Theres a burden in Blaines heart thats heavier than any of the burdens hes bared before. His mind fights a constant battle between figuring out if he wants to survive or if he wants to save his loved ones. One certainty at this point is that Quinn is going back into the Arena, the other certainty is the male tributes last name will be Anderson. Blaine spends his time figuring out what to do when Coopers name would be reaped, the other half of the time thinking of what to do when his own name is reaped. He knows Cooper would never forgive him if he volunteered for him, the same way he would never forgive Cooper if things were the other way around.

Still, the burden that Blaine bares doesnt have much to do with the announcement of this years Quarter Quell. Or maybe it does. The evening it was announced, on the day of Quinns whipping, hell had broke lose on the square right after.

Cooper and Blaines mom had screamed, sobbed and cried about how unfair it was, and the people had turned around like leaves. They had hated victors before that moment, thought they were Capitol lovers and Snows lapdogs. When Snow had announced they were about to kill another 23 of them in the Arena, people understood. It hadnt taken a single second and Quinn didnt even need to hand out the Mockingjay bread for the rebels to understand, were on your side.

The crowd had riled, the riot Blaine had felt starting before the announcement edged on by his mothers sobs. Tom had been the first one to start the attack, shoving through the sea of people and throwing rocks at the big screen which had broadcast the announcement. Without hesitation one of the peacekeepers surrounding the square had shot him through the head. There was nothing Blaine could have done, but he still feels like it should have been him to come forward, instead of Tom. After all, it was his or Coopers death that had just been announced.

Halina had screamed next to Blaine, and Quinn had grabbed her, stopped her from moving forward to drop down at her husbands body. If she had, Blaine is sure shed been shot just as easily as they had shot Tom. Still, now he thinks maybe they should have. Cooper had taken Halina in the house since. Formally as a housekeeper but mostly to keep her from falling apart now shes lost the three most important things in her life. He hasnt seen her since that night, shes locked away in one of Coopers extra rooms the same way Blaine has locked himself in.

Blaine doesnt like the rebellion anymore, not at all. He doesnt like that Cooper came in begging for Blaine to let Cooper in the Arena with Quinn, hates how he doesnt know what to do. He doesnt want to look at Quinn, knowing she lives with the guarantee of reliving all the horrors again. His nightmares are back, in which mostly all three of them are in the Arena, fighting others and fighting each other. Every time he wakes up screaming.

He has redone his house, lives out of one room now and doesnt leave it. He hasnt been outside since two days after the Quarter Quell was announced. Hed been on his way to his parents house after a sleepless night and saw Quinn and Cooper walking hand in hand around the grass field in the middle of Victor Villages square. She looked tired, too tired to even stand up straight. Cooper was holding her up with one arm around her waist, his free hand firmly clutching hers. Her eyes where red brimmed and her spirit broken.

It had broken Blaine, too, hed run back inside his house, dragged his mattress from the television room to the music room and has lived from there since. He eats the meals his mom brings him, but barely, and he plays the piano until he is too tired to even press the keys down. He hears the phone ring in the other room, about five times a day, and ignores it. He plays the piano louder, louder, even louder and then softer when his fingers get tired. He plays until he falls off the stool and only then he drags himself to the mattress to offer his body some rest. He ignores his mothers questions when she comes in, wishes there was a way he could change the locks on the door, but he doesnt have the energy or will power to even figure out how.

As time passes, he gets tired quicker and plays less piano. The more he sleeps, the groggier he becomes and the groggier he becomes, the more he sleeps. He avoids Quinn and Cooper at all costs, cant bare the see them and doesnt want to have the inevitable talk about what their strategies are going to be.

He takes baths only when he starts to smell himself, drinks when his mother sets tea in the room. Shes indulgent for a long time, brings him three meals a day to try and keep him on a normal and healthy day to day schedule, but his sleep pattern is so messed up and he hardly eats three bites of each meal, so his rhythm is utterly out of sync anyway.

For about a week she sends his father with the meals, but hes even more distant than he was after the first reaping. Blaine assumes its guilt he feels, still, because he was the one who had been in a rebelling movement and thus made his sons victims for the Arena. Blaine doesnt even try to tell him he shouldnt blame himself, that its the Capitol whos at fault here, because he just doesnt know anymore. Sometimes he thinks it might be better if hed just end it all right now, but then hes reminded that means Cooper will definitely enter the Arena and thats the only thing that keeps him going.

As far as going goes, the week his father brings over the food he barely eats anything at all. He doesnt bathe and finds himself on his mattress more than he sits at the piano creating useless music. His father doesnt force him to eat, doesnt talk to him the way his mother does and so when that week is over and his mother comes back into the house, its almost a blessing.

“Get up,” she says and yanks his blanket off him the way she used to when he was sixteen and didnt feel like going to school. When he was a normal boy, whose brother was a Hunger Games victor. When he had no idea of the horrors his brother was living with, when he himself was worry free and perfectly content with his life. He curses the Capitol, the Games, for taking it away from him.

His mother throws the blankets across the room and pulls on Blaines arm to get him in an upright position. He goes fighting, but his body is so weak she wins easily. She moves behind him, spreads her legs to pulls him towards her and then envelops him in a hug. Shed tried it before, touching him, when hed just moved into the music room, but he hadnt let her. He lets her now, doesnt think he has the energy or strength to fight her anymore.

She holds him for a long while, rocking him and kissing his hair, whispering sweet nothings. He doesnt feel twenty years old when hes in her arms, he feels like that tiny six year old who had no idea why his brother was hauled off onto a train. He knows now, he knows that train better than he ever wished he did. He closes his eyes and leans back against his mothers chest, smelling her warmness and reveling in her care. She holds him for a long time, and a little longer, until the phone rings and she gets up to get it.

“Im going to answer that phone,” she says, “you will drag yourself upstairs and take a bath, get dressed and then youll eat.”

“I really dont feel like...-”

“Nuh-uh,” his mother says while waving a finger at him, “its been four weeks, youve sulked enough. Youve got a few more weeks to gather your strength before you might enter that Arena.”

Without another word she walks out, leaves Blaine to her commands and he doesnt know why or how, but he decides to listen to her reason. He drags himself up from the mattress and climbs the stairs. Hes out of breath before he reaches the last step and he knows he needs to work on himself in order to have any chance of survival. Or if he wants to protect Quinn until the end. And what if Cooper enters the Arena, what if Blaine becomes the mentor responsible for Cooper or Quinn?

He fills the bathtub with hot water, too hot maybe, but he lets the water scald his skin and wash off the dirt from four weeks. Has it really been as long as his mother said? It doesnt feel as long, and at the same time it feels like its been five years since the Quarter Quell was announced. With his day and night routine messed up the way it is, he honestly cant tell what day it is anymore. If his mother is right, if four weeks have passed since the announcement of the Quarter Quell, that means there are only eight weeks until the Games. Seven weeks until either his or Coopers name will get reaped. Eight weeks until Quinn most definitely has to fight for her life again.

