Kurt Hummel was proud of himself. He had meticulously hunted for every possible valuable or breakable thing in the living room and kitchen area and hidden the items out of sight.

Everything looked pretty drunkard-proof.

"You know you'll be replacing dad's liquor stash, don't you?" Kurt asked his brother. "Because this whole thing was your idea."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Finn told him. "Plus, Puck's bringing over a bunch of beer and a couple bottles of stuff that his friend got him. So we won't kill all of dad's liquor."

Thank god, Kurt thought. He had even been smart enough to hide the oldest bottles of wine and whiskey his father had in their parents' bedroom closet, just in case.

"Is anyone the designated driver tonight?" Kurt asked.

"Anthony, Mercedes' guy is waiting for calls if anyone needs to go home. I figured some people might just crash here anyway."

"Ah," Kurt understood, ripping open a bag of red and blue solo cups. He found this terribly cliché.

Finn was hunting for shot glasses in one of the cabinets when he suddenly stopped a turned to Kurt with a nervous expression.

"Why do you look like you just saw our parents having sex?" Kurt asked, slightly alarmed.

"Dude, wha – SO not okay! Don't even – ew. No." Finn shivered in horror at the thought. "I just…need to…ask you. For something."

"So ask."

"Uh…so I know that like, Rachel hasn't even let me get to second base yet. But I don't uh…know what she's like when she's drunk," Finn attempted to explain.

"And this has to do with me because…?"

"Well I just wanted to be like, prepared. Just in case she…you know. Decides to…"

The color drained from Kurt's face. "Please tell me that you are not asking me for sexual advice."

"No! Dude, no. I just wanted…to know if…you had…"

"Please. Just spit it out."

"Condoms. I wanted to know if you had any condoms. That you'd let me have. Just in case," Finn finished awkwardly, suddenly finding the cabinet door very interesting.

Kurt breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god. I'm glad that's all. Yes, I have plenty. I'll just…go get them. For you."

As Kurt ran to his bedroom, Finn found a bunch of shot glasses and lined them up on the counter. Kurt returned with a whole strip of the foil wrappers.

"Dude, I don't think we're gonna be going at-" he counted the condoms that Kurt handed him, "- six times!"

"Keep the rest," Kurt said, slicing up a few limes. "I have plenty more."

Finn flushed a deep crimson color but thankfully they were saved, literally, by the doorbell. Everyone slowly started trickling into the Hummel-Hudson home, Puck being one of the first, arriving with three large paper sacks.

"We're not trying to drown in alcohol," Kurt said, taking one of the bags from him and setting it on the counter.

"Always better to have too much than not enough!" Puck returned with a grin.

"I brought mixers!" Santana called as she walked into the kitchen, her arms laden with twelve packs of sodas.

"You're an angel," Kurt said with a kiss to her cheek.

"Never thought you'd be one to throw a party," Santana said. "Not after-"

"It was Finn's idea," Kurt said promptly. "And I'm fairly certain none of you will attempt to drug me. Though Blaine has his doubts about Boozy McGee over here." Kurt gestured to Puck.

"Oh yeah, 'cause you know, all I want is your nice, thick c-"

"Don't knock it till you've tried it," Kurt interrupted the other boy.

Puck's face fell and the doorbell rang again. Kurt ran to answer it, and gave a huge smile when he saw Blaine on his doorstep.

"Hey – ohmygod."

"I had to bring him."

"Blaine, it's a fern."

"I didn't know how many days I'd be staying," Blaine said, entering the house with the potted fern in his hands. "My parents left for Seattle this morning and since yours are gone too, I figured I'd just stay here for a few days. If you wanted me to. And I couldn't leave Herman on his own for a whole week."

"IT'S. A. PLANT."

"It represents our love," Blaine said firmly, following Kurt into the living room and setting the fern on the mantle above the fireplace. "If I'd left him at home, it would effectively have been a metaphor for me neglecting our love. And I don't neglect our love."

