There are a few things Blaine knows.

Only Katniss, Beetee and Finnick were rescued. He and Quinn are in a stinking cellar with all the other tributes that lived. Except for Peeta. Blaine knows Peeta isnt in Thirteen. Peeta was in the gripper with him, Peeta is somewhere in the Capitol.

Blaine knows hes somewhere underground and there are rats. The first night, or day, or the first time he fell asleep anyway, he was woken up by rats walking on his face. Hes used to the rats now, they dont wake him up when they walk on his face anymore. Unless they pee. If the rats pee on his face he wakes up.

He knows Quinn is very ill, but there is nothing he can do about it. He knows they get meals whenever someone thinks to feed them and he knows Quinn is throwing most of it up. Something is very wrong with Quinn. The last thing Blaine knows is theyre running out of time.

There is one thing Blaine doesnt know. He doesnt know why the Capitol wont just kill them. Every day is a struggle and every day is hell. If he had the chance, if he had anything he could do it with, he would probably end everything himself.

He doesnt want to say it out loud, not to Quinn and not to Johanna, but this is worse than any Arena he has ever witnessed. Its constantly dark, the only light they receive a tiny stripe from the door frame. Theyve been here for a few days now, or maybe a couple of years, and Blaine can already feel the drag of not seeing daylight again. Its like when he locked himself in the piano room in his house but twenty times worse. Or seventy times. He doesnt really have a sense of anything anymore.

Blaine hasnt been taken away yet the way Johanna has. She came back drenched and delirious, refusing to talk. First she refused to talk period, now she only refuses to talk about what had happened to her. Whatever it is, though, Blaine prays to everything he can think of that they will take him first. He needs to know what is going to happen so he can prepare Quinn. Enobaria is in the room with them as well. The dungeon, or cellar, or whatever it is, is crowded with the four of them. It smells, it stinks and when Johanna had come back completely soaked Blaine was hopeful for a moment. He thought for just a little while that maybe they had let her take a shower, or a bath. Nothing was less true, of course, they had somehow tortured her with water. Blaine assumes they might have tried to drown her. But they didnt kill her. Why wont they just kill them?

Quinn is currently resting, her head in Blaines lap. He tries to keep the rats and the mice away from her but he fails. At least theyre not walking on her face, he can keep her face safe. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps, so angelic. He strokes her hair softly, tries to sing her a song. He starts the sounds in his throat, but his mouth wont form the words. He is tired, he is angry and hes desperate. He doesnt want to close his eyes, he needs to look at Quinn.

As long as he looks at Quinn he doesnt have to think about anything else. Just about how her cheekbones are more defined than ever. He doesnt look at her ribcage or her hipbones, when he looks at those he understand why her cheekbones are more defined. Its because shes lost a lot of weight since theyve been thrown into this place. When shes awake he likes to look into her eyes, even if theyre not the same eyes he always knew anymore. Theyre not warm, or motherly, not as caring as before. When she speaks her voice is jagged, and hollow. Shes emotional, there hasnt been a moment since they woke up in this place that she didnt touch Blaine. There is always a hand on his knee, a head on his shoulder or a finger linked with his. He revels in the touch, mostly, but there are times he wishes it wasnt there.

He wishes it wasnt necessary. He is scared, still, of what is yet to come. Enobaria had been taken away a little while ago, but she had come back practically unharmed. Blaine assumes it helps her case that she was trying to kill them up until the escaping moment. Hes still waiting, waiting for the time they come to him. He knows he wont be as lucky as Enobaria. He wonders, too, why she is even in here with them. Its obvious she wasnt in on the plan and that she is on the Capitols side. She is a career victor, close with the Capitol, why wouldnt she be?

She doesnt talk to them, at all, mostly glares at them angrily when they catch her gaze. Right now Blaine does everything he can to avoid her gaze, since shes crouched over in the corner theyve dubbed their toilet area. Its gross, but it has to happen and so hes glad theyre all decent enough to keep to that corner.

Quinn stirs in his lap as soon as there is sound in the room, and Blaine wishes shed sleep as fast as he does. He doesnt even wake up from animals walking on his face anymore and Quinn wakes up from the faint sound of a pee stream. She blinks her eyes open and for a short while theyre hopeful. Blaine knows the feeling, has it every time he wakes up. That fleeting moment of wishing, hoping, sometimes even truly believing, it was all a terrible nightmare.

His nightmares arent even as bad as what hes living in right now anymore. Its not the nakedness, or the three naked women around him. He got used to all of their naked bodies about twenty minutes after they were thrown here. No, thats not it. Its the fear of the unknown. Its not knowing whats going to happen to any of them, the everlasting fear of dying of hunger in this shit hole. These, he thinks, are the true hunger games. The way his stomach clenches at the thought of food, the way it hurls when he imagines even broth, he has never been this hungry in his life before. Not when they were poor, before Cooper won the Games, not when he was first in the Arena and especially not the last Arena. Because they gave him food there, they had sponsors in Plutarch Heavensbee.

And thats where it goes truly wrong, when he starts thinking about Plutarch, and how he has to be eating his belly round in Thirteen. How the other three must be having enough food to keep their stomachs happy. They were supposed to save him, that was the deal. He was to either die or be saved. This was never an option. He wasnt supposed to be here. He is angry.

He closes his eyes and tries to hold his breath, but he cant. Every time he starts thinking about Plutarch and where he might be, he sees Burt Hummel too. Burt, the friendly man who had clapped Blaine on his shoulder and told him how happy he made his son. And then, when he sees that imagine again, he thinks about Kurt. He sees Kurts beautiful face and his tattoo next to his eye. That ridiculous tattoo that he had seen the first time he met him, that had strangely settled him. It doesnt settle him now. Nothing about Kurt can settle him.

He wishes he could smell him, hold him, but when he sees Kurts face in front of him he sees
a jabberjay as well. And he hears it, as if hes back in the forest. He hears Kurts voice scream and shout in agony. Its like its locked tight in his ears and trying to escape. He hears his name, Kurt screams his name when he closes his eyes.

“Blaine,” it screams, “Help me, Blaine!”

He cant, he cannot help Kurt. He cannot get to him no matter how hard he tries. He is tied to the spot, in that forest, he stands there with his hands covering his ears and he screams himself. Tries to drown out the sound of Kurt in agony by his own voice. He yells and screams and thrashes, and does so until either Johanna slaps him across the face or Quinn gently pries his hands off his ears and takes him in her arms. Enobaria doesnt do anything, she just sits there and ignores the three of them. This time its Quinn, she still has her head in Blaines lap but her hands are holding his tightly as she smiles up at him.

“Hes getting worse,” Johanna bites.

“He cant help it,” Quinn quips.

“He is right here,” Blaine snaps at both of them. There is a look between them, they collectively sigh and leave it at that. He understands its getting on the others nerves, he knows it cant be easy being cramped in a room with someone who starts screaming at the top of his lungs every ten minutes but the others have their annoying quips as well. As three people in the same boat, they simply need to accept this from each other.

Quinn sits up, Blaine can hear her spine crack several times as she does. He cant help but notice how much skin on bones he sees. Shes losing the last bits of fat she had on her and when she coughs loud and aggressively he wonders how such a sound can even be produced in a tiny body like hers. She wipes her hand on her upper leg, Blaine sees the blood she smears there and he softly pulls her towards him, resting her head against his shoulder. It doesnt even feel weird anymore, being pressed naked against Quinn. It used to be only Kurt who hed ever felt naked, but everything in here is different.

Here he doesnt feel naked, not anymore, the only disadvantage it gives is how he is unable to ignore the way Quinn is deteriorating. The coughs, the way her body protests when she moves in the slightest. Shes sleeping a lot more than the rest of them and her voice is so extremely weak. She is losing weight, yet her stomach is swelling. Blaine has seen it in his district, in the villages, when the children dont have enough to eat. Hes seen their swollen bellies and hes heard them cough, just the memories hurt his heart. Its not even just that, she is just that tad more emotional than either Blaine or Johanna. He wishes he knew what was wrong with her, and he wishes he didnt know anything was wrong at all. Its terrifying and comforting to have her around at the same time.

When he looks at her, he knows where she is and he knows shes alive. He knows shes close to dying, too, but shes alive. He doesnt know that about Cooper, his parents, or Kurt. He doesnt know any of it. He keeps hearing their voices and he doesnt buy Johanna and Quinns story about Beetee. He doesnt believe those sounds were computer generated, made to sound like they were being tortured. Hes here, the Capitol got to him so why would any of the others be safe. Yes, Katniss, of course she is safe. He knows that much from what Johanna had told them about her interrogation. Hes still waiting for his.