Blaine drops his head under water, wets his hair and is greeted with his mothers kind smile when he comes up for air again. She stands by the bathtub with no shame, puts some clean clothes on the stand next to the bath and tells him to be at their, though officially Coopers, house in half an hour. He doesnt question her, gets out of the bath and towels himself dry slowly. He puts on the clothes shes picked out and trots downstairs to eat some of the food she has brought over.

His stomach clenches after six bites of the freshly baked bread and so he finishes the tomato soup next to it before he leaves the ringing phone behind him and walks over to Coopers house. Hes met there with Quinn and Cooper curled up on the couch in the living room, he hears his mother rummage in the kitchen and his father is pacing the hallway. He gestures for Blaine to settle on the couch, who goes reluctantly.

Hes been ignoring his brother and Quinn for four weeks and he doesnt want to face them in this setting, where theyre curled up so close and obviously sharing an intimate moment.

Still, he is in Coopers house now and he cant go on ignoring them forever, so he goes and sits down in his fathers arm chair across the couch. Cooper throws him a smile, but its not the genuine one Blaine is used to and Quinn merely hides in Coopers arms. Blaine notices shes wearing only sweatpants and a wide sweater. Its very unlike her, she usually makes some kind of effort to look nice. She doesnt go as far as putting on her trademark tiara every time she leaves her house, but hes also never seen her leave in anything other than a skirt or dress.

When she does look up at Blaine, he lets out a breath he didnt know he was holding. She looks awful, to say the least, dark circles under her eyes and her hair is a mess. Its dirty and Blaine imagines it smells, praises Cooper silently for still holding her so tightly and then wonders if Kurt would hold him just the same. Her eyes are empty, too, red brimmed with tears and sorrow. Her mouth curls up and Blaine thinks she attempts a smile, but if this is how shell be going to the Capitol she wont have much chance of sponsors. No matter how much the crowd loved her the first time around, this girl right here is not something anyone would fight for, pay money to send in gifts.

“I just had that Kurt guy on the phone,” their mother says as she enters the room, “he said he was going out swimming later today. Made me promise to tell you, it was a bit odd. I didnt even know people in the Capitol could swim.”

“They cant,” Blaine answers, “or at least Kurt cant, he told me so when we were in District 4 with my victory tour.”

“Then why would he..-”, his father starts, but Blaine interrupts him when the realization hits him in the chest. Kurt, all this time, has been trying to call him. Kurt, who is close to Plutarch Heavensbee, The Head Gamemaker of the Quarter Quell. Hes trying to warn them.

“We need to learn to swim,” he says forcefully. Kurt, maybe its because hes out of the house for the first time in four weeks, maybe its because hes actually bathed and ate something and maybe its just because this is the first time in weeks hes even heard from Kurt, but the fire in his veins starts coursing at full speed again. Its the same fire he felt when his name first got reaped. Its the fire that has been growing inside him ever since he left the Arena, its what he felt when Cooper decided to fight for him, when Kurt told him hed help out. Its a will to fight. He can get out of this Arena alive. He can get either Quinn or Cooper out alive.

He has to choose between his own life and Quinn or Coopers. He cant do it, he cannot do it. They need to learn how to swim. His mind is a mumble of thoughts, one trying to overshadow the other. He tries to convince himself to save his loved ones and at the same time tries to convince himself he can survive this. He wants either, he wants to survive or for Cooper or Quinn to survive and in order for any of it to happen they need to learn how to swim.

“Not today,” his mother says.

“We need to learn how to swim in seven weeks, we need today.”

“Im sorry boys,” his father interjects, “no can do today. Miss Sylvester announced yesterday that she wants to visit all of us today. Shes coming over in half an hour. I want you all dressed and ready.” He looks at Quinn poignantly, who makes no effort to move.

Blaine takes another bread roll from his mother, eats it slower than the one before and manages to avoid the stomach cramps with this one. He still feels full after half of it, so instead he picks on it until head peacekeeper Sylvester arrives. His father keeps pacing the hallway until that point, looks more nervous than ever before and their mother and he whisper argue the for the last five minutes until the doorbell rings.

Sylvester walks into the house alone, without her uniform and her face seems serious. She says shes left one of her idiots in charge, and has to be out of here before the hour is over, or theyll kill every uprising rebel and there wont be any population left in District 9.

“Theyre still rebelling?” Cooper asks, sitting up a little and Quinn goes with him effortlessly. Her body follows Coopers every move, as if shes glued to him and maybe she is.

“Theyre out of hand!” Sylvester smirks, “you have to be really careful who to punish and how to punish them these days, because shooting at random just doesnt work anymore, we wouldnt have a single person left in the District.”

“Is the Quarter Quell supposed to calm them down?” Blaine asks, to which Sylvester answers negatively.

“Oh, I think Snow shot himself in the foot with that one,” she says, and even though Blaine knows a lot of rebels by now, something so decidedly against president Snow still sounds strange out of the mouth of their head peacekeeper, a position of someone he always thought had to love the Capitol deeply.

Sue Sylvester points at Quinn, who crawls deeper into Coopers side at the gesture, even though it shouldnt physically be possible.

“You, Quinn Fabray, have always been my favorite.”

Quinn perks up, only a little, and looks Nines head peacekeeper straight in the eye.

“You were wrong to believe in me,” she whispers, “I was a lucky victor, Id never survive in this pool of fighters.”

“Nonsense,” Sylvester says, “you just werent trained properly before.”

“Theyre not allowed to train.”

“Well, mister Anderson, has anyone ever stopped the other Districts? Its up to peacekeepers to report training tributes to the Capitol and not one of my men and women will, I can assure you that.”

Sue takes one out a cracker engraved with Katnisss mockingjay, takes a demonstrative bite of it, points at Quinn once more and tells her to be at the whipping pole in Center Village the next morning. Its an odd meeting point, perhaps, but its clear and Blaine just hopes it doesnt mean shell report them for training after all.

“Ill only come if the boys are allowed to come with,” Quinn says, pressing herself closer to Cooper again as if trying to prove a point. Sue Sylvester sighs, looks at the brothers and then relents.

“Fine,” she says, “I need one of you lot to win anyway.”

She probably means that she herself gets a year round of monthly food supplies, which come with a winning tribute for the District, but to Blaine it doesnt matter anymore. If Quinn and Cooper will go training, then so will he. Theyll hardly kill them before the Arena for training, the way they would normally do with non-career Districts, and in the Arena it can only help either him or his brother and Quinn.

He doesnt care about Sylvesters motivation, about Quinns or Coopers. As long as all three of them are in top shape by the time the reaping comes around, hes happy. As happy as can be. And the reaping comes closer and closer with each day passing.