Kurt shook his head, resigned to the fact that, obviously, Blaine had some sort of mental condition he refused to tell Kurt about. Kurt was going to have to kill Jared for giving them the thing in the first place. He took Blaine's bag off of his shoulder.

"Fine. The plant can stay on the mantle while you're here," he relented.

"Herman," Blaine corrected him. "He has a name."

"HERMAN, then. Herman can stay while you're here."

Blaine smiled brightly and kissed Kurt's cheek.

"Go make yourself a drink, I'll take this down to my room," Kurt said before making his way down to his basement room, leaving Blaine with everyone else in the kitchen.

"Hobbit number two!" Puck greeted happily, clapping a hand on Blaine's shoulder. "Pick your poison."

Blaine's eyes skimmed over the variety of drinks and mixers on the table. "Vodka Sprite, one lime, on the rocks."

"Oh, a professional?" Puck mocked, beginning to make the drink order. "Maybe when I'm too wasted to remember my name tonight, you can take over as bartender."

"Only if you're good," Blaine said patronizingly.

Artie and Brittany appeared, the kitchen officially packed full of Glee club kids. Finn went into the living room and turned the stereo to some generic station that played party mixes all night and ran into Kurt, who returned from his room.

"So if we end up playing drunk games," Finn told his brother, "we make a deal right now that we don't have to do anything with each other."

"Deal," Kurt said, shaking his hand before rejoining everyone in the kitchen. He walked up behind Blaine and looped his arms around his boyfriend's waist. "Make me something?"

"…You're sure you want to drink?" Blaine asked hesitantly over his shoulder.

"I won't leave my cup anywhere unattended and I have faith that you will take care of me."

"Alright then," Blaine said, holding his cup up so Kurt could take it. "Have a sip."

Kurt did, letting the taste wash over his tongue before giving his verdict. "A huge improvement over trashcan punch."

"Anything's an improvement over trashcan punch," Blaine said, moving over to the counter so that he could mix Kurt a drink. "Except for a bathtub brew. Or pretty much any mixture of liquids being held in a large container." He handed Kurt his drink.

"Duly noted," Kurt said, taking his cup.

"Okay!" Puck's voice rang through the group loudly. "For you novices here, rule of thumb: liquor before beer, you're in the clear. Beer before liquor, get sicker quicker."

"Catchy," Mercedes returned, sipping at her own drink.

Puck made a face at her and held up a shot glass. "I say we get this night started with a round of shots!"

Everyone gave a cheer, toasted to their win at Sectionals, and tossed their shots back.

And so the party began! Finn turned up the music and everyone began dancing around the house with their drink of choice in hand. The liquor supply slowly diminished and Kurt was immediately thankful that Puck had brought so much.

"I spy a love fern," Tina said to Kurt, kissing him on the cheek as she sat next to him at the kitchen table, watching Artie, Mike, and Sam play quarters.

"He refused to leave it at home," Kurt explained, already on his second drink and feeling nice and warm. "Something about a metaphor for neglecting our love."

"Everyone's hoping for a show tonight," Quinn said with a small smile, standing behind Kurt and leaning her head on his shoulder.

"What kind of show?" Kurt had to ask.

"Between you and your hot sexy monkey boyfriend," Tina clarified.

"What is it with people wanting to watch us have sex?"

"Because it's kind of hot," Sam said from the other end of the table, making a quarter in. "YES!"

"Sam, baby, your gay is showing," Quinn told her boyfriend.

Sam just shrugged and Kurt looked on in confusion. "What, is being gay like, the new cool thing to do?"

"Seems like it," Artie said, missing his shot. "At least in this group of misfits."

"I tried convincing Mike to make out with this guy we met at the mall," Tina spoke again.

"He had freaky eyes!" Mike called.

"You close them when you kiss," Sam reminded him. "You're just creepy if you don't."

