"Blaine?" Kurt asks tentatively later that evening.

Blaine's sitting at his desk, feet curled up under him in his chair as he looks at something on his computer screen.

"Yeah?" Blaine replies tiredly.

"Can I – can I talk to you?"

"About what?" Blaine asks, not turning around.

"You're my best friend," Kurt says softly, sinking down onto Blaine's bed.

Blaine finally turns to look at him. Kurt can't read the expression on his face.

"You're my best friend, too."

"It doesn't feel like it."

"I-" Blaine cuts himself off with a sigh. "I don't know what you want me to do."

"I want to be able to talk to you again."

"We talk all the time."

"I need to talk to you about Drew."

The name has an instant effect. Blaine's jaw tenses, the muscles tightening to what looks like a physically painful degree and Kurt thinks he hears the sound of grinding teeth.

"So talk," Blaine eventually says.

"I can't. Not if you're going to be angry with me."

"I'm not angry with you."

"You're angry at something."

"It isn't with you. I promise. Why do you need to talk about Drew? He didn't hurt you or anything, did he?"

"Wha – no. No, he hasn't. It's…something else."

"Okay? What's wrong, then?"

Kurt drops his head. He begins twisting his fingers together nervously, preparing himself to say what he's pretty positive the problem is.

"I think…I'm not…uh, attracted to him. Physically, I mean."

"…Why do you think that?"

"Because whenever he kisses me, nothing happens," Kurt says bluntly.

"What do you mean by nothing?"

"As in, I get no pleasure or satisfaction out of the act itself. At all. As in, I lied and told him I had to pee yesterday when we were in the library, making out in between the far shelves. He tried to…y'know, like, touch me. And I pretty much ran away because I didn't want him to know how aroused I wasn't."

Blaine's eyebrows shoot up near his forehead in surprise. Obviously he wasn't expecting this specific discussion.

"Why do you keep kissing him, then?" Blaine wonders.

"I guess maybe because I feel like if I do it enough…something will eventually happen. And it's not – I mean, I like hanging out with him. He's a nice guy."

"If you're not attracted to someone, Kurt, you're not attracted. There's not really that much you can do about it."

"Oh god," Kurt groans out of nowhere. "What if I'll never be attracted to anyone ever? What if I'm ruined?"

"Wha – how – what?"

"What if you ruined me for all other men?"

He hears laughter bubble up into Blaine's throat and out his mouth. "I seriously doubt that's the case."

"But there's nothing wrong with Drew," Kurt drones miserably. "He's nice, he's funny, he laughs at my stupid jokes. He holds the door open whenever we go places, he's not bad looking. He's just – just not-"

"Not the kind of guy you're into," Blaine finishes for him.

"What am I supposed to do?" Kurt asks, looking over at Blaine helplessly.

Blaine looks to bite back a sigh, but he abandons his desk chair in favor of the open spot beside Kurt on the bed.

"It…sounds to me like you two are better off as friends. I mean, obviously I'm no expert in the boyfriend department, but it just sounds like, you know, like you'd be leading him on kind of. If you kept seeing him. And kissing him."

"So you think I should just leave him?"

"Well how many times have you guys kissed?"

"Uh," Kurt blushes, "a bit."

"A lot, a bit?"

"Maybe."

"And you still don't feel anything?"

"No."

"I think you have your answer, then," Blaine shrugs in response.

Kurt groans in frustration and falls sideways on the bed, face down into the comforter. He mumbles something unintelligible.

"What was that?" Blaine asks.

"I said boyfriends are too much work. You had the right idea all along."

"Don't say that," Blaine says softly. "If it wasn't for the attraction thing, I'm sure it would work out just fine between you and Drew."

From his spot in the bed, Kurt angles his head so he can look over at Blaine. He looks…kind of lost. And a little bit sad.

"Maybe," Kurt whispers.

Blaine tilts his head to the side, brows furrowed and mouth drawn into a tight line. He says nothing. He simply looks at Kurt, that expression stuck on his face, and he doesn't move an inch. Kurt stares back. He's pretty sure he's looking a little forlorn.

Maybe hopeful.

Because all he wants is Blaine to crawl up beside him, to kiss him, to make him feel that fire again.

He doesn't. He leaves Kurt with a small smile, a friendly pat on the leg, and walks into the bathroom to take a shower.

"Hey, Kurt," Drew greets happily the next day just as Kurt is leaving Warblers rehearsal.

"Hi," Kurt says slowly, attempting to avoid eye contact. They're supposed to go eat dinner.

Kurt can't do that.

"I – I need to talk to you," Kurt states.

Drew lifts an eyebrow as though he's more concerned than confused, but he nods anyway.

"Okay."

The rest of the Warblers have filed out of the room so Kurt leads Drew inside. He leans his hip against a table, eyes cast downward as he drags a finger along the length of the tabletop.

"What's going on?" Drew wonders.

Kurt swallows hard. He's afraid to look up.

He doesn't want to do this. He doesn't want to hurt anyone.

"Kurt?"

"I can't be your boyfriend anymore," Kurt finally blurts.

"…Okay. Why not?"

Kurt's eyes shoot up to stare at Drew.

Why…is he so calm?

"Why are you so calm?"

"Well you haven't given me a reason," Drew shrugs. "I'm not going to jump to conclusions."

In that moment, Kurt kind of hates himself because Drew is so damn understanding, so damn nice about it all. And he's going to have to end it.

Drew deserves better.

Kurt never should have entered this – this thing at all, not when he knew he wasn't really over Blaine.

"I – I just think we're better off as friends. I like spending time with you; I love it, actually. Just when it comes to…everything else…I don't – don't have those feelings for you."

He averts his gaze once more. Drew falls quiet but Kurt can feel his eyes boring into the side of his face. Kurt almost wishes he could simply run out and have that be the end of it but he knows that's the biggest cheat in the entire world. So his feet remain planted on the big, ornate rug covering the old wooden floor as he waits for a response.

"Alright."

For the second time in the span of five minutes, Drew shocks him. Kurt stares, mouth gaping open in confusion.

"What?"

"I said alright."

"…That's it?"

"Well, yeah. If that's how you feel, or how you don't feel, there's nothing I can do to change that."

"Why are you being so understanding?"

"Because that's life," Drew shrugs. "Relationships don't always work out. People move on. I'll be okay, Kurt."

Kurt wants to cry.

"That being said…I get the feeling that this isn't just about your lack of feelings for me, but also the fact that you might have feelings for someone else."

"Don't," Kurt says immediately, turning to face away from Drew.

"You should probably tell him," Drew presses.

"There's nothing to tell. He doesn't – he'll never want me like that."

"How can you be so sure if you won't tell him how you feel?"

"Because he doesn't want a boyfriend. I know that for a fact."

"You don't always have to label everything, Kurt. Not everything is that black and white."

"He doesn't even care for me that way," Kurt finally turns back around, wiping away a stray tear.

"Has he said as much?"

"Well, no. But when we – he – we're just friends."

"You love him," Drew states.

"I – I can't-"

"With all the hate in this world," Drew begins, voice soft and smooth, "no one should ever deny the existence of love. Not when it seems like hate might outweigh it in the end."

"M-my heart will break when he doesn't say it back."

Drew takes a step closer. He leans down, without a word, and kisses Kurt's forehead. When he pulls back, he places a hand on Kurt's shoulder and stares intently into his eyes.

"Better to chance it, I think. You should always take a chance at happiness. And more than anything, I think you deserve happiness."

He smiles down on Kurt one last time, turns, and walks out of the room.

Kurt remains still, pulse racing, and a single sob echoes off the tastefully decorated walls of the senior commons.