And so the next morning he follows his brother and Quinn to the main square, where they meet Sylvester, and immediately he tells her he wants to learn to swim. Miss Sylvester quickly agrees with him, doesnt ask questions about his motivations and so he doesnt ask questions about hers. They get special permission to visit the lake, just like they have special permission to break pretty much any of the new rules in the District. Blaine is happy to leave the main square, regardless where theyre going. The tiles next to the pole are covered in blood and peacekeepers walk around with their whips ready in hand. Most stores look empty, robbed, windows broken and doors forced open. He doesnt like the neglected feel the entire place gives him.

They get to the lake each morning just before nine, and Sue Sylvester makes them work their butts off. Surprisingly, the strict regimen she puts them on actually helps Blaine get back into his own. His day to day sleeping schedule evens out within the first week and he can feel his muscles strengthening by the time the second weeks comes around. Even his head feels clearer than it did, maybe ever before. Its definitely the healthiest he has felt since his return from the Arena.

At night he still sleeps in the music room in his own house, needing the time to think about things before bed. He plays the piano still, though not obsessively anymore. He thinks about his strategy, what he will do in the Arena and whether hell save his own life or Quinns. If theres one thing he is sure of, now hes working together with Quinn and Cooper, is that hell volunteer if Coopers name will be called.

It might be selfish, but he knows Quinn agrees with him that Coopers life is worth more than his. He doesnt even blame her for thinking that way, is grateful she does because he knows for a fact Cooper wont forgive him if he doesnt let him go into the Arena with Quinn.

Blaine doesnt talk about it to Cooper, figures theyll only fight about it and so he relies on Quinns information that Cooper plans on volunteering if Blaines name would be called.

The energy he strangely requires from Sue Sylvesters strict training schedule, her shouting and uncomfortable kind moments make Blaines lust to fight grow with every sunrise and he learns more from Sue Sylvester than any trainer in the training center could ever teach him. He knows how to swim within three weeks after they start their training, and four weeks after he can make a fire without matches effortlessly.

The weeks fly by, the phone doesnt ring anymore and at the end of the day Blaine is too exhausted from training to think of picking up his phone to call Kurt and before he gets the chance to, reaping day arrives.

Isabelle comes knocking on the door early morning, she looks tired and worn and her hostility towards Quinn seems to have completely disappeared as she hugs her close. She does the same to Cooper, then to Blaine and pulls away with tears in her eyes. Blaine knows she wasnt Cooper or Quinns escort all those years ago, but she has been the escort for District 9 for six years now and so she knows them pretty well. Sending them off, knowing one of them is about to die must cause her some form of hurt as well.

Blaine wears the same outfit he wore two years ago, though this time he attaches the bow tie Kurt had given him on the night of his interview. Cooper wears the suit Kurt had designed for him for the final feast on Blaines victory tour, and Quinn wears a light blue evening gown. Cooper attaches his silver star to his shirt, Quinn puts on a silver tiara with a star in the middle and with Blaines bow tie covered in silver stars they look like a team, ready to show the Capitol their eagerness to fight.

In the whole three months leading up to the reaping, they havent discussed their roles in the rebellion anymore, have been utterly quiet about it all. Its obvious this Quarter Quell is a quest for President Snow to get rid of Katniss Everdeen and her fire that started the rebellion, but they all know its quite convenient for him that several rebelling victors will be entering the Arena with her. If theres anything Blaine can do in the Arena to help the rebellion and the downfall of Snow along, hell do it and their father had figured looking like a team, unwilling to go down without a fight, would be the start of it.

Isabelle leaves them alone to dress mostly, stands awkwardly beside the door as they all hug their mother and father goodbye, for what might just as well be the last time they ever see them. She isnt sure she is supposed to say, but Isabelle informs them the protocol has been changed and they wont be granted their chance to say goodbye after the reaping.

“They think youll all do that before, since its such a small reaping pool,” she says, with an apologetic look towards Quinn.

“Dont worry about it,” Quinn says, “it isnt your fault.”

“I just feel bad,” Isabelle admits, “there isnt anything I can do to help you and I feel terrible about that. I quite like you, despite all our differences, I like the way you wont let the world treat you like crap.”

“Youre right, I wont,” Quinn quips, “and this is no exception. Im not letting them treat me like this without holding them responsible, I promise.”

“Good,” Isabelle says and Blaine wonders if she even truly knows what shes agreeing with. That Quinn is talking about wanting to bring such an effect with her appearance in the Arena that people will fight until the Hunger Games are over, that she wants the world to change and wont stop until her fire burns as bright and heavy as Katnisss.

“Its time to go,” she says, squeezing Blaines shoulder. Blaine holds his mother for a few long seconds, before his father pries her off him and claps a strong hand on his shoulder.

“Be strong, my boys,” he says to both Blaine and Cooper, “I love you.”

Blaine tries his hardest not to break, the words falling heavy on his stomach. It feels like a stone dropped inside him, his fathers words, which he meant to be a relief, weigh down heavy on his heart. His father had been distant, so distant with guilt since the announcement of the Quarter Quell and Blaine had so desperately wanted some recognition from him, but hearing his father tell them he loves them now feels like too much. Too little, too late. Another responsibility, another person hell let down when he loses his life. Another person to come back to and face, feel guilty about losing Cooper, Quinn or both would he get back.

His fathers words of love are almost more painful than his mothers piercing sobs. Hes heard those before, the first time he was hauled off to the Capitol, when the Quell was announced. His mothers sounds of agony are almost familiar to him now, where his fathers words of love form a new unsettling feeling deep in the pit of his soul. He wonders, briefly, how much more guilt and responsibility he can bear before he bursts at the seams, fire in his veins shooting through his body heavier than ever before.

He follows Isabelle, his brother and Quinn, who is as good as a sister to him, to the Justice Building. Hes not put in a square full of candidates this time, they dont even have to sign up. All he has to do is follow Isabelle onto the stage and take his place next to his brother. Isabelles face appears on the screen as she announces the Quarter Quell. They watch the clip about the Dark Days in silence, and Coopers hand finds Blaines. Blaine squeezes tightly and lets a single tear roll down his cheek. He hopes the cameras catch it, wants them to see how much it hurts to stand here next to his brother, a few feet away from the girl he trusts more than anyone in the world. Knowing fully well he is about to enter a nightmare. Come hell or high water, the Arena or a mentor, nothing that the future can bring will ever erase this from his mind and nothing will ever heal him from the scars this years Games are about to inflict on him or his family.

“And now,” Isabelle says, “for this years female tribute.”

The audience on the square is dead quiet, Blaine wonders if they have constructed another riot to start after the reaping, though he doubts it with the square extra full of outer Districts peacekeepers and officials. He doesnt get to contemplate about it long, as Isabelles voice interrupts his thoughts.

“Quinn Fabray!” She announces. There isnt any applause, though its usual, and Quinn takes two steps on the stage to stand right next to Isabelle.

Blaine isnt really aware of what happens with Isabelle and Quinn, he feels Coopers hand go rigid in his own and then it starts to shake. When he looks up next to him, Cooper looks like hes in shock. He stares off into the distance, far beyond the crowd in front of them and tears are covering his face. His entire body is shaking, Blaine thinks he might be on the verge of collapsing. He pries his hand out of Coopers tight grip and slings an arm around Coopers waist, doing everything withing his power to keep his brother upright. Cooper, however, doesnt respond to anything.