Kurt shook his head in amusement and looked over to the corner where Blaine, Rachel, and Mercedes were dancing by the stereo. Well, they weren't really dancing. They were just kind of moving around in a…less than rhythmic fashion. Kurt looked his boyfriend up and down, the black cardigan he was wearing fit him well and the jeans he had on were super dark and super tight.

Kurt decided, in his tipsy condition, that if everyone wanted a show, Kurt would gladly give them one.

"Never have I ever!" Rachel yelled. "Let's play never have I ever!"

"Rach, we know like, everything about everyone," Finn said, kissing the top of her head.

Rachel eyed Kurt. "Not everything."

Everyone refilled their drinks and gathered around on the living room floor.

"Wait so you drink if you have done whatever the person says?" Brittany needed to make sure. She had her head on Santana's shoulder.

"Yup," Puck answered. "And when it's your turn, you can even say something you've done. So it can be a lie or the truth, it doesn't matter. But if you've done whatever anyone says, you have to drink."

"Well, this is going to be interesting," Kurt grumbled next to Blaine. He wasn't too sure if he wanted to get to know everyone…that well.

"I'll start, since it was my idea," Rachel began. "Never have I ever consumed an entire bag of Oreo cookies in one setting."

Kurt snorted and watched as every single guy, including Blaine but excluding himself, took a drink.

"Ugh, and you didn't puke after?" Kurt asked his boyfriend.

"Never!" Blaine returned with a smile.

Finn took it to be his turn. "Never have I ever walked in on my parents having sex."

Santana took a drink. "I was like, five, okay. I was so confused."

"Never have I ever…" Sam had to rack his brain for something to say, "made out with someone in a swimming pool or a hot tub."

Oh, Kurt thought, remembering one heated summer afternoon at Blaine's house. There had been a swimming pool. He saw Blaine shoot him a knowing grin as they both drank, as well as Finn, Quinn, Santana, Brittany, Tina, and Mike.

Quinn was up next. "Never have I ever swore in front of a teacher."

Everyone drank. Yeah, Glee club was like that.

"Never have I ever had sex while my parents were home," Mercedes said. She pointed to Kurt. "You better take more than one drink, I know you."

Blaine snorted into his cup as everyone except Finn, Rachel, Mike, Tina, and Mercedes herself took a drink.

"Never have I ever made out with a guy," Puck announced, taking a drink at his own sentence, and watching as all the girls, plus Kurt and Blaine drank as well.

"You know you can't avoid that story," Artie said from his wheelchair.

Puck shrugged. "Summer camp in middle school, dude. That's all there is to it."

It was Kurt's turn now. "Never have I ever named a plant Herman," he said, purposefully making Blaine drink.

"Oh you want to play it like that?" Blaine asked his boyfriend with a slightly evil smile. "Fine. Never have I ever been into dirty talk during sex."

"Oh god," Kurt groaned in embarrassment, taking a drink, as did Blaine, Puck, and Santana.

"So did not need to know that," Finn mumbled.

"I'd get used to it," Sam told him. "At least for tonight. You're probably gonna find out a ton of things you didn't want to know."

"Oh my god, I totally want examples," Puck said to the couple. "At least one."

"Noah!" Kurt squeaked, blushing down to his chest.

"Dude, you can't just say that and then not give me anything!"

"Maybe when we've had more to drink," Blaine said next to Kurt. "God knows it'll all come out then."

"You're fucking evil," Kurt growled. "And I hate you."

"Oh shut up, you love it when I call you a-"

"Ah!" Kurt slapped his hand over Blaine's mouth. "Don't you dare!"

They continued the game until it was Kurt's turn again.

"Never have I ever had to tell my boyfriend's dad that he didn't plan on taking my virginity on our three month anniversary."

Blaine stuck his middle finger up at Kurt as he was the only one in the circle to take a drink.

"Ha! Thank actually happened?" Finn said between a few laughs.

"Yes," Blaine said shortly. "Never have I ever passed out from getting a blow job."

Kurt drank. "You. Are such. A dick."

"But you love my dick," Blaine countered.

