June 19, 2012, 4:09 p.m.
Last Chance for a First Dance: Chapter 6
M - Words: 1,448 - Last Updated: Jun 19, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 17/? - Created: Mar 03, 2012 - Updated: Jun 19, 2012 7,574 0 14 0 0
“I want to be your boyfriend,” Kurt pants out when they finally part for air. “I want to be your boyfriend.”
“I’ve never had a real boyfriend.”
“Me neither. But I want you to be it. Him. My boyfriend, I want you to be my boyfriend.”
“I want to be,” Blaine says, chest heaving from lack of oxygen. “I’m scared, but I want to be.”
“Why are you scared?”
“Because I don’t want to screw this up,” Blaine explains. “I like you a lot. I like you so much, but I’m – you don’t know – I just have a lot to deal with in my life. I don’t ever want you to feel like you come second when I have to deal with those things.”
Kurt stares down, searching Blaine’s face in an attempt to figure out exactly what he means. Blaine can’t know what he’ll find there, hidden in the dark circles under his eyes or in the worry lines on his forehead or in the stubble he can feel growing back on his jaw. If he finds anything though, Kurt doesn’t run away and for that, Blaine will be eternally grateful.
“Everyone has a life,” Kurt says. “And everyone has a past. I just want to be a part of your future. If you’ll let me.”
Unable to hold back a smile, Blaine’s lips quirk up and he kisses Kurt once more, a chaste meeting of damp, soft flesh.
“Then I guess I’ll have to let you.”
Kurt’s eyes light up at once and he flops back down onto the bed.
“I have a boyfriend,” he sighs aloud into the room.
“Yeah, you do,” Blaine says, staring up at the ceiling. “And so do I.”
“My dad is going to want to meet you,” Kurt tells him. “But don’t be nervous! He’s awesome. And he’ll adore you.”
“Uh…when do you think he’ll want to meet me?”
“Soon, I would think. Maybe I’ll invite you over for dinner next week.”
Blaine chews on his lip, deep in thought. Fathers definitely aren’t his forte. But he’s pretty sure that Kurt’s dad means a lot to him, especially knowing that Kurt’s mother died when he was so young. So…it looks like he’ll have to make the best of it.
“Let me know,” Blaine says. “So I can make sure my mom comes home.”
“Where is she, anyway?” Kurt wonders. “It’s getting pretty late.”
“…She’s out somewhere. With friends from work. She was – she was supposed to be home after work so I wouldn’t have to watch Bethany.”
Turning his head on the pillow, Kurt stares at Blaine in confusion.
“She went out with friends instead of coming home to watch her daughter?”
“Don’t sound so shocked,” Blaine grumbles, sitting up on the bed because he’s not sure if he’s ready to have this conversation either.
“Does she…do this often?”
“More often than I know she’d care to admit.”
“Hm.”
“Thanks for paying for dinner, by the way,” Blaine says. “You really didn’t have to.”
“I know,” Kurt replies, sitting up as well and settling a warm hand on Blaine’s back. “But I wanted to. I don’t – I – I’ve never had the chance to pay for a date before. I’ve never been able to buy someone else anything. Someone that wasn’t just a friend, I mean.”
“Oh,” Blaine says, hoping he doesn’t let on to the fact that he thought it was for another reason entirely. “Well, thanks. Um…again.”
“Of course,” Kurt whispers, hand rubbing circles on the small of Blaine’s back by now.
They fall silent, and Blaine’s thoughts become muddled. He actually wants to tell Kurt about the fact that he wouldn’t have been able to pay for dinner for he and his sister both, but he just let on about his mother being a letdown and he doesn’t know if he should add more drama to the conversation. He looks back over his shoulder to see Kurt staring at him, like maybe he’s waiting for something or maybe he’s just content to sit in silence. Blaine’s a terrible judge in regards to that kind of stuff. But Kurt – Kurt paid for dinner and talked about his dead mother and was nice to his sister and he drew her a dress and Blaine feels like he might not ever be able to repay such honesty and kindness without giving Kurt a little bit more insight to his life.
So he heaves a deep breath and says, “I wouldn’t have been able to pay. If Bethany hadn’t been able to eat for free, I couldn’t have gone out with you tonight because I wouldn’t have been able to pay for both of us. And if we ever go out again, I don’t know if I would be able to pay for everything like you did tonight because I don’t have any money. I mean, I have money. I’ve got like, twelve bucks in my wallet, but the only reason I have it is because my mom gives me thirty dollars every week to take care of Bethany. I don’t have time to get a job because we can’t afford a babysitter so I can’t – I don’t ever get to do things for myself. The money she gives me goes toward Bethany so I can buy her food and take her to the movies and stuff.”