“Blaine Anderson!” Isabelles voice echoes across the square and its only then Blaine realizes she has already picked the male tributes name out of the bowl. He lets his arm slide off Coopers body, Cooper keeps upright but doesnt respond. He shakes, still, and keeps staring off into space. Hes completely out of this world, checked out the second Quinns reentering the Arena became a solid concept with her name being reaped, and Blaine knows hes not going to volunteer anytime soon. He lets Cooper stand on his spot as he walks towards Quinn and Isabelle.

Quinn looks concerned to Blaine, but its only slightly and only seen in her eyes. The crowd cant see it, to the crowd and to the cameras she most likely still looks as fierce as ever. She reaches out, Blaine walks past Isabelle, into her arms, without hesitation and clings to her.

“Hell never forgive himself,” she whispers, “when he comes back to himself and knows youre entering, hell never get over this. You have to win.”

“He needs you more,” Blaine answers, “you can provide him with a love and a sense of security I never could.”

“If you die, hell never forgive himself,” Quinn retorts and thats the moment Isabelle decides shes let them be free enough. She forcefully steps between them, takes each of their hands and raises them into the air. With a strained voice she announces, “I present to you District 9s seventy-fifth Hunger Games tributes, Quinn Fabray and Blaine Anderson.”

Everything from that moment is a blur, theyre pushed towards the Justice Building, a peacekeeper practically dragging Cooper along, and theyre pushed all the way to the back onto the platform, where their train to the Capitol awaits.

“Okay, okay,” Isabelle orders the peacekeepers surrounding the group, “Im pretty sure theyre not making a break for it, a little distance?”

The circle around them gets a little wider, though not much, and the next thing Blaine knows hes being shoved onto the train by a gun that pokes his back. The doors close the second Cooper is thrown inside, and the train begins to drive.

Isabelle looks between them awkwardly, as if shes not sure what to do now her usual introductions to the tributes arent necessary. She doesnt have to tell them the train ride takes fifteen hours, they already know that. She doesnt have to show them their assigned compartments, they already have them and she doesnt have to tell them to get some rest before dinner. Not because they know that, but because she knows there isnt any way the three of them will be able to find rest.

Cooper still seems oddly zoned out where he sits on the ground, having fallen down when the train started moving, and Quinn hauls him up and guides him towards his compartment. She tells him to
snap out of it, that it will all be okay and that theyll fight. Theyll fight.

“We need you here, Cooper, with us,” she tells him, though there is no indication she is getting through to him. Its strange, almost, how a tribute tries to get through to her mentor. Because that is how the roles are now, Quinn and Blaine are Coopers tributes.

Blaine tries to find the part in himself where he had wished for Cooper to step up and volunteer, but he cant find it. Somewhere deep inside his soul he knows this is how it was supposed to be. Him and Quinn, against the other Districts. He knows this is the way they should have agreed on the formation to be, no matter what. Quinn and Cooper would have never been a good idea, they are too close to see each other die. Too close to be able to fight after the others death. Of course, Blaine loves Quinn dearly and deeply, but not as much as Cooper does. It was always supposed to be him in that Arena with Quinn. Always.

He finds his own compartment easily, having been on this train so much by now it hardly feels like hes away from home. Which, in fact, he is. There is a great chance this morning was the last hed see of his father, of his mother and District 9. He hasnt even had a chance to say goodbye to Sue, or Tishs family. Halina, who had spent the morning steering clear of the family, he hasnt said goodbye to the quiet woman who had lost everyone because of the stupid rebellion.

That damned rebellion, that caused for Snow to manipulate this years Quarter Quell in the first place. With his thoughts wandering from Halina, to Cooper, to Kurt and back around, to his family and his District, he falls into an uncomfortable sleep filled with nightmares and he doesnt wake until the following morning. Its early, and in the dining compartment he finds Quinn and Cooper curled up on one of the lounge chairs together, still fast asleep. He grabs a bun, being hungry from missing dinner the night before, and eats it. It tastes like cardboard, and the freshly squeezed orange juice he pours himself doesnt taste much different. He eats because his stomach growls and hurts, but in no way can he possibly enjoy the meal he was able to in the previous years.

Isabelle comes in just as he grabs his second bun and Blaine wonders how long shes been up already. She looks impeccable, to Capitols standards. Her hair is high and pointy, silver lace woven into it. Her eyelids are painted with silver eyeliner, very much the same way Kurt has them permanently marked and her lips match them effortlessly. Her dress is simple, pale green and tight around her petite frame. Her shoes are high and, again, silver. Its almost as if shes done it on purpose.

She sits down across from Blaine quietly and throws him a meaningless smile. She eats some salad and two buns. She, too, seems not to enjoy them much, Blaine can read a dread in her eyes he cant quite place.

“I dont want to wake them,” she says, and as soon as she speaks something in the room shifts. The awkward silence makes place for something more real, more prominent and painful. The tension remains, becomes nearly palpable and Blaine feels like bursting at the seams, ripping his skin off and screaming out the agony he burdens constantly inside. He doesnt, though, he doesnt even move at all. He looks Isabelle in the eye and sighs softly at the tears he sees her blink away.

“I can do it, if you want,” he whispers, assumes his brother and Quinn will prefer his gentle hand over Isabelles businesslike demeanor anyway.

“No, its not that – its just, as soon as I wake them Ill rip them apart. Quinn will need to shower and get dressed and hauled off into prep as soon as she gets off the train. When they see each other again, it will be different. Shell be a real tribute then, and it will never be the way it is now anymore. I dont want to take that away from them.”

Just like that, Isabelle becomes that much more real, that much more human and Blaine feels a strange twinge of compassion towards her. He looks at her through unbiased eyes for a moment, sees a tired woman who has lived a hundred lives in the past few weeks, sees someone who genuinely cares for her tributes and briefly he entertains the idea of getting up and giving her a hug. Before he can really consider it hes pulled out of his thoughts by a thud and a loud groan. Looking to his left, he finds Cooper has fallen out of Quinns embrace and to the floor.

“Damn,” he mutters, and despite everything Blaine manages a giggle.

“I guess you wont have to worry about waking them anymore,” he tells Isabelle as they watch Quinn laugh and help Cooper up.

Its a funny sight, Quinn in he gorgeous light blue dress, her sleeves slipped down her shoulders and her tiara askew on her head. Her feet are bare, her shoes abandoned next to the chair and her hand clutches to Coopers tightly. Without her heels the dress is slightly too long for her, and she trips over it as he skips through the door towards their own compartment.

About twenty minutes before they are due to arrive at the Capitols train station Blaine excuses himself, needing some time alone before the crazy will ensue. He finds his way to the back of the train, a tip Johanna Mason told him about, and takes a deep breath and settles on the sofa all the way at the back of the compartment. Around him are nothing but windows and he lets serenity fall over him as trees and green land rush past.