"Oh my god," Puck snorted. "You passed out?"

"You are not getting that story. Not ever, Noah Puckerman," Kurt said sternly.

By the time they went around again, Rachel was probably the least drunk one of the group. Mercedes and Tina were laughing uncontrollably, Blaine was sucking on Kurt's neck, and a bunch of others were eyeing the couple speculatively.

"It's officially time for spin the bottle," Puck announced, retrieving an empty liquor bottle from the kitchen.

"Oh, Kurt. Hey. Kurt. Kurt, Kurt."

"WHAT Finn?"

"Remu – reme – remember our deal," he said drunkenly.

"I remember," Kurt replied, his voice slurring slightly. "We even had a handshake."

"Blaine, you should prop – probably stop sucking on your boyfriend's neck so we can play," Sam said.

"But I promised that I'd – that I wouldn't neglect our love," Blaine pouted, pulling away from Kurt reluctantly.

"You don't neglect our love," Kurt said, trailing an unsteady finger down Blaine's cheek. "You're the best at love. You're so lovely."

Blaine smiled a drunken, happy smile.

"Okay, someone spin the bottle," Puck reminded them, the bottle now in the middle of the circle.

The first round was pretty tame. Tina ended up kissing Sam and Mike, Quinn had to kiss Artie, Brittany and Santana had to kiss each other twice, Puck had to kiss Mercedes, Kurt and Blaine had to kiss each other (drunk Kurt decided that the bottle obviously had magical powers and knew that Blaine was the only one Kurt wanted to kiss), and Finn and Rachel shared a kiss as well. The second round proved to be a little more interesting.

Puck spun the bottle and it landed on Blaine.

"Looks like you finally get your gay dream make out session," Blaine slurred.

"Shut up and just kiss," Puck grumbled, crawling over to the other boy.

Their lips met and Kurt watched in fascination as, okay, yeah Puck really knew how to kiss and he cupped the back of Blaine's neck with his hand. His drunken mind immediately registered this as one of the hottest things he'd ever seen and wow, listen to that. Puck was moaning into the kiss when Blaine swiped his tongue over Puck's bottom lip.

Yeah. Kurt knew the feeling. He sympathized.

When the two parted, the group seemed to come to a general consensus on the matter.

"That was like, weirdly awesome," Mike spoke for them all.

"Puck, baby, you were ALL up on that!" Mercedes shouted, everyone catcalling at the statement.

"Did I do good?" Blaine asked his boyfriend for approval.

"Well he made nice sounds," Kurt reminded him. "Must have done something right."

"Hummel, I will say this," Puck said over the loud group. "Your man knows what he's doing."

"O' course I do," Blaine said, nuzzling his face into Kurt's neck.

Finn spun the bottle and it landed on Blaine.

"Oh snap!" Puck laughed, pointing at Finn. "Bet you didn't make a deal for this part!"

"Shit," Finn groaned.

"Hey, hey," Blaine said. "You heard Puck. 'M a good kisser."

"But you're Kurt's boyfriend," Finn said. "That's like, against the brother code or something."

"Kurt. Kurt, Kurt. Is it okay if your brother kisses me?" Blaine asked.

"Not watching," Kurt said, covering his eyes. "Not watching."

Blaine crawled over to Finn while Kurt had his eyes covered and pretty much gave him the same kind of kiss that he'd given to Puck, only Finn didn't moan.

"Weird," Finn decided when he pulled away. "That was so weird."

"Super, super weird," Blaine agreed, settling next to Kurt again.

"Is it over? Can I look?"

Blaine pulled Kurt's hands down from his face. "All done."

"Not gonna leave me for my brother, are you?"

"Didn'tcha hear me say the weird part?"

Kurt kissed his cheek and spun the bottle.

It landed…

Between Finn and Rachel.

Who were sitting in front of the fireplace.

"HERMAN!" Blaine announced. "YOU HAVE TO KISS HERMAN!"

"I'm not gonna kiss a plant!"