Quinn coughs again, hard and unapologetic. Shes too late to get her hand to her mouth, spraying Blaines shoulder and chest in slime and blood. Blaine can only hope what she has isnt contagious. Though it probably isnt, they all would have had it by now if it was. The coughs seem louder, still, as if her lungs are trying to fight their way out of her body.

“Shes getting worse,” Blaine says, concerned.

“She cant help it,” Johanna quips.

“She is right here,” Quinn squeezes out between coughs, and for the first time since hes been thrown into this dungeon, or maybe for the first time since his name was reaped, he laughs. He sees a smile tug at Johannas mouth as well, and soon theyre all three doubled over in hysterics. Quinn keeps coughing in between, but she laughs and its a glorious sound. It almost sounds better than her lullaby.

They keep laughing, loudly and broken until the door opens and a tray of food gets shoved inside. Its strange, how suddenly the entire atmosphere can change. Its as if they dont even remember what they were laughing about in the first place anymore and everything is back to water and bread and being naked with four people in a dark dungeon.

But then the door opens again, someone is thrown inside, and suddenly its five naked people in a dark dungeon.

“Annie?” Johanna whispers. The girl, looking lost and confused, snaps her head up to Johanna and smiles widely, genuinely. Its almost as if she really is happy to be here.

“Wheres Finnick?” she asks.

“Hes...-” Johanna starts, but falters. Blaine has never seen her struggle like this before, she takes a deep breath and move towards where Annie is still on the floor, “we dont know where he is.”

Annie looks sad for a second, then notices the tray of food and water on the ground next to her and grabs for it. Johanna is just to her in time to slap her hand out of the way. She pulls the food close to her, Annies eyes go wide but Quinn and Blaine sit tight. Its been the way their dynamic has worked since before they were even here, Johanna is their leader. It was that way in the Arena, Johanna knowing more about the plans than they did, in here its still the same. Johanna takes the tough decisions, Johanna divides the food. Even Enobaria stopped fighting her after she figured out Johanna wouldnt let her starve to death.

“Were trapped in a creepy place with rats,” she had said, “these arent the hunger games, Im not letting anyone starve to death.”

And she hadnt. And she wont.

She examines Annie closely, makes her do a few coughs as if she is a real doctor and she asks Annie how she feels, physically. She seems fine. She gets a piece of bread.

Blaine gets a slightly larger piece, he needs it harder because its been longer for him since hes eaten properly. Enobaria gets a piece as big as Blaines and so does Johanna. Quinn only gets a tiny piece. Blaine gives Johanna a pointed look.

“She needs strength,” he says and utters with as much force as he can. Johanna ignores him as she takes a few large gulps of the bottle of water. She turns to Blaine then, after shes swallowed it all.

“She needs fluid,” Johanna answers, “her body cant handle digesting too much calories right now. I know she looks like she needs them, but she needs fluids first, I promise.”

“How do you know all this?” Blaine asks, taking the bottle from Johanna. She shrugs, tells Blaine to take three large gulps and then Annie and Enobaria the same. Maybe its common sense, or something Johanna picked up from Katniss, who seemed to be a perfect healer in the Arena, maybe shes keeping something from them. Whatever it is, Blaine supposes shes right. Its why his mother always said to keep drinking when he had the flu, most likely.

If only what Quinn has was just a flu. Shes coughing blood, and as little as Blaine knows about health and healing, he knows coughing blood is never a positive sign.

With Annie around, Johanna does get off their back a little. She, as Finnicks friend, makes it her lifes worth to keep Annie as sane as is possible, and they find a corner of the room to sit in. Blaine and Quinn find another. Enobaria occupies the third empty corner, the last one meant for their toilet needs.

Occasionally they hear other prisoners, some of them scream and others talk in their sleep. Its dark down here, so theres no sleeping pattern. They have no idea when its day or night and so everyone sleeps at random times. Blaine heard a few people screaming for their children, he heard one guy crying for his girl and the person closest to them keeps begging for them to let him know if his mother is still alive.

Every voice, every scream and cry they hear carries through Blaines body like a wildfire. The agony under his skin gets itchier and bolder every time someone so much as raises their voice around them, but he keeps still as much as possible. Quinn is plastered to his side nearly permanently now and he needs to hold it together for her. The bold pain that crawls up his body, into his throat when he hears those screams that arent the voices he needs to hear, it dies in his mouth as he wants to call out for Kurt.

Quinn is rigid at his side, he knows she feels it too, knows she longs for Cooper the way he does for Kurt. He wants to hear Cooper as well, he needs to hear his mother and father but at the forefront of his mind it is always Kurt that haunts him. They try talking to Annie for a while, since she was taken prisoner later than them, but Annie turns out to be useless on that front. Every time Blaine tries to ask her where she was before, how they got her voice to be mimicked by those jabberjays, all she does is look Blaine in the eye and ask him where Finnick is. He understands, he thinks, he needs Kurt as much as she needs Finnick.

He gives up asking Annie for anything eventually, settles for holding whichever part of Quinns body he can reach and makes soothing her sick and tired body his prime reason for existing. He understands it might just be days, hours even, that he has her with him until shes gone and he needs those moments to be as comfortable for her as he can possibly make them. So even though the words of her song do their very best to get stuck in his throat, he forces them out. Theyre croaked and raspy, filled with tears, regret and emptiness, he means them nonetheless. Pureness, innocence, they seemed like words that wouldnt be true for any Arena survivor, but they feel true now. They feel true to the girl in his arms. Fragile and broken at the same time, yet stronger than anyone hes ever met.

Her breath wheezes and her coughs are filled with blood and slime, but shes strong and shes brave. She is the toughest woman there could ever be, until she falls asleep. When shes asleep she is angelic and soft, sweet and terrorized by bad and angry dreams. She talks in her sleep, most of the time she kicks and screams as best as her body allows her, so Blaine is particularly angry when the Capitol people choose one of her more peaceful unconscious moments to barge in and separate them with rough hands.

He gets a little more hopeful when hes taken to what looks like a hospital wing at first, begs for Quinn to be treated the same. He gets some fluids inside his system, they offer him some broth which he reluctantly eats. He gets a clean scrub, even. Its only when he gets hauled into a room full of cameras that he understands why they were suddenly treated so well.

“Wheres Quinn?” He asks the guy who escorted him down, but gets ignored. He cant find Quinn anywhere as he looks around and all the hope hed felt at entering the hospital wing leaves him quicker than he thinks is healthy. Hes sure shes dead, they must have realized she was beyond use for the weird games they must be playing with the rebels and killed her. He got her killed, he should have protected her better.

She doesnt show up, Blaines hope is absolutely killed and then Caesar walks in animatedly chatting with Peeta Mellark.

“What the..-”

“Youre just here for back up,” a voice to Blaines right says and he almost wants to weep of joy when Isabelle puts her hand on Blaines upper arm. Even if its her strange, impossibly white face with all its orange lips and lashes, its a familiar face. Its all Blaine needs for now. He reaches for her, and she opens her arms. Shes unstable on the spokes that make out the soles of her shoes, but she catches him easily and holds him tight. A few people around them give them strange looks, but neither of them care.

“Youre just here for back up,” she repeats in his ear, “Peeta is a bit unstable, if he turns out not to be up for the interview theyre getting you in. Do everything they say and pretend to be on their side. Dont give them a reason to kill you, its not worth it. Not here.”

“Isnt it?” He asks, pulling back and looking at her. She looks old, older than she did before, and more artificial at the same time. Her eyes are sunken and tired and her hair is a color Kurt would never approve of. She looks lost, alone and Blaine needs to know what she knows.

“I dont know where they are,” she says, “I havent seen them since before the night of the interviews. I dont know, Im sorry.”

Blaine nods, he knows shes telling the truth.

“Just... dont give them a reason to kill you,” she says again and he continues to nod, he wont. And he doesnt have to in the end, they dont need him. Peeta performs perfectly to their standards, he asks Katniss and the rebels to stop fighting and he looks like a perfect Capitol lap dog. Blaine wants to yell and scream, wants to cry with how much it apparently wasnt worth it to save the Mockingjay and her lover, if this is how they decide to repay them.