Its quiet, apart from the soft whoosh of the train. He sees wild animals, birds and the wind blowing in the trees and the quiet that radiates off the surroundings make him forget about the Capitol for a while, about the Arena and the fact that Cooper is about to lose either him or Quinn. He doesnt think about how he needs to come up with a strategy still. Hes trained, he can fight but he doesnt know who yet, he had slept through the recap of the reaping. For now, though, all he does is watch the world disappear behind him.

He starts watching ahead only when the train jolts a bit and he soon learns its because theyre entering the Capitol through the great walls surrounding it. The serenity the green surroundings brought him are taken away as soon as he sees the painting standing out against the gray concrete of the wall. Its large and an odd color of purple, and it makes Blaine wonder what it means that the rebellions sign of the mockingjay has reached the Capitol. He cant get it out of his head, not until he steps off the train not much later and is swept away by the Games craziness that greets him on the platform.

Its full of reporters, cameras and cheering Capitol fans. Quinn, he and Cooper wave politely, Blaine gets tired of it not a minute after he enters the platform and so he is extremely happy to see Sugars face at the far end of the crowd.

Shes in tears, she hugs him tightly and tells him shes going to do everything within her power to make him the most likable of this years tributes. She tells him how much it hurts to send in someone she knows, that she loves Blaine so dearly and doesnt want him to lose and that shes sorry hell be losing Quinn in the process but that hell have to get over it because there isnt a way she could live with the guilt of having Blaines death on her conscious. Its weird, Blaine wants to hug her and punch her at the same time.

He undergoes his prep ritual without complaining, or even groaning. Its a very basic ritual. They pluck his eyebrows, shave his facial hair and apply the cream that stings, the one that wont make it grow for half a year. Just like two years ago, he refrains from telling them he will most likely be dead before then. It didnt happen, then, either. Besides, they had been absolutely right about the hair not growing for six months.

When after not more than an hour of preparation Sugar orders the others to fetch Kurt, an unexpected blush rises in Blaines cheeks. He hasnt spoken to Kurt since before the announcement of the Quarter Quell and with his mind occupied on feeling depressed and later training, he hadnt fully appreciated how much he missed Kurt until this very moment. The moment where he is about to see him again.

“Could you be a dear and get me some painkillers?” He asks Sugar. “Just light ones, I feel a head ache coming on.”

He doesnt, but he figures it will take her a while and its the best excuse he can come up with to get her to leave so he can be alone with Kurt. She nods with tears in her eyes, kisses his cheek and then skips off, passing Kurt on her way out.

“Kurt,” Blaine breaths as soon as they lock eyes. With three long strides hes right in front of him, grabs his face and kisses him hard on the lips. Kurts lips are pliant and eager against his own, Kurt swings his arms around Blaines waist and pulls him in as close as he can get him. They kiss long and hard for a moment, before Kurt breaks away and crushes Blaine with force as he hugs him. He presses his face in Blaine freshly washed and damp curls, breaths him in and lets his tears fall on Blaines bare shoulder.

Blaine grips tight on Kurts dark gray jacket. Its a simple one, everything about Kurt seems simplified. The only silver thing about him are the everlasting streaks in his hair and lines around his eyes, the tattoo prominent and wet with tears. Kurt pulls back and Blaine looks directly into his eyes, surges forward for another kiss, but Kurt pushes him backwards.

“Damn you, Blaine,” he says, “I tried calling you every single night and you stopped answering. Do you know how worried I was? And the first thing I have to see of you again is on a screen, how your name gets reaped?”

“Kurt... I...-”

“I wanted to talk to you, I missed you and I love you and you choose to ignore me. Youre an asshole, Blaine Anderson, a complete and utter asshole”

“Im sorry?” Blaine tries, but Kurt stomps past him towards the closet hed pulled Blaines suit out of two years ago.

“I had two designs in my head,” Kurt says, changing the subject and so Blaine thinks its best to drop it until theyre in a somewhat more private and intimate setting than this sterile room, “one for if Cooper had been reaped and one for you. But Ill let you choose.”

He pulls out two suits, one that looks a lot like the bread crust jumpsuit from his own Games and one that looks like a tuxedo made out of potato sack. Or, maybe, Blaine thinks, out of grain sack.

“Im not sure I understand?” Blaine says, taking the grain sack suit from Kurts and runs in through his hands. Its a rough fabric, cant be comfortable or even flattering and Blaine doesnt understand why Kurt would want to put him in something like that.

“Its symbolic for...-” Sugar chooses that moment to enter the room with a pill in one hand, a glass of water in the other.

“Whats that?” She asks Kurt, when she sees the suit Blaine is holding. Blaine matches her questioning look towards Kurt, needing an explanation before he chooses.

“Its a throwback, to your first interview with Caesar,” Kurt shrugs, “I thought it would be a fun little detail. Remember how he said you wore a grain sack that time he interviewed you and your family after Coopers victory?”

“Oh! Thats so adorable!” Sugar answers, “you should wear that, the people will love a little nostalgic touch.”

Blaine gives her a tight smile, then turns to Kurt. “I remember that interview, Caesar called me a...-”

“So,” Kurt interrupts before Blaine can say the word rebel out loud, “are you wearing that, or the one Nine always wears?”

It hits Blaine then, that these suits are another way of Kurt and his clever communication system. Where in their phone calls they had to rely on words and ways around topics, here Kurt uses memories and clothing. The best way he knows how to communicate, to show his passion, by putting it all into his work. Blaine wishes he could lunge forward and bury his face in the crook of Kurts neck, tell him how much hes missed him and how dearly he loves him. Tell him about the way his body feels vibrant around him and that Kurt is the only one he trusts besides his family. That he needs tonight to be here already, because even though that means his next days in the Arena are closer, it means he gets to sleep safe and sound in Kurts arms again.

Because he understands that if he chooses what Nine always wears, he chooses the Capitol, he chooses to stay the way it always was. And because he knows Kurt is asking him now, what do you want to do? Hes asking if theyre being safe and do what the Capitol wants them to, or if they are still fighting and rebelling. In his first interview, Caesar had called Blaine a little rebel in a grain sack and if he chooses to wear the grain sack now, he will show Kurt, and maybe even president Snow, that he isnt going down without a fight.

He looks at Kurt for a moment, wonders what Kurt wants him to choose. He cant read it in his eyes, or his expression. Kurt is still mad at him and Blaine wishes he could tell Kurt how sorry he is, explain to Kurt how things have been and why he hasnt been in touch. He wonders if maybe things would have been better sooner had he heard Kurts voice every night, but he cant. Not when Sugar stands just a few meters away from them still silently crying. Not when Kurt wants him to answer, are we fighting or is it over? Blaine knows its his decision, his alone. He wishes Kurt would tell him what to do, or Cooper, but he has to decide if he wants to fight to keep himself alive or if he wants to fight to make the world a better place.