"IT'S POINTING TO HERMAN! RULES ARE RULES!"

"Herman's not even playing!"

"YOU KISS HERMAN OR YOU KISS FINN!" Blaine shouted. "YOUR CALL."

Finn shot him a terrified look and Kurt stood, stumbling over to the fireplace, almost kicking Rachel in the face. He pressed a light kiss to one of the fluffy leaves and then turned back to Blaine.

"Happy now?"

Blaine clapped excitedly, rolling on the floor laughing. "Herman appreciates your love!"

"You won't be 'ppreciating my love tonight," Kurt said as he fell back to the floor next to Blaine.

"It's a lover's quarrel!" Rachel giggled

"Aww, don't be like that," Blaine pouted, climbing into Kurt's lap and winding his arms around his boyfriend's neck. "I love you so much."

"I love you too but you made me kiss Herman." Kurt couldn't help but wrap his arms around Blaine's waist. "You coulda just told me to kiss you instead."

"You wanna kiss me?" Blaine asked, his voice going slightly deeper, but still slurring his words a bit. He kissed at a spot right below Kurt's ear. "You can kiss me," Blaine said hotly into his ear. Kurt had to bite back a moan, even though everyone around them was still playing spin the bottle and laughing, not really paying much attention to them. "You can kiss me for however long you want."

Blaine let his tongue slip between his lips to dart out and lick at Kurt's earlobe. At that, Kurt could definitely not stay quiet anymore. There was something about the way Blaine always did that – it simply made him melt. So he began whimpering softly as Blaine continued his delicious assault, Kurt's fingers clawing at his boyfriend's cardigan, the one he had been admiring so much earlier.

But now he just wanted it off.

Everything was warm and Kurt felt like he was floating. When Blaine's mouth finally met his in a wet, clumsy kiss, Kurt was dizzy and he felt like he was drowning in the heat of it all. He felt Blaine move and now he was straddling Kurt's lap. Blaine moaned against Kurt's lips quite loudly whenever he could feel exactly just how turned on Kurt was by this.

Behind Blaine, the rest of the drunken Glee club were still playing spin the bottle, and when the bottle was suddenly facing the two boys that were quite obviously busy, they finally stopped to notice them. The music continued playing and they sat, mouths hanging open and watching in various states of surprise and fascination as Kurt's hands slid down Blaine's back to grip his ass, pulling him even closer.

"Wait, wait!" Blaine stopped him, pulling his mouth away from Kurt's. "We can't do this here!"

Kurt's lips attacked Blaine's neck and he spoke in between sharp little bites to the skin there. "They obviously don't care right now." He looked over Blaine's shoulder to give an odd little wink at Sam, who swallowed hard.

"Not – oh god," Blaine groaned when Kurt slid his hands up under his clothing to scratch down his back. "Not them," he breathed.

"What?" Kurt asked, sitting back and looking up and Blaine's face.

Blaine's eyes shot towards the fireplace. "Not in front of Herman."

Kurt stared at his drunken boyfriend in shock. "Get up," he said finally.

"But-"

"Stand up!" Kurt ordered.

Blaine scrambled out of Kurt's lap and stood while Kurt disappeared into the kitchen. When he returned, he had two red cups.

"You drink that one," Kurt said, forcing one of the cups into Blaine's hand. "It's straight vodka, three shots worth. You're gonna drink it and forget about the fucking plant. Because I refuse to be cock blocked by a fern!"

Blaine eyed the cup warily but watched as Kurt swallowed all of the liquid in his cup, so he did the same.

"That…was prop-probably a bit too much," Blaine ended up saying.

"I really don't care," Kurt replied, crushing his body against Blaine's as he reclaimed his lips in a fiery, vodka-laced kiss. He began undoing the buttons on Blaine's cardigan as Blaine groaned in appreciation. Kurt tossed the offensive clothing on the floor and when he removed the grey t-shirt Blaine had been wearing underneath, Finn's voice filled the room.

"Dude, we're still here!"