He gets whisked away from the room before he can say another word to Isabelle or Peeta, and when he gets thrown back into the dark underground room, it turns out to be a different one. Hes confused at first, then angry again at how easily Peeta seems to have crossed to Snows side and that feeling gets washed away with relief as soon as he sees Quinn sitting in a corner.

She, too, looks cleaner and more well fed than before. The room they are in now is smaller, Johanna, Annie and Enobaria are nowhere to be found and in their place is a blond woman, who seems awfully comfortable, resting in Quinns lap. Blaine recognizes her in an instant, the avox who was supposed to serve them during their time before the Quarter Quell. The avox who had hardly been around until shed woken Blaine that fatal morning of entering hell.

“Quinn?” Blaine asks after the guards have closed the door and their footsteps are far enough down the hall for Blaine to know they arent eavesdropping, “what is going on?”

“Im not sure,” she answers honestly and cards her fingers through the avoxs hair. Blaine sees tears welling in her eyes, sees the way she swallows heavily before she opens her mouth to continue, “I have no idea what is going on, but I do want to introduce you to someone.”

Blaine raises an eyebrow in question, positions himself next to Quinn and takes her free hand in his.

“Holly,” she whispers, “Holly, wake up, theres someone I want you to meet.”

“Holly...-” Blaine drawls, the name rolling off his tongue easily. It sounds familiar, like hes heard it before, but at the same time it feels wrong saying it. Holly stirs slowly to consciousness in Quinns lap and turns around to face Blaine. She smiles up at him, and its a familiar smile. Familiar, but not memorable. He doesnt necessarily remember the smile, but he recognizes it. Its about a millisecond before Quinn says it that Blaine knows, “Blaine, this is my sister Holly.”

“Your...-” Blaine stumbles, “your sister?”

Holly nods as she scrambles up, giving Blaine a sad smile. Its a smile he knows better than any other smile, hes seen Quinn use it so many times since the Quarter Quell was announced. Holly reaches her hand out to Blaine and tucks a stray curl behind his ear. He wonders how long theyve been here, his hair so long now his curls can be tucked there. She does it again with another curl, which she first lets wrap around her index finger and Blaine gets hit with another sudden realization.

The force of it so hard he gets up and stumbles backwards. “Youre...- youre supposed to be … youre dead,” he rasps, “youre supposed to be dead.”

“My parents were killed because I refused to cooperate with the Captiol, yes, but Holly is here for a different reason,” Quinn starts, but Blaine already knows.

“I saw you being dragged off. I saw you being beaten up by peacekeepers and dragged off. You are supposed to be dead.”

“Blaine...-”

“No,” Blaine interrupts Quinn, “she was dead. They took her from that classroom while she was reading us The Little Mermaid and she is dead.”

“Obviously she isnt.”

“And shes your sister?”

“Yes.”

“All those years she was a teacher at the school I attended, she was kidnapped and beaten up in front of me and you never cared to tell me she was family?”

Quinn tries to get up, but her body betrays her. Even if she looks clean and well fed, shes still fragile and weak and so Holly holds her down. She looks at Blaine apologetically and as if she wants to say something, but she cant. She doesnt have a tongue, she cant speak and as Quinn starts coughing Blaine is nearly grateful for her inability to speak in that moment as well. After Quinn has coughed up a little more blood, and is catching her breath, Blaine speaks up.

“I understand you had your reasons to lie to me like that,” he snarls, “and I need you to respect my privacy right now. Im going to sit in that corner over there and Ill talk to you when I talk to you.”

Hes being completely unreasonable, most likely, but he just cant deal with something as huge as a family member he didnt know the existence of until now. Hes still got Peeta wrapped in his head, the way hed seemed so off and in tune with Caesar at the same time, the way he seemed to despise Katniss now. Threatened her with death, even. He had wanted to talk to Quinn about that, not about a long lost reunion with a sister. The way they sit so close together, the way theyre huddled up as if theyre in a stupid secret mission and he has no idea where his own brother is. He cant stand it. Cooper, he wants Cooper when he sees Quinn like that. And yet, when he thinks of Cooper he cant not think of Quinn and he sees them curled up close at the breakfast table, trying their damned hard to say goodbye.

And when he thinks of people so close together he thinks of Kurt. Kurts smell, the way his hair falls flat over his forehead, and how Blaine can only see it if he wakes before Kurt. He thinks of Kurts naked body pressed against his own and he thinks of the strong arms that could pick him up and scoop him in his arms effortlessly right now. Everything around him turns into Kurt and then into birds, stupid birds screeching with Kurts voice. And Isabelle hadnt know where he was and Quinn doesnt know where he is and he cant ask Cooper.

“I miss Cooper,” Blaine starts after fifteen minutes. It might have been fifteen minutes, it might have been two days. He just doesnt know anymore.

“So do I,” Quinn answers.

“No, you dont miss him like I do. You have your sister here. Im sorry I yelled earlier, I think I was just jealous.”

“I know,” Quinn says, “I know that. Please, just, listen to me?”

And so he does. Quinn tells the story, Holly nods and makes hand gestures to enforce it. She is older than Quinn, by ten years, married to a man named Jem Holiday and widowed by the age of 22. She and Quinn have same age difference as he and Cooper. She had been a teacher before Quinn had entered the Arena, they had always lived in Center Village because their father owned a shop. She taught her students about the universe and everything that was wrong with Panem every year, until one year Quinns name was reaped and she was sent into the Arena. Though no one approached her or said anything, they all knew it wasnt a coincidence. This was a warning, miss Holiday was not supposed to teach her students about these things anymore. Then Quinn won.

Blaine had never heard the story before, of the desert Arena where Quinn had charmed her way into a boys heart and he practically made all the kills for her.

“Katniss and Peeta werent the first star-crossed lovers,” she says, “only I always made it clear to at least the audience I did it for survival, so they never felt an uproar for that. And we didnt both survive, of course.”

She tells Blaine about the way she would drink his water while she was on watch and he asleep, that he would believe her when she said she didnt drink it with an innocent smile. He did anything for her, would give her more food than he ate himself and she tells him how she eventually left him hanging in a tree in a net when there were only three tributes left.

“I waited until the other boy killed him with his spear, then I attacked from behind and slit the last boys throat.”

“Wow,” Blaine says, “so you and I both only killed one person?”

“Well,” Quinn answers, “if you count all the tributes I made him kill, then I killed about fourteen.”

“He killed fourteen tributes?”

“Yes, he was the strongest in there. I was just smarter. He wasnt even from District 9. I dont know why he fell for me.”

Blaine gives her a look, as sympathetic as he can muster, because she must know by now. She has been using that charm ever since she got out of that Arena to gather sponsors for the new tributes. Her charm is the strongest thing about her. As it is Coopers. It got her a killing machine on her side, it got Cooper a bunch of rich old ladies to sponsor him with weapons and food.

“But then I got out and I refused to let Snow use me, sell me, as I told you before, and before we knew it our parents were killed. Everyone believes it was an accident in the factory and a suicide, but we know better. A peacekeeper came to tell us that, but they didnt even work at the factory. And after that they were torn, we think. They tried to punish Holly for teaching the wrong things by putting me in the Arena, then they needed to punish me for not listening to them. They didnt want for me to win, just like they didnt want for you to win. My death was supposed to be her punishment and her death then was supposed to be mine. They didnt kill either of us. At one point we thought they might have forgotten she was my sister. After all, when she married her last name changed and they didnt kill her for a long time. We thought she was safe and then she started teaching again, that was when she was your teacher, but they knew immediately. And thats when she was dragged from your class. I thought she was dead, until now she showed up in my cell.”

“She was in our quarters too,” Blaine puts in, “we didnt see our avoxes until the morning we were leaving. I guess you didnt see her at all, she kept completely to herself but she woke me.” He turns to Holly then, “I knew you looked familiar.”

Holly nods, holds an arm out for Blaine and he crawls into it like he did when he was younger. He remembers one particular day, he had scraped his knee pretty badly on the playground and hed been crying for his mother. Its a general story, he supposes, every kid scrapes their knee and gets comforted by their teacher at some point in their school going career, but he remembers it all too fondly now. As he crawls up to this tongue-less woman, it feels as if hes back on that little wall that surrounded the playground. Hes back there with his scraped knee and her comforting words, telling him he could go to his mommy in a few hours.