And thats the nuance, isnt it? He has to decide whether hell be selfish fighter or a fighter for the greater good. Whatever he chooses, hell most likely die in the process anyway and suddenly the decision is an easy one.

“Ill wear this,” he says with determination and holds up the grain sack.

Sugar gives a squeal, Kurt forces a smile and Blaine tries not to let a tear roll down his cheek when he sees the frustration growing in Kurts eyes.

Blaine pulls on the suit, lets Sugar and Kurt fuss over his hair and as Sugar keeps stopping to squeeze Blaine into uncomfortable hugs, Kurt sends her away. They are done long before its time to get to the chariots for the opening ceremony, so they spend their afternoon curled on the couch.

Its quiet at first, apart from the zooming sound of the bright lights above them. The air is stiff and the tension between them pregnant with fear and anger. Blaines body aches to crawl close to Kurt and cry himself to sleep in those strong, pale and endless arms but he cant. He doesnt know what to say and so he waits, and waits, waits for Kurt to speak up.

“I know it was worse for you than for me,” Kurt eventually breaks the silence, tentatively resting his own hand over Blaines in between them. “But I do think I had a right to be upset as well. I know you heard that there was a great chance to go back in, but did you think about how that made me feel?”

“I..-”

“I couldnt sleep, for weeks I couldnt sleep and I tried calling you whenever I could but you wouldnt answer. I tried your parents house, but every time this girl would answer and as soon as I said my name shed hang up. And then one time, your mom answered and she said you werent capable of coming to the phone. I told her to tell you something and I thought maybe youd get back to me, but you didnt and I couldnt sleep and I couldnt eat and I missed you and I started to think you didnt miss me anymore.”

“I didnt,” Blaine answers honestly when Kurt stops talking, “The moment the Quell was announced I lost my mind. I didnt want to go back in, I didnt know what to do because either way it was going to be hell and so I locked myself up and played the piano. Its all I did, all I ever did until my mom answered the phone. Im sorry I didnt miss you, and Im sorry I never talked to you but I hope you understand I had other things on my mind.”

“I didnt,” Kurt says now, “I didnt have anything other on my mind than this. Every day I was reminded, I needed to start samples for you and Cooper so I was reminded. I tried calling you and you wouldnt answer so I was reminded. Plutarch Heavensbee came to our house almost daily for dinner, and he was so enthusiastic about his ideas and I was reminded.”

Blaine shoots up, looks at Kurt and lunges forwards into his arms. “Im sorry,” he whispers, over and over again, “Im sorry, Im so sorry, Im sorry Kurt.”

Kurts arms come around him, he hears the sniffling and knows Kurt is crying. He feels it coming up at the back of his throat, his eyes burn and as the salty tears stream down his face it gives off a nasty sting where his facial hair has been removed, but he lets them fall without care. Kurt is right here, with him and he can smell him and they have so little time until the Games begin. Plutarch has been around Kurt a lot, knowing Kurt was the only way to get in touch with Nines tributes. He holds Kurt for as long is physically possible, and only when its time for the opening ceremonies do they part.

Blaine finds his way to Quinn, who stands next to him in a form fitting dress made out of grain sack. “You look gorgeous,” he tells her. She mostly just looks pale and tired. Blaine tries not to look around to the other tributes, sees more familiar faces than he had wanted. He smiles politely at a few of them, waves to where he sees Johanna and Finnick talk. Johanna waves back with a bright smile, though she looks kind of ridiculous in her tree-dress and Blaine blushes a bright red as his eyes wander down Finnicks bare form.

Everything for the rest of the day happens without Blaine paying much attention to it, they pass the Capitols audience standing tall. None of the tributes wave like they do most years, all of them staring straight ahead, its obvious they all are trying to stand above the Capitol. Blaine dares to look around, sees how ridiculous the older tributes are in their Districts costumes. The tributes from Six look terrible, tiny and sick and when Quinn whispers “morphlings, theyre addicts,” he understands they will probably be the first ones to die. President Snow says his words, mostly focused on the chariot where the tributes from Twelve stand. Katniss and Peeta are on fire, again, and steal the crowds attention. Blaine doesnt mind, much, he wants to get this over with.

Once that happens, Isabelle takes all of them up to the new training center. Its a larger building, with their quarters bigger than before. Blaine gets situated in a room at the far end of the hall and Isabelle turns to Kurt and tells him she wont bother showing him his room with a wink. Kurt throws her a grateful smile and follows Blaine inside.

Blaine undresses slowly, tells Kurt to do the same. When Kurt looks at him questioningly, Blaine shrugs. “I just want to be skin to skin,” he explains, “nothing sexual, just want to be as close to you as I can get.” Kurt nods to that, takes of the dark gray suit he was wearing and slips into the bed with Blaine. They dont talk, but this time there isnt any tension or awkwardness. Its the closest Blaine thinks he can get to bliss in the few last days he has before he will start fighting for his life again. He knows Kurt probably has a lot to share with him, Quinn and Cooper. That there is some sort of a plan within the rebellion that needs to be addressed, but for now he lets himself drift off to sleep with the sweetest of smells comforting every nerve in his body.

He awakes later with a jolt, as the bed dips violently. Looking around, he finds Cooper and Quinn on either side of them on the bed. Cooper behind Kurt, Quinn in front of him. She smiles down at him sweetly and strokes his hair.

“Cooper has been talking to Finnick and Mags today,” she says, “and we believe Kurt has some stuff to tell us.”

“Mags?”

“Fours female tribute,” Cooper explains, “she was Finnicks mentor back then.”

Blaine nods, and tries to hide a smile as Kurt grunts and rubs his eyes, waking up a lot harder than Blaine. Blaine looks out the window of his room, sees its dark, as well as completely silent and wonders if he and Kurt have missed dinner. That would mean missing two dinners in a row. He hears Sues voice in his head, yelling about how important a healthy meal is to stay in shape. He guesses he could order something, encouraged to do so when his stomach growls loudly.

He orders food from the menu he finds in the bedside table, and it gets sent up to his room pretty much immediately. They grab the meal and head to the roof. Its the dead of night, its not like anyone in their quarters will overhear them but they cant be too careful. The rooftop, though, is loud and windy and decidedly the safest place to share secret in-tell. Blaine and Kurt settle next to each other, each of them picking at the food on the plate absentmindedly as Kurt starts to tell them all he couldnt in the months leading up to the Quell.

He tells them about how the moment the Quarter Quell was announced, Plutarch had stood on their doorstep to think of plans with Burt Hummel. How they had decided to find a way to get most victors out, and how Kurt himself had begged to at least save the tributes from District 9. He tells them Plutarch told him he was sorry, but couldnt make that promise. He tells them how close Plutarch is to President Snow and that he knows the Quarter Quell this year was only fabricated to destroy the image of Katniss Everdeen, the Mockingjay of the revolution.