Kurt turned his head to look at his brother who sat amongst the group of wide-eyed teenagers while Blaine pulled the collar of Kurt's shirt aside and began licking at his clavicle.

"And you can either stay and watch or you can leave," he told Finn.

Finn grabbed Rachel's hand, who immediately began protesting that no, thank you, she did not want to leave and she was fine where she was but if Finn wanted to kiss her, he could. So he finished off what was left in his cup, and kiss her he did. He seemed to want to take any option other than watching his brother go at it with his boyfriend.

"If penises start showing, I'm outie," Artie stated.

"Let's drink more!" Mercedes cried, throwing her hands up in the air. Everyone decided to continue playing never have I ever while Rachel and Finn were making out.

In the meanwhile, Kurt dragged Blaine over to the sofa and pulled the older boy on top of him, hands returning to Blaine's ass to pull their hips together.

"Can't believe," Blaine breathed against Kurt's ear while he reached a hand between them to palm Kurt's erection through his jeans, "we're doing this with all our friends behind me."

"So drunk," Kurt moaned in a form of agreement. "We're so drunk."

"This is the best kind of drunk," Blaine whispered. "You're like a drunk little slut."

Kurt gasped and bit down on Blaine's bare shoulder. He whined in protest when Blaine removed his hand but groaned in satisfaction when Blaine started grinding their hips together. Occasionally, a member of the group on the floor would look over at them and then quickly turn their eyes back to everyone else.

"Oh god, yes," Kurt hissed against Blaine's hot skin.

Those last few shots were finally kicking in and the world was spinning every time Kurt closed his eyes but his skin was on fire and every sensation, every touch, every fucking thrust of Blaine's hips was intensified. He kind of felt like he was going to die if he didn't come soon. Then he remembered reading somewhere that, oh yeah, alcohol made that whole bit more difficult so he raked his fingernails down Blaine's back, causing the other boy to thrust even harder.

"Blaine," he slurred, breathing ragged and his voice rough. "I need-"

"I know," Blaine groaned.

With a clumsy, intoxicated force he didn't know he still had right now, Blaine pushed Kurt down to lie on the sofa, sliding on top of him. He angled their bodies so that their erections pressed into the crook of each others' hips and he ground down hard.

"Oh fuck," Kurt breathed, "yeah, like that…"

"Like this?" Blaine asked with a crooked smile as he thrust again, Kurt's hips meeting him in the motion.

"Yes!"

"Wish I could fuck you," Blaine admitted in a deep voice into his lover's ear. "But then they'd all leave and it'd stop being as hot."

Kurt's eyes darted over to the people in question as Blaine attached his lips to Kurt's pulse point and sucked hard. Everyone was still drinking and still playing the game but they were right there and he knew that some of them were watching, he knew that some of them wanted to see this and for some reason, in his drunken mind it was that much more exciting. When Puck's eyes met his and Blaine gave another sharp thrust, he moaned so loudly that everyone else turned to look at him too. But he didn't want to watch everyone watching him.

"Kiss me," he ordered his boyfriend breathlessly. "Please…"

Blaine crushed their mouths together in a hot, toe-curling kiss, his tongue diving into Kurt's mouth and then Kurt forgot about the other people in the room. He was lost in like, eight million different sensations and finally, finally he felt the tight coiling in his abdomen that signaled that this was all going to be over soon.

"Kurt, fuck," Blaine whined, their hips still grinding. Blaine slid his hands up under Kurt's body on the sofa, one grasping at his back and the other at his shoulder blade.

Kurt's arms wrapped tight around Blaine as well, squeezing and pulling them closer. The alcohol on Blaine's breath didn't diminish the scent of Blaine that suddenly hit him full force and surrounded him. His orgasm finally hit him with an unbelievable force and they'd been at this for so long and it hurt; his body was shuddering with pleasurable spasms and he was whimpering helplessly against Blaine's cheek. Blaine followed just a few seconds later, moaning swears and nonsensical things into Kurt's ear as he came inside his jeans.