He misses his mom, he misses his mother and he misses his father. He misses Cooper and he misses Kurt. He tells Quinn and Holly about the show, tells them about Peeta and how off he had seemed. He misses Kurt and he wants to be in Kurts embrace, not Hollys, but hes here with them and he has to make sure the Capitol doesnt get their way. He knows they have put Holly in here to throw him and Quinn off, to make them more vulnerable and to show them they are still in control. They had taken Quinn up there to make her stronger, to make her think she stood a fighting chance when they gave her medicine and cleaned her up and fed her, only to make her lose her mind over a reunion with a supposedly dead sister.

They showed Blaine the broadcast with Peeta, they made him stand by in case something went wrong, to show him they have the control over Peeta. They have the control over the tributes still inside the Capitol. They can torture them, they can make them say things no camera that they dont agree with. They can make them say and do things that would have their family and friends turn against them. They are in control.

If theyre even still alive, he doesnt know if they are still alive. Annie hadnt been able to provide Blaine with the information he wanted, she had not been able to tell him how they got the jabberjay to scream out with her voice. She had looked pretty tortured, too, and Blaine wonders if that is because they had been wrenching out her voice to use in the Arena. He wont know, maybe ever, what happened to her, or Kurt.

They wait for Johanna to join them in this new cell, they wait for Enobaria and for Annie but none of them come. Then, after a day or two, they hear Johanna scream loudly at the end of the hall. All she does is scream out Annies name, no explanation and when Blaine tries to scream back, a guard rams on the door and tells him to shut up. Its clear, theyre not allowed to communicate with the others anymore.

It takes a few more days before they figure out theyve been regrouped for organization purposes. Its when they overhear two guards talk, saying its easier to remember who is put in which cell now theyre sorted by District number. At first Blaine is relieved, the lack of Johanna and Annie in their cell now can mean as much as theyre down in another cell with people from their home. He sleeps for the first time since theyve been regrouped, he sleeps with his head in Hollys lap and her fingers carted through his hair.

Its not a very peaceful sleep, the rats that walk over his legs and stomach, they manifest in his dreams as giant snakes. Then the snakes turn into his family, into Kurt and everyone whose whereabouts he is uncertain about. He dreams until one of them, it looks like his father but it might as well be Burt Hummel, is up close to his face and he wakes with a jolt to Quinn hanging over him.

“You keep muttering everyones names,” she announces bluntly.

Holly is still petting his hair, she sits quietly and nods slightly to confirm Quinns words. Her expression, though, isnt as worrisome as Quinns. Its as if she understands better, and maybe she does. Which, to Blaine, doesnt really make sense. Its Quinn who has lived with the Andersons for years and it is Quinn who has seen Blaine fall hard and fast for Kurt. And when Blaine looks closer at Quinn he notices the way her brow is furrowed, and he knows Quinn. This isnt worry or confusion. Its anger and frustration.

“I dont know why you keep worrying,” she says, “we know were sorted into these dumps by District.”

“Because we have no idea where they are,” Blaine answers, feeling in his everything how much he doesnt want to have this conversation. He knows she misses Cooper like he misses Kurt, but it still isnt the same. She has Holly here. He supposes he does, too, but she isnt Cooper and she isnt Kurt. Quinn doesnt miss her love and her family. If anything, Quinn got her family back. Blaine wishes he didnt hold it against her the way he does. And he really doesnt think she has a right to look at him in that motherly fashion he knows so well.

He liked that look when he was a little boy, and shed crawl up into bed with him after nightmares. He liked that look when he was twelve and she told him it was perfectly normal to have a crush on his classmate Sam. Even if he was a boy. He remembers how much he had liked talking to her about things he didnt dare tell his own mother just yet. He had liked it.

He doesnt like it now, in a cellar under the ground, where they are being held against their will. He isnt that boy anymore. And she isnt that woman anymore.

“Of course we know where they are,” she says after a while, she sits back on her heels and gets through a coughing fit. Blaine can see her ribs expand and he is almost afraid her tiny body will explode. Holly reaches out a hand for Quinn to hold, which seems to calm her down a bit. Blaine waits until shes all coughed out before he responds.

“As long as were in this cell without them, we dont know where they are.”

“Blaine,” Quinn says, her voice hoarse with extortion, “were sorted by District, they arent here with us. Its simple, they are either safe or dead.”

As the gray mass between safe and dead disappears, Blaine suddenly feels that much stronger. His body feels lighter and though Kurt isnt technically from their District, he knows the same is true for him. Hed been in on the operation and if the entire operation has failed, Kurt would have awaited the same faith as his family. After all, they used Kurts voice for the jabberjays as well as his familys voices. They knew how much Kurt means to him, he is either safe or dead.

Theyre either safe or dead. He doesnt have to be strong for them anymore, they are either safe or dead and Blaine can fight. He can scream Annie and Johannas name and the guards can tell him to shut up but the only thing that will happen is hell live or die.

He starts to breathe, he gathers a strength in his chest and in his voice and he plans on telling Annie how Finnnick is either safe or dead, how there is no in between and everything is good. Hes safe, or hes dead. Wherever they are, six feet under or in District Thirteen, they arent being tortured. They arent being tortured and everything is clear in Blaines hazy mind. They are okay. They are safe. Or they arent anything at all anymore. They arent hurting, they arent scared or fighting against the Capitol.

He opens his mouth wide to start the sound, but the clarity in his mind dissapears and a fog fills up the room. He retreats back from the door he had hurried too, and huddles in a corner with Quinn and Holly. He grabs for their hands and then he lets himself fall down. The room around him, as much as he can see off it in the dark, spins. He wants to turn to Holly, tell her how he feels, but she is bent over an unconscious Quinn and as Blaine tries to see what is going on there he feels himself slip too. Slowly, this time, different than when he was hit in the Arena, he slips into darkness.

And just as sudden the darkness disappears and he is in a bright, white room again. Next to him is Cooper. He wants to smile, but the light is so bright and his head hurts and he slips away again.

When he awakes the second time its Plutarch Heavensbee hanging over him.

“Good, good.” The man mutters.

“Cooper...-” Blaine croaks, his voice hoarse and his breath stale. It feels like hes been under for days.

“Cooper isnt here, Im afraid,” Plutarch says, “but youre good, boy, youre safe now.”

Blaine wants to sit up, wants to tell Plutarch how much he is not a boy, thanks to Plutarchs failed plan he has spent forever in a cell being naked, pissing in a corner and eating nothing but stale bread. He wants to fly to Plutarchs throat and squeeze it shut when he says again.

“Youre safe, I promise, were on our way to Thirteen.”

It gets through to him then, hes safe. Hes okay. Hes not in the cell anymore and he is wearing something that feels like pajamas. He tries to lift his arm but finds it strapped tight, and when he looks down theres an IV there.

“I cant really inform you about everything yet, because the nurses will kill me, but I can tell you youre safe.”

Blaine nods, tries a grateful smile and then closes his eyes again. He lets himself drift off, and forces himself not to wonder whether or not he imagined Cooper earlier.

He didnt. The third time he wakes Cooper and Finnick are at his bedside together. Finnick looks pale, tired, his eyes are sunken and not at all focused on Blaine. He is holding Coopers hand tightly while eying the curtain that is next to Blaines bed.

“Hi,” Cooper says, his voice strained and hoarse. Theres a large gash over his eye that seems to still be bleeding. Blaine wants to reach out and grab Coopers other hand, ask what is going on and where they are but he finds his body unable to move and his voice unable to produce sound. He looks up, into Coopers eyes and pleads with his mind that Cooper will explain.
Everything hurts, everything is a blur and he has a headache that makes thinking nearly impossible.

“Youre okay,” Coopers voice whispers, suddenly closer and when did he crouch down next to Blaines bed? His head is just visible over the side bars, to which straps are attached that hold Blaine in place. He notices his legs and arms bound to it and begins to thrash. Hes supposed to be safe, Plutarch said hes safe and his feet and legs are bound to the bed. He needs to get out, needs to get away. He needs to run, run and be safe. He needs to run far away and take Cooper and find Quinn and Holly and Kurt and he needs to get away from everything.

“Blaine!”

Coopers voice is firm as he presses a hand to Blaines chest. “Rest, Blaine, calm down and take deep breaths. Youre okay. Youre safe.”

The words arent comforting, not at all. Hes tied down and its terrible and he cant go anywhere. He woke up in a bright room after not having seen light for who knows how long and he cant breath. He cant breath, he cannot breath and Coopers hand on his chest hurts and he needs to know where Quinn is because she had been so weak. So feeble and so sick, he needs to know shes still alive. He needs to know where she is and he must get himself out of these bounds.

