Swing Sets & Sandboxes
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Swing Sets & Sandboxes: Maybe We Shouldn't


T - Words: 3,242 - Last Updated: Jul 28, 2011
Story: Complete - Chapters: 17/17 - Created: Jul 27, 2011 - Updated: Jul 28, 2011
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Author's Notes: Yes, I rush through canon. So sue me.

When Kurt wakes after his nap, it isn't because Blaine wakes him up as he had promised. Rather, he wakes up due to raised voices at Blaine's door.

"…quiet, you'll wake him up!"

"Oh, god forbid I wake up the boy who shouldn't be sleeping in you bed in the first place!"

"Jesus Christ, Elliot, he had a really horrible day, okay? There's nothing you need to worry about!"

"Nothing at all, huh? You think I don't see the look you get on your face every time you bring him up in a conversation? You completely blew me off for him yesterday and a few hours ago you pretty much ordered me out of your room and now you're trying to say there's nothing I need to worry about. Some how that just doesn't add up in my mind."

"He's my friend. He's my best friend. I've know him-"

"Since you were seven, yeah, I get it. You've only told every damn person that you talk to. How he's come back in your life, blah blah blah, you've made it really clear. That doesn't mean that he takes priority over me!"

"Okay, since when did you get so possessive?"

"Don't even try to make me the bad guy here. Don't freaking do it."

"I'm not doing this. Get the hell away from my door."

"What, choosing him over me again?"

"I will deal with you later! Right now, I have a friend who needs my help and if you can't understand that, then I don't want to talk to you!"

"Fine. But you'd better be alone when I come back."

"I will come to you."

The door slams.

Kurt snaps his eyes shut to feign sleep. He feels the bed dip and then Blaine's hand is trailing over his cheekbone.

"If you're really asleep, I'd be very surprised."

Damnit. He was caught. He peeks through one of his eyes. Blaine is biting back a smile and he pulls his hand away from Kurt's face.

"Thought so."

Kurt opens his other eye and yawns sleepily. "I didn't mean to listen in."

"We were being too loud," Blaine says softly. "Don't worry about it. I'm sorry we woke you. He just walked in without even knocking."

"He probably thought I was gone," Kurt says, stretching his body out, trying not to notice when Blaine's eyes trail over him and catch sight of the pale bit of flesh that's revealed when his t-shirt rides up when he lifts his arms. He relaxes into the bed again, arms up around his head. "I'm sorry I caused a fight. That's not what I wanted."

"…Isn't it though?" Blaine wonders.

"No," Kurt says, sure that confusion is showing on his face. "Why would you think it was?"

"You just…yesterday you said…about why you wouldn't kiss me. It kind of sounded like you were…giving me incentive to break up with him," Blaine explains.

"Blaine, no. That's not…no," Kurt tells him, shaking his head. "I just…I'm trying to be…to be the better guy, you know? I won't kiss you while you're with him. And I…if we…I won't – I won't share you."

"I don't understand," Blaine admits, hanging his head. "So you don't want me to break up with him?"

"I just want you to be happy," Kurt whispers, reaching out his hand to touch Blaine's knee. "Isn't that what you do when you really love someone? You want them to be happy, even if it's not with you?"

"But you seemed so angry when I told you about him."

"Of course I was angry. He's got you. He's got the one thing I want in this entire world. And believe me, that's saying something considering how often I want a solo," Kurt says with a smile. "So yeah, I'm jealous. And yeah, it makes me happy that you seem like you're willing to ditch him for me right now. But…if he makes you happier than I do, there's nothing I can do about that."

"But…what if I'm not?"

Kurt pulls his hand off Blaine's knee. "That's your call. You know I can't make the decision for you."

Blaine nods. "Yeah. I know."

"But Blaine, you have to remember…we've seen each other, what, three times in a two week span? You see him every day. You've been with him for a month. He obviously means something to you. And I don't…god, as much as it hurts to say this…I don't want you to break it off with him and then come to me only to realize I'm not the person you want. We both know how long we've been apart and we both know that we're different people now. I don't want to end up being a – a mistake."

"You could never be a mistake," Blaine says, shaking his head. "Don't think that."

"Stop fighting me," Kurt says as he sits up. "You know I'm right."

"Why is this so difficult?" Blaine whispers brokenly. "I just…I just want things to be simple and I just want to be happy."

"You know that you'll still have me either way, right? Even if you want to be with Elliot…I'll still be your friend," Kurt tells him.

"That's an awful thing to expect," Blaine says softly. "I couldn't handle you looking at me all the time, like – like you're miserably unhappy because I chose him over you."

"I'd get over it eventually. Maybe. Hopefully. But I…I care way too much to stand in the way."