They lay there, panting like they'd just run a damn marathon for what seemed like hours until Puck walked over with two more shots in his hand.

"You may have just came your brains out, but this party ain't over yet," he told the sated couple.

Kurt didn't remember anything after that.

When he woke up the next morning, his mouth felt like it was full of cotton and his head was pounding furiously. The sun shone in far too brightly through the window when he cracked his eyes open and he groaned in pain. He felt nauseous and overheated and then he realized just exactly where he was.

He was on the sofa. And he was only in his underwear. His very uncomfortably sticky underwear. He was wrapped around Blaine who was also clad in only his boxers, his curly hair defying gravity and sticking up everywhere.

But Blaine was also wrapped around someone.

Or rather…something.

Herman the fern was clutched in Blaine's arms as he slept.

What the fuck happened last night?

Kurt snorted at the sight before him and then decided, okay, ow, that was a bad idea because every sound he made seemed to echo very painfully in his head.

He took in the sight around him.

Everyone seemed to have passed out on the living room floor, excluding Mercedes, Finn, and Rachel. But everyone that remained also seemed to be in various states of undress.

What the…was that Mike?

Indeed.

Mike Change was on his living room floor, naked as the day he was born, arms wound around a throw pillow.

Oh god, Kurt thought to himself. He was going to have to get rid of that pillow and then come up with some excuse to explain to his parents as to why it was missing.

Kurt glanced at the clock and saw that it read one twenty-three pm.

Puck stirred from his place on the floor, Quinn's head on one of his shoulders and Sam's head on the other. Kurt lifted an eyebrow in curiosity at that sight.

"Is this what hell feels like?" Puck groaned.

"Probably," Kurt returned, his voice hoarse. "Do you even remember what happened?"

"I know I drank my weight in liquor," Puck grumbled. "And that you and sir hobbit had a dry hump session on the sofa."

Kurt dropped his head back down and buried his face in Blaine's hair. "Oh yeah. That happened."

"Sure did," Puck told him. "Finchel disappeared into his bedroom. Santana started crying about cheese. I think Chang over there was doing handstands."

"Oh god, was he clothed?"

"Uh…I think so," Puck tried to recall. "I know I blacked out a couple of times."

"So glad my parents are gone for the week," Kurt sighed. "I am so going back to sleep."

"I want toast," Puck said.

"And we will definitely be having a discussion in regards to how much you enjoyed kissing my boyfriend," Kurt said bluntly, snuggling back down behind Blaine. "THAT, I remember quite clearly."

"He's a good kisser," was all Puck said.

"Or how about why you want to see Blaine and I have sex so badly," Kurt put out there. "Because that part's interesting too."

"Dude, it's like porn."

"Gay porn."

"Porn is porn!"

"Mhmm," Kurt humored him. "Go make your toast."

As he fell back to sleep, he thought about how the Hummel Hudson House Party had been a complete success.

Even if Blaine was outrageously attached to a potted plant. They'd have to have a little talk about his Herman dependency issues.

When he woke again, he was alone on the sofa with a blanket thrown over his half naked body and the sun wasn't glaring quite so brightly. Everyone seemed to have left and Finn had done a fairly good job of picking up their mess for which Kurt was very thankful. He still felt like total shit. He poured his aching body off of the sofa and wrapped the blanket around him, moving over to the kitchen table where Blaine and Finn sat drinking from large bottles of Gatorade with a bunch of chips and crackers on the table between them.

"Morning sunshine," Blaine greeted tiredly but with a smile on his face, pulling the chair out next to him so Kurt could sit down. "How ya feelin'?"

"Morning was about the time we passed out. Evening would be the present. And I feel like death. Predictably so, I guess," Kurt replied, taking a drink from Blaine's bottle of Gatorade.

"We got you one too," Blaine told him. "It's in the fridge."

"Wonderful," Kurt grumbled, resting his head and arms on the cool table top, sure to grip the blanket tight.