“He said he couldnt save you all,” Kurt whispers, “but he does want all the other tributes to save Katniss. She is the face of the rebellion and if she defeats the Capitol again, they think they have the greatest chance of overtaking Snow.”

“So youre saying?” Cooper asks. He seems to have come into himself again, though he keeps avoiding Blaines gaze.

“Im saying, Plutarch told me to give you guys the option between fighting for your own life and fighting to keep her alive.”

Its a bomb that drops in between the four of them, though it doesnt necessarily explode yet. Cooper pulls Quinn close to him, buries his face in her hair and inhales deeply. He whispers something in her ear, to which she scoots closer and nods.

“What will happen if we say no?” She asks.

“Im not sure,” Kurt answers, “but being on Katnisss side is your greatest chance. He plans on breaking all of you out and taking you to District 13 at some point. Dont ask, yes Thirteen still exists he promises, I dont know any more about that. What I do know is that each informed tribute has a separate task in this operation and the remaining tributes at the break out point will all be rescued.”

“What would our task be?” Blaine follows up to Quinns inquiry.

“Do everything to keep the face of the rebellion alive. And right before the break out point, make sure her tracker is out. Attack her if you must.”

“Katniss?”

“The Mockingjay.”

“How much do they know?”

“Nothing,” Kurt answers, “Peeta and Katniss know nothing about this operation, because if all fails and we get caught by the Capitol, they will be the first ones to be interrogated.”

“Well do it,” Cooper says, Blaine glares angrily at first, but then decides he must let Cooper talk. He knows Cooper has been in the rebellion longer than he has, has better insight in things like this and he knows Cooper functions as their mentor here. If this is the tactic hes going to use, Blaine as his tribute only needs to follow him.

“We will do everything within our power to save Katniss Everdeen,” he says, “because this world needs to change. The Games need to stop for future generations and we need to end this repression we live in. We were prepared to fight before, when nothing much was going on and now that it comes this close to home we need to keep fighting.”

“Easy for you to say,” Quinn starts, but Blaine interrupts her.

“Well fight, for the futures right,” he says. He scoots closer to Kurt, plate of food forgotten in front of them and he lets himself be buried deep inside Kurts arms. “Well do it, but now well spend as much time as we need together. There is a great chance that in the Arena we need to sacrifice ourselves to save Katniss, save the rebellion and the future, so please tell me for now we can forgo training and just be together?”

“Youd need to befriend Katniss or Peeta to get their trust,” Cooper says, but Quinn interrupts now.

“We have Johannas trust, and Finnicks trust. Well make sure they know were in and well manage.”

Later that night, back in Blaines bed and Kurts arms, Kurt tells him how surprised he is they decided so quickly. He tells Blaine that he himself had struggled with everything much more, that he had wanted Blaine to fight selfishly for them.

Blaine, in turn, explains to Kurt how much more he fights for them and their love now. That if he manages to survive, theyll be in the rebellion and theyll change the world. That their love wont be illegal anymore if they can just make sure to win this fight. Kurt kisses him in return, hard and deep, and makes him promise to do everything within his power.

Kurt keeps kissing him and Blaine keeps kissing him back, their tongues battling in a much sweeter way than Blaine will do in the Arena. Kurt promises Blaine forever, Blaine promises fearlessly back. They twine their bodies, rock together and every nerve in Blaines being feels on fire on a whole new level. All fear and dread leave him for this moment and all he feels is Kurt, love and safety. He writhes against Kurts frame, claws at his back until hes as physically close as is humanly possible and all the while their lips remain connected.

With the thoughts of fighting fearlessly, forever, for loves like theirs to have free reign, they stay awake and connected until morning comes and Isabelles name calls them to the breakfast table.

It takes them some effort to convince Isabelle to skip training, but when Cooper accidentally slips theyve been training with Sue and he just wants to spend as much time with his brother and girlfriend as possible, she seems to melt and lets them off their duties for the day, just as long as Cooper promises he wont neglect his duties as mentor and try to gather sponsors. Little does Isabelle know that theyll get Plutarch Heavensbees insiders as their very own personal sponsors now they have decided to join the battle.

Blaine slightly feels like the decision was made for him, that Kurt had forced him into it with his grain suit and Cooper as a mentor had promised theyd join, but deep down he knows this is the only way he has a chance to get out. If the head gamemaker truly is set on getting Katniss out alive, him choosing for himself would mean turning against the head gamemaker. And so he doesnt fight it much.

He talks about it with Kurt, though, as they lie under the covers naked that day. He whispers how scared he is that at some point he will have to sacrifice himself to save her, that he thinks these are his last days with Kurt. Kurt answers by pulling him close and covering every inch of his skin with kisses, promising theyll make the most of the little time they have. Which they do. They spend every other minute with Cooper and Quinn, Isabelle kind enough to steer clear of the quarters most of the days. Their avoxes and Tina manage to stay out of their way as well, Blaine isnt even sure he has seen them at all.

Cooper does everything in his power to avoid the subject of the reaping, not wanting to talk about his black out. Blaine doesnt blame him, not in the slightest, but he indulges Cooper and doesnt mention it. Kurt does cry over it at night, silently admitting he had wished it was Cooper and that he feels awful about it. Blaine kisses his lips and says he understands why Kurt had such dark thoughts and that this is just the way it is now. He kisses Kurts lips and strikes one of the silver streaks where its plastered to his forehead, he scoots closer and presses his naked body up against Kurts as close as he can get.

They spend all their time thats not with Quinn and Cooper like that, naked in bed pressed as tightly together as they can get. Kurt sometimes still hesitates and pulls back, says hes afraid of what is to come. That he isnt sure if he can convince Plutarch to have him join them on their journey to Thirteen, that he is afraid of Blaine dying and that hes afraid being this close might break his heart even more.

Blaine, however, never lets him pull back too far. He holds him tight around his waiste and keeps whispering how much he loves Kurt, that he cannot fight if he doesnt know for certain Kurt will be waiting on the other side. He knows its a lot to put on Kurt, but its true and its something he needs to say. With thoughts of Kurt and Cooper waiting for him, maybe even Quinns probable death wont stop him from fighting.

Johanna and Finnick, as well as Beetee and Wiress from District 3 have special orders from Plutarch regarding the outbreak mission, and so Quinn and Blaine are let out of the loop of information pretty much to the same extent as Katniss and Peeta. The only thing they know more than them is that there is a plan in the first place, and that Katniss needs to be alive when they execute it. There are a few other Districts in on the mission, all of them prepared to die for Katnisss sake. Plutarch, who comes by on the day before rating, presses to them that they need to save Peeta as much as Katniss.

“Katniss will not want to be in an alliance with anyone if Peeta isnt there,” he explains. Blaines heart sinks to his stomach. He is entering the Arena with a promise to save two lives of people he has never even met before. Had it been for Johanna, for Finnick or even the morphlings that are entering the Arena for Six, he would have at least known them.