"You're being way too nice to me," Blaine says with a watery smile, wiping away the tears that are forming in his eyes. "After everything…I don't know why you're being like this."

Kurt leans forward and pulls Blaine into a warm hug. "I'm usually a sarcastic little bitch. You should be grateful that I care enough to want to be nice."

He feels Blaine laugh against him as he hugs him back. "We probably shouldn't cuddle anymore."

"Probably not," Kurt agrees. He makes to pull away and Blaine's holds onto him even tighter.

"Wait," Blaine whispers. "Just…not yet."

Kurt nods against Blaine's cheek and then ducks his head to nuzzle his nose against his neck.

"You know, when we were little…there were times when I wished I could hold onto you forever," Blaine admits quietly. "When I never wanted to let go."

"Me too," Kurt says.

"I'm so glad you found me again," Blaine breathes into Kurt's messy hair.

Kurt's chest hitches, he wants to cry again, but damnit he's so tired of crying and why does Blaine do this to him? How can he make Kurt feel like this? How can Blaine twist all his emotions up in a knot and leave him to figure out how to untangle them all by himself?

"I'm glad too," he ends up saying.

They hold onto each other.

Just for a little while longer.


"Well he's not coming out anytime soon," Blaine scoffs, smoothing down the crinkles in his blazer.

True to his word, Blaine had showed up to McKinley to confront Karofsky with Kurt. Things went over about as well as Kurt had expected them to.

"Yeah," Kurt says dejectedly, seating himself on a step.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asks.

"I'm just tired of it," Kurt tells him. "I'm tired of the way he treats me and my friends and I'm tired of being shoved around. I'm tired of everything. And nothing seems to make it better."

"I'm sorry," Blaine says quietly. "We tried though."

"I know," Kurt nods. "Thank you for coming here. Even if it didn't make that much of a difference."

"You know I'll always be here for you."

Kurt looks up at Blaine to see him smiling a bit. He can't stop from smiling back.

"And hey, look at it this way," Blaine says in a low voice, settling his head on Kurt's shoulder next to his ear. "At least it wasn't your first kiss."

Kurt immediately turns beat red.

"Let me buy you lunch," Blaine says.


"…or I'll kill you."

Kurt stands immobile, eyes unfocused as Karofsky walks away.

No.

No.

His hands are shaking and his mind is reeling, trying to make sense of the threat. No, no, Karofsky was just being a stupid, scared little boy.

I'll kill you.

He won't. He's being completely over dramatic. He doesn't mean it. It's just an idle threat.

I'll kill you.

He's just scared of everything I am, everything I stand for, everything I…everything…

I'll kill you.

He'll kill me.

Kurt can't breathe. His eyes are darting around the hallway, trying to see if someone heard, if someone noticed.

He's never felt so alone in crowded place.

He goes home.

Honestly, Kurt should be worried about the amount of school he's ditched in the past couple of weeks but right now he really can't give a damn because he just received a death threat.

Tell someone, tell someone, tell someone.

He can't tell Blaine. Blaine would tell his dad. He can't tell his dad because his dad just had a heart attack a few months ago Kurt refused to put his dad in any kind of stressful situation. He couldn't tell any of his friends because they'd want him to tell his dad and there's that circle. He can't tell a teacher because they'd just brush it off as an idle threat, just as he had tried to.

He screams into his pillow.


Kurt spends the next few weeks looking over his shoulder in the hallways and trying to avoid every route he knows Karofsky frequents. His friends ask him why he seems so skittish. He doesn't have an answer so every time someone asks him why he seems so nervous, he just makes up some seriously lame excuse. The only time he feels remotely happy, remotely normal is when he meets Blaine for coffee twice a week.

"We're getting married!"

Oh. Well okay, then. He knew that his dad and Carole were getting along really well, but he didn't expect them to get hitched any time soon. Then again, adults knew what they wanted.

He fawns over the wedding plans, finding a venue, picking the colors and convincing the Glee club to be the entertainment and it's a really nice distraction from everything he's been worrying about lately. He feels useful again.

Well damnit.

He needs a date.

Well, he doesn't need a date, but pretty much everyone is going to have one.

…Should he?

He'll ask.

He dials Blaine's number.

"…Hello?"

"Hey, Blaine."

"Kurt! Hi! What's up?"

Kurt refuses to feel giddy when he hears how happy Blaine seems at his call.

"What are you doing next weekend?"

"Um…nothing, I think. Why? Did you want to hang out?"

"Actually my uh, my dad's getting married."

"What? Really? Kurt, that's awesome! Tell him I said congratulations!"

