to flirt back, that's for damn sure.
Dalton is…different.
It isn't a bad kind of different, it's just different. He's only been here for two weeks and he's still not used to seeing so many uniforms.
Or leather sofas.
Or boys.
So. Many. Boys.
But yeah, while it's nice to look and all, he's only got his sights set on one in particular.
Said boy is actually talking to right now as they stand at the bottom of a staircase.
"…invite you to audition for a solo."
Audition? For what? He's too busy staring at the way Blaine's eyelashes flutter against his cheekbones.
Oh!
"For sectionals?" he asks.
"For sectionals," Blaine says with a smile and a tiny wink.
Kurt nearly faints.
"What should I sing, do you think?" Kurt asks. "I mean, you seem to be the resident soloist. What do you suggest?"
"I would suggest no Disney songs," Blaine says with a serious expression.
But Kurt sees the corner of his lips quirk up as he suppresses a smile.
"But you know how beautiful my rendition of 'Part of Your World' can be. I can bring a crowd to tears with that one," Kurt says.
"I'm quite partial to 'Be a Man' from Mulan, actually," Blaine grins. "I'd kill to hear you sing that."
"But not for auditions," Kurt shakes his head with an unhappy look.
"Not for auditions."
"You're absolutely no help at all, do you know that?" Kurt returns honestly.
"You know it'd be unfair for me to help you with song selections," Blaine says, reaching out to flatten the lapel of Kurt's uniform blazer.
"What good is it being best friends with the lead soloist if I don't get inside information?" Kurt pouts.
Blaine leans in closer to Kurt's ear. "Just think about all the after-hours make out sessions we'll have eventually."
"Blaine!" Kurt squeaks in embarrassment.
Blaine pulls away from him and Kurt wants to slap that stupidly satisfied Cheshire cat grin off of his face.
Or kiss it away.
Yes, that's the preferred option.
"I can't help it," Blaine shrugs. "You're adorable when you blush."
And then he winks again and turns right around and walks off to his next class.
Obviously…they were on the right track here.
"You sang beautifully," Blaine says quietly as he seats himself next to Kurt in front of the window. "I was very impressed."
Kurt smile isn't a real smile. "Yeah. But I guess I didn't impress the council as much as I impressed you."
"It's very rare for new members to get solos anyway," Blaine says consolingly. "I had to audition three times before I got one."
"I just thought that since my voice was more…unique, I'd have a better chance," Kurt admits, hanging his head.
"I can't believe you're a countertenor," Blaine says in awe. "The Warblers haven't had a countertenor in…decades."
Kurt shrugs. Being a countertenor doesn't feel all that special anymore, not when he still…still feels like he has nothing to call his own here. Not when he still doesn't have Blaine, when he doesn't have a real place amongst the Warblers, when he doesn't stand out at all, in any way.
"You're really upset, aren't you?" Blaine asks him.
"Yeah," Kurt nods. "I am."
Blaine leans over and rests his head on Kurt's shoulder. He sighs softly into the empty, elegant hallway.
"I wish I could make you feel better."
Wow, and Kurt's reminded of the times when Blaine used to say those exact words to him when they were younger. It's strange really, how far back their past together goes and how recently he's reminded of a bunch of tiny things just like that.
"Hey," Blaine says eventually. "Let's go for a ride."
"I…don't really have an appropriate jacket for riding," Kurt reminds him.
"You can borrow one of mine, come on," Blaine says excitedly, grabbing Kurt's wrist and tugging him along.
They grab Kurt a jacket from Blaine's dorm room and soon enough they're on his motorcycle on the road, chilly autumn air and trees whizzing past as Kurt holds tightly to Blaine's waist. At first it seems like they're heading straight towards Lima, but then Blaine takes a few quick turns.
"Where are we going?" Kurt asks when they hit a stop sign.
"Why do you always have to know?" Blaine teases.
"I suppose if you kidnap me, it could be worse. At least you aren't a strange man offering me candy."
"I can offer you candy if you want," Blaine teases in a low voice that Kurt is absolutely positive he has never ever in his life heard come from that mouth.
He isn't nearly as chilled as he was two minutes ago, that's for sure.
It seems like they ride around for ages before they're finally on a deserted stretch of road, though it isn't the same road they had been on before. Kurt is caught off guard when Blaine pulls his motorcycle over on the side of the road under a thicket of low tree branches before urging him off the seat. Oh, okay and they're going into the slight forest just off the road now. They walk for a few minutes in silence, Kurt following Blaine deeper into the trees until Blaine stops. Kurt looks up and…wow. It isn't really a forest because it isn't that big and they haven't been walking that long, but the sunlight is filtering in through the treetops. The grass seems to be oddly green for the time of the year and it's…it's quiet here. It's calming.
It's also very familiar.
"Beautiful isn't it?" Blaine asks, his eyes still focused on the sunlight leaking through the trees.
"Very," Kurt nods, taking in Blaine's profile. "Why do I feel like I've been here before?"
"Because you have," Blaine says simply.
"I have?"
"Mhmm," Blaine turns to him and smiles. "Your mom and dad brought us here once when we were little."
Kurt's eyes widen in surprise. "This is…this is the same place?"