He felt Blaine press a kiss to the back of his head. "We ordered pizza."

"Ugh, I don't even want to think about food."

"The grease will be good for you."

Kurt's stomach rolled at the thought.

"It was a good night though," Finn said, shoving a handful of chips into his mouth. "At least, what I can remember."

"Did you and Rachel have sex?" Kurt asked, his voice slightly muffled by his arms. "Because I woke up earlier and Mike was naked, everyone else was half naked, Mercedes left, and you and Rachel were mysteriously absent."

"No," Finn said in a depressed tone. "She jerked me off though."

"Better than nothing, I suppose," Kurt commented.

Finn shrugged and Kurt realized how far their brotherly relationship had come in the past few weeks. They'd come to an agreement about calling Burt and Carole mom and dad and now they could even talk about sex with each other without cringing. They were a lot closer. Maybe it was weird to think about, but…it was kind of nice, having a brother to talk to.

"But you," Kurt said lifting his head to glare at his boyfriend. "When I woke up you had that damn plant clutched to your chest like it was gonna sprout legs and run off. You have a problem."

"Don't talk to me about Herman," Blaine sad. "I remember you passing out on the sofa in the middle of a Santana and Brittany strip tease and I had no one to complain to about it."

"So you thought the fern would help you feel better?"

"Uh…I remember thinking that it represented our love and that if I couldn't love you, I'd have to love it instead," Blaine explained awkwardly. "And I remember thinking about how much I loved Herman and how Herman would always be around and if you ever left me, I'd keep Herman forever. Now I see how odd the thought process was."

"While the fact that you can remember that much is absolutely astounding to me right now, considering I don't remember much of anything, if you start bringing that thing over every time you stay the night, I will pry it from your cold, dead hands and throw it out the window."

"But it's our love fer-"

Kurt held up his hand to signal Blaine to stop speaking.

"I just like that we have something cute like that. Something that's ours," Blaine admitted, eyes looking down at the table.

"What is Klaine, then? He's cute too."

"But he lives in a heavy vase thing and you can't carry him around all the time."

"You won't be carrying Herman around all the time either."

Blaine looked really, really sad, like he'd been denied a puppy and it was so stupid but it made Kurt's heart ache because his boyfriend was being so freaking adorable that he couldn't help but relent just a little bit.

"But if you end up staying the entire weekend," Kurt eventually said, "and by entire I mean by more than one night…I guess Herman can shack up with Klaine on my desk."

Blaine looked up at Kurt through his lashes, gave a tentative smile and let his head rest on his crossed arms on the table. "You mean it?" he asked when their eyes were level.

Kurt couldn't even attempt to suppress his smile at the hopeful look on Blaine's face. "Yeah."

They stayed there, staring at each other lovingly until Finn spoke from across the table.

"Gay guys are weird."

The doorbell rang and Finn got up to answer it, leaving the couple alone.

"So when I said I didn't remember…much, that was mostly the truth. I remember uh…what happened on the sofa. And you kissing Puck and Finn. And pretty much everything before we started going at it on the sofa. But I don't remember a whole lot about after…oh! Except that you told me your teddy bear's name was KURT COBLAINE. Where the hell did you even come up with THAT?"

Blaine blushed fiercely. "Well, the Kurt part is you, obviously. And the Blaine part is me. But the uh…the 'co' part is because you…because of coffee."

"Coffee?"

"Whenever I get coffee I think of you because…we always get coffee," Blaine said quietly. "The first day we met we got coffee and every time we met after that, we got coffee. And we get coffee every morning on the way to school and…you always taste like coffee somehow."

Kurt didn't have the heart to tear his gaze from the peculiar expression on Blaine's face. His eyes were brimming with affection.

"I – I do?"

"Yeah," Blaine whispered. "I like it."

Kurt reached his hand out to hold Blaine's, their eyes still locked on each other's.

"Kurt CoBlaine is a good teddy bear name," Kurt admitted out loud.