He keeps thrashing, Cooper presses down firmer and calls for someone. He trashes and he wants to ask Cooper to help him, he must understand how important it is to get to Quinn. Holly, where is Holly? And then a woman walks in with a large syringe, Coopers hand disappears from his chest and the needle gives a painful sting as she shoves it into his arm. Blaine thinks, shortly before everything turns black, that maybe they have brainwashed Cooper and Plutarch the same way they seemed to have brainwashed Peeta.

The third time he wakes up, Cooper and Finnick are gone. He hears Annies voice through the curtain and he figures thats why Finnick was so focused on it. He tries to remember how he got into this room, but he cant. He focuses on his muscles, trying to move them without freaking out about the bonds and he cant. The entire bed starts to shake and he wonders if maybe the Cooper had been a mutant. He cant be safe, something has to be going on.

A door creeks, it opens very slowly and only when he sees streaks of silver hair poking around the corner he finds his voice.

“Kurt?”

Kurt follows, in clothes that make absolutely no sense. Even when Kurt had been wearing the comfortable fitting clothes just before the Quarter Quell, they had been flattering and stylish. Nothing about what hes wearing now is stylish or looks even slightly designer worthy. It all hangs loose off his body and his lonely eyes match the depressing look it gives off perfectly. There is no silver. Is this really Kurt? There is no silver.

“Blaine?” His voice is soft, tentative and a little lost, “are you..- are you awake?”

“Obviously,” Blaine smiles. Though there is nothing to smile about, Kurt looks scared and lost and not at all like they are safe and okay where they are.

“They just...-” he looks over his shoulder to the door that falls close, before he moves forward and rests a hand over Blaines bound one. “They said you might be asleep and that you might be very confused and scared if you were awake.”

“I am very much awake,” Blaine answers, turns his hand in the belt around his wrist and grips Kurts tightly. “Im awake.”

“Youre awake.”

“Are you real?”

Kurts eyes shoot up from where they were looking at their joint hands, and he looks Blaine in the eyes for the first time since before the Quarter Quell took off. Electricity shoots through Blaines body as their eyes connect, everything inside him feels alive like it did the first time they kissed. He tries to lift his right hand to touch Kurts cheek, to stroke his perfect cheekbone and let a thumb caress the defining tattoo, but he is held back and lets it drop again with a thud.

“Youre real.”

“Im real,” Kurt confirms, “Im real and I want to hold you. Can I hold you?”

Blaine nods, tears welling in his eyes as Kurt curls up close to him and holds him tight. He wish he could answer the hold, but he cant and so he lies there motionless with his face buried deep in grown out silver streaks. Kurts hair is long, longer than hes ever seen it before and the streaks are just in the tip. The tattoo next to his eye has faded, its almost a simple shadow now its not touched up recently and Blaine manages to bend his neck just far enough to kiss it softly.

Kurt responds with a hum, turns his head and presses his lips firmly against Blaines. Its strange, kissing like this, unable to throw his arms around Kurt, but somehow he manages to convey to Kurt what he wants. Firm presses of lip against lip, Kurts hands to the sides of his face and then sweet open mouths and tongues finding each other. They breath each other in like its the first time, or maybe like its the last time and they keep pressing together for as long as theyre allowed.

Kurt lies fully on top of him, rocking them together and making both of them forget the entire world around them until a scraping voice announces theyre not alone.

Annie smirks at them from her bed and gives an awkward thumbs up with her free hand. The other one is firmly, almost obsessively, being held by Finnick. He smiles at Blaine in a distant fashion while Kurt climbs off him and sits on the stool next to his bed. He grabs Blaines hand again, unable to be fully apart.

“Good to see you,” Finnick says, his voice hallow and lonely. In his free hand Blaine sees a rope full of knots and wonders what that means. Annie seems to notice it too, and reaches for it. She takes the rope and starts knotting more knots. She doesnt wonder the way Blaine does what those knots might mean.

“I figure you all want some explanation?” Finnick asks, looking between Annie and Blaine and ignoring the way Annie is utterly engrossed with his rope.

“Can I be free first?” Blaine asks, and though they should probably wait until someone from the hospital staff gives permission, Kurt starts to untie him. As soon as hes free he sits up and bundles the blankets in his lap. He pulls Kurt closer to him and leans against him as much as he can while on a stool and Blaine in a bed. He holds tightly onto Kurt as Finnick talks.

He talks about being rescued, about going on missions into the districts and tells them how most Districts are at war with the Capitol now. It all seems like good news, it all seems like a lot of innocent lives lost. District 12 is completely wiped out, Peetas memory was altered and he thinks the Capitol are the good guys now. They decided to rescue them only because Katniss was losing her mind over Peeta. Everything is still about Katniss.

Katniss is walking around in Kurts designs, Cinna is dead. Katniss thinks the designs are Cinnas because she doesnt trust anyone but Cinna. Kurt is working hard to get her the perfect outfits and he gets none of the credit. Its one of those things that Blaine sometimes despises about Kurt, that he can complain about not getting credit when the entire country is at war. He loves it at the same time, that Kurt can worry about something so minor. It makes him see things in perspective. The only District left to conquer is Two. Cooper and Katniss are in District Two currently, fighting to captivate it so the Capitol stands alone.

All this time nothing is mentioned about Johanna, Quinn, Holly or Enobaria. Blaine wonders what has become of them. He hasnt seen Johanna since before they were separated in their cells. He doesnt ask, doesnt want to hear the news. Later, when he is released from the hospital wing he finds out Johanna is very much alive. She is hooked on morphling and still in the hospital wing, but shes alive.

Kurt takes Blaine around District 13. Its small, completely underground and its utterly weird. Kurt managed to convince one of the ladies that Blaine can share living arrangements with him rather than Cooper, because Cooper will want to share with Quinn. They are hard about it, say that only married or blood related people can share bunks, but Kurt and Cooper seem to be important enough to the cause to get exceptions. After the living arrangements are set, Kurt tells Blaine he has a surprise for Cooper.

He takes Blaine down deep underground, to what seems to be a television room and to his utmost surprise he finds Beetee there, alive and well. Maybe even the most healthy of all the victors hes seen so far. He still hasnt seen Quinn, and he hasnt dared to ask for her but seeing Beetee makes him forget for a second.

“Blaine, my boy!” Beetee exclaims, “its so incredibly good to see you.”

“You too,” Blaine smiles, hugging the man with one arm, he other occupied holding Kurts firmly. He cant let go of Kurt. Not now, not ever. “What are you doing down here so deep in the ground?” He asks, trying to make light conversation.

“Well,” he says, “I have been able to break into the Capitols broadcast system and Im now showing them whats happening in District 2.”

“Youve...-” a loud bang interrupts Blaines sentence, and they all turn to the screens behind Beetee, where they see Katniss Everdeen fall to the ground.

“Shit.”

Its mutual from Kurts and Beetees mouths, and only when the camera zooms in on Katniss Blaine realizes shes just been shot. Live, on television. Then everything turns to black and Beetee starts to rapidly click away at buttons and type into a keyboard with weird symbols. Blaine is tethered to the ground where he stands. This cant be true, the Mockingjay is not dead minutes after he was released from hospital.

He did not spend months, if he must believe Kurt and Finnick that it was that long, in a cell with rats pissing on his face to wake up from that nightmare and have the Mockingjay be over. He risked his life for her, he ended up in the Capitol because he was set to save Panem rather than himself and he did not live through that to have it be over now. He needs her alive, he needs her safe.

“Come, Blaine,” Kurt urges, “lets get out of here.”

He cant move. Hes not able to move his feet and he feels himself lifted of the ground. Hes slung over Kurts shoulder and he cant protest. Hes put to bed and he still cant move, he stares at the ceiling until he falls asleep. When he wakes up, Kurt is sitting on the bedside in nothing but his underwear.

“Shes alive,” he says, “shes hurt, but shes back here and in the hospital. Shes with Johanna, they hate each other but they are fine.”

Blaine blinks a couple times. Shes alive, she was shot and shes alive.

“Quinn?” he croaks, his voice less hoarse than yesterday but his body more exhausted now the morphling and sleeping medicine are out of his body. At least hes able to move again.

“Quinn is... -” Kurt hesitates.

“If shes dead, just tell me.”

“No!” Kurt presses, “No, she isnt dead. Or at least, not yet.”

Blaine nods. Its what hes been fearing, its what hes been preparing himself for and he keeps nodding, unable to find the emotion he needs to feel right now. There isnt anything inside. He doesnt feel sad or heartbroken.