"It is," Blaine confirms. "It took me months to find it when I came back to Ohio. I drove around all the time until I finally did. I haven't been out here in a while, though. It used to be my favorite place to just…hide away from the world." He's looking directly at Kurt. "The world without you."
Kurt's eyes soften at Blaine's words and he refuses to fight the sad, slow smile creeping onto his lips.
"What was your world like without me?" Kurt whispers.
"Dull," Blaine states. "Colorless. Shadowed."
So was Kurt's without Blaine. He nods in understanding. They may not be boyfriends, they may not be together in the common meaning of the term, but they still held each other's hearts.
"What did you used to do when you came here?" Kurt wonders.
"Most days I'd bring a book," Blaine tells him. "Some days I'd just lie on the ground and look up through the treetops. I'd wish on sunbeams that you'd come find me."
"I didn't know people wished on sunbeams," Kurt says softly.
"I wished on every thing," Blaine confesses. "Stars, sunbeams, flower petals, even on singularly spectacular rain storms."
Kurt honestly did not know where Blaine attained his talent for using pretty speech or how he knew just what to say to make Kurt's heart skip a beat, but he realizes that he wouldn't have him any other way.
"Some days I'd come out here and scream," Blaine adds.
"…You'd scream?"
"Yeah," Blaine nods. "Haven't you ever been so mad at the world, so mad at yourself that you just need to yell? And you just want to yell for the sake of yelling?"
"Well…yes," Kurt replies because he has. "But usually I just scream into my pillow."
"This is much more gratifying."
"Do you…have something to scream about?" Kurt asks.
Blaine eyes lock on his. "Maybe," he says.
And then Blaine proceeds to open his mouth, shut his eyes and raise his voice, yelling long and loud into the forest, the sound echoing against the bark of tree trunks and the branches soaking it up. His cheeks go red not just from the chill in the air and Kurt sees the tendons in his Blaine's neck tense and he's just…yelling.
It's kind of…obscenely divine. Kurt almost feels like he's invading an extremely private moment simply by standing here, watching the sunbeams on which Blaine used to wish trip over his anguished face.
But he was invited here.
And that makes him feel like he's worth more than all the sunbeams that ever shone on the face of the Earth.
Blaine's voice dies and his chest heaves rapidly, but he's smiling up at the treetops before he turns to look at Kurt with flushed cheeks and dancing gold specks in his eyes.
"Try it," Blaine suggests.
Kurt looks around nervously. "Are you – are you sure people won't think we're dying or something?"
"There's no one around here," Blaine laughs breathlessly. "Trust me."
Trust me.
Two little words that cause Kurt to give in.
He screams.
He screams because Blaine tells him to. He screams because he didn't get the solo. He screams because he was forced out of his school by another boy. He screams because he misses his friends. He screams because Elliot had Blaine for too long. He screams because he lost Blaine so long ago. He screams because he missed him. He screams because they cried together, he screams because Blaine was abused and neglected, he screams because he was born to love in a way that most people didn't seem to understand or want to understand.
He screams because he isn't sure if he has all of Blaine's heart in his open, welcoming palms just yet.
He runs out of breath.
"See?" Blaine asks him quietly.
It's odd, Kurt thinks, because he remembers being little and thinking that this simply wasn't a place for loud noises.
Now he thinks it was made for it.
"Yeah," Kurt whispers. He looks over and Blaine's smiling that smile, the one that causes his eyes to crinkle. "Yeah."
"Come here," Blaine gestures him over.
And now he thinks that every time Blaine utters those two words, they lead to trouble. Or tears.
Blaine sits on the dry ground covered in too green grass and then stretches out on his back. Kurt seats himself right beside him, staring down into Blaine's face. He sees the bit of facial hair growing back in from Blaine's morning shave and at that moment he realizes that they really aren't children anymore, that things and timelines have been altered so drastically that maybe they could never get it all back. He knows they've grown up. He knows they've grown up separately.
But they're here together now and that should count for something.
And they care about each other on a level that Kurt is pretty sure most people will never come to understand.
Blaine reaches for Kurt with one hand, letting his fingers brush against his pale jaw.
"Can I – can I hold you?" Blaine asks hesitantly.
Kurt remembers those exact words, the exact phrasing from their very last night together before Blaine left for Maryland. They had shared their first, sweet, soft kiss.
He let Blaine hold him then.
He was certainly going to let him hold him now.
So he lies down with his head on Blaine's chest and Blaine's arms wrapped around his body, warding off the chilly autumn, almost-winter air.
And the sun is filtering in though the tree branches and Kurt can vaguely recall a time when they were mostly carefree, definitely very young, skipping through the trees and singing made up songs to no one in particular.
Comments
aww I love how you make them do similiar things like from their childhood. man only one ch left :(
Okay those last few lines were utterly beautiful. I love places like their little thicket of trees. Those places where everything seems so delicate you can't help nut whisper, and yet so strong and sacred you want to go there to let out all the frustration from the world, those are the absolute best.
another great chapter
So sweet. I'd love to see Elliott try something with Kurt. Be mean or whatever.
So Elliot never says anything to Kurt at school?