Aug. 28, 2011, 7:44 p.m.
Filling In The Gaps: You Miss Them
T - Words: 922 - Last Updated: Aug 28, 2011 Story: Closed - Chapters: 4/? - Created: Jul 28, 2011 - Updated: Aug 28, 2011 4,113 0 0 0 0
They're sitting in the car, heading back to Dalton after New Directions' Night of Neglect concert. Blaine glances at Kurt, taking his eyes off the road for just a split second to see Kurt leaning his head against the passenger side window. Kurt releases a deep sigh and a shiver. It's cold, even in the car. Blaine reaches out to turn up the heat and turn down the radio.
"You want to go back to McKinley," Blaine states, just loud enough to be heard over the faint sound of the music.
"What?" Kurt responds suddenly, turning to look at his boyfriend.
"You want to go back to McKinley," he says again.
"Wha – no, I love Dalton." Kurt fixes his eyes on the road.
"No you don't."
"Yes, I-"
"No. You like Dalton. You've adjusted to Dalton. But you love your home."
"People were vile to me."
"Maybe some were. But it's where your friends are, where your family is. And that makes it home."
"Can we not talk about this?" Kurt shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
"Don't you want to?"
"No."
"Kurt…I saw the way you looked at them. You miss them so much."
"What does it matter if I miss them or not? I'm at Dalton now. I've made friends there. Things are fine, Blaine. Besides, I can't go back."
Blaine bites his lip, eyes locked on the road in front of him as they barrel down the highway in order to reach Dalton in time before curfew hits. But out of the corner of his eye, even in the darkened car, he can see that Kurt is tense. His fingers drum frantically on his knees, his back is ramrod straight and his jaw is set in a stubborn line, shadowed by the passing streetlights.
"But I want you to go back," Blaine finally says, just above a whisper.
"You – you what?"
"I want you to go back to McKinley."
Kurt turns to stare at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in shock. "You want me to leave you?"
"No not like – Kurt, of course I want you to go back to McKinley. I don't want you to leave me, not like that. But I want you to be with your friends and see your dad every day. He and Carole just got married and you haven't even set up your new room in your new house yet because you've been boarding at Dalton. I want you to go back to your life."
"But I," Kurt swallows hard. "I wouldn't get to see you every day."
"Not every day, no. I mean I'd try and see you as often as possible. At night and on the weekends and stuff. And I'm sure we'd text all the time and call on the nights we can't see each other."
After staring at the side of Blaine's head for a few long moments, Kurt returns his gaze to the passing scenery outside the car window. He's quiet for a while, at least for another five miles until he breathes out a whisper.
"I don't think I can handle only nights and weekends just yet."
Blaine smiles sadly to himself. He takes one hand off the steering wheel and reaches over to Kurt's knee, placing his hand atop Kurt's stiff fingers.
"Eventually, though."
"Karofsky's still there," Kurt points out, turning his palm upwards to entwine his fingers with Blaine's. "I highly doubt he's changed his way of thinking."
"Maybe not yet."
Kurt sighs heavily. "He needs to be educated. Painfully so. Like maybe someone should beat it into his head with a hockey stick. He needs some serious help."
Laughing slightly, Blaine tugs their connected hands to his mouth and presses a soft kiss to one of Kurt's knuckles. "I like that you're still thinking of ways to help him, even after what he did to you. You have a good heart, Kurt, even with your sarcastic bite."
"It's for my own benefit, I assure you."
"Possibly."
The two fall silent again. The last word fades into the darkness as the sound of the radio fills the car again. Kurt's right, Blaine knows that. He isn't safe at McKinley while Karofsky still roams the halls looking for a scapegoat or some kind of target. And Kurt's safety is one of Blaine's top priorities, it always has been.
Ever since the day they met.
But he knows Kurt can't stay at Dalton forever. Or perhaps 'can't' isn't the best word; 'won't' is probably more apt. Either way, Blaine is perfectly aware that Kurt doesn't belong at Dalton Academy. There's a fire in him that refuses to be snuffed out and Blaine wouldn't take Kurt any other way. In fact, since Kurt came into his life, Blaine's beginning to think that a few embers might still be left of his own fire, burning red and raw, waiting for oxygen, waiting for that moment to rekindle.
Kurt might just be his breath of fresh air.
He kisses Kurt's knuckle again.
"I just want you to be happy," Blaine says quietly.
Kurt turns his head, eyes glittering in the dark, and says, "I'm happy with you." He smiles.
Blaine smiles in return and they fall into silence once again until they reach Dalton. The conversation isn't over, that much is obvious. Kurt might think that he needs only Blaine for now, but eventually the day will come when he realizes it isn't so.
Blaine won't be enough forever.
But he knows that, on the day Kurt finally realizes he needs his friends and family, he'll stand by him no matter what. Blaine will always see to Kurt's happiness. Even if he only gets nights and weekends.
Because it won't ever be goodbye. He'll never say goodbye to Kurt.
END.