“There isnt anything they can do to save her that wouldnt kill the baby.”

“What?”

“The baby...”

“As I said,” Blaine says as he sits up, “what?”

“You didnt know she was pregnant?”

To this, Blaine shakes his head. He hadnt had a clue, he still doesnt really believe it. Its so out of the blue and he doesnt really have a way of processing it. Hes confused, he wants to get to her now but he cant. He doesnt know where she is and he was deemed healthy enough to report to work. He goes to breakfast with Kurt and gets his hand engraved with some weird ink that tells him to be in a meeting in a certain room at 9.00am. The breakfast is stale, simple and about the most welcome meal Blaine has had in months. Its weird to have everyone around him be clothed again, but somehow he feels very comfortable that everyone is at least wearing the same thing. He notices that people look at him weirdly, until a slender, gorgeous boy sits across from them.

“Youre one of the rescued victors, arent you?” He asks.

Blaine nods as he takes a bite of his bread roll.

“Im Sebastian,” the boy says, “I grew up in Thirteen. Its good here, and were helping you overthrow the Capitol. I dont think you should hang with Capitol people, that makes you look like youre on their side.” He shoots Kurt a nasty look, who shoots back a sharp glare and Blaine is proud of his boyfriend, if proud is a word to use in current situations. He presses a kiss to Kurts cheek and turns to Sebastian.

“Thank you for the advice,” he says, “but Im pretty sure I can make up my own mind about who to trust.”

After just two days of walking around in Thirteen he has made up his mind that he doesnt like the people from Thirteen. Theyre too strict about their rules, and even though they are much better and a lot more peaceful than the rules in Panem, he still feels like hes being repressed and isnt that exactly what he was fighting against?

People look at him weird when he tells he is in love with Kurt.

“But hes a boy,” one of the people had said, “you cannot procreate with him.”

“That seems to be their only purpose,” Cooper tells him at lunch. It is good to see Cooper again, who had come out of the fight in District 2 surprisingly unharmed. Both their minds are so preoccupied with Quinn that they find it hard to have any real conversations so far. “They have been living underground and some kind of disease has wiped out half their population. All they want is to procreate so they made homosexuality forbidden.”

“So the love between me and Kurt is just as forbidden here as it is in Panem?”

“Even more,” Cooper says, “in Panem it is illegal because youre from different Districts, but they would turn a blind eye had you not been of any significance to them. No one their cares about gender, especially in the Capitol. It was only so wrong because you were a figure in the public eye and love between the Capitol and a victor would make it seem like they were equal. Here, though, its illegal on every level. Theyre turning a blind eye now because youre in the public, youre a surviving captive of the Capitol and you can tell them what horrors you lived through. Youre significant to the cause so they decide to let you love him, but if they had their way they would make you procreate.”

Hes so bitter when he says it, it makes Blaine think of Quinn and Cooper and her pregnancy.

“Cooper,” he says softly, “are they...-” it takes him every ounce of strength to get the words out, “are they letting Quinn die so the baby can be of significance to the cause?”

Cooper turns his head away from Blaine, looks up at the ceiling and swallows hard. Blaine knows hes fighting back tears and chooses to ignore it. Cooper doesnt want Blaine to see him cry and so he will pretend he didnt notice.

“I dont know,” Cooper answers honestly, “but Quinn says she wants it this way. She says she cant live knowing she killed a baby in the process. I told her I cant take care of the baby without her and all she did was start to sing this stupid song.”

Blaine nods, he knows the song.

“Pure and simple,” he sings, “born in a world where love survives.”

Kurt chooses that moment to sit across from them, with his plate full of food that he would normally never eat and Blaine looks at him through different eyes. A world where love survives, thats what they are fighting for. A world where there are no victors and people from the Capitol. Where everyone is free to love whoever they want. Free to be whatever they want, free to travel where ever they want to travel to.

He gets up and hurries to the hospital. If he is so important to the cause that they turn a blind eye to his love for Kurt, hes pretty sure they can turn a blind eye when he skips duties to be with Quinn. Holly sits next to the bed when he gets there, and she smiles widely when Blaine walks in. Its almost as if she has no idea whats going on outside this room and all there is is her sister.

She gives him a hug and leaves the room, as if she knows Blaine wants to be alone with Quinn. He sits next to her bed and ignores the hollow cheekbones. He takes her hand and strokes it softly. He starts to sing her song to her, she remains asleep and motionless. He strokes her hand, tucks her hair behind her ear kisses her cheek and crawls in the bed next to her. He takes her in his arms and apologizes over and over again.

“Im sorry,” he says, “Im sorry I didnt know. Im sorry I didnt notice.”

“Shut up.”

Her voice is so weak, so fragile and at the same time so entirely Quinn that Blaine lets out a startled, painful laugh. “You couldnt know,” she says, “I knew but I didnt tell you. You couldnt know.”

“You knew?”

“Of course I knew,” she says, “It felt just like last time.”

“Last time?”

“Oh.”

“Quinn...-” Its as if this woman in his arm is turned into a little girl he doesnt know at all. Quinn turns and faces him. Her face is almost gray, her cheeks hollow and her eyes so bright and warm that Blaine cant help but burst into tears.

“Who are you?” He asks.

Quinn closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and opens her mouth to talk, but all that comes out is a sob and then tears start to flow. Blaine holds her close as he, too, cries. They lay like that for longer than is comfortable and they keep lying like that even when Blaines back starts to hurt, when his arms seize up and when hes used up all his tears. He holds her tight and kisses her hair.

“Its okay,” he whispers, “youre okay, well be okay. Well figure it out.”

“I really loved him.”

“Hey, youre not dead yet,” Blaine says, “you still have time to love him. All hes thinking about is you, you have time.”

“No, not Cooper,” Quinn says, “Noah.”

“Noah?”

“Noah Puckerman. District 4, killed 14 people in the 62nd Hunger Games, before he was killed by the second to last remaining tribute. The only reason I was able to slit his throat was because I was so angry he killed Noah.”

“Quinn, you dont have to tell me,” Blaine starts, “you need to rest and be strong, okay?”

“No,” she retorts, “I need to tell you Blaine. Before its too late, I need to tell you. I know everything about you, I know youre fighting so you can be free, so you dont have to see people die in the Games anymore and so you can be with Kurt and I need to tell you why Im fighting and why I hate Katniss so much and I need to tell you.”

“Okay, okay. Tell me everything.”

She takes a deep breath again, and launches into her monologue without hesitation. “I saw him and there was just this thing between us. He was a career and I knew I had to play this thing between us as well as I could. I knew how to make boys like me, its a thing Holly taught me at a young age. Id smile at him sweetly during training, sit with him at lunch and I made out with him in the elevator the day before we started the games. I told myself it was to seal the deal, but I honestly enjoyed kissing him. Then in the games we made this pact and we were together all the time. We kissed, we made love and it was real, but I knew it was still a show so when he was asleep Id pretend I was faking it. I was faking that I was faking, does that make sense?”

“I guess.”

“And I knew one of us had to die, but I didnt know how and he killed everyone and he kept saying itd be okay. That we would figure it out, but then we didnt. He got himself killed by the last remaining enemy and to this day I think he did it on purpose. He wanted me to win, to survive and he knew Id be unable to kill him so he got himself killed and hoped I would kill the other boy. I did, I slit his throat without preamble. I killed him without thinking about it twice because I loved Noah and I didnt know how to live without him, and this boy took him away from me. I didnt think for a second that I would be a victor when I did, but then Claudius Templesmith announced me as the winner and I was picked up by the hovercraft. I was in the Capitol and tests were performed and they locked me away in a room. I did the interview, was locked away again. I know the story is that Snow wanted me for himself, but that isnt entirely true.”

“It isnt?”

“I mean, he did and he bought me, but I was so wrapped up in losing Noah and having to do all the interviews and stuff that I wasnt really bothered by it. I did the victory tour like any other person and then went back to the Capitol. I thought that happened to every victor, or every female victor at least. I was put up in one of the chambers in his room. Hed do...- stuff, hed do stuff to me until he felt like my belly was too big and I was moved to the hospital.”

She sighs deeply, once, moves a little closer to Blaine and continues with her story. Blaine hardly dares to make a sound as she speaks.

“By this point I knew what was happening,” she says, “Id felt the baby move inside me, my breasts were about twice their normal size and my belly was about the size of a water melon. I knew what was happening, so I figured theyd let me stay in the hospital and send me home after I had the baby. You have to know at this point I still believed Snow had a special liking for me. I was sent into the Arena with no mentor, my escort pretended victors loved the Capitol and I was put up in Snows mansion after I won. Yes, he did things to me, but I didnt know that wasnt normal. I thought I had it good.