Kurt seems to take that worse, knowing that Blaine has two lives he needs to maybe sacrifice himself for. He gets angry with Plutarch at first, who merely throws him off with an angry glare and tells him to calm down or hell have his quarter privileges revoked. And with that Blaine, as well as Cooper and Quinn, understand they cannot mess with the head gamemaker. He calls the shots and if he doesnt like what someone does, he has to power as well in the Capitol as in the rebellion to eliminate them.

Blaine doesnt really know what to do about his rating the next day, goes into it as unprepared as two years ago and manages to do the same thing again. This time, though, he makes sure to land somewhere safer than on the gamemakers platform and that night he gains a respectable seven. Quinn, who had chosen to show basic hunting skills and knots, gains a high nine. It shows, Blaine thinks, that the scores mean nothing more than what the Capitol wants the scores to be. Quinn is more popular than Blaine. They have known her for longer, and though Blaine is fresher in their minds, a pretty girl always wins.

Things with rating dont get weird until Katniss and Peeta each earn a historic twelve. No one in the Games has ever before been rated so high. “Probably so all the sponsors Plutarch gets them wont be suspicious,” Kurt smartly deducts later that night, and Blaine catches it only because he is unable to fall asleep, somewhat nervous for his interview the next day.

Isabelle tries her hardest to guide Quinn and Blaine in the right direction for their interview, wants them to gather sponsors they know they wont need anyway. Instead, they look at each other and know all they need to do now is wait for what the other tributes do and not disappoint.

Kurt dresses Blaine in a simple, silver suit, it fits him perfectly and he feels proud for a few short moments, until he sees Quinn and understands again that what they really are doing here is ripening them all for slaughter. Tina, who has been suspiciously absent over the past four days, has dressed Quinn mostly in pink. Her hair is longer than it naturally is, pink streaks through it. She has large, fake, pink eyelashes stuck to her lids and her dress is completely pink, with silver hoops woven all around it. She looks gorgeous, disturbingly so and Blaines is just about to say something when behind her Katniss emerges.

Shes dressed in one of the wedding gowns that had been shown on the broadcast, and she looks gorgeously terrifying. The entire crowd of tributes falls silent as she enters, gawking at the cruelty of what she says president Snow has insisted upon. Blaines attention only gets distracted when someone shoves him forward and he realizes Quinn is walking onto stage. The crowd cheers for her, though not very enthusiastically and Blaine wonders what he has missed, what has made them so subdued.

Quinn talks about home, how she has lost her parents right after her games and that she was only just picking her life back up when she was to be a mentor. That she thinks of Blaine as her little brother, always has and that she was broken on the inside when Blaines name was reaped two years ago. Her words ring true, Blaine remembers her distance well as she speaks about it. She tells them how grateful she was for the people of the Capitol to have helped her save Blaine and he hears someone sobbing in the front row. Caesar, too, wipes a tear away from his cheek. She says she cant ever repay the Capitol for what they have done for her and that shes sorry they are about to lose so many of their amazing tributes. She is trying to get their sympathy, empathy even, and it seems to work.

When Blaine walks on stage after Quinn, he decides to talk about Cooper and only Cooper. He finds him and Kurt sitting beside each other in the audience and somehow he ends up talking about all the amazing people he has met in the Capitol. He mentions Kurt, Tina, Isabelle and he mentions how the other victors are his friends. He says its going to be hard to fight against Johanna because he thinks shes amazing and he says he doesnt know how he could ever kill sweet old Mags. Technically he has never spoken to her, but he has seen her on the tour and around last year so its believable at least. The crowd loves it, as does Caesar, and he wishes Blaine the best of luck in this terrible time of need.

He takes his place next to Quinn and doesnt really pay attention to the other tributes, who seem to only make the crowd more subdued and sob louder. It isnt until Katniss walks on in her wedding gown that the crowd even reacts to a costume. And its not even really the wedding dress that calls for the loudest reaction of the Capitol. When Katniss does her signature twirl, the dress seems to light up for real and as she keeps spinning it turns black as coal. She raiser her arms above her head once the smoke blows off and its only then that Blaine and Quinn simultaneously gasp. Cinna has turned Katniss into a Mockingjay.

Right here, in front of the entire population of Panem to see he shows everyone who might have still been in doubt that she is, and will be, their Mockingjay. The audience doesnt seem to grasp it, for them the Mockingjay is a simple fashion outlet and so the reaction to the transformation from Capitol Chosen Bride to Leader of the rebellion goes fairly unnoticed. Only in Kurt and Coopers eyes can Blaine read the fear as well as pride.

Peeta, as the male of District 12, is up last and when he hesitantly announces Katniss is with child he manages to wipe every other Districts chances away. The crowd erupts in loud screaming, they chant for Katniss and for Peeta, for the Games to be canceled. Blaine cant make out what any of them say, all he knows now is that at some point Quinn grabs his hand tightly and when he looks down the line he sees other tributes do the same. He grabs the hand of the District 10s female on his other side and lifts them high above his head. Everything around them is loud, the anthems rhythm vibrating through his body. He sees them all holding hands, united, on a big screen before it gets cut off.

Everything then is a blur, people around them push them towards the elevators but make sure only tributes from the same District get on one. He tries to get to Katniss, to Peeta to ask if it is true, if shes really pregnant and he tries to get to Johanna to make sure she knows theyre in on the rebellion before she kills him tomorrow at the Cornucopia.

Tomorrow.

He doesnt get to any of them, instead he and Quinn get pushed onto an elevator together and it shoots up to the ninth floor before he can even wave at Wiress from District 3 to tell her hes on their side. Upstairs they are greeted by a distressed Cooper, who frantically walks around the living area, muttering under his breath.

“They sent everyone home,” he says to Blaine apologetically, “Im sorry, everyone has gone home, Kurt isnt here.”

If Blaine had been waiting for the last bit that would make him crumble, this would not have been what he expected. Yet, the moment he hears Kurt wont be in his bed with him tonight he collapses. Its as if the fire in his veins finally finds its way out, through his spine it ripples over his tongue and out into Nines quarters. He screams, yells and cries until his lunges give out. His heart beats wildly against his ribcage, as his mind runs in circles around the thought of where Kurt could be right now.
He pushes Cooper and Quinn off him as they try to comfort him, he balls his hands into fists and slams against the carpet.

Whatever was building up inside him, the anger and hurt, all the pent up frustration of what the Capitol is doing to him and his family comes out. He cries and cries until he cant anymore, he cries until his body gives up and he just lies there, unmoving, he cries, kicks and screams until he cant protest to Cooper picking him up and putting him to bed anymore.

Cooper crawls behind him, Quinn lies in front of him and for the first time since he won the Games two years ago he hears her sing their song again. She sings it softly about pureness and innocence, while stroking his cheek in a motherly fashion. Her caring touch, her pure and gorgeous voice and Coopers arms tight around him make it able for Blaine to drown out the buzzing sounds from the streets below. Exhausted from this day, this evening and this life, he manages to find a dreamless sleep, the last night hell have before the Quarter Quell officially kicks off.