"Well um…I was calling to ask if you wanted to go. To the wedding…with me."

"…Like, as your date?"

"…Pretty much, yeah."

"Is that…a good idea?"

"We don't even have to dance together if you don't want to," Kurt says quickly. "I just…don't want to go alone. Mercedes is going with this guy Anthony from school otherwise I'd ask her, you know, as friends. But…yeah."

"I'd love to go with you. And we can even dance if you want."

Kurt has to convince himself that no, there's no way Blaine's smiling on the other end of the line.


"…He said what?"

Oh hell. His dad is pissed. Kurt was in the middle of giving his dad and Finn dance lessons when they saw Karofsky in the doorway of the choir room giving him a mockingly ridiculous gesture, which then led to Kurt finally telling them about the death threat. He was reluctant to say anything at all but the look his dad was giving him reminded him of that time when he was little, that time when he told them that he knew about Blaine's abuse. Kurt realizes that maybe he sort of just a little bit broke that promise he made so many years ago, but there's nothing for it now.

His dad races out the door and he follows, as does Finn and Kurt has to pry his dad off of Karofsky.

All of this leads to an extremely uncomfortable discussion in the principal's office…the office Sue Sylvester had suddenly taken over.

Kurt's surprised at the outcome.

"You're expelled."

He cheers internally.

Maybe, just maybe, he can start to be happy again. Karofsky's gone. Blaine's still his friend.

And he's got a date to wedding.

Yes, indeed, things are looking up for Kurt Hummel!


The day of the wedding, Kurt's standing by the door greeting all of the guests as they enter the chapel and he can't keep the stupidly large grin off his face when Blaine arrives, looking insanely suave in his suit.

"Heya, stranger," Blaine greets happily, giving Kurt a once over with his eyes. "You look really, really nice."

Damnit, how can he make Kurt blush so easily?

"Thanks," Kurt says shyly. "So do you."

"We private school boys clean up well, don't we?" Blaine says, adjusting his tie with a grin.

"That you do," Kurt nods. "Go have a seat on the front row. You get priority seating since you're my date. I'll meet you after the ceremony."

"Okay!" Blaine replies with a bright smile before he practically skips off down to the front of the small chapel.

Kurt has to shake his head and laugh internally at just how adorable Blaine is when he's excited about something.

As soon as the amount of guests flowing into the chapel turn into a mere trickle, he's finally able to meet everyone outside in a hallway as they prepare to start the ceremony.

Well, ceremony was quite vague considering the musical number they end up doing down the aisle, but it's tons of fun and his dad looks hilarious. Carole looks beautiful when she comes down the aisle and Kurt can't help but tear up when she and his dad exchange vows. The speeches are touching and wow, that was fast, the rings are on, they share a kiss and suddenly they're hitched.

"What'd you think?" Kurt asks Blaine when everyone's filing out of the church after the newlyweds to head to the ceremony.

"Totally the best wedding I've ever been to. Like, hands down. Best," Blaine tells him.

"Wait until you see the reception," Kurt says. "I think I did a fantastic job with the color scheme."

"Wha – you planned this whole thing?"

"Mhmm."

"Wow," Blaine nods impressively. "Gay guys get stuff done."

"Damn straight."


The reception venue is decked out perfectly and Kurt's sitting a table next to Blaine, laughing and actually enjoying himself. Mercedes had glared at Kurt when he told her about Blaine because hello, best friends need these detail and Kurt took forever to tell her that Blaine was back in Ohio. When Kurt had told his dad that Blaine would be his date to the wedding, his dad was fairly shocked but said something about how he was glad Blaine was back in Kurt's life, 'you two are good for each other' or something like that.

But now…everything seemed kind of wonderfully amazing and everyone was having a good time. His dad and Carole share their first dance and Kurt nearly tears up at the sight of his dad looking so incredibly happy.

He was glad for them.

Kurt would always love his mother, but he was definitely going to make room for Carole in his life. She's lovely.

"Do we still get to dance?" Blaine asks him a few songs later. "Because you did mention dancing."

"If you want to dance, I suppose I will let you drag me onto the floor," Kurt says.

"Awesome," Blaine grins. "I'm just waiting for the perf-"

He stops speaking when Puck and Rachel get up on the stage and begin singing a duet.

"This one," Blaine nods decisively, grabbing Kurt's wrist and forcing him up. "I love this song."

Oh…

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that

Blaine would pick this song to dance to.

Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react

Various other couples fill the dance floor but Blaine pulls him to the center, right in the middle of everyone they know and settles his hands on Kurt's shoulders.

"Are we back in junior high?" Kurt teases softly as he places his hands demurely on Blaine's waist.