“That was, until I was put under anesthetics and woke up, the baby belly gone and a nurse tending to a large wound on my belly. I asked her to see my child and she said Id be able to see my daughter later. I went back to sleep and woke up to a dark haired woman standing over me, holding a little girl. She thanked me for granting her her wish and promised me no one would know she was mine. I wasnt to tell anyone I had a baby. I was too far gone to protest, I still think they drugged me so I would agree to giving her up.”

“Quinn, thats terrible.”

“The last thing I requested before she left was to call the baby Beth. The woman seemed nice, she couldnt have children herself and she was looking at the little girl like she was the moon and the sky. Strangely, I trusted her. I asked her to call the baby Beth, because there was a song Noah used to sing to me in the Arena. He said it reminded him of his little sister, he used to sing that to her before bed every night. I wanted her to be Beth. I hope she is safe right now, and well.”

“Quinn...-” Blaine starts, unable to say anything but her name.

“I was sent home a couple weeks later, to find my parents had died and my sister thought it was best to not be in contact as much, for protection. It was just in time to appear on stage for that years reaping. Coopers name was reaped, I saw your wide eyes and knew I had to do anything and everything to get this boy out. If anything happened when they took Beth away from me, it was that I couldnt handle families being torn apart anymore. I just saw your big eyes, your fear and I completely forgot about the female tribute. She didnt have any kid siblings, I didnt care about her. And so I seduced a bunch of rich old men, made them buy Cooper ridiculous gifts and he survived. You all moved into Victor Village, and we fell in love. Its as simple as that. We always thought I couldnt get pregnant again, that they did something during Beths birth to prevent it, but for some reason I just never got pregnant until just before the Arena.”

“When you used to sing to me,” Blaine starts, “were you singing about Beth?”

“I always hoped I was,” Quinn says, “in a way sometimes I was happy she grew up in the Capitol. At least I always knew she was safe from the Games.”

“Do you think shes safe now?” Blaine asks, to which Quinn shrugs her bony little shoulders.

“No one is safe,” Quinn answers, “but its for the greater good. Its to ensure this one is.” She grabs Blaines hand and puts it to her tiny belly. Blaine knows now its been six months since they entered the Games. Three more months to go. The baby is probably underfed, just like its mother, tiny and bony and unhealthy. If Quinn doesnt survive this, the baby has to. He knows that much.

“And why do you hate Katniss Everdeen so much?” He asks then, remembering another part of what Quinn said earlier.

“She didnt really love him, yet she got both of them out and became the Mockingjay,” Quinn says, “I did really love Noah, yet he died.”

“Im sorry,” Blaine says, kissing the hand Quinn holds his with, “Im sorry all of this happened to you.”

“Its not your fault,” Quinn says, “youre my little brother and you deserved to know. Im just sorry I never shared it before.”

Blaine wants to tell her she isnt to blame for that, that its her story and she deserves to tell anyone she wants on her own terms. That shes not obligated to tell anyone and that he is merely lucky she trusts him enough to be part of her life. He knows how hard trust comes to most victors, to people who have lived through horrors and badly as they have and he knows he himself is one of the lightest cases of victors. He still has his brother, his semi-sister and he still has hope to find his parents once it is safe enough to return to Nine. He has Kurt, he loves Kurt and he has not killed anyone but the boy from Four. He wonders, suddenly, if the boy from Four was somehow related to Noah Puckerman, and thereby Beth. He is too afraid to ask Quinn.

He hasnt been sold to Capitol residents for sex, or companionship, he hasnt been raped the way Quinn has and no one has stolen his baby. His parents werent killed and his District wasnt wiped out the way Twelve was. He knows he is lucky and so he starts to devote all of his time on helping the victors who have been hit harder than him to get ready for their attack on the Capitol. He completely redesigns his own schedule after he hears Katniss had ordered them immune to punishment, and he starts to spend his time getting Johanna back on her feet. He slowly helps her off the morphling, and he carries her and Katniss through training.

He, Holly and Cooper take turns in guarding Quinn, who is mostly put on sleeping cures. They sit at her bedside so someone is always with her when she is awake. Blaine trains in the center, gathers all the strength he had lost and spends his hours away from Quinn and training with Kurt. Its easy, being around Kurt, when they both are so busy during the day. There are times when it almost feels nice, domestic, to be lying in bed and recapping their days to each other.

He loves making love to Kurt, he revels in the feeling of Kurt pressed close to him and when he tells him about the new weapons Beetee has made for everyone it is as if he is telling Kurt about his day at the factory, rather than the weapons he intends to kill as many of Snows employees with. Blaine falls into life in Thirteen easy, though its too strict for him and too formal, he notices its a very effective way of preparing people for war. Yet, his favorite night by far is Finnick and Annies wedding. They wheel Quinn in, she sways softly and sleeps a lot, Cooper in the bed with her. Blaine dances with Kurt, all night, and its almost as if theyre on a regular date. He sings them a song and he makes Kurt dance with him while he sings. Every time Kurt laughs he falls in love a little bit more.

In training, next to Quinn, in bed with Kurt, two months fly by and it is time for the recruitment test. They expect the Capitol to be a maze of traps set to filter out the spies, the attackers and the rebels, and so they are to show theyre not afraid of anything. Blaine is ready to go in, ready to show how much he wants to avenge his friends who have lived through so much. Who have been put through the horrors of the Games and all the horrors that come after. He wants to shoot whoever took Quinns baby from her, he wants to kill the people who used Finnicks body like he was a mere puppet. He wants to end the lives of those who are behind the death of all the parents, all the loved ones that his friends have lost. He wants to hold them responsible for their actions.

Yet, with all this rage inside him, as soon as a robot that is so close to an actual human comes close to him, he cant pull the trigger. He knows this is a threat, he knows hes supposed to kill this thing, but he cant. He cant kill and he freezes in place. He is taken out of the room, into another where Kurt waits patiently. Blaine tries to ignore the relief on Kurts face when he says he wont be going into combat. He hates it, he hates that he cant go out there and fight and that hell have to sit here and wait.

It hurts even more when they announce Coopers name, and Cooper is off to the Capitol with what they call the Star Quad. Holly with him, as a camera woman. He completely drops the tasks inked on his hand every morning and sits with Quinn, who is left behind by her sister and lover at the same time, waiting for Kurt to come in with the news every day.

One of those days, Primrose Everdeen walks in to give Quinn her medicine that keep her alive for now. Shes still so extremely fragile and small, they are giving her prenatal vitamins and supplement that improve the babys well being, but cant give medicine to fight the bloody cough she has. Quinn refuses to take them, as they will kill the baby. She says she can take them after birth, but Blaine wonders if shell even get that far.

“Beth would be her age now,” Quinn says after Primrose leaves, “weird, isnt it, that theyre the same age? I wonder what Beth does, do you think shes a nurse just like Prim?”

“Maybe,” Blaine answers sweetly, “maybe shes helping the wounded in the Capitol right now.”

Blaine knows she most likely isnt, but it seems to calm Quinn down and thats all he wants. Quinn falls back asleep and Blaine runs after Katnisss sister.

“Primrose!” He yells through the hall, “Primrose!?”

She turns around, “call me Prim,” she says with a gentle smile and then gives him a questioning look, “can I help you?”

“I just... -” he says, “I wanted to say, if you ever want to talk about your sister being in combat right now, Im here. My brother is there too, you know. Cooper Anderson is my brother.”

“I know,” Prim says, “I know who you are, and who your brother is. Thank you, so much, but Im afraid I cant do much talking. Im leaving to go there tomorrow myself.”

“Youre...- what?” Blaine stumbles over his words as he tries to comprehend what she just said, “youre only fourteen!”

“They need all the medical staff down there,” she says, “too many people have fallen already.”

Blaine nods and lets her go. He doesnt think about what she means until Kurt comes into the room with his eyes sunken and low.

“I was in the television room with Beetee,” he says, “we were trying to come up with a new weapon design that I could build into the uniforms. Its not good.”

Quinn is asleep, Kurt asks Blaine to wake her before he delivers the news and Blaine knows its going to be bad. Quinn wakes up more hazy than before, she seems confused about where she is and babbles nonsense until she lays eyes on Kurt.

“Its okay,” she tells Kurt, “he told me you were coming.”

“What?”