He ends his story and he’s met with only the echo of his words on his bare bedroom walls. Kurt’s hand pauses on his back.
“…Why didn’t you say anything before?”
“Because I didn’t want you to know.”
Kurt scoots up on the bed so that Blaine doesn’t have to crane his neck to look him in the eye.
“Don’t be afraid to tell me stuff like that,” Kurt says fervently.
“I didn’t want you to think-”
“I think that you’re selfless and I think that it’s very nice of you to use that money on your sister rather than yourself. I think it makes you responsible and I think it makes you a fantastic brother. Something like that does not reflect negatively on you and I don’t want you to ever think that it does.”
His words hit Blaine in the chest, straight in the heart, almost like a bullet that splinters and causes the tension to bleed from his body.
“I – I-” he can’t get the words out. He doesn’t know what the words are in the first place, but Blaine can get them out either way.
“Come here,” Kurt says, hand on Blaine’s shoulder as he tugs him back down to lie on the bed. Blaine goes without question and curls into Kurt’s side, resting his head on Kurt’s chest. “Close your eyes.”
Blaine huffs out a strangled breath but does as he’s told, closing his eyes and listening the sound of Kurt’s heartbeat beneath his shirt. It’s absolutely bizarre, he thinks, that he feels so at home wrapped around Kurt. His boyfriend only knows a portion of his life story, and it isn’t the shiniest of tales, yet he’s still here. In fact, Blaine feels closer to Kurt than he did ten minutes ago when they were kissing each other breathless. He feels warm, safe, and more relaxed than he thinks he’s been in years.
“Go to sleep,” Kurt whispers before pressing a kiss to the top of Blaine’s head. “I’ll stay until then.”
Sleeping next to someone isn’t nearly as difficult as Blaine thought it would be. He thought he’d be too worried about kicking in his sleep or snoring to actually fall asleep, but that’s not the case. Instead, he feels completely at ease with the boy he’s only known for two days. Blaine sinks into Kurt, shuffling closer and he sighs in contentment when Kurt’s arms tighten around his body. He’s cocooned in affection and he drifts off almost too easily.
Blaine only wakes twice; once, when Kurt slides out from under him and plants a goodnight and goodbye kiss to his forehead, and twice when he hears his mother stumble in the front door near three am. The sounds of her footsteps are accompanied by another set tonight. The second set of footsteps are heavier with a shorter stride, and Blaine rolls over when he sees light through the crack under his door, covering his head with a pillow before struggling to sleep once more.
Comments
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This is brilliant. Bethany is very well written. You write her as a realistic 8 year old and I find that's rare - I don't like when people include children in their stories only to write them just like adults, but you show her so well. The gradual revealing of Blaine's life and his past is interesting and everything is well written. I cannot wait for more.
Poor boy forced to grow up too soon!
I got sucked into the story instead of getting ready for work and now I will be late...but totally worth it :)
This is amazing. You are hitting so many emotional buttons and it's simply glorious.
This story is beautiful but also has an underlying tone of sadness. I hope that Kurt can make Blaine happy and that somehow Burt and Carol might be able to help Blaine with taking care of Bethany. I also hope that Blain's mother wises up to the situation and takes responsibility for her own children. I live in Arkansas and for years people here have been saying that the older Duggar girls are raising the younger children. Granted Jim Bob and Michelle are not hanging out in bars, but I always get a little sad when I see young people missing out because they are always taking care of younger siblings.
Oh god life going to be hard on Blaine ... I hope he can be happy with Kurt ... Seriouslly mum needs to pull her self together
I just loved this moment: "Kurt's eyes light up at once and he flops back down onto the bed. "I have a boyfriend," he sighs aloud into the room." This is totally what I did the first time a I got a boyfriend - except he wasn't in the room:)
This is really intriguing so far, and very well written. Looking forward to more!
Not to Kurt and Blaine, it isn't.
Thats a little soon isn't it?
oh god, that mom! poor blainersi DO think kurt and blaine got together too soon, without knowing each other better, but i guess their connection was so strong they couldn't help it.. still i'm gonna love the journey of them getting to really know each other..
Really really loving this story.... I am dreading the angst to come but im a sucker for anything that pulls at my heartstrings...
I love this :)