"We never did go to a junior high dance," Blaine comments, pulling Kurt just a little closer so that there's only about an inch or so of space between their bodies.

Games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

"I didn't think you really liked school dances," Kurt says. "I didn't think that either of us did."

"I don't know," Blaine shrugs. "But we're dancing now."

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time

"Yeah," Kurt whispers, searching Blaine's eyes for any trace of emotion, any hint of what he could possibly be thinking right now. "We are."

Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Blaine gives him a small smile and takes that tiny step closer, closing that barely there gap between them so he can slide his hands around to the back of Kurt's shoulders. He rests his head against Kurt's chest, against his collar bone and right under his chin.

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back

Kurt hears him breathe an almost imperceptible, satisfied little sigh of contentment.

Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black

They move slowly around the dance floor and Kurt ignores the curious stares of his friends.

You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

The scent of Blaine's cologne is almost sweet.

Kurt thinks he might be fine if he could drown in it.

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time

He feels Blaine's fingers tighten on his shoulders. The music is so pretty, it's so nice here, with Blaine tucked under his chin and his hands on Blaine's small waist.

Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice

You've made it now

Kurt realizes that…he really, really doesn't want to let go. He wants to stay here. Can't he just stay here?

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing it loud

But they can't.

Because the song is ending and the reception with be over soon and Blaine will go back to Elliot.

Because Blaine isn't his.

Because he isn't Blaine's.

He pulls away as the song draws to a close and Blaine looks up at him through long, dark lashes and Kurt can see those large honey hazel eyes he's always adored. They're still so close and Blaine's body heat is scalding him, even through their clothes. Kurt slowly slides his hand up Blaine's back because he needs to, he needs to feel him and he's suddenly overcome with the want to touch every part of him he can reach. He trails his fingers over the warm skin of Blaine's neck and up further still because Kurt can't help himself, despite what he said when he wouldn't kiss Blaine, despite what he told Blaine in his dorm room, he can't stop. It's like some other force is driving him to do these things, to move his hands where they don't belong. Blaine's eyes fall shut when Kurt lets his fingers twine into Blaine's dark curls and his lips part just a tiny, tiny bit.

God, his lips.

The rest of the world slips away and it's simply the two of them, standing alone on an empty dance floor and the only music they have comes from their racing hearts and their short, anxious puffs of breath. Blaine opens his beautiful, enchanting eyes and Kurt gets lost in them, lost in their color, in their depth, and he sees himself in Blaine's pupils. Lyrics echo somewhere in his hazy memory.

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back

And he can't.

Kurt tilts his head forward, pressing their lips together in a tender, sweet kiss and his first thought is, absurdly, that yeah, yeah Blaine does taste like mocha. He feels Blaine's hand cup the back of his neck to hold him in place.

As if he could leave.

End Notes: The song used above is Falling Slowly by the Swell Season (Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova).

Comments

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I have literally been waiting FOREVER to find this song in a fanfic... its actually like my dream that they sing it on nov 8th... yesss!

Let me just stand in your radiance forever now. First of all I love that song, so so much. Second, I got a really good laugh cause I have a crush on a guy named Elliot. Now this is the beyond weird thing... He has played this song when I was near. Just... how??

I read the first few chapters of this ages ago. I know that so many readers rate this story as a favorite, but I did not feel pulled to continue. Right now my favorite authors seem to be having writers block or something (Sorry. I won't read Blaine's story between age 22 and his death till it's complete), so I gave this another try. I am loving the 'post Maryland' Klaine in this story. So, thanks.

Oh my god you used my favorite song from Once you are my hero please marry me.

Okay, sorry if I'm spamming you with reviews. But chapter 14 was absolutely amazing. The song (for once) was actually something I know, and it was so perfect.

:O that was perfect :)but i know the angst will come cuz of Elliot boo

I just want you to be happy, Kurt whispers, reaching out his hand to touch Blaine's knee. "Isn't that what you do when you really love someone? You want them to be happy, even if it's not with you?" That is perhaps the most wonderful and selfless and mature think anyone could say and I freaking love Kurt for that. What a wonderful young man. That right there should prove it to Blaine that Kurt truly does love him. Thank you and I will continue reading...

Oh damn that song <3 So perfect.

this is a great chapter

Perfect song for this. Good choice. I absolutely love this story.

Oh, this kiss was beautifull...

I just realized that the song is from "Once!" OMGosh soooooo good!! I think this might be my favorite kid!Klaine story!!

So sweet... except for the fact that Blaine's dating someone else. =P Trouble ahead I hope XD I luv drama.

Awwww they kissed, I wish Blaine would break up with Elliot, I'm not to crazy about that guy