“In my dream, he said youd be here. I already know.”

“What is it you already know, Quinn?” Blaine asks. Hes not feeling comfortable about the situation at all. Kurt seems to tired, too worried and upright and Quinn is too much at ease, so peaceful. Its not right, something isnt right and someone needs to tell him what on earth is going on.

“Its Cooper, right?” She asks Kurt, whose eyes widen, before he turns to Blaine and takes hold of his hand.

“Yes,” he answers, “Im very sorry, Blaine.”

“No,” Blaine says, falling back in his chair as he deflates completely. “No, no, no.”

“We were in the TV room when a lot of commotion started to happen. It was dark and no one of the star quad had their camera on, so all we heard were the sounds from their costumes microphones, but it sounded like they were being chased by mutts.”

“Stop it,” Blaine rambles while letting go of Kurts hand. He gets up and starts to walk around, trying to get the pain out of his legs, out of his stomach and body. Out of his head., “no, youre not about to tell me that. You cant tell me that, its not true.”

“We heard Katniss scream Finnick and Coopers names, but it was too late. She contacted us a few minutes later to confirm.”

“No. Dont say it,” Blaine says, crouching in a corner and completely ignored Quinns inviting and open arms. “dont you dare say it. Dont fucking say it, Kurt, dont you dare.”

“Im very sorry, Blaine,” Kurt says again, “but Cooper is dead.”

The floor disappears beneath Blaines feet, or that is what it feels like. His stomach explodes and his thoughts start running in wild circles around his head. He thinks hes crying, but he cant be too sure. He bangs his fists on the floor as he screams, over and over again.

“No, no, no. Not Cooper, not Cooper. It isnt fair, not Cooper.”

He flinches when a hand is put on his shoulder, it hurts when a needle is jabbed into his arm and then his muscles relax and the world goes black. When he wakes up he is in a bed next to Quinn, his wrists and ankles bound to the bed again. As soon as he notices he starts to trash, screaming Coopers name as loud as he can.

“COOPER!”

Kurts hand on his cheek does nothing to calm him down. Cooper cant be dead, he needs to get to Cooper. There is no way Cooper is dead. He is going to fight president Snow and kill him and they are going to rebuild Panem in a much more peaceful way. They wont be repressed anymore and Cooper and Quinn will have this gorgeous little family with this beautiful little baby thats about to be born and Cooper Anderson cannot be dead. He will walk through that door any moment now. He will walk through that door and tell Blaine it was all a joke, that it was just a misunderstanding. They were pretending to be dead to keep Katniss safe. Yes, it was probably something ridiculous like that.

Expect it wasnt. Cooper is dead and they tell him three days later after they have identified some of his body parts. Blaine has never heard anything as cruel as that and he wonders if there wasnt any way they could have softened the blow. Hes still ordered to stay in bed, though hes calmer now. He wants to get out of District Thirteen and back home, where he can mourn on his own terms. He wants to go somewhere theyll let him thrash and scream and cry as much as he wants without thinking hes heaving a mental breakdown.

“My brother died,” he tells Kurt and its the first time he says it out loud. “My brother is dead, arent I allowed to scream and cry and smash a few chairs if I feel like it?”

“Of course you are,” Kurt says, kissing Blaines forehead. Hes in the bed with Blaine, ignoring all his duties for as long as they refuse to release Blaine from the hospital. There are only two people of medical staff left, everyone else flown out to the Capitol to help the cause. Its eerily quiet, just Quinn and Blaine here.

“My brother is dead and Finnick is dead. I really liked Finnick.”

“I know,” Kurt says, “youre allowed to cry as much as you want. When my mother died I cried for seven days straight.”

Blaine had almost forgotten about Kurts loss, but for some reason it gives him a little peace knowing Kurt isnt a stranger to this kind of sadness. There are so many things that he cant relate to with Kurt, and things Kurt cant relate to about him, but this they seem to share. Kurt knows exactly what to say and do to ease the pain and at the same time knows exactly how to let Blaine feel it, to make him live through it in the most healthy way possible given circumstances. Its strange, the feeling in his stomach that eats him away when he thinks about not having a brother anymore. When he realizes that he has no idea whether or not he has a mother and when he thinks of maybe hes going to lose Quinn as well. His entire world collapses and when he looks at Kurt there is a tiny spark in him that thinks maybe hell pull through.

He doesnt know how, and he doesnt even want to think about when, because for now he is allowed to be in pain. Cooper isnt coming back, he will never see Cooper again. He is gone, for good.

“Boys,” Quinn interrupts an intimate moment between Kurt and Blaine as he is crying into Kurts shoulder, “I think its time.”

“No,” Blaine says, “no, Quinn, youre not allowed to announce when you plan to die.”

“For the baby to come.”

“Oh.”

Mrs Everdeen, one of the people left behind, comes in with a bunch of warm clothes and orders Blaine out of bed and into Quinns bed. She positions him behind her, and positions her nurse to hold Quinns leg on one side as Kurt is ordered to do the same on the other side.

“Oh Quinn,” she sighs, “you waited a long time to announce that, didnt you?”

“I just felt something pressing, I thought that meant to baby was coming,” she says.

“Yes, you must have been in labor for at least a couple of hours. Werent you in pain?”

“Im in pain all the time, I thought those were just my lungs again.”

Quinn sounds so clear, Blaine doesnt like it. Its not the way shes been since they got out of the Capitols hold. She has been so fragile and broken the entire time, tired and her voice so hollow. She sounds clear now, almost strong and it cant be healthy for her body to push out a baby. He doesnt like it, he doesnt want it to be this way but he holds her and puffs with her. He tells her shes doing great as she pushes and he sings with her in between the pushes.

“You lucky, lucky thing,” she sings Blaines lullaby over and over again. She sings it to Blaine, to Beth, to this baby. She sings it to Cooper, to Finnick and everyone who has fallen in order to save Panem. She sings it so clearly, so beautifully it feels like an angel is reaching straight to all of their hearts. She sings it to the future generation who will be saved, which Cooper has helped secure. She sings for hours, until Mrs Everdeen announces the last push.

“Just once more, Quinn, and your baby will be here.”

Quinn pushes, a loud growl comes out of her mouth and a purple baby slips from between her legs. The baby starts to cry almost immediately and Blaine forgets about the world for a second when Quinn lets out a deep breath. She goes limp in Blaines arms, with a peaceful smile on her face and her eyes fixed firmly on her daughter.

“You did amazing, Quinn, you did amazing.” He kisses her hair, but she doesnt respond.

“Quinn?”

Mrs Everdeen turns around with the baby in her arms when she hears the tone in Blaines voice. Kurt, too, turns his gaze from the baby to Blaine and Quinn.

“Quinn!” Blaine shakes her as best as he can from behind her. She is limp, she is pale, she is not breathing and Mrs Everdeen closes her eyes with two gentle fingers.

“Im sorry, Blaine.”

“No,” Blaine whispers, crying softly as he watches the baby being wrapped in a warm cloth and gently put into Kurts arms. Kurt looks between the little girl and Blaine, obviously uncomfortable about what to do in this situation. He softly bounces the baby and starts singing. Its the first time Blaine hears him sing, its the first time he has probably sung since his mother died and its as if the angel Quinn had summoned with her voice settled into Kurt.

Someone walks into the room, Blaine cant be sure who because all he sees is Kurt. The person whispers something into Mrs Everdeens ear, who freezes dead in her tracks. The person leaves the room again, Blaine wonders if they even noticed the dead body in the bed. Theres an almost palpable silence in the room before Mrs Everdeen speaks.

“They did it.” She says. “They have the Capitol. They took control of the Capitol.”

Blaine doesnt know what to feel, as he keeps his eyes on Kurt. The cause is very much alive, they have reached their goal. The Capitol is in rebels hands. Quinn is dead, Cooper is dead, and their daughter is resting peacefully in the arms of the man Blaine loves.

He looks at the little girl and he knows. Everything inside him is in shambles, his world is shaking on its foundations but still he sees that one thing that keeps him going, that keeps him alive. He sees the silver lining through this all and what it is, what it always has been, and its love. She is theirs, born in a world where love survives. Because he fought for love, he fought to be free with Kurt and Quinn and Cooper fought for their love to be free. This little girl, she is the direct result of how much they loved each other and their love will survive in her.

“Do you want to name her?” Kurt asks, smiling down at her and Blaine, whos still holding Quinn close in his arms.

“I think...-” Blaine says, “I think well call her